Chapter 137 - I am tired of living

As soon as his manager arrived, Jean immediately told him what he had heard from his mother.

"Maman said I do have a best friend named Finland. Maybe she is the key to what happened to me that made me go into a coma. Do you still have yesterday's photo and her phone number?" said Jean quickly. He was holding his head which still felt dizzy.

"Uhmm... the number can't be reached." said Jean's manager in a choked voice. "Maybe she does know what happened to you. At that time, she said she knew the person who shot you. The police would want to investigate her..."

"No, don't involve the police." Jean took a deep breath, "She must be scared because she thought the police is chasing after her."

"You don't remember her face at all and where she lives?" asked Jean's manager again. "She called with an American number yesterday. If she was the same person, she called me from Singapore 6 months ago, saying she would move to America. She said you took her to Colmar to show her her father's grave..."

"Is that true?" Jean became more interested. He could not imagine going to a unfamiliar place like Colmar to visit someone's grave. He tried to exert all his memory to imagine his friend's face, but failed. He only had a name now, but he was unable to remember what Finland looked like.

"This is all very strange... I can't remember the things that happened over the last few years. Everything just feels vague..." he complained.

"You should not burden yourself with thoughts that will make you stressed. It's better to focus on getting well and then we'll think about other things..."

Finally Jean nodded sadly.

***

Finland tried to obey the doctor and rest in the hospital so that her pregnancy was not affected. She was still very stressed, but Anne and Lucia visited her every day and made her feel a little better. Tony even stopped by twice and brought a fruit basket.

Rory, who yesterday was just a stranger to Finland, took the position as her brother and came to take care of her every day. It made Finland somewhat uncomfortable because she was bothering a man she just met.

"I don't want to hear you talk like that again..." said Rory finally, annoyed. "I am sincerely helping you. Can't you just take it and say thank you?"

"Sorry, I'm not used to depending on other people..." Finland apologized for the umpteenth time for offending Rory. She immediately remembered that Caspar was always helping her and told her to learn to accept the kindness of others...

At a time like this she missed her husband very much. But she did not know how to contact Caspar. Finland already said that she would contact Caspar when Jean woke up from his coma.

However, because she lost her phone, she couldn't contact him. She didn't have any number to call... Should she go to Singapore and look for him at the Continental Hotel?

"What are you thinking about? It seems like you have been daydreaming forever..." said Rory, moving Finland from her reverie. "Are you hungry?"

"Uhmm... yes, I'm hungry."

Rory took an apple and a fruit knife and peeled it for Finland. "Here, eat this..."

Finland gratefully accepted the apple and ate it. People who do not know them would think that Rory was a husband who was taking care of his very pregnant wife, who was ready to give birth to their child. He seemed very patient and caring.

"Don't you need to work?" Finland asked later. She just realized that during this week Rory accompanied her almost all the time.

"I have a lot of money, so there's no need for me to work," Rory answered nonchalantly. "I'm not busy, so I can accompany you here."

"Aren't you bored being in the hospital all the time?" Finland asked later. "Don't you want to walk outside to enjoy the fresh air?"

Rory looked at her with a strange look, then answered, "Lately I've come to love hospitals. The smell of death makes me feel good."

"How strange..." Finland commented. "How are there people who are happy with death?"

"I am indeed strange." Rory answered nonchalantly, but a moment later he took a deep breath and became more serious. "I'm tired of living."

"Why?" Finland asked later. She was sad to see Rory's eyes filled with such sadness.

"I have no one else in this world. I have lived alone for a long time, and now I feel that I have no more purpose in living. I have done everything I want to do. I no longer have a bucket list or wish list. I have visited all the places I want to visit, and I have tasted all the food I want to enjoy. My life is complete. It's time for me to die..."

"Hey... why are you talking like that?" Finland asked in surprise. "You are still very young. You will still meet many people. You will fall in love and find a new purpose in life..."

Rory smiled slightly and shrugged.

"You're too optimistic."

Finland almost laughed at that. This was the first time anyone called her an optimist. Basically, Finland, who was accustomed to living in misery, was a pessimist. It was hard for her to believe in others and she always tend to suspect that there was a motive behind everyone's kindness towards her.

That was the reason why Caspar desperately tried to open her heart and allow herself to receive love. She did not think that today Rory would call her too optimistic.

Finland suddenly screamed in pain. Rory panicked and held her hand.

"What's wrong? Are you in pain? Where's the pain?" He immediately rang the bell for a doctor to come.

"Aahh... it hurts so much...!!" Finland curled up holding her stomach, which felt as if it had been punched so hard. "It looks like I'll be giving birth..."

Rory tried to calm himself and then calmed Finland,

"It's okay, the doctor will come here soon... you take a deep breath first..."

Finland's scream broke out when her stomach felt like it was squeezed by an invisible giant hand. The doctor soon arrived, followed by several nurses. He checked Finland's condition and immediately made a decision.

"The patient has contracted to give birth... but the opening is still small. You should accompany the patient here first and help count the time of the contractions. It is likely that the baby will come out tonight."

"What...? Why does it take so long..???! Ouch... it hurts..." Finland never imagined that the pain of contractions would be so severe. It was still 2 pm! How could she endure such pain until the night?

"The contraction does hurt but it only lasts for a short time; the distance between contractions is still too long. Later, when the contraction takes place every two minutes, let me know, we will take her to the delivery room."

"All right, Doc. I'll look after her here." Rory sat next to Finland and tried to cheer her up. "Don't be afraid, I'm here..."

Finland cried while enduring the pain. At times like this she really missed Caspar... She was very sorry for disappearing without telling Caspar on her whereabouts.

She was so angry about what happened to Jean, but she felt very afraid to be in the hospital alone and for the fact that she had to give birth without Caspar by her side...