Chapter 185 - Forgiveness and starting over

"What are you thinking about?"

Caspar suddenly appeared behind Finland, who wasn't paying attention because she was preoccupied with so many problems. The girl gasped and held her chest in shock.

"Gosh... don't sneak up on me like that... You startled me," she grumbled.

"It was not my intention to sneak up on you, but you were too absorbed in your thinking, you didn't hear me coming," Caspar said in his defense. "What is troubling your mind?"

"You must know..." Finland sighed. "Before all this trouble is over, I can't calm down."

"Me too." Caspar hugged Finland from behind and buried his head in her hair. "I'm scared to death if anything happens to Aleksis..."

Finland was surprised when she felt some dampness on her hair – was Caspar crying? She touched Caspar's hands on her waist and tried to calm the man down. She did not expect that behind his calm appearance, Caspar was actually very worried about the whole situation.

"If Lauriel and his crew fails... I will go to Katia and Alexei and kneel before them so they will spare Aleksis' life..." Finland whispered. "I'm willing to replace her and drink their poison."

"No, Honey. They don't want you, but me. If all else fails, I will come to them and grant Katia's wish. If Katia really wants to see me take Death, I will. Living forever means nothing to me without you nor Aleksis. If that should happen, we will age together and spend the rest of our lives as commoners..." Caspar said firmly.

Finland was stunned to hear Caspar's statement. She turned around and looked deep into his eyes. She never thought about this possibility. Katia wanted to get revenge by forcing Caspar to take Death... The intention was to make Caspar leave the world of immortalities and become a regular human being. His body would no longer be as special as the body of an Alchemist. He would no longer be able to live forever.

At the same time Alexei would have his wish granted. If Caspar were no longer an Alchemist, he would have no right to lead the clan. In the absence of Aldebar to replace Caspar, the clan members would be forced to choose a new leader.

Lauriel would certainly not accept the position because he had long wanted to resign from worldly affairs. Therefore, Alexei would be the strongest candidate because he had the support of many purists, including Ned and Portia, and their highly influential families.

Of course, this was not a bad choice, as long as Caspar and Finland could be together. Katia's original plan was to make Caspar so heartbroken after seeing the girl he loved marry Lauriel, forcing him to take Death. Katia would not have taken into account that Caspar would voluntarily take Death to be able to live with Finland until they grow old and grey. Finland was still a commoner after all, and nothing would change in her life.

Finland was not sure if Caspar was mentally ready to leave his life as an Alchemist and live like Finland. He would grow old, get sick, and eventually die like everyone else. The man didn't even know what it was like to live as an ordinary person! Finland was afraid that Caspar would become depressed if that were to happen...

She thought about Lauriel, who was ready to take the potion of death two years ago, because he was bored of life. Now his passion for life returned only because he considered Aleksis as his goddaughter.

Certainly, it would be very difficult, especially for Caspar, who has a biological child, to accept Death, because Finland knew that he always hoped to live a long life, forever with his children...

Finland really wished that there was no need for Caspar to take Death.

"Let's hope that Lauriel and his crew will succeed so that neither you nor I have to face Katia and Alexei in person..." the girl said quietly. She blinked, holding back hear tears from dripping. If Caspar was currently very worried, she should hold her emotions and not be frantic. One of them must remain strong for the sake of their family.

Finland turned, kissed Caspar and wiped his teary eyes.

"Where is Aleksis?" she asked him to distract their attention from their problem.

"Hmm... she's drawing with Kara," Caspar answered in a hoarse voice. "We brought lots of leaves and worms from outside to be her models..."

"Ah... she always has a thing for worms," commented Finland. "You should see how many worms we raised in the farm in Colorado because of her..."

"Is that true?" Caspar shook his head at this. Finland then told the various small animals that have been 'adopted' by Aleksis when they were on Lauriel's farm.

"I have a lot of photos to show you..." Finland pulled Caspar's hand and invited him to sit on the sofa as she pulled out her laptop. "You can see pictures of Aleksis since she was a baby..."

She opened a folder on her laptop and showed hundreds of photos and videos of Aleksis taken since the little girl was a baby until her second birthday in Brazil. Caspar looked at one photo after the other almost without moving. His eyes were filled with tears again.

It was not fair; he lost so many moments with his daughter, because Finland one-sidedly decided to leave him. He was not there when Aleksis was born, he did not see her first walk, he did not hear her first word, and he was not there to celebrate her first and second birthday.

If they had not met in Singapore a few days ago, he would miss more of his daughter's life, and his heart would still be broken, thinking Aleksis was Lauriel's daughter.

This thought makes his heart ache. He understood why Finland had taken that decision, but that did not mean that the pain became any less. Now, to imagine that he would lose his only child to the poison given by Katia, he was even more depressed. Had they not separated, those two devils would never have been able to touch Aleksis.

"What is wrong...?" Finland asked, seeing Caspar frown. "You don't like seeing the photos?"

"Hmm..." Caspar didn't answer. He did not want to start a new fight with Finland. At the moment his priority was Aleksis' wellbeing.

"You look unhappy..." Finland frowned. She had never seen Caspar's expression like this before and she became worried. "Did I make a mistake?"

Caspar looked at her sadly. "I'm sorry, I was very worried, and for a moment my mind blamed you for everything. A small voice in my head said that if you had not been selfish and left me, I would have been able to be a part of all the moments in Aleksis' life, and Katia and Alexei would not have been able to touch her... I can always protect her, and she won't suffer like now..."

Finland was taken aback by Caspar's words. She pursed her lips with a shocked expression. "Do... do you blame me?"

"No, Honey. I don't blame you. It was just an ugly thought that came into my head... I'm sorry... I've never been this stressed before in my life..." Caspar hurriedly shook his head. "Whatever happened, it's behind us. Our enemies now are Katia and Alexei... Right now, I need you, and I won't be able to go through another fight with you."

Finland bit her lip and nodded, "But you are right, I was selfish. I shouldn't have robbed you of your two years with the Aleksis... I'm sorry. I haven't apologized properly. You did take Jean's memory, but you gave him immortality, and all the decisions that you took was solely for everyone's best interest..."

Caspar nodded slowly, "Thank you for acknowledging that. I forgive you. Whatever happens in the future, I ask you to never to do that again. I'd rather have you hate me openly and ask me to take Death, like Katia did, than you kill me slowly like that. You don't know how bad my life was after you left... I decided to isolate myself from the world, and Ned and Portia's party would be my last public appearance... I planned to take Death and disappear. Katia didn't need to poison Aleksis for me to take Death... for me, life was meaningless after I found out that you and Lauriel were together. You have no idea how unattractive it is for me to live forever, when the only girl I ever love was with another man, building a family..."

"Oh God, Caspar... I'm sorry, I didn't know. I thought you were happy with Sophia..." cried Finland.

This was the first time he spoke about how much he suffered after she left. She felt even more guilty. "I'm sorry... if we hadn't met in Singapore... maybe it would have been too late for you and for me ..."

Caspar sighed. "I'm glad you looked for me in Singapore. I'm glad we can finally be together again. Please don't leave me ever again..."

"I promise, I will never leave you ever again. Whatever happens, I will always be with you..." whispered Finland.

"This is a promise I will always demand from you," Caspar said, finally starting to smile. He placed Finland's laptop on the table and held the girl's shoulder and kissed her deeply. Last week, he had no passion for life at all, and was about to go into seclusion after Ned and Portia's party.

For him life was no longer interesting without Finland by his side. Thankfully, fate was kind enough to reunite them and resolve all the misunderstandings that existed between them. Now that he had poured his heart out, and Finland had apologized for leaving him, they could finally really open a new chapter together.

His heart was filled with happiness because Finland was now at his side, together with Aleksis. His daughter was very beautiful and smart, and he loved her to bits. He felt like the happiest man on earth.

He kissed Finland more passionately and went for her lips, her hair, and then he started nibbling on her ear lobes just like how she liked it, and then he went down to her neck and left her a few soft love bites. He went even lower to her collarbone and slowly descended to her plump breasts.

"What if someone enters...?" Finland whispered between her soft moans as Caspar pulled her sweater off.

"No one would dare enter without..." Caspar's words stopped as soon as the door opened and Aleksis entered, followed by Kara. The man hurriedly sat on the sofa and covered Finland's body from view.

"Daddy...! I'm done drawing..." Aleksis exclaimed happily, holding up the drawing paper in her hand. Kara looked in horror and bowed apologetically.

"I'm sorry, Sir. Miss Aleksis really wants to show her drawing and immediately ran here. We will not bother you any further. I will immediately bring little Miss out..." She hurriedly picked up Aleksis by her waist and got out of Caspar's study and closed the door behind them. The little girl was laughing in amusement when Kara took her out.

Caspar and Finland looked at each other and then took a deep breath.

"Gosh..." Finland held her palpitating chest. "Next time we have to lock the door..."

"You're right..." Caspar immediately moved to the door and locked it. "I've never had to lock a door before. Nobody dared to enter without my approval. I don't think Aleksis counts."

Finland nodded. "That's how it is to be parents. We can't be doing things at will anymore..."

"But I don't mind," Caspar approached Finland, smiling sweetly. "It's all worth it."

He held the girl to his chest and kissed her hair lovingly.

***