Chapter 50: The Undeliverable Express IX (above)
You've never had a saviour complex, and even when you're stuck in a time loop, you never want to save the world, you just see it as a few extra days in your long life and try to make the best of each one.
You will help an elderly person simply because you don't want to see them suffer, and it makes you think of your own elders.
But you never realise that a single act that you do on a whim can really change a person's life.
You are bewildered and helpless, not understanding the meaning of the cycle of time that God has made for you.
Was it to save the cat litter lady who was hurt by the air conditioning man?
Or to save this elderly homeless man who fainted on the road due to low blood sugar triggered by hunger?
How can you shoulder the heavy burden of so many people's lives when you are still treading on thin ice when you are carrying the burden of your own?
"What's wrong with you? Is it because you know that old man from earlier?"
When someone sees you sitting on the side of the road in a daze, they nudge you, "If you know her, why are you still sitting here? Find out which hospital they've taken you to, and go and see!"
This nudges you awake and you rise as if from a dream.
Luckily it hadn't been long since the incident happened and the owner of the car involved was following the traffic police who arrived later to negotiate.
When you arrive at the hospital out of breath and enquire about the old man, the nurse at the A&E reception desk asks you what your relationship is to the old man, who is in an emergency and does not accept visits from strangers.
Once again, you are at a loss.
In this time loop, did you know the old man?
No, you don't know each other.
Not only do they not know each other, they don't even have the usual friendship of delivering a breakfast.
Even if you meet with him up there, what can you say?
Was he so miserable already that he had to be surrounded by strangers in his sickness?
"I was just a passer-by at the scene and wanted to know how he was doing."
You get stuck, grin helplessly and find a place to sit outside the emergency room and wait.
Although we won't be able to meet, we should at least know if he will be well at last.
The hospital was a place you knew all too well, and you spent the last few months of your mother's life in the hospital after she took off that uniform, seeing too many sorrows and joys.
But nowhere will you feel like you are in a constant race with death like in the Emergency Department.
You watch as the tall ambulance driver rushes into the emergency room with the accompanying doctor on a trolley, and as the patient's family emerges from the emergency room crying out in distress.
You see patients crying for help, and you see people being rescued shouting "I don't want to live".
There has been no news from the old man.
You know from the family members who have been waiting next door that the bus and tanker related accident that happened this afternoon affected many people, and because this hospital has a better burn unit, many patients have been referred here as well, and the emergency department is so busy now, all because of that accident this afternoon.
You are shocked to hear that the casualties of the accident have been heavy, with the death toll now exceeding twenty.
The nurse in the emergency department originally thought you were a relative of the old man, but it turned out that you were just a passer-by, curiously looking you over and asking you about the old man's current condition.
The elderly homeless man, who has severe malnutrition and is old, this time fainted from hunger and weakness on the road and was run over by an oncoming car.
Just as you bend down to pull the covers back up for him, he suddenly wakes up.
At the sight of you, he seemed to take you for some other person and held your hand weakly.
"Don't you do what I do!"
His fingers are weak, but his gaze is dead on, word by word, "You need to do everything right, every single thing that matters! Don't become like me."
You shiver at the touch of the old man's cold fingers on his dangling water and look at him with a surprised expression.
"He's awake!"
Drivers and police officers who were waiting for the patient to wake up gathered around.
Doctors and nurses rushed in, taking temperatures and asking questions.
Unfortunately, after releasing your hand, the old man is not conscious and cannot speak clearly, mumbling words that no one else understands.
You withdrew your palm and quietly left the ward as everyone else gathered around to care for the elderly.
The two of them had met by chance and had become emotionally connected by chance, but how could we really say that their relationship was that deep?
Just knowing that he is alive and being cared for gives you peace of mind.
You are now truly letting go of the burden in your heart.
Before leaving the hospital, the pretty little nurse with the big flashing eyes wants you to leave her a contact so that she can send you a message or call you if anything happens to the old grandfather afterwards.
You thanked her for her kind offer.
Like you said, you are just an ordinary passerby who gives your kindness without thinking that the lives of others are your responsibility.
What was originally caused by your negligence was made up for by the blood you donated, and you have no regrets for the elderly homeless.
And tomorrow is not necessarily still tomorrow. There is no point in that old man following up on anything, and leaving a phone number or not.
You brush off like a chivalrous man who does good deeds without leaving a name, not seeing the little nurse stamping her feet in the night breeze in depression.
After you have ascertained the elderly person's health and left the hospital, it is already 10pm, long after the time when the lottery is won.
But that's okay, the results of today's draw can also be found online on your mobile phone.
After a long day of tossing and turning, you finally get hungry, find a convenience store, make a bowl of noodles at the window sill, take out your phone and start searching for the results of today's draw.
The lottery ticket you have just pulled out of your pocket is placed in front of your bubble noodles, and you bared your noodles while waiting for the results of your search.
A few minutes later, the lottery ticket is thrown in the bin by you.
The lottery was drawn and someone still won 500 million, but the number was not the one you bought and the winner turned out to be a lucky player from another province.
And the lottery numbers you worked so hard to memorise yesterday are now a scrap of paper.
It was the only way to change your life that you could have hoped for in your class, and now it's dashed.
You have a hot noodle in your hand, but your body is as cold as if you had fallen into an ice cave.
[It turns out that everything can change but you being stuck in this day won't.]
The author has something to say: Because Boy and Li Shiqing on the bus crew's side are desperately trying to change the timeline, each day is actually different and not struggling in the same timeline. As long as the time has been altered, it will be fanned out differently by the butterfly wings, including the lottery numbers each day, so Brother Boy's tawdry attempt to make a fortune with the lottery until the next day is not very solid
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