Chapter 103 - Changed Of Mind

Conrad took her to places that she wanted to go. To an amusement park. To cold places. They even have a picnic. But seeing how much she enjoyed it made him happy and worried at the same time. Her work as an agent in the EPUA is quite dangerous and it's the first time that he asked someone on a date after he became an agent in EPUA. There were hookups back in EPUA but seeing Johanna happy like this is different. 

"I have never been out like this." She said as she sipped on the milk tea that they bought. 

"Because you were so busy at work that you forgot to treat yourself." He glared at a few people who were about to bump on her and pulled her closer to him. 

She looked up at him and acted like it's nothing. 

"So, are we renting a room?" She asked. 

"We are going back to your house." He said. 

She was curious. They were supposed to rent a room for their lovemaking. Is he changing his mind about lovemaking? She told him clearly that she didn't want him to force himself into a serious relationship. She's fine with friends with benefits but the two of them can't fuck anyone. 

"Are we going there?" She sounded disappointed. 

"Yeah." He put his arm on her shoulder as he glanced around them. He almost dragged her back to the parking lot. He opened the door of his car and told her to get in. 

She was puzzled as she obeyed him and put her cup on the cup holder beside her and put her seatbelt on once he sat on the driver's seat. He turned on the car and put on his seatbelt. 

"What's wrong?" She asked. 

Conrad looked pale but calm. Something was going on and she knew that it's something wrong. He pulled out from the parking lot and left the park quickly. She didn't ask him the same question. She only looked at his serious face. 

"Conrad." 

"Let's just go home." 

Great! Their date was ruined. She was expecting lots of intimate gestures and movement and kissing and finally sex. It's not that she's desperate for him. She's just desperate to get rid of virginity. When in the country's tradition, virginity should be given to your first night as a married woman, in America and other countries, you can give it to anyone you like or love. Her years in America were always working, studying, and organizing her schedules. She also thought of having sex while she's on pills but it didn't work out. None of them give her the same intensity as Conrad does. 

She had a feeling that this night wouldn't go thrilling as she expected. She already plans to please herself in a way after she gets rid of virginity but somehow, Conrad's mood was ruining it. 

"So, we are not going to pop my cherry?" She asked as she took her milk tea and sipped on it, with her eyes on him. 

He looked at her and was momentarily mesmerized at those adorable innocent-looking big brown eyes. He quickly looked away and faced the driveway. 

"Let's talk when we get home." 

"Sure." She said without showing many expressions. "Hurry up, I'll pee in a few minutes." 

He didn't say anything as she relaxed on her seat while sipping on her milk tea. They soon reached the penthouse building and he parked his car next to her car. Then, he escorted her back home, following her behind like a real bodyguard. Conrad hated to keep his hands far away from her. But he had to do it. Just a while ago, his nightmare was visiting him. 

The maids haven't come home yet since they were given two days off as they wished. She sighed as she rushed to the bathroom just outside their room while he's checking her room if someone might be hiding ready to kill her.

"Jo, nothing is here. You are ready to go." He turned around and found her removing her jacket and throwing it somewhere. She went to her closet and started stripping. She didn't care if he was still in her room. 

He watched those fit back from behind. Her shape was like an hourglass as she tiptoed and reached something. He had seen her whole naked body and yet they haven't had actual sex. He checked the windows and balcony again and he made sure that the curtains were closed. Then, he left her room to give her privacy. He walked briskly to the kitchen and poured himself a glass of water. 

"I have to stop." He mumbled. 

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Johanna lay down on her bed as she chatted with Keira. She told her that Conrad suddenly changed his mind and didn't want to have sex with her. She told almost everything to Keira. Also, Keira knew that she wasn't up for any serious relationship. She thought that Conrad was the same. They could just go all the way but he changed his mind. 

"Fuck it." She mumbled. "I'll find someone else if he rejects me again." 

She left her room and went to Conrad's room. He was surprised to see her. She crossed her arms. 

"I'm going to the club. If you don't want to do it with me, then I'll find someone to get rid of my virginity." She said coldly and turned back from him as she walked back to her room. She thought that Conrad would ignore her and there she was rummaging to her wardrobe. She hasn't had anything slutty that would cry for sex or do it with her. She crossed her arms and tilted her head. 

"Everything is for work." She mumbled. 

At their date, Conrad didn't request her to wear a dress. And so, she wears something casual. Jeans and t-shirts do. But Jeans and a t-shirt to a club are a big cross. 

"You can't be serious!" Conrad exclaimed at her. 

"What?" She turned to him, showing no emotions. 

"Are you that desperate to get fucked?" He asked, sounding harsh. But she remains expressionless. 

"Why? Can't I get it? I'm not fuckable? Just a few hours ago, we were dry humping and you were playing on my body! Then, you suddenly said that we can't do it?" She scoffed. "Then watch me do it with another man!" 

Conrad clenched his fist. He can't possibly see her with another man. He already imagined it but it's not a good thing to see. Even though they just knew each other for weeks, maybe just days, he already liked her. He was attracted to her although she only wore casual clothes. His body stirred up, seeing her with a t-shirt and jeans. 

"If it's a big deal to you, then it's fine. There were lots of men who were willing to do it with me." She mumbled as she kept rummaging on her clothes. 

"It's not that…" Conrad said. "It's not like that. I~~" He approached her and hugged her from behind. "I have to give you up." He whispered. 

"Giving me up? I am not asking for a serious relationship. We can become sex buddies." She unwrapped his arms and pushed him. She flipped her hair that was going to her face and crossed her arms. "Conrad, I won't ask for flowers, jewelry, or chocolates. I won't ask for your commitment." She sighed, feeling frustrated. "I just want to have sex and get rid of this. I don't need a man to pamper me. I can pamper myself and please myself." 

Conrad reached her jaw and caressed her hair. 

"I don't mean to piss you off. You deserved to be pampered, to be loved, and to have a man to protect you. I just~~my work…" 

"You said that it's not on the contract that you can't have sex with me." She calmed her voice as she noticed that his hands were cold and his eyes looked worried and sad. "I won't ask you to marry me or something." 

"I don't want to put you in a dangerous situation like you are now." 

"What do you mean?" 

He sighed slowly and kissed her forehead. She noticed that his lips shuddered a bit. Why was he scared? 

"Let's just do it." She said, "I won't be pushy or demand things from you. Don't you want it?" 

"I want you badly. I don't want just 'it', but you." He lifted her chin and bent down to kiss her passionately. She pushed him and he stopped kissing.

"Conrad, let's just do it. I am serious." 

"Okay," he nodded. "But, would you trust me if I ask you to move out from your penthouse? I suggest that you'll stay with your family in the mansion or moved to somewhere safer." 

"Yes, but you have to tell me what's bothering you." 

Conrad pulled her toward the bed and he sat down. She sat beside him and noticed that his hands were shaking. 

"I had a big trauma from my past." He mumbled. "This assassin was like Harvey. He's an upgraded version of Harvey. I had encountered him many times and every woman that I bed after that~~that encounter where I almost killed him, he came back and bedded the same women that I did and killed them, then sent photos to me. I thought that he was gone but he was watching us." 

Chills sent through her spine, but it wouldn't change that she wanted him. 

"Well, let's have some food first and beer, maybe?" She smiled at him. "I won't die, Conrad. I have you. I have Harvey and I have a family." She pushed him down and straddled him. "I know that I was nothing compared to how you were trained. But," She bit his lower lips to seduce him. "My big brother promised to protect me." 

"And I will protect you too." He caressed her hair and kissed her nose.