CH 12

Impulsive Confession?

After discovering his own feelings, this emotion troubled Ying Ruoyun deeply.

Although, as a well-known art college in China, A City University of Arts has an open culture and is not prejudiced against such things, the School of Music is on the forefront of the times and even regards it as a kind of trend.

What Ying Ruoyun was worried about was how to pursue Shu Jingzhi.

He is very direct in his approach to relationships, he expresses his feelings when he likes someone, and he likes to get them.

But Shu Jingzhi is too distant for him, and there seems to be an insurmountable rift between them...

He had a large number of fans at the School of Music alone, not to mention Shu Jingzhi's legions of fans at home and abroad.

But what about himself?

Perhaps if he won the first prize in the string category of the University Music Competition, he would be able to impress him?

With this in mind, he immediately perked up.

He had a small amount of talent, although he could not match Shu Jingzhi for the time being, but!

Ying Ruoyun thought, he had the confidence.

One day, he would be qualified enough to become someone that he would respect and admire.

After that night, like a madman, Ying Ruoyun devoted himself almost entirely to professional practice.

Meeting twice a week, even Shu Jingzhi was amazed at the speed of his progress.

But no matter how fast he progressed, Shu Jingzhi always had something new to teach him.

Every time, he was always so physically and mentally engrossed.

Ying Ruoyun had the illusion that Shu Jingzhi was his guide, who would always walk in front of him and show him the way.

Sometimes when he was lazy, he walked slower, and sometimes when he got himself together, he picked up the pace.

There had never been anyone who was so compatible with him musically, and who he admired so wholeheartedly.

He even felt that before he met Shu Jingzhi, he was not himself.

After he met Shu Jingzhi, Ying Ruoyun became Ying Ruoyun.

———

In the National University Music Competition that took place later, it was no surprise that Ying Ruoyun took first place in the string category and received several invitations to international events.

Every time he recalled that night, Ying Ruoyun would feel that although it was not the happiest or most painful moment of his university days, it was definitely the most humiliating.

When the host announced the winners and he heard his name, he stopped breathing.

There was an outburst of enthusiastic applause and his picture appeared on the huge projector screen.

The guest presenter, a renowned expert in the violin world, was exceptionally pleased to shake hands with Ying Ruoyun for a photo and exclaimed, "Excellent talent, unlimited potential, a promising future."

When the host invited him to give his acceptance speech, Ying Ruoyun said, "The first person I would like to thank is a senior, who is not really my teacher, but has helped me a lot. Without his guidance, I would not have been able to win this award."

"Although we've known each other for less than two months, I've gained more than I could have in the previous twenty years. My score was born because of him, and my performance is alive because of him."

"Senior Shu Jingzhi, thank you very much!"

After hearing Shu Jingzhi's name, the audience erupted in a round of applause once again.

Seeing that the mood was good, the host continued, "As we all know, Mr. Shu is a renowned young talent in the classical music world and has been hailed by the Royal Society of Music as a musical genius of the 21st century. We are honoured to have Mr. Shu as our mystery guest at tonight's award ceremony! I wonder, what are Mr. Shu's words and aspirations for your junior?"

The lights hit the VIP seats and the camera switched to Shu Jingzhi.

Ying Ruoyun's head was buzzing, he had only focused on the judges' table, he had never thought that Shu Jingzhi would also be there!

Shu Jingzhi's voice was low and lazy: "Ruoyun is very talented and works very hard..."

Ying Ruoyun's mind had disconnected when he heard him call his name.

Unexpectedly, in front of everyone in the entire banquet hall, and thanks to the simultaneous live broadcast, in front of the entire School of Music, and even in front of students from music departments across the country, Ying Ruoyun said:

"Senior, I like you."

Shu Jingzhi stopped speaking.

The entire hall fell into an eerie silence.

A few seconds later, an unusually boisterous uproar erupted.

The pop-ups on the online live streaming platform instantly surpassed 999.

What was even more explosive was that Shu Jingzhi responded to the sudden confession.

He looked calmly at Ying Ruoyun, his voice indifferent and detached: "Sorry, it has nothing to do with me."

What happened after that, Ying Ruoyun could no longer remember.

All he could remember was that the sky was spinning, and all the external things had disappeared.

There was only Shu Jingzhi in front of him, and in his mind, there were only Shu Jingzhi's words.

Even when he returned to the dormitory from the award ceremony, he was still in a dazed state of mind.

He casually threw the trophy on his desk, flipped open the sheet music and looked at the notes Shu Jingzhi had made for him on it, and couldn't stop the tears from flowing down his face.

His roommate patted him on the shoulder and handed him a dozen beers, reminding him to cry quietly.

Ying Ruoyun grabbed the trophy and smashed the guy's head, dried his tears and swore, "I swear, I don't like him anymore!"

The next morning, Ying Ruoyun realised that the incident had had a much bigger impact on him than he had imagined.

First, he had become famous in the School of Music, and even in the whole school, and had become the most talked-about hot topic apart from Shu Jingzhi.

He even inexplicably received many WeChat messages expressing interest in him and wanting to get involved with him.

Ying Ruoyun: ......

He thought his relationship with Shu Jingzhi was completely severed, so he didn't intend to have any more interactions with him.

When the time came for their weekly meeting, Ying Ruoyun went to the rooftop of the music building to drink his sorrows away.

Halfway through his drink, his cell phone rang, it was Shu Jingzhi.

After much deliberation, he didn't want to hang it up.

Trying to hold back the emotions that were spilling out of his heart, Ying Ruoyun pretended to be calm: "What's the matter?"

"Why didn't you come today?" Shu Jingzhi's tone was ever so indifferent, so natural.

"Why should I have gone?"

"No one will clean up if you don't come."

"Shu Jingzhi, do you have any humanity at all?" Ying Ruoyun tightened his grip on the bottle: "You obviously rejected me that night and made me lose face in front of the whole department, the whole school and the whole country, and you still want to make me go clean up for you today?"

After a moment's pause, Shu Jingzhi's rational voice came from the other side: "You like me, that's none of my business in the first place, did I say anything wrong?"

Ying Ruoyun was so angry that he wanted to hang up the phone.

Shu Jingzhi added: "You come and clean, I will continue to guide you, the choice is yours."

The call ended.

Ying Ruoyun cursed to himself, "Shu Jingzhi, I've misjudged you, you're a shameless son of a bitch!

If I lose face, I'll lose face. I've already lost face anyway, so it's more important to improve my professional skills.

Ying Ruoyun returned to the music building, picked up his case and ran to Shu Jingzhi's house.

Shu Jingzhi leaned on the porch, squinting and asking, "Have you been drinking?"

"Yes," Ying Ruoyun said, "What? Can't I?"

"I doubt whether you can work in your present state."

"Why not? I'm perfectly fine."

"Ying Ruoyun," Shu Jingzhi stood in front of him and looked at him seriously, "my personal instruments are all high-end custom-made, if anything goes wrong, you won't be able to pay for it even if I sell you."

"Don't underestimate people, okay?" When Ying Ruoyun was drunk, he was particularly bold. He had long been displeased by Shu Jingzhi's condescending face and punched him.

Of course, it was stopped halfway by Shu Jingzhi: "You mean, you can afford it?"

"I mean, I won't make a mistake!" Ying Ruoyun was still persistent in his attempts to punch the man, but Shu Jingzhi easily pinned him down on the porch.

"Let go of me, Shu Jingzhi!" A few wisps of drunken blush stained his neck and cheeks as Ying Ruoyun angrily said, "You are really going too far, pretending to be cold, insensitive, narrow-minded and small-minded..."

Before he could finish his sentence, he saw Shu Jingzhi lower his head and gently covered his lips.

Ying Ruoyun immediately froze.

His mind felt like a category 18 hurricane had blown through, or like the aftermath of a magnitude 10 earthquake.

In front of him was Shu Jingzhi's face, the gentle moist and hot touch, the intimate entanglement of his lips and tongue.

He even forgot to breathe.

It was a very brief kiss.

Short but tender.

When Shu Jingzhi released him, Ying Ruoyun was still frozen in place, so stunned that he didn't know what to do.

Shu Jingzhi stroked his hair, "You don't have to work today, I'll give you the day off."

"Oh, um, okay, bye." When Ying Ruoyun turned to leave, Shu Jingzhi stopped him, "You've brought your violin, don't you want to practise?"

"Oh." Following behind Shu Jingzhi, he walked to the study and watched him fetch the sheet music and hand it to him, but that ambiguous kiss kept swirling in Ying Ruoyun’s mind: "Senior."

"Hm?"

"You..." Ying Ruoyun hesitated for a moment before whispering, "If you don't like me, please don't do that kind of thing."

Shu Jingzhi looked at him, "Sorry."

Ying Ruoyun looked down at the score and did not respond.

"I'll play it for you first," Shu Jingzhi stood beside him and instructed, "Listen carefully."

Ying Ruoyun sat on the sofa and looked at him, the soft melody entering his ears was so touching.

The next morning, when Ying Ruoyun woke up, the sun was already up.

Sleepy-eyed and dazed, he saw that it was an unfamiliar room!

With bare feet on the carpet, he opened the door to the room, leaned against the wooden railing on the second floor, and followed the aroma of breakfast to see Shu Jingzhi cooking breakfast.

Ying Ruoyun swallowed.

This is, he stayed at Senior's house last night?

Senior actually knew how to cook!

Shu Jingzhi turned around to fetch milk from the fridge and happened to meet Ying Ruoyun's gaze.

Ying Ruoyun thought about how unattractive he looked in his pyjamas with his hair as messy as a bird's nest, and immediately ran back to the room, closing the door with a bang.

The pyjamas smelled like Shu Jingzhi.

Did Shu Jingzhi carry him upstairs last night and change his clothes for him?

Ah! What's with this ambiguous smell! Did, did, did this mean...

He still had a chance?

Immediately, Ying Ruoyun was radiant, and after washing up, he bounced up to the ground floor in high spirits.

Shu Jingzhi had just finished frying the eggs and placed them on a white porcelain plate.

"Senior! Let me help you serve the food!"

"Be careful, it's hot."

"It's okay, I can do it." Ying Ruoyun picked up two plates and set them down on the dining table next to him, and then, very nonchalantly, took the milk out of the fridge and poured some for himself.

"Don't run around barefoot in the future," Shu Jingzhi sat beside him, "you'll catch a cold easily."

"Oh," Ying Ruoyun's heart warmed up, but his mouth still said, "it's my personal hobby."

"Your hobbies are all very unique."

"Are they?"

"Yes."

"Like what?"

"For example, you like to get caught in the rain."

Ying Ruoyun poked the egg yolk with his knife and smiled at Shu Jingzhi, "Indeed, but then, Senior Shu also likes to walk in the rain."

"Luis, is that your English name?"

"Mmm, how did you know?"

"I saw it when I was helping you pack your violin equipment." Shu Jingzhi fetched a handwritten manuscript in an envelope and placed it on the table, "A new piece I wrote last night."

"Wow, that's amazing, is it a violin piece?"

"Mmm."

"Where did you get the inspiration?"

Shu Jingzhi gazed at him seriously, "You."

Ying Ruoyun's hand trembled imperceptibly as he opened the envelope: "Well, thank you, it’s my pleasure."

As he read the score, Shu Jingzhi kept looking at him.

That kind of full attention gaze gave him a kind of, romantic illusion.

It was as if, as if he was special.

Shu Jingzhi asked, "How is it?"

"What? Great Genius Shu is asking for my opinion?"

"Your understanding and talent for music is no less than mine."

What a shocking evaluation, especially since the person who said it was Shu Jingzhi.

Ying Ruoyun couldn't help but let the corners of his mouth rise, "Senior, you're really good at complimenting people, I almost believed it."

"I wouldn't." Shu Jingzhi said, "I only state objective facts."

Ying Ruoyun's heart felt as if honey was pouring into it. He read the score carefully and said seriously, "This song gives me the feeling of an elf wandering in the rainy night, or a phoenix soaring on the concert stage."

"Why did you come up with two different images?"

"Because its melody speaks to me in such a spiralling way."

"Good." Shu Jingzhi said, "The spirit of the rainy night is you, and so is the soaring phoenix."

"Can you play it?"

"Now?"

"Mmm, now." Ying Ruoyun looked at the man before him, "I already have a picture in my head and am about to connect them. The melody rises and falls, the overlapping of imagery, a more perfect layer of embellishment is needed, and I need inspiration. I need you... to play it, as you need me."

Shu Jingzhi fetched his own instrument and in the quiet of the morning, the melody leapt and soared.

"Stop!" Ying Ruoyun suddenly stood up from the table: "This melody, repeat it again."

Shu Jingzhi played as he was told.

"I understand," Ying Ruoyun's eyes seemed to ignite with fire: "I need a pen and paper."

Shu Jingzhi handed him a pen: "Just revise it on my manuscript."

It was like adding the finishing touches, or a delicate brushstroke, a masterful hand, just a slight modification and it would break through the wall. The two strands of imagery merged together, and the spirit that wandered in the rain finally became a phoenix, soaring high above the stage.

It was so heart-stirring and refreshing that Ying Ruoyun almost burst into tears.

"Ruoyun," Shu Jingzhi said, "play it for me, now, will you?"

When Ying Ruoyun went to get his own violin, Shu Jingzhi said, "Use mine."

Ying Ruoyun looked at him incredulously; this was Shu Jingzhi, who had an obsession with cleanliness.

The love of music brought them together, and the pursuit of music brought them to know each other.

Ying Ruoyun, who was immersed in the music, thought that what he had known and felt earlier was absolutely right.

He was not himself, but since he met Shu Jingzhi, Ying Ruoyun was Ying Ruoyun.

"Your performance was excellent."

Putting the violin aside, Ying Ruoyun hugged him tightly. Even if he couldn't respond to him, even if he couldn't belong to him, even if it was just a moment of warmth, he would be happy with it.

Shu Jingzhi, Shu Jingzhi, Shu Jingzhi.

Ying Ruoyun called his name over and over again in his heart, as if his soul, his heart, was deeply imprinted with the taste of this crazy infatuation.

"This composition," Shu Jingzhi said, "I want to give it to you."

With his warm breath in her ears, Ying Ruoyun's heart beat fast: "Thank you."

"In exchange, at the end of this month, you will play with me at my solo recital."

"Okay."

"Ying Ruoyun, how much longer do you want to hug?"

"Senior..." Ying Ruoyun whispered, "Just a little longer, okay?"