Chapter 165 Then What About Me?

Life seemed to have drained out of Paulina as she found her way to the courtyard. She had been stupid. She had been so stupid. How could she not have recognized her mistress? How could she have doubted it the entire time?

"You finally believe me?" Her mistress had said when she asked her who she was. Or maybe it wasn't right to call her her mistress now. She was Alicia. Alicia Queen.

"You... really aren't... my mistress?" Paulina had asked, dread filling her. When Alicia tried to touch her to help her sit down, Paulina unconsciously moved away from her touch and saw a flash of hurt in Alicia's eyes.

She could not process this. She thought back to the moment she noticed the changes in her. It was after she woke up from unconsciousness. She had tried to convince her and Madam Grace that she wasn't Princess Amber, but they had thought she was crazy. She remembered how she kept trying to run away, how she suddenly turned talkative, how she was suddenly friendly and always stood up for people. All the time she talked about Princess Amber as if she was talking about someone else. How she had fearlessly jumped into the lake to bathe, and now, cooking these dishes, she could swear that Princess Amber had never seen before in her life.

Was she crazy to believe Alicia was telling the truth? And the worst part was that it seemed like Prince Harold already knew. Because she remembered how he had interrogated her, asking her questions about Princess Amber's attitude before and after she fell into the river. How come she hadn't believed it then but someone who had just met her seemed to know?

"How? How did this happen? What did you do?" Paulina asked accusingly, without meaning to.

Alicia shook her head, "I don't know what happened. I've been trying to go back to my body too, remember?" She asked, and Paulina nodded. At least she knew that was true. So that meant it wasn't Alicia's fault. That knowledge relieved her since she didn't know what she would have done to Alicia if she was responsible for her mistress's disappearance.

"W-What... about my... mistress? Where is she? Is she in your body too?" Paulina had asked with tears clouding her eyes. She had promised Queen Anne that she would take care of Princess Amber. She could not believe that her mistress had been gone for a long time and she didn't realize it. And she had even said she preferred her mistress now and even liked her more. How stupid had she been?

What could she do now? How was she going to stand looking at her mistress's body knowing that it was just a shell for someone else?

Inside her room, Alicia was thinking the same thing. When Paulina asked about her mistress, she had said, "I know this is hard for you to accept, and I'm sorry. I never wanted this either." Alicia said, looking guilty.

"I don't know where she is, just like I don't know what has happened to my body. And honestly, I wish I knew. Because then, I would be able to make a decision quickly." Alicia said with a heavy sigh before she looked at Paulina sadly.

She always knew that this day was going to come. The day would come when Paulina would realize that her mistress was gone and she was another person. And then the love and loyalty Paulina had for her were going to disappear like it was never there in the first place. This was her reality. No one was going to love her sincerely.

Paulina cried and shook her head. "I just... I feel guilty. I don't... don't know where my mistress is or if she is stuck somewhere and wants to return or if she is dead. How do I face her mother when I die?" She asked before breaking down into sobs while Alicia looked at her helplessly.

Alicia looked at her for a moment, thinking if she should tell her about the portrait. Maybe that would help her feel better. "The portrait you made of Queen Anne—that is what I look like," Alicia said, and Paulina looked at her in confusion.

"Queen Anne?"

Alicia nodded. "I don't know if it is related or not, but I'm still trying to find answers. I also noticed that I can fight with swords and daggers sometimes when I lose consciousness. It's either Queen Anne is also possessing this body, or it's Princess Amber. Because I can't do those things," she said, and for the first time, hope flashed through Paulina's eyes.

"That means she can still come back, right?" Paulina had asked hopefully.

Alicia smiled faintly at her, but through the smile, she was hiding the pain she felt. Of course, Paulina would want her mistress back and her, gone. It was normal.

"I don't think this is going to last forever. She will come back one day."

Paulina sniffed and nodded before leaving the room. Alicia tried to hold her back to comfort her, but she knew that Paulina wanted to be alone to think things through. Her attitude was justified. Queen Anne had saved her life and taken her in. She served Amber since they were both little and was even sent out in exile along with her. They had gone through a lot together for more than a decade, and now she had just found out that her mistress was nowhere to be found and she didn't have any idea how to go about looking.

This just confirms the theory. It wasn't the body that mattered. It was the soul. Even though this was Amber's body, it was Amber's soul that Paulina cared about.

She turned around when the door opened abruptly and an angry Harold entered before closing the door behind her. He glared at her, but his gaze immediately softened and turned to one of confusion when he saw her face.

It was only then that Alicia realized she had tears in her eyes and quickly cleaned them while sniffing.

"What happened to you?" He asked softly as he approached her and led her to the bed to sit down before he sat down beside her, still holding her hand.

"Paulina. She knows now." Alicia said, looking at him while trying to blink back tears.

Paulina was the reason she was crying? He mused in displeasure before asking, "She knows what?"

"About me not being Amber."

"Oh..." Harold drawled, not seeing the problem with it. If he didn't have a problem with it, then there was no problem with it.

"She didn't know earlier?" He asked and added, "I guess she is not very smart."

Alicia sighed tiredly and buried her face in her hands. "I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do now."

"What you're supposed to do about what?"

"She is not happy because I am not her mistress," Alicia reminded him. "She has been following me blindly for a while, and I even brought her here! Now I feel I owe it to her to find a way to get back her mistress for her."

Harold's hand fisted beside him, and he tried to not snap at her. "Why do you care about Paulina so much?" He asked, almost sounding bitter.

"I... have never had anyone treat me so well without expecting anything in retur—"

"Then what about me?" He interrupted, causing her to look up at him. "Everything I have done for you, I have never done for anyone before, and I've never asked anything from you in return apart from you remaining with me." He reminded her as calmly as he could.

The two stared at each other for a long time before she stood up from the bed and turned her back to him as she went to stand by the window, "I met Sir Harvey a while ago."