Chapter 175 No What-Ifs

Alicia's mouth felt dry as she looked at Harold. She didn't know what to say to him. Was she to tell him that she kind of liked him already and that he already kind of had her heart? Or was she supposed to turn down his request? Looking at him, she could tell that it hadn't been easy for him to say that to her. A man like Harold was used to taking and not asking.

"Say something," Harold said quietly when she just kept looking at him without saying a word.

Alicia's thoughts were correct. His kind were not used to asking, unless they were asking those superior to them in terms of rank or position. Especially an Alpha such as himself. Maybe it was because of what his mother had gone through that he was trying not to be anything like his father and not trying to impose anything on her.

"Uhm... Why?" Alicia asked in confusion. Even if they hadn't exactly spelt out whatever was happening between them, they were already sharing a bed and had even kissed each other, right?

"Why? Aren't you supposed to say something?" He asked in confusion.

"No. I mean... why are you asking me that? We... are already kind of in that stage... I guess?" She said this awkwardly and began silently praying for this topic to end soon. Because at this point, she could not lie and promise him anything.

"If you are mine, you won't leave me."

'I won't allow it.' Harold chose to be entirely honest with her, but he said the last part in his head. He didn't want to forcefully keep her against her will or use trickery. He wanted her to want to stay because she loved him. Because she wanted to be with him. Was that too much to ask?

Hearing that made her heart break for him. He sounded like a kid that was scared of losing his mother, and she felt sad for him. She wanted to say yes. Wanted to embrace him and promise him she was always going to be here. But could she?

Her future was uncertain. She didn't know when something would happen and she would have to disappear from here. What was he going to do then?

"Do you... love me?" Alicia asked after a moment, even though she already suspected that he did. Although all his actions thus far showed that he loved her, he had never voiced it out. And maybe, just maybe, she wanted to hear him say the words to her.

Harold looked into her eyes, knowing that his response was important to her. As much as he hated to reveal his feelings to others, he didn't want to lie to her about his feelings for her, so he nodded gently.

He had never been so glad that she wasn't a werewolf. Because she would have taken note of his pheromones that were everywhere in the room because of how nervous and uncomfortable he was with this kind of topic.

"You... annoy me more than anyone else, but you... are the only one that makes me happy." He said honestly.

His soft gaze and words made her heart jitter, and she was torn between keeping her gaze on him and breaking eye contact because of how her heart was hurting at the mere thought of their uncertain future.

However, he wasn't making things easy for her because he decided to pour it out and let her know how he felt honestly.

"You make me look forward to each day. Before you came, I was merely existing, but now I'm actually living, and it's because of you. I don't want to ever lose you, Alicia," Harold said, and tears gathered in Alicia's eyes when she saw the sincerity in his eyes as he spoke.

"I know it is difficult. Being in a strange place. Meeting strange people and living by strange rules. But I am here. You have my word." He promised.

No one had ever said such words to her. She had never meant this much to anyone before, and she was amazed because he meant that much to her too. She doubted that if she ever returned to her life with these memories, her life would be meaningful again without Harold.

"Will you be mine? Will you give your heart to me? I will do all I can to make you happy here," Harold promised as he watched the flicker of different emotions in her eyes as she looked back at him.

She raised her face to look up, trying not to let any tears fall.

"But... What if..."

"I don't care about the what-ifs." He interrupted her, knowing what she was going to talk about. It wasn't as if he wasn't scared too. If they were fighting a physical battle, it would have been a whole lot different. But this... he feared the unknown. Because he didn't know what to expect about this strange soul swap.

"It is you. I care about you. This moment with you," Harold said as he inched closer to her, and then he reached for her hair and tugged off the band that was holding it in place, making her long hair tumble down in curls around her shoulders.

"Harold... W-What are... y-you doing?" Alicia asked in a breathless whisper.

"I told you. I want to make you mine. I want you," Harold breathed, looking into her eyes with hungry eyes that made butterflies flutter in her stomach.

"B-But we... are still talking," she managed to say weakly, unable to break her gaze from his. She knew she should probably push him away and run in the opposite direction, but she couldn't bring herself to move. She was enthralled by the look in his eyes.

"I'm tired of talking. We can talk later. You don't have to give me an answer now. You can think about it. But don't ever tell me you still think of me as your brother. My only sister is Tyra," Harold said, his voice a husky whisper that made her stomach jitter with repressed longing.

"Harold..." Alicia protested weakly, and whatever she was going to say deserted her, and she gulped air when he brushed his knuckles over her jaw.

"If you can't love me yet, what about desiring me? Do you not want me?" He asked in a very gentle voice that told her if she said she didn't, he wouldn't force her.

He was giving her a chance to give herself to him. She could either halt whatever was happening right now between them before it went too far, or she could just seize the moment and go with the flow. Why should she deny herself the love she had been missing her entire life?

Harold watched her as she considered his question. He knew that she wanted him too. At least that was what the kiss they had shared earlier that day told him. He was tired of waiting. He wanted her, and he wanted her to want him too.