CH 8

Chapter 8 – Yandere and Popularity

Strange. This is strange no matter how I think about it.

It’s been three years since I started college and I still don’t have a single flirty story to tell. It wasn’t supposed to be like this. In the future I had envisioned when I was in high school, I would have become somewhat good friends with a slightly nihilistic girl I met in a club, and we would skip lectures and go back and forth to each other’s places, laughing about how our credits were in trouble…

“Good morning, senpai. It’s another beautiful day, isn’t it? By the way, I heard that today is a great day to get married. It’s a perfect day for us to get married, don’t you think? The witness box is already filled in, so all that’s left is for senpai to sign the document and the two of us will be a married couple. Student marriages are rare nowadays, but I don’t think there’s any harm in getting married as soon as possible. Of course, I wouldn’t mind moving in together right now, but it would take a lot of time to move and all that. Why don’t we just prepare a written document for now? Hey senpai, don’t ignore me. Hey~…”

How is it that I haven’t had a harvest in over two years, except for some crazy woman coming on to me? It’s strange. It’s really strange.

> < > < > < > < > <

“Eh? A girlfriend!? You want a girlfriend!?”

Moroboshi, who is usually absentminded, raised his voice unusually loudly.

“That’s right. I’m a healthy college student.”

“But you don’t usually give off that vibe at all. You’re even cold to Tsubaki.”

“Well, that’s because she doesn’t count as the opposite s*x. But why can’t I get a girlfriend?”

“Well that’s… The point is that you didn’t look for a girlfriend with much enthusiasm. Besides…”

“What?”

As Moroboshi squirmed his chin, Tsubaki grinned and waved at me.

> < > < > < > < > <

“Oi, you Tsubaki, come here for a second.”

“Eh, what is it, senpai? What are you doing, luring me to such a deserted place?”

My voice had a hint of anger in it, but Tsubaki is just laughing without a care in the world. Her laugh is as annoying as ever.

“You didn’t threaten any of the women I’ve talked to, did you?”

“I wonder.”

“If that’s the case, I’ll turn you to the police right now. I’m not going to tolerate that.”

“What’s going on all of a sudden?”

“No, it’s just that… It seems like you’re the reason I can’t get a girlfriend.”

“So you think that if it weren’t for me, you would be living a life like Hikaru Genji, switching from one woman to another. Is that it?” (T/N: The protagonist of Japanese Novel “The Tale of Genji”)

“No, not that far…”

“You mean to tell me that it’s my fault that senpai spends lonely nights alone without his girlfriend, and not because of any problem with himself?”

“The way you put it… You… Do you really like me? Don’t you actually hate me?”

“I love you.”

“Stop creeping me out.”

Somehow, Tsubaki really didn’t seem to have done anything extra on this matter. So does that mean I’m simply not popular? That’s shocking… Hmm.

“I too have wondered why so few people court senpai. Even though he’s such a wonderful person.”

“I hate to ask this, but… What do you like about me, Tsubaki?”

“Your face.”

“Eh?”

“I like your face…”

“You’ve been stalking me all this time for such a stupid reason?”

“Of course I like your personality, your tastes, your hobbies, your way of life, but it’s your face that was the trigger. There is no doubt about that.”

Is that so… Am I surprisingly good-looking? I’ve never been told that in my life…

“You see, you look like a weasel, you know, senpai? I like weasels. They’re so adorable.”

“So you really hate me, don’t you? You think I’m a complete idiot?”

“I love you~”

“Disgusting!”

What’s strange is that Tsubaki is grinning and smiling in a sickening way. Whatever my reaction to her words is, she seems to enjoy it. She’s a real pain in the a*s.

But if it’s not Tsubaki’s fault that I don’t have a girlfriend, does that mean I’m the problem? That’s pretty depressing.

“Don’t be discouraged, senpai. I don’t care if you are not popular.”

“Why are you always digging at my wounds? You don’t like me after all, do you?”

“Fufufu…”

Tsubaki laughed, as if she was really enjoying herself. I’m angry and sickened, but since she thinks so much of me, it would be wrong of me to be so cold to her. However, if I were to be born again, I would like to be liked by a better person…

> < > < > < > < > <

“Ah, that guy.”

“Yuka, what’s wrong? Do you know him?”

“Isn’t that Takenaga-san, a third-year student in the Education Department? Look, he has a weasel-like face.”

“Ah, that ‘husband’.”

“That’s right. ‘Honjo Tsubaki’s husband’. He doesn’t have a bad face, and he probably has a good personality, but… Seeing as how he takes Honjo Tsubaki’s ramblings seriously every time, he must be a bit of an oddball.”

“Yeah. They seem to get along with each other for what it’s worth, and no one would even think of intruding.”

“I guess.”

> < > < > < > < > <

After separating from Tsubaki, Moroboshi appeared quietly from behind me. When I turned around, he was looking at me with a somewhat pitying gaze. Was it pity for my unattractiveness?

“What’s the matter, Moroboshi? You came to laugh at my misery?”

“No, I mean… It’s a loss to be so well taken care of, isn’t it?”

“What’s the matter with you all of a sudden?”

“Don’t worry about it.”

After saying that, Moroboshi left in a huff. I’m surrounded by a bunch of weirdos, I tell you.