"Wade Wilson, Deacon Gunda, attack!"
He didn't know what dirty things were attached to him. He first uttered the lines of shame, and then imitated the "wheezing" sound of flying, and rushed out of the shelter with two legs.
The river was still so calm that wade ran and jumped into it. He was going to wade through it.
In the ideal plan, he will compare the middle finger to bear, the other party will be very angry, and therefore will rush to him.
In this way, if both sides are running, they should meet in the middle of the river. When they have a sliding shovel, the blood and viscera in the bear's belly will be taken away by the running water, and their new clothes will not be dirty.
Perfect plan.
But if there is no plot rationality gem, many things will not be transferred by his subjective consciousness.
"Go! Kill! Gululu... "
he took a dagger in his right hand, and his left hand was out of the middle finger. He rushed to the opposite side of the river with a loud cry, and then he sank.
The river was much deeper than he thought, and went straight over his head, leaving only a string of bubbles rising from below.
On the other side of the river, the bear scratched his ears and turned his head to look at this side. His eyes were confused. He seemed to have heard something and felt a kind of inexplicable anger.
But how come you didn't pinch anything?
Come on, let's take a look at these fish and choose a fatter one.
Su Ming, who was still hiding in the Bush behind Wade, sighed. He knew that his cousin would be like this. But it doesn't matter. It's OK to run across the river. Diving and swimming are compulsory lessons for mercenaries anyway.
But is the valet really what he thinks?
In fact, it's not the same. Wade emerges from the water in the middle of the river. He takes the classic posture of Marilyn Monroe and jumps into the water ballet like a lotus.
One is the upper body wriggling back and forth, and the other is the legs coming out of the water and rotating back and forth. Even through the red and black mask, you can see his face with a professional athlete's fake smile.
"Wade?"
Su Ming crooked his head and called, feeling tired.
"Oh
My cousin actually heard that. He seemed to suddenly think of his current task and began to swim to the brown bear.
When he climbed up the opposite river bank with a dagger in his mouth, he shook his butt like a wild dog to shake off the water stains. The water drops in the sun formed a rainbow.
But the brown bear didn't cooperate at all. Instead of rushing at him, he stood up warily.
That's what wildlife is like. Many species stand upright to increase their visual cross-sectional area and make them look bigger, which can scare off many enemies.
Although the Chamberlain was washed clean last night, it was true that, as the night passed, his rotting body was emitting all kinds of delicate fragrance.
Bears generally have a super sensitive sense of smell, among which polar bears are the best. They are seven times as olfactory as dogs. They can smell the bloody smell 10 kilometers away in the complex environment of wind and snow, while the North American brown bear can smell the honey sweetness three kilometers away.
The brown bear who is preparing to eat meets a valet. Can you make this kind of thing close to him?
Seeing that the brown bear did not move, Wade did not intend to change his plan. In any case, according to the theory of relativity, as long as he accelerated, the other party slowed down.
So the valedictorian charged, and with a sledgehammer on the gravel beach, he cut the eggs off with a knife as he passed between the bear's upright legs.
"Ouch
The trees were full of birds, and after the injury, the crazy brown bear and the damned human fight together.
The next second is blood.
In the end, Wade was torn off his arms, but he stabbed the brown bear in his mouth with a dagger between his feet, destroying his brain and killing it.
Smelling the beast's peculiar odor, he told himself jokes to the nonexistent audience, leaned over the bear's body, and tried to put his foot in his arm again.
Su Ming came and helped him. He put the stapler on his shoulder a few times, helping to fix his lost arms.
The self-healing speed of the death attendant is also like a joke. Sometimes, he can fight and let the enemy pull out his arms one by one. But sometimes self-healing is very slow, broken arm to two or three days to grow out.
Ghost knows why, it may have something to do with his own mood.
"Not bad, at least the self-healing ability is very good."
Wade stood up and tried to move his arms. Everything was fine except for a little blood oozing from the creaky pit. He took out the dagger in the bear's mouth, put his hands on his hips and put his feet on the bear's head:
"cousin, please take a picture for me. I'll go back and give it to Vanessa... Forget it, I can't show it to her."
With that, he withered again. Although he was not dead, how could he go back to see her?"What if she doesn't love me when she sees me as I am now?"
But my cousin seemed to have been prepared. He threw the stapler he had just nailed to his arm. "It's very simple. Let's go to Marguerite's bar first. You can get the surveillance video there, find your beautiful picture in the past, print it out and pin it on your forehead."
"Good idea!" Wade's eyes lit up in an instant. He took a knife and cut off one of the brown bear's legs. He resisted on his shoulder: "what are we waiting for? I know a good cobbler in New York, and I'll take this leg for him to make a pair of leather underpants for the next swim
when they arrived at the Margarita sisters' bar, it was not surprising that it was evening. Wade spent too much time with the cobbler because the other side said that tanning leather took time, and wade kept talking about it.
After leaving the leather store, the brothers went to ALF's house again. Wade told the blind black lady about his recent experience, and asked her to inquire about a pervert named Francis if she knew anyone on the road.
Ah Fu is actually very enthusiastic, especially after knowing that Wade's companion is the death knell, she began to inquire about the captain of the United States and took out his precious "white face" to invite him to smoke.
Su Ming doesn't touch those things. As a tactician, he needs to keep his head clear all the time. He can't play with anesthetics and hallucinogens.
After eating popcorn for a while in the basement, Wade took out a game console and plugged it into the TV to play. He said he had a dream since childhood, that is, to play games with his relatives.
Seeing that he was so poor, Su Ming accompanied him to play a tank battle all afternoon. After night fell, they ate microwave bear legs and came to the bar.
When he opened the door, Wade found that the atmosphere was not the same as before. Every proud mercenary actually gave him a way.
He looks who, the other side always lowers his head to avoid.
At first, he also listened to the rumors in the live room, thinking that he really had the ability of tiger body shaking, domineering and side leaking, which was called "overlord color domineering".
But later found that these people are not afraid of him, but afraid of walking around the death knell.
The black and yellow armor had only one master, and even no one dared to pretend to be. Anyone was afraid of the legend of mercenaries.
After all, this is a profession of respecting the old and loving the young. Every successful mercenary is a star who is held up by other people's flesh and blood and life.
When they came to the bar, the weasel shrank in a corner, shivering and muttering, "can't see me, can't see me."
But Wade stretched out his hand on the bar, grabbed his collar and pulled the man out. He sat on the bench like a horse stance, with his mouth crooked and a proud smile:
"guess who I am?"
"Wade? I can hear your bitches' voice even if they are washed into the sewers. Alas, you've done me a lot of harm...
the weasel was stunned at first, then laughed bitterly and vomited bitterly.
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