CH 96

Chapter 96: Hero

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Somehow, me and Killa managed to go into the mating room and were about to start our deed. And yet, the Hero’s son was hanging its head lifelessly. Remaining limp despite my best effort.

Umm… Well… What should I do now?

“Killa onii-chan…”

“Uuuugh….”

Even though Killa had done his best during the negotiation (mainly about the circumstances of the lower half of his body) in order to be able to do it. Killa could do nothing but hang his head down in regret.

“I knew it. I look like a mediocre boy at best so you can’t get it up…”

“NO!!! THAT’S NOT IT!! USUALLY I CAN BECOME FULLY ERECTED IN FIVE SECONDS JUST BY IMAGINING MAO-KUN!!!”

“Getting erect in five seconds is sick… Killa onii-chan…”

“That’s why I asked you to call me onii-chan just like you used to do when you’re Mao-kun. I even had you wear the usual outfit…”

So that was why he was being so demanding like we were in a The Restaurant of Many Orders. I thought this was all about his perverted preferences.

If he could usually get erect then the problem must be in his mental state… The cause of this must be that. I couldn’t think about anything else other than that.

“Because I’m a Maou… So your body unconsciously rejects me…”

If that was the case, Killa would keep on rejecting me since I couldn’t stop being a Maou.

“That’s not true! Well I did fall into despair when I found out Mao-kun is a Maou but… But, the fact that you didn’t even hesitate to use your own head as a bargaining chip to protect the demonkind… And how proud you are as you talked about your castle that you specifically designed in order to prevent any demon from getting hurt… It really showed your true personality. And that… You… You are so pure…”

The hands that were covering his face suddenly went onto my shoulder, he was staring straight into my eyes as he vehemently denied my accusation. 

“Even when I was confused and kept on blurting what was on my heart, I still got an erection when I was kneeling down before!!!!”

“Ah, yeah.”

I’m glad he doesn’t reject me because I’m a Maou but to be honest, I really don’t need to know about that part. 

“Huh? Now that I think about it, when I was talking to you as the Hero and Maou, I remember accidentally speaking what was on my mind but somehow we could still converse like normal…?”

“….. Sorry, Killa onii-chan. Sometimes I can hear the voice of onii-chan’s heart…”

“Sometimes…. Could it be… That means… When I confront you as Hero and Maou… That’s not the first time you could hear my heart….?”

“Ever since I met you in the town…. Sorry….”

“………”

Ah… Killa is covering his face again. If I’m going to negotiate with him, it’s better to keep this fact away from him but still, I think it wouldn’t be fair if I didn’t tell him that I can read his mind, right? He might hate me if he knew but I guess it can’t be helped. Ahhh….

“….. To be honest….”

“Yeah… Of course you will hate me for it…”

“…………………I’m aroused.”

“Huh?”

Killatur was still covering his face but through the gap between his fingers, I could clearly see he was flushed bright red. 

“When I met you, my mind was bursting from all the wild imaginations I had about you. Right on the bat, I was thinking of wanting to lick Mao-kun all over but despite knowing all that… No, you already found out about my imaginations from the start but you still continued to meet me ever since that means you’ve accepted me as it is, right?!”

“It’s not that I completely accept all of you but it’s more like… Ah, so Killa onii-chan is this kind of person… You know.”

“An angel? AN ANGEL HAS DESCENDED!!?? How precious…. THIS MOMENT IS SO PRECIOUS I JUST WANT TO LOCK YOU UP….!!!!”

“But Killa onii-chan, don’t you find it unpleasant? I can read your mind, you know?”

“Oh no. Now that I know I’m allowed to let out all of my overflowing passion and shower you with it, I think I’m going to have another nosebleed.”

“Don’t let it out and don’t have another nosebleed.”

Huh. So it’s not like he can’t get it up because I’m Maou. I wonder why then? In the first place, since when he couldn’t get it up? Nah. Thinking about that kind of question is extremely weird in the first place instead.

“Maybe… Killa onii-chan can’t get it up after we finished our conversation about breaking the negative chain………”

“When we were talking about passing it onto the next generation…”

“When Killa onii-chan’s emotion was shaken to the point of tears while we were talking about getting rid of the next Hero and Maou’s reason for existing…?”

At that instance, Killa stopped covering his face. With a thoughtful expression on his face, deep despair flashed in his eyes for a moment.

“Onii-chan. Does denying the existence of a Hero have some sort of effect on you…?”

“My heart does shake when I think about a world in the distant future where they won’t be needing any Maou or Hero. I can clearly see we can save the future that way but… At that time, I was feeling deeply relieved and….”

Killa still wasn’t able to sort his thoughts together yet. He pondered, searching through his heart before he continued.

“Jealousy…”

The feeling of deep jealousy shown in Killa’s face. 

“I… At that time… I felt relieved because I won’t have to impose this duty on the next Hero in the future…. But at the same time… When I think that the next Hero can be allowed to exist without being born as the Hero…. I felt jealous.”

“Killa onii-chan.”

Maybe this is the trigger. This is the key to the Hero’s psychological erectile dysfunction.

“Onii-chan. What is a ‘Hero’? What does being a Hero mean to you, onii-chan?”

With his face void of any emotions, Killa stared at nothing with blank eyes. It was as if his previous face, which was full of expression and life was nothing but a mirage. 

“For me, being a Hero is a curse.”

Chosen by God. Blessed by the spirits. Saviour of humankind. The strongest Hero in history who vanquished the demon, killed the Maou and is respected by all nations in this world. 

In most fairy tales, the Hero who saved the world would receive their happy ending. Respected and loved by the people. But… Killa did not look happy in the slightest. 

“Mao-kun, you know. A Hero is really chosen out of the blue.”

And so, Killa spoke. He told me about the life of a Hero. 

“My family are just ordinary lumberjacks. Even if I trace far back in the past, none of my ancestors was ever born as a Hero. Out of the blue, I was the only one who was born as a Hero. Of course, both of my parents were happy at first. Of course they were happy to know their son was born as a Hero and so, they raised me as a Hero…”

“Onii-chan….”

“They are not bad people. They are actually good people with strong faith, you know. If I wasn’t born as a Hero, I’m sure they would raise me in a loving and tender household. They just couldn’t love me, who was born as Hero as they would to a normal child…. I was five years old when I was told to save the villagers who were attacked by a lizardman. Then… I think I was seven years old when I was told to defeat a pack of orcs. I…. I once naively believed if I worked hard and became strong as a Hero, I too would receive a shoulder carry like and be taken to their workplace just like any other children.”

But, Killa’s expression became even more crooked.

“Having a son who was abnormally strong must’ve made them uncomfortable. They stopped providing me with a meal. But I still did my best and so did my parents. They turned their feeling of heresy into a faith toward the Hero. Their disgust into worship. Of course that too, was directed toward me. I… I didn’t want them to look at me in that way. I… I wished my own parents would see me as Killatur. I wished they would see me as their own children. But… The stronger I became, the more useful I became, the more distant we became. And so I realised all of those were just wishful thinking on my part. I think I had thrown away all of my naive hope toward my parents in the midst of it all. Looking back, I guess I was afraid to admit that they never saw me as their child. I was just trying to convince myself I was better off alone.”

“Killa onii-chan…”

Couldn’t hold myself back, I hugged Killa tightly. But my body was too small compared to him so it looked like I was latching onto him. 

“But I was still feeling fine when I had the objective of defeating the Maou. The more I defeated the demon, the more people around me recognized me. I felt needed. Oh, but I guess you must be offended to hear that? Since you’re on the demon side…”

“No, no. It’s fine. Go on.”

“When I was 13 years old… Maou appeared and… I defeated him in an instant…. I fell into despair because of that. You must be wondering why, huh? I’ve fulfilled my most primal vow as a Hero. I’ve saved the world, fulfilling my most cherished desire as a Hero. If those things were true, then I should’ve felt a great sense of accomplishment but instead… I fell into despair. Because I thought my sole reason for existing had disappeared.”

Killa’s arms, which had been hanging listless beside him, started to encircle around me. He then hugged me back tightly. 

“I’m disgusting, right? Now you know I’m that kind of person. I fought because I wanted my existence to be recognized, instead of genuinely feeling happy to be able to save someone else. After fulfilling my duty as the Hero and receiving the reward from the country, I could’ve returned to my parents’ house in the countryside. I was only 13 years old at that time. Driven by frustration, I went on trying to find my reason to live in the world of a grown man.”

Though stifled, Killa laughed self-deprecatingly.

“Humans are really disgusting. Having an abnormal strength that no one could control was heresy. Some nobles then became afraid that the hostility I had directed at demonkind would then be shifted toward them. That was why I had to constantly prove myself to them. I had to show them I was a useful and convenient tool that wouldn’t betray them. I was a Hero that they could use. Even when they pushed me to defeat the demon in another country, even when there was an eyewitness of a young demon, I continued to kill them all. By killing the demon, I wanted to show that despite already fulfilling my duty as a Hero, I could still be useful. I still wanted to be recognized.”

Who would’ve thought a perverted Hero with a wild imagination like him held such a deep and profound despair. The endless loneliness of the strongest Hero. He couldn’t stop other people from seeing him as anything but 『Hero』… He craved to have a reason to live. 

“Killa onii-chan, do you really detest humans?”

No. That’s not it. That question is not correct.

“Do you… Really hate yourself?”

His hands, which were hugging me tightly, became even tighter. 

“Hahaha. I loathe myself. I’m a despicable person who raised the flag for the world but in the end, my only motivation was to find my own reason to live. I hate myself so much I wished I could kill myself. I think I was about 18 years old. I had killed demons after demons. I kept on killing, killing and killing then I… I grew tired and sick of being covered in blood. I thought to myself, “let’s end this” and so, I tried to sever my own neck. But.. No matter how many times I tried… The spirits would bring me back to life the moment before I actually died. I thought maybe I wasn’t allowed to take my own life after I had sacrificed countless lives. And so, I ended up giving up trying to kill myself.”

Killa stared at me then he jokingly added.

“Being loved by the spirits is not that easy, you know.”

He laughed deprecatingly again. 

“Onii-chan…”

“That’s why, being a Hero chosen by God and loved by the spirits is… A curse. But still, being a Hero is the only proof I was allowed to live in this world. If I had no reason to live, nothing to prove then… I’d become nothing but a brainless monster….. I felt relieved that the future Hero won’t have to bear the same curse but at the same time… I felt jealous because they’re allowed to live in this world without that curse too.”

Maybe the Hero… Killatur… Maybe he was the same as me? Someone who was being swept up in this world? Someone like me, who was chosen by God regardless of our own will. 

“But… I’m fine. I have Mao-kun. I can do lewd stuff with Mao-kun and give birth to a child who will become a bridge for the next generation. Even if I’m needed as a Hero, I’m still needed by Mao-kun so ――”

“You’re wrong!!!”

“―― I’m fine with it. What’s wrong?”

“Allow me to make a correction there!!”

“You mean the part where ‘Mao-kun needs me’…? I think I will fall into another despair if you do but…”

AAAAAHHHH!! The psychological factor!!! That’s it!! That’s what making him all depressed!!!!

I accidentally reverted to my normal way of talking instead of Mao’s way of talking. 

“No! Not that part!! Killa, when I talked with you today, did you talk as a Hero? The one who I want to have a child with is you, Killa. Of course you’re still a Hero but that’s not all there is to it! I don’t want any other Hero! I want to have a child with you because you are you, Killatur!!”

“Huh? But the Hero thing…. Huh? Now that I think about it again.. Mao-kun… You never… Said that…”

“Geeeeezzzz!! I’ve been saying that all long, haven’t I?! Killa, Killatur!! I always say that!! How come you don’t understand?!”

“Eh… Ah… Yeah… You always… Call me… By my name….”

Remembering about our conversation today, colour began to return to Killa’s face who had been looking all despondent. His face was now painted in a deep red colour.

“Uwah… Yeah. You always… Address me by my name. You never addressed me by my title.”

“I know, right??? You know, I… Even though you’re the strongest Hero, you’re still a pervert. Your pervertness is simply unparalleled. Killatur you, you’re so perverted that even the demons felt thrown off at you. But still! That’s the one I want! I don’t want any other Hero! I want you because you are Killatur. I want to have children with you not because you are a Hero. Sure, you’re a pervert but you also noticed how crooked this world is. You accepted my offer to have a dialogue along with other demons. That’s the kind of person, the Killa that I want to have children with!!”

“Because I’m… Me…?”

Killatur was flushed bright red, it was as if a steam could come out of his face. 

“Uwah… I… That… Because I… I don’t have any value other than being a Hero… I only have my strength and nothing else….”

“You’re enough.”

“I’m despicable… I hate myself and… I think I don’t care about anything else but Mao-kun. Be that the God, other humans, the world, the demons or even the spirit, I don’t care about them in the slightest. I’m someone who only cares about finding my reason to live.”

“We’re all the same though.”

“I have a strong libido and I know for sure I’m as perverted as everyone else makes me to be.”

“You’re undoubtedly a pervert.”

“Ah! But I sometimes donate to orphanages and such so I think I’m kind to children.”

“It’s good to be kind to children.”

Maybe because Killatur had to grow up without being allowed to enjoy his childhood,so he wanted children to be able to have their childhood properly. 

“I… Am I… Allowed to exist as it is…? Even though I’m a Hero… Can I really abandon my duty as a Hero….?”

“Are you wondering if it’s alright for you to help the Maou?”

“If I betrayed the humans… I.. I already killed all demons until almost no one survives… I’ve driven demonkind to the point of extinction and in addition… I did all that just because I wanted to prove myself… Just because of myself… After doing all that.. Can I… With demons this late in the game…”

His face, which had been flushed red now turned sullen again. 

Ahhh… Geez… He keeps on thinking in circles…

I held him tightly and gently patted his back. 

“Killa. My counterpart. My other half. Toyed by the world, chosen by God even though you didn’t want to. Even if you’re hated by the humans, even if the spirits shunned you, even if the demons detested you…. And… Even if no one needs you….”

Killa trembled, as if he was frightened at the very thought. 

“Despite it all, I will still need you. No matter who hates you. Even if you can’t forgive yourself, even if you wish to erase your very own existence, I will always… Always… Love you.”

“Even if I’m not a Hero anymore…?”

Killa whispered. There was a slight tremble in his voice, as if he was lost and frightened. 

“Even if you’re not a Hero anymore. I will continue to love you, Killatur.”

Drip by drip, his tears dropped onto my hair. 

Really… This man is… He’s a deplorable pervert who keeps on interrupting me when I’m trying to have a serious conversation. He’s very high spec. The strongest hero, a handsome man but despite all that positive trait, he’s a degenerate. But even his atrocious, corrupted mind and troublesome parts… I will take all of it. I will love all of it. 

“Mao-…. -kun… Mao-kun…. Mao-kun Mao-kun Mao-kun…..”

“Can’t be helped…. Killa onii-chan…. We’re already destined together the moment I met you, Killa onii-chan. I will give my name, Mao, to Killa onii-chan. I can’t give you Maou because Maou belongs to the demons but the name Mao was born after I met Killa onii-chan. I will especially give Mao to you, Killa onii-chan.”

Other demons have their own personalised name. Only Maou the only existence that didn’t have their own personalised name.

That’s why…

I will give this troublesome man my name, Mao. 

“Mao-kun…!!! Mao-kun Mao-kun…. Haaahhhh… Haaahhhhh… Haaahhhh… MAO-KUN HAAHHH…. HAHHHH…”

“Wha- Can you stop breathing so hard all of a sudden?!”

This bulging, hard solid thing that was rubbing against my butt….

“My son is standing up…..!!!”

Can you stop saying it in the same intonation as the friend of that certain wheelchair bound girl from the alpine?!

For the time being, it seemed Killa’s son (who resided in his lower half) was safe and well. 

I’m glad for it. I’m truly happy but… That… CAN YOU STOP RUBBING IT AGAINST ME?! Hic-

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T/N: For you who’s not old enough, the author is referencing Heidi. ALSO!! This chapter makes me sobbbb!! The damage in Killa’s psychological side… HOW LOVING AND PURE OUR MAOU TOO AHHHH!!! (ಥ_ಥ)