CH 44

After they came out of the mansion where William had locked her up, Ezekiel put Herace in a fairly comfortable carriage. Worried about her son, Herace asked about Erzen hundreds of times, wanting to know if he was okay riding a wagon. But each time Ezekiel only lifted his brows and didn’t change his expression, even when she begged to see her son.

Eventually, Herace opened the running carriage door and made a fuss, saying she would only be with Erzen. At the risk of Herace’s life, Ezekael threw a shackle at her that she didn’t know where he got it from, and said in a cool voice.

“If you wear this on your own, you’ll be able to see your child three hours a day.”

“I’m not an animal. This is…”

“You have to choose. Do you want to see the kid or do you want to go the way it is? Don’t make another fuss. Do it one more time and I won’t let your son be treated by a doctor.”

He was a man who had Erzen in his grasp. So all Herace could do was nod. Herace felt the touch of cold metal around her ankles and blamed herself for not even being able to protect her child.

“No! I hate it, Mom! You’re always busy. You said you’d play with Erzen as much as I want after work this winter. You always lie to me. Hmph.”

Erzen, who did not know her mother’s feelings, burst into tears and struggled violently. Herace was embarrassed by the violent gesture of the child she had never seen before, and hugged the child in a hurry.

“Erzen? Erzen, don’t cry. It’s my fault. Don’t cry. Huh?”

“Mom, I hate you! I hate you!”

From Erzen’s point of view, this was natural. The child’s weak patience had long run out of many factors. The young and tender body was tense throughout due to various bumpy and unfamiliar carriage life, and his weak psychology was full of anxiety due to the sudden leaving of the familiar place and being separated from his mother.

Even at his mother’s desperate words, the child struggled with his arms and legs wildly and cried loudly before falling asleep.

“Erzen, don’t cry. Stop. I’m sorry. So don’t cry. Please…”

The end of Herace’s words continued hazily. She coaxed Erzen while weeping the tears around her eyes.

“Mom……uhmm.”

Erzen stopped crying after a long time. He seemed to have lost a lot of strength, and soon fell asleep. Dropping the tears that Herace had been enduring, she sobbed silently. In the meantime, the child did not let go of Herace’s collar as if he did not want to be separated. It’s so heartbreaking to hear his voice calling for his mother in his sleep. Herace hit herself on the chest again and again in a breathtaking pain.

How much time passed with Erzen in her arms? The sun began to set out of the carriage window. There was still a little time left before the sun was completely set, but Herace hugged her son tightly and kissed him on the soft cheek several times. She knew it just by looking at the direction of the shadow. It was soon time to part ways with Erzen.

Sure enough, the horses slowed their steps with the sound of a snort. The carriage seemed to slow down gradually, and soon stopped.

“We will take a break here!”

A familiar sound of footsteps was heard behind the shouts of the knights calling for rest, and it was cut off in front of the carriage door. When Herace saw the wagon door handle turning, she bowed her head and hugged Erzen tightly as if she didn’t want him to be taken away.

Creak.

When the carriage door opened, Ezekiel appeared. He stretched his hand forward as he looked at the sleeping child with cold eyes in Herace’s arms. Herace hesitated and hugged Erzen even harder, but soon relaxed and handed over her son to Ezekiel.

Ezekiel held the child much easier than Herace. However, he took care of the child clumsily, and did not seem to have any consideration for his well-being. He, who handled the child like a potato bag, turned around and handed Erzen over to Anna. Anna hugged Erzen and mouthed something to Herace.

Don’t worry.

It was the day after Herace was led into the carriage by Ezekiel that Anna was captured. She asked Ezekiel to let Anna go, but all she could get in return was another threat.

“If you’re talking about the girl who ran away with you, then shut up. Even so, I’m saving your child’s life. Do you want me to cut her throat right now?”

Herace, who was trapped in a carriage, could only see Anna for the time Erzen came and went. Herace smiled slightly at Anna. However, Anna, hidden by the man’s large body, seemed to disappear in an instant, and Ezekiel entered the carriage.

Gulp.

Herace swallowed her dry saliva at the sound of the carriage door closing tightly. The hardest part of the day was about to begin.

Ezekiel was with her from the time of Herace’s parting with Erzen until morning. She was suffering from insomnia the whole time because he didn’t leave Herace’s side even at bedtime. But what can I say? All she could do was stay still with her mouth closed.

“…….”

“…….”

Being together didn’t mean that Ezekiel asked for something. All he did was look at Herace gently or close his eyes. Of course, neither did Herace say something.

Although it was in the same silence, the attitudes of the two were clearly different. Unlike Ezekiel, who was leaning on his seat comfortably, Herace was very nervous under intense pressure from the suffocating atmosphere.

In particular, when Ezekiel stared at her clearly, Herace felt like her lungs were blocked and her breathing stopped. So when she was with Ezekiel, she always had her head bowed or turned away. Thanks to this, Herace couldn’t even groan because her neck hurt.

It was the same today. Ezekiel, sitting opposite Herace, took off the cloak he was wearing on the outside, put it down next to him, and looked at Herace without saying a word with his arms crossed. He, who seemed insensitive, but persistent, looked as if he was angry. Herace dropped her gaze and put her hand together without being able to face the eyes. She didn’t eat much, but she felt nauseous.

“Let’s go!”

So the few hours and the same minutes went by. After a short break, it was time for the carriage to move according to the knight’s cry. Ezekiel, who had not said anything, buried himself deeply in the soft wagon wall, put one leg on top of the other, suddenly laughed out loud and said.

“……someone will think I’m intimidating you.”

“…….”

“You haven’t talked to me for a week. How long do I have to wait? Do you have any intention of asking me for forgiveness?”

Herace raised her head at the unexpected remark. Forgiveness? What did I do wrong? Even though fear and reason prevailed and occupied her head, resentment and anger boiled deep in the heart. Herace responded coldly to Ezekiel’s words.

“……I did nothing wrong.”

As if the words were uncomfortable, Ezekiel’s eyebrows crumpled and his silver-colored eyebrows went up. Ezekiel straightened his back and leaned his upper body forward.

“You didn’t do anything wrong? Do you really think so? How many years do you think you have been outside of the castle?

“…….”

“Herace, do you know how much manpower and resources have been wasted because of you? Besides, I don’t have any self-… You deserve to be condemned at any moment.”

“Why don’t you punish me right now, thinking like that? Just slap me like you did back then. I’ll accept it without a word.”

Ezekiel felt joy instead of anger when her blue eyes stared at him as if she were stabbing him. When his wife’s eyes turned to him, he felt his fingertips tingling and finally confirmed him to be alive.

He let out a languid breath and burst into a calm laugh. However, the furious Herace burst out in emotion she had been suppressing for more than a week without even paying attention to Ezekiel’s laughter.

“I’m saying this because I’m confused…… I don’t understand. You don’t like me. You don’t consider Erzen your bloodline. Then why can’t you just leave us alone…… Why are you asking me to come? As you say, why are you wasting your manpower and money looking for me!”

“……I would have said it over and over again. Is your brain not working that much? You are mine. Something that is mine should always be next to me.”

Herace heard it over and over again, but it was an unpleasant answer as well as incomprehensible.

Herace felt suffocated and tried to raise her voice, but she held back and took a breath. She recited her son’s name in her mind and came down from her chair before kneeling in front of Ezekiel. She felt dizzy because she could feel the rattling floor of the wagon, but she wouldn’t have a chance to pluck up courage if it wasn’t now.

“……Then what are you going to do with me and Erzen? What are you trying to do?”

“…….”

“Let us go even now. I’m asking you, please.”

Ezekiel somehow thought his hands were empty. His former wife clung to his hand or collar whenever she pleaded before him. But how is she now? His wife would rather hold her hands together, rather than grabbing his hand. And was that it? His wife didn’t call his name even once after she was reunited with him.

That’s the name of the child. He heard her call that again and again and again. He was sure he got her back, but why does it feel like she was getting further away?

As Ezekiel’s patience began to turn thin rapidly, a strange madness crept out of him.

“It’s not up to you to decide. It’s up to me to decide what to do with you or your son. So don’t be presumptuous.”

“Your son….”

In the cold answer, Herace crumpled up her face and hung down her head at the certain words as if it were hard to bear. Soon she looked at Ezekiel with a grim look on her face as if she had made up her mind.

“Erzen is definitely my child. But your blood is also inherited. Why do you keep denying it?”

“…….”

“I wanted to ask you again and again before I left. Why did you suspect me? You’re the one who cheated. Why did you keep making me the cheating and unclean spouse?”

The blue eyes shone as if they were going to make a decision over the fear. Rather, it was Ezekiel whose eyes shook. When he thought of the day, he paused and clenched his fist hard. His hands trembled automatically with the memory of that unfortunate night.