CH 54

His head throbbed more when he was resting. Because of this, Ezekiel worked tirelessly. He also thoroughly examined the territory and castle work that he usually left with his own eyes, and also observed the training of the knights more often than before. Thanks to this, the fatigue of those working under him has increased even more.

It was the same now. The administrator in charge of the village around Lake Aunue looked blankly at the ink marks all over the pile of papers. Their Lord was diligent and meticulous before, but recently, he has pursued high completeness in his work to the point of being close to a marathon.

“Get out.”

“Yes, then I’ll sort it out again.”

The voice of the aide, who bowed politely, trembled a little. But Ezekiel raised the pen again without paying attention. Soon, only the scratching sound of pen filled the office with the smell of ink and paper.

The spring sunlight came over the window and warmed Ezekiel’s back for quite a long time. However, he did not give any attention to the sunshine outside the window. Ezekiel read and signed the documents for a long time, and only after running out of ink did he turn his head to look at the almost sunset time of the day.

He only relaxed for a moment, but the blue eyes penetrated the gap in his mind in an instant.

Ezekiel closed his eyes tightly, thinking of Herace in the annex and Erzen in the castle. Unlike how could he decide and solve the problems of territory somehow, the relationship with Herace showed no solution.

He felt like his lungs were hardening because he couldn’t breath. Ezekiel stormed out of his seat and picked up a bottle of wine from a cabinet on one side of the room.

Pumpkin wine went down the throat with a scent that paralyzed the sense of smell. When the strong alcohol came in as if to burn the esophagus, he felt a little relieved.

Ezekiel, who had dawned almost half a bottle of alcohol, returned to the desk and stared at the documents. However, the images of Herace that occupied his head could not be removed even by the influence of alcohol. He closed his eyes and held his throbbing forehead in both hands.

“So you’re not my dad!”

What he felt for Erzen at the moment was clearly not hate or anger. Ezekiel was feeling pitiful and affectionate to the small child who shouted at him. A lot more than he thought he would.

‘The product of betrayal of my wife.’

All the emotions he had toward the child were negative. He even had a terrible heart to kill the small child who couldn’t protect himself.

‘But why now…….’

He remembered hugging the child who said he hated him. The child was smaller and thinner than he had seen. Ezekiel frowned as he remembered the little head and the sad cry of the child, who was barely held in one of his hand.

It’s not even the first time he held the child. It was him who dragged the runaway Herace and held the child away from his wife’s arms several times.

‘…is it because he looks like Herace?’

Ezekiel acted like a man clinging to an unsolved mystery, and eventually forced him to put away the reason why he would understand it. It’s been a repeat of the same thing for days, but what could he do? He didn’t know the answer at all.

When he finished thinking about the child to some extent, his wife came to mind as if it were natural. Maybe it’s because it’s been more than a week since he went to the annex to see her. Just painting the picture of his wife made him thirsty.

Half the alcohol left went down his throat. Herace’s face became more and more apparent even as the bottle was bottomed out and his vision became dim. Along with the clear appearance of his wife, his desire, which he had barely pressed, raised its head in a drunken state.

“Herace…”

Unlike Erzen, his feelings for Herace couldn’t be immediately expressed in simple words.

Ezekiel hated Herace. He was resentful. For betraying him and giving birth to a child other than his own. It seemed unforgivable to him that she ran away from him with that product.

But at the same time she was so lovely. Whatever she did, he would be overwhelmed with the love he felt for her.

The ambivalence ate him up. Opposite emotions clashed endlessly without either side dying out.

When he first faced his wife’s injustice done on him, he thought so. If he hurt his wife the same way…… He thought resentment and hatred would go away a little if he brought the mistress and pretended to look at another woman’s child and sneer at her tender heart. However, the low joy of bullying his wife only made him forget the negatives for a moment.

His own revenge on his wife only gave him a moment of pleasure as if he had taken medicine. In the end, what awaited him was more remorse, fear, and still hatred and resentment.

‘If she hadn’t run away, everything might have been like before by now. Honestly, I wouldn’t have done this to her if she had pleaded guilty and forgiveness.’

Ezekiel, who became unstable at the drunken state, blamed Herace for running away for three years. By saying one thing over and over, he knew, he was doing the ugliest and most cowardly act in the world.

Eventually, he cursed at himself and uttered thoughtful words dozens of times.

“……I can’t be like this.”

After spitting it out, Ezekiel grinned at himself. What’s the point of knowing? There is no alternative to what he had done.

At first, when he thought it wouldn’t work like this, he tried to use the excuse to let his wife have his own child and try to reverse the relationship. He thought that if he had a child with his wife, just as there was a child between Charles and his wife, he would be able to get rid of his anger toward Herace.

But Herace flatly rejected his offer. In addition, now that his feelings for Erzen have become strange, he was not very inclined to do this.

In an unthinkable solution, Ezekiel took out a cigar, lit it, and opened the window. The sun had disappeared and the sky was already dark. Every time he breathed deeply, the acrid smoke dispersed into the dark sky.

Ezekiel was lost in thought, smoking a series of cigars. A total of four cigars were burned to the ground.

The air cooled sharply after sunset. Ezekiel closed the window and tried to sit at the desk again, but when he found the ash piled up on the window frame, he stared at it.

The light ash looked weak as if it would be easily swept away by the thin wind. If the groove of the window frame was not deep, it would have been blown away by the wind already.

Ezekiel tapped the ash as if possessed. As soon as the finger touched it, the gray powder dispersed.

Ezekiel, who had been staring for a long time at the spot where a small trace of ashes was left, crumpled his face. He turned around and called an aide outside.

“……come in.”

***

“You can’t.”

“Let go! Let go!”

“His Excellency is now…….”

“I have something to say! I’m Miguel’s mother, I will talk to the Duke myself!”

Bang!

There was a commotion in front of the office from early morning. Ezekiel frowned at the shrill woman’s scream and called one of his aides to bring in the shouting woman.

“Ezekiel!”

As soon as the aide left, Charlotte grunted and opened the door. The blonde hair, which would have been rolled up gracefully, looked disorganized, and the dress was crumpled with scuffles. But Charlotte didn’t have the time to care about her appearance.

She was on the verge of going crazy with all the news that had come into her ears, so she had no time to pay attention to anything else. Charlotte approached the desk where Ezekiel was working and spoke quickly in a poisonous voice.

“There seems to be a mistake. Miguel is not the main character of the birthday banquet in the castle.”

It was when the maids were preparing for a birthday banquet Charlotte realised that Miguel’s birthday was coming. 

Charlotte went to the first floor, where preparations for her son’s birthday banquet were in full swing, to see if it was going well. And there she went on a rampage knowing that Erzen was the main character of the banquet.

But something really serious happened next…….

“It was ridiculous, so I went to the old man to question him. Do you know what that old man said when I went? How dare he… How dare he!….”

“…….”

“He told me to get out of this castle! Within a week! He said that you ordered it!”

Charlotte grabbed the hem of her dress roughly and stomped her feet as if she was going to tear it apart. She got angry just remembering how they behaved with her. Her face became red as if she was about to burst.

However, Ezekiel didn’t stop moving his pen despite Charlotte’s words. He spoke in a calm tone, keeping his eyes on the papers.

“It’s a order that was delivered exactly. What’s wrong with it?”

“What, what?”

“It’s exactly what you heard. Get out of the castle in a week. I’ve prepared the promised gold, travel expenses, and carriage for you. Go anywhere you want. I don’t want you here again.”

It was an insensitive tone no different from talking about the weather. Charlotte looked incredulous at Ezekiel’s words, but couldn’t resist hitting the desk.

Bang!

“My son is your successor, Ezekiel! But you want me to go out? Does that make sense?”

The pen shook at the force, and a random line was formed. Ezekiel narrowed his brow to the line that looked out of position.

He put down his pen and looked at Charlotte with cold eyes. Charlotte swallowed her saliva in the cold air that reached her bones and shouted in a smaller voice than before.

“You put me here! Next to you! As the mother of your son…… I’ll……”

“…….”

“If, if you didn’t need me, you would have thrown me away earlier. But Duke, you let me live here for a long time. Isn’t that because you want me to be next to you?”

Charlotte, who breathed heavily with a shaking body, was acting as if she had been betrayed by her lifelong partner. She said in a small voice as if indicating that she was not wrong with her shaking green pupils. But Ezekiel only looked at Charlotte with emotionless eyes.

“It is true that I have kept you in this castle for a long time. But I think you’re mistaken for something…… Did I promise to give you anything other than gold in our deal?”

The memory buried deep down in her mind rose when Ezekiel’s words came up like a splash and penetrated Charlotte’s head.

“You punished me so harshly then. Why are you calling me back now?”

“I’ll give you enough gold. Make a deal with me instead.”

“A deal…”

“I want you to be my mistress and mother to my son. There is only…… one condition.”

“……condition?”

How did she forget such a clear memory? She couldn’t tell either.

Charlotte’s face, which remembered the conversation and situation of that night, became pale. She stared at Ezekiel as if he was a monster with a fear-filled face. At Charlotte’s distorted expression, Ezekiel sighed annoyingly and grabbed the pen again.

“……I don’t think you remember the deal, but I’ll give you the reward I promised. So leave the castle.”

The man’s eyes shifted back to the paper.