CH 57

“If Madam leaves, please help me. I can’t be kicked out like this.”

Even the butler didn’t like Lily. If Charlotte is kicked out like this, she will also be forced out of here in the near future. There may be an option to work in the kitchen or laundry room, but she didn’t want it even if it was possible. Why did she bother others while staying on Charlotte’s side in the first place? Lily was desperate for money.

“I have a brother the size of the Young Master and a sick mother.”

Lily wondered what power an illegitimate child has in the situation where the mother is kicked out. Maids in the castle could not treat Miguel recklessly. The child had an atmosphere that was as daunting as his father.

Miguel looked at Lily and folded his eyes in half. The child reached out and lightly touched Lily’s forehead.

“All right, Lily. I won’t let you get kicked out. But you have to make a promise instead, okay?”

“Well, anything.”

“It’s not fun like this, so you…….”

Lily’s eyes slowly blurred, as Miguel brushed past her.

“……help my mother with all your heart. You have to do whatever she tells you to do. Got it?”

***

Herace walked outside and looked at the shrub with nervous eyes. Far from seeing Erzen, it’s been days since she heard about him.

Helen, who occasionally brought meals and delivered Erzen’s news, did not appear at all these days. And Miguel, who often came without Erzen, did not come. In case something happened to Erzen, Herace couldn’t even leave the place and search for her son.

“What are you doing out here?”

How long was he standing like that? The man’s sudden voice was heard from behind as if a beast hiding in the bushes was ready to leap out. Herace flinched like a child caught doing something bad as she clasped her hands close to her chest.

“……Long time no see.”

Herace released her hand and turned slowly. She could tell who the owner of the voice was just by listening. Herace, who managed to hide her trembling hands, bowed her head to avoid Ezekiel’s gaze. Then the man’s shoes seemed to get closer, and a large shadow completely covered her.

Soon Ezekael reached out and grabbed Herace’s face and slowly raised it. Tension-filled blue eyes met golden sparkling eyes.

“……I heard you come here often.”

“It’s a place where I can see the sky properly.”

Worries about Erzen came out in pointed words. Ezekiel’s brow crumpled with Herace’s reproachful tone. He tightened his grip and pulled his wife’s face toward him.

“That doesn’t change anything. You made your choice. You’ll stay here instead of having children with me.”

“Choice? Is that what you call a choice?””

“I gave you a chance. If you wanted to go out, you could have.”

Herace stared at Ezekiel without hiding her expression of absurdity. However, Ezekiel slowly took off his hand as he faced Herace with a calm face. A cold silence filled the distance between the two. Ezekiel, who hesitated for a while, soon lowered his eyes and said.

“……Tell me whenever you change your mind. It’s your son’s birthday in a week. I’m sure you know that.”

Her eyes were filled with surprise. She could never forget it, but the man in front of her had no affection for Erzen. Even so, it was him who mentioned Erzen’s birthday first. Herace looked at Ezekiel with suspicious eyes and nodded slowly.

“I know… I do.”

“I’m thinking of holding a small banquet that day. Only me, the Knights, and the employees of the castle were invited.”

“…….”

“I think I need to prepare a gift…… The kid wants to see you the most. You won’t be invited to the banquet because you have to abide by the rules. But after the banquet, the child will come and spend half a day with you.”

Her eyes have grown to the limit this time. Surprised, she stiffened up as if time had stopped and asked Ezekiel for an answer with her eyes. Why are you doing this all of a sudden?

Ezekiel turned his head sideways to avoid Herace’s gaze. He moistened his dry lips and answered after a long time.

“Your son…… He asked me if I was his father.”

“…….”

“I said yes.”

Herace, who was breathing heavily, gasped and held her breath. Ezekiel quietly poured out his unscheduled excuses because he didn’t have the courage to see Herace’s face.

“……don’t be mistaken. I’m not doing that because I believe you. I said I’d raise him as Serpence’s blood. So it’s a matter of course.”

After uttering the sentence, regret poured in. He looked at his wife with a sidelong glance and clenched his fists. As expected, the blue eyes were filled with tears and negative emotions such as hate, resentment, and sadness.

Why such eyes?

Ezekiel, who couldn’t control his emotional feelings even though he expected it, turned his face toward Herace and grabbed her shoulder.

“No, I think I have told you, Herace. It’s clear that you’ve committed a sin.”

Her shoulders must hurt a lot, but Herace did not groan once. However, she only stared at Ezekiel with an empty gaze and pursed her lips tightly.

“Don’t look at me like that.”

Ezekiel let out a long sigh and let go of Herace’s shoulder and stepped closer to her. The man’s palm touched her cool cheek, and he tucked the flowing hair behind her ears.

“……I can’t easily forgive you for deceiving me. But it won’t work like this. I can’t live like this forever. You, me, and.… Erzen, too.”

Last time Ezekiel thought a lot. However, it was self-evident that no matter what emotions he recalled, he could not leave his relationship with Herace as it was.

Besides, Erzen, that child……, Maybe it was the child who he thought was only the product of the sin committed by his wife or maybe because he looked like his wife or it could also be because he asked him if he was his father. He could not explain it, but felt strange feelings and guilt towards the child. So Ezekiel realised that he had no choice but to forget everything and forgive his wife.

“I intend to cover up everything. Your denial, your escape. I’ll try to stay the same as before as soon as possible. Erzen will be treated like my son. But instead…….”

“…….”

“……you try, too. Even half of what I’m trying to do, try to…….”

Love me.

The words he couldn’t say came up to his throat and swallowed.

But Ezekiel was fine though. After showing mercy to his wife, his frustration was half gone. This was enough. It was the relationship that he made that way from the beginning. In terms of the feelings of his heart, he thought and thought to himself that since he had always been the weaker one, it was right to lose.

Unlike Ezekiel, whose eyes were much calmer, Herace’s eyes had turned redder in the meantime. Ezekiel’s nose was deeply wrinkled by the tears that seemed to fall at any moment. Herace clasped the clothes around Ezekiel’s chest. And she spoke slowly by putting strength on each syllable.

“I won’t say anything much. Anyway… What’s the point of saying something useless? But I must say one thing. Or I’ll go crazy because I can’t stand it.”

“…….”

“I don’t want you to forget everything you’ve said to me so far, Ezekiel. No, I want you to remember it forever, and one day you’ll have to…….”

“…….”

“……I hope you feel ashamed and regret it.”

After talking, Herace relaxed her hands. Her cheeks were swollen with tears. Ezekiel frowned at his wife’s wet face and held onto Herace, who was trying to take a step back from him.

His wife, who he thought would rebel, stayed obediently at his touch. Ezekiel hugged Herace in her arms and made her white forehead lean on his chest. He could feel the dampness of his shirt along with the suppressed sobbing. He put his hand on his wife’s long hair and opened his mouth.

“…Don’t cry, damn it.”

“…….”

“Please……don’t cry, Herace.”

The cry faded away. However, the woman’s shaking body and the man’s shaking hands remained in place for a long time.

***

“The monster tried to swallow Jack’s mother at once. Then the brave Jack came out to kill the monster…… Erzen, are you sleepy?”

“Yes, Brother Miguel. I’m sleepy. I’m going to sleep now.”

“Yes. Sleep now. I’ll cover you with a blanket.”

Erzen lay on the bed rubbing his eyes. Miguel covered him with a blanket, sat at his bedside, looked down at Ergen, and asked.

“Tomorrow is your birthday. Are you excited?”

“Yes. I’m getting a year older. I will grow up fast and defeat the monster like the brave Jack.”

Although he said so, Erzen pulled the blanket up to his nose as if he were scared. And he asked Miguel back, as if he was trying to forget about the monster.

“When is your birthday?”

“Me? Well…… earlier than you, Erzen.”

“I haven’t seen you blow out the candles on the cake. Did you do it before you met me?”

Erzen’s birthday was a day to blow candles while eating cake for him. Miguel frowned awkwardly at Erzen’s question and whispered quietly as if telling a secret.

“I can’t blow out candles on my birthday this year. Unlike you, I’m an illegitimate child. Now that the Duchess is back, it’s customary for illegitimate children to stay quiet.”

“An illegitimate child?”

“You don’t need to know the meaning of the word yet, Erzen.”

You and I are similar! Why do you treat me like a baby? Erzen muttered in a moment of unhappiness at Miguel’s words. But he couldn’t understand why you couldn’t even blow candles on his birthday. Erzen felt sorry for Miguel.

“Illegitimate child… I don’t know what it is, but it’s a pity that Brother can’t blow out the candles on his birthday. But you can still eat the cake, right?”

“No. I can’t even eat cake. Nothing is prepared for me.”

“You can’t even eat cake? My mom always puts red fruit on the round cake……. I heard that on your birthday, you have to eat it so that the devil can’t hurt you.”

“Well……that’s a lie, Erzen.”

“No! My mom said that. If you eat red fruits, the devil will run away.”

The red fruit Erzen referred to was roseberry, which was originally a precious fruit that was only the size of a walnut grain per tree, and was only available for harvest in late spring.

Nevertheless, the people of Empire ate roseberry berries preserved in sugar or honey on its birthday. This is because there has been a myth from a long time ago that eating roseberry fruit on birthdays can drive away demons and bring good health.

***