Chapter 46 - What Is Love?

Arriving in her room, she heaved out a long sigh. She took out her phone from her bag and just realized that she forgot to get Yong Liwei's contacts. How was she supposed to message him now? She was such an idiot for forgetting.

Another sigh escaped her lips as she walked towards her bed and fell there. She checked the rest of the messages she received. She also saw Si Hongqi's message which made her stare at it. He only messaged her once.

[It will be best for you if we stop seeing each other for a while. Until you can move on. I'm sorry, Mengjie.]

She should be feeling so heartbroken. She should be crying her eyes out but… she couldn't. Was her love for him so superficial? The pain that she should be feeling, that she should be experiencing was not forming inside her.

Ever since they were kids, she has been following him around. She even declared that he was going to be the man she would marry. She has always looked up to him especially when he reminded her of her father, Xia Sinian, whenever he smiled. It was the reason why she was so obsessed with him. Has she mistaken her feelings for love?

A knock was suddenly heard, making her look at the door as it was pushed open.

Li Bingbing walked in and her eyes were cast down at her daughter's figure. She closed the door behind her before she approached her. "Have you slept with Si Hongqi?"

Instead of giving her mother the answer, Lu Mengjie replied to her with a question, "mom… what is love?"

Her mother stood beside the bed with a dumbfounded look on her face. She was clearly not expecting that her daughter was going to ask such a question.

The girl sat up and moved to the side just to get a small ceramic jewelry box from the drawer that was beside her bed. Lu Mengjie could have forgotten her papa, how he treated her, how he looked but… thanks to the birthday videos he prepared, he always has been close to her heart. He was never forgotten by everyone in the family.

When she opened the box, a necklace with a snowflake pendant was seen inside. Ever since she almost lost it, she stopped wearing the necklace in fear that it might get lost again. The item was so precious to her, even more precious than her life since it was the first birthday gift that her deceased father gave her. She would only wear it at home or whenever she was missing her papa.

Li Bingbing's eyes softened when she saw the solemn look on her daughter's face while she stared at the necklace inside the jewelry box. She went and sat beside her. "Love is a very complicated thing. Even I cannot fully define it."

She smiled a bit upon hearing her mother's words. Yes, she was right. Love was very difficult to understand. Even she couldn't understand her feelings for Si Hongqi anymore.

"How will papa define it?"

"Hmm…" she lifted her head just to look at the ceiling as she thought. "I wonder how he'll define it."

"I guess we won't know." Lu Mengjie whispered sullenly.

It became quiet in the room. The heavy atmosphere surrounded them until Li Bingbing opened her mouth again.

"Sisi has always been the type of person who kept all the pain inside. He was the type of person who didn't want to share his pain with others. I hated that part of him. He was always kind. So gentle and caring. When he smiled at me it seemed as if the whole world was mine. He was my world and yet he was also the one that got away."

The one that got away... it was more like, he was the one who got stolen from her mother. From them.

"I have always thought that after Sinian's death, I will never be able to love again but… he has already prepared everything, Mengjie." She looked at her and smiled gently. "For my happiness, for yours, for your brother, before he left us, he made sure that there will be someone who can catch us when we fall apart. When my world cracked open, the universe put your father, Xian Yu inside and sealed it tight. Sinian has always been the kind of person who wants nothing but happiness for the people he cared for. Sinian was my first love but Xian Yu is my last."