Chapter 69 - Think Of Happy Thoughts

"I'll be coming here to visit you at least twice a month. Your due date should be about four months or less from now on, right?" He asked, wanting to confirm the information he was given.

"Yes…" she trailed off. Once again, she couldn't help but be disappointed at the number of visits he would be giving her although at the same time, she knew that it couldn't be helped. Flying from one country to another, especially with his hectic schedule, was already hard enough so she knew that she should be grateful instead but she was being greedy for wanting more of his time.

Lu Mengjie failed to remove the tension between them. It was suffocating her. She wanted to ask more but instead she remained quiet, knowing that this man was not going to properly answer her. It was unfair but after waking up from her coma, during her stay with Bai Keran up to becoming friends with Bai Jingye and Tian Ruyi, she knew best that she shouldn't ask for more. She didn't have the right to do that. She may be in a relationship with Yong Liwei but just like how she 'married' Bai Jingye, it was all because of her attraction to them, not because of love.

Love… When would she be able to receive the kind of love she wanted?

Without realizing it, tears unconsciously fell from her eyes. There was a sudden ache on her chest. It was not the kind of pain that came from a physical wound but it was worse. She felt her heart being twisted, devouring her from the inside. Why did she suddenly feel the guilt and regret building up in her chest? To whom did she want to apologize?

"I'm sorry…" she unconsciously uttered and when she noticed this, she gritted her teeth. Why? Why was she suddenly feeling this way? 

Just then a small memory flashed in front of her.

It was dark. The cold breeze blew against her. A kilometer away, she saw a faint light coming from a car that seemed to be waiting for her. She could remember the feeling of wanting to run towards the car. Someone was waiting for her. Someone… who?

"You're crying again." Yong Liwei's deep voice snapped her out, making her turn to look at his worried face.

"A-ah…" She stuttered as she tried to quickly wipe her tears away. Thankfully, it ceased from streaming when she got distracted by him.

"Why are you crying all of the sudden?" He couldn't help but ask as he went back to her side and held her wrist just so he could lean forward and take a closer look on her face.

"I don't know…" It was an honest answer. She didn't know why she was suddenly feeling this way but when she remembered the car that was waiting for her, she felt her chest throb in pain, making her want to cry again but this time, she held back.

Yong Liwei sighed. Even if he could just comfort her with a hug, he was bothered by her tears. Was it his fault? Although… the doctor did say that her emotions would become unstable every now and then because of her pregnancy. He cupped her cheek with his hand as he spoke, "I didn't know that you are such a crybaby.'

A small pout appeared in her lips as she argued back, "no, I'm not."

"Then why are you crying for no reason?" He inquired.

She pursed her lips and was hesitant to tell him. Was he the person waiting in that car or was it someone else?

Now that she tried to think of it… the last thing she remembered was that Yong Liwei left her with someone else in that party. That someone was… Si Hongqi. She was wearing the same dress so… what happened after Yong Liwei left? 

"Something is bothering you." Yong Liwei said, noticing that she was once again in a deep trance. "What is it?" This time, he wasn't questioning her. His voice was authoritative, ordering her to give him the answer.

She looked at the domineering man's perfect face. She didn't say a word but instead, she stared into his eyes for a while. "I…" she finally spoke. "I remembered the night that you left me with Si Hongqi."

Yong Liwei's eyes glimmered as he gave his full attention to her. "You mean the night you were kidnapped," he corrected. "Do you remember how you were taken away?"

She paused. She was thinking of Si Hongqi, not how she was kidnapped. She was not in the mood anymore so she just shook her head a bit before hanging her head low. 

He heaved out a heavy sigh. "That's fine, don't force yourself to remember. Also, you shouldn't stress yourself right now. Remember what the doctor said, your emotions will affect the child inside you so just think of happy thoughts."

Happy thoughts… What kind of happy thoughts should she think when there was none? She inwardly smiled in bitterness. Her mouth remained shut as she bobbed her head.