Chapter 234 - Be Yourself

"Mom… mom… wake up…"

Yong Liwei opened his eyes upon hearing a child's sob. The scent of blood entered his nostrils. As he darted his eyes towards the boy who was shaking a woman's dead body.

Ah… he remembered this memory well. It was the day when he first emerged in Han Yizhou's body after the boy fainted. 

He walked towards the boy and knelt beside him. The young Han Yizhou turned to him, his eyes puffy and full of tears. "She won't wake up… Why won't mom wake up?"

Yong Liwei placed his hand on top of the young Han Yizhou's head before he pulled him to his chest and as he did, the child began crying out loudly. He remained quiet as he comforted the boy with his hug. He was not a man who could say comforting words so he could only give it to him by embracing him. He knew that the reason why he was born inside his body was to protect this frail child. That was his only purpose and he did it, he protected him in his own way. He never stopped doing so.

The room gradually turned dark and the child that Yong Liwei was hugging slowly grew into an adult.

"I… I can't even protect them… Lu Mengjie… my son…"

"That's not true." He pulled away from the hug to look at the man before him. "We were able to protect them, Yizhou."

He scoffed a bit before he retorted, "It's you who protected them…"

His words were like daggers that stabbed him in his chest. He had always addressed themselves as 'we' but the moment he heard his words, Yong Liwei could feel that something was wrong.

Han Yizhou slowly leaned back from him. He stood before him, his eyes became distant. "I love her more than you do…"

Yong Liwei's eyes widened when he saw Han Yizhou crumbling before him. He stood up and tried to reach out to him. "What are you saying?" 

Han Yizhou took a step back, avoiding his hand. "I love her more than you do…" He kept on mumbling.

He clenched his jaw as he slowly lowered his hand. Even if he could see that something was wrong with his alter, he didn't know what to do but to watch him. 

"I love her more than you do…"

As Han Yizhou kept on muttering the same words, Yong Liwei finally snapped out. "STOP!!" He couldn't tolerate seeing him that way and what irked him further was the words he was saying to him. "I love Mengjie just like you do- no, not just like yours but more than yours! You were not even willing to risk your life for her! You love her? Don't make me laugh! You cowered at the last minute! You only care about yourself more than your family!"

He stomped his way towards his alter before he grabbed him by his shirt's collar, pulling him close to him. "You could have defeated those men just like I did but what stopped you? You piece of shit, you wanted me to come out!"

Han Yizhou remained still as he ended up staring back at his alter. Slowly, the side of his lips raised up into a small devious smirk.

Yong Liwei gritted his teeth when he saw the snicker on the other man's face. "You… how could you use your own family to bring me out?" He spat.

"Because I know that you'll protect them. You used me the same way, right? You used me just to make her stay. That divorce papers she sent you, it was authentic. You knew that. We knew that."

He tightened his grip on his shirt as he glared at the man before him but he couldn't say a word in response since what Han Yizhou said was correct.

Han Yizhou lowered his head, the smirk on his lips faded, Instead, it was replaced by a subtle bittersweet smile. "I love her more than you do but… you protected her better than I could. You were willing to die for her… you… love her more than you cared for me." 

Yong Liwei knitted his brows together in confusion. What was he suddenly saying?

"I can never protect her like you did…" He continued. "I know that you were only trying to protect me when you killed Chen Yuyan…"

Yong Liwei released his shirt as he looked at him in shock. "You…"

"I remember, Liwei. After you have woken me up from my sleep… I remembered that night." He arched his neck to level his sight at him. There was no hatred in his eyes for the alter in front of him, it was only grief. "I don't blame you… neither do I hate you."

He balled his fists tightly as he recalled the night where he killed Chen Yuyan. He didn't have a choice, she betrayed Han Yizhou. He had to take it to himself since he knew that his other self wouldn't be able to bring himself to fight her.

"I've been searching for her killer the whole time when all this time, her murderer is actually inside me." Han Yizhou laughed, rather emptily at the thought. This time, he raised his hand and held his alter by his neck.

Yong Liwei remained unmoved. He slowly closed his eyes as Han Yizhou began to strangle him. He may have said that he didn't hate him but surely, that was a lie. If his other self wanted him to disappear, he would do it for him. But instead of disappearing, he decided that he would merge with him. Yong Liwei was only waiting for his words.

"All this time, you've been trying to live as me." Han Yizhou stopped squeezing his neck. "So now… I want you to live as yourself. You don't have to live as me anymore. Be yourself."

Yong Liwei snapped his eyes wide upon hearing his words but instead of finding Han Yizhou's figure, he found himself inside the hospital room.

'She needs you more… She doesn't need a coward like me. Lu Mengjie and our son are my happiness. I leave them to you. Thank you, Liwei.'

As the voice in his head disappeared, Yong Liwei felt Han Yizhou's presence disappearing inside him. He couldn't reach out to him even if he wanted to. Instead, he felt more like two pieces of jigsaws were put together, completing the puzzle. He felt something in him was awakened, the fusion with Han Yizhou caused his ownership of the body to become stronger. As he stared at the ceiling, his sight became blurry. He suddenly felt something wet on his face. The heart-wrenching pain inside him suffocated him. He was crying.