Chapter 5: Murphy's Law

Chapter 5: Murphy's Law

“You just had to say something!”

“Halt!” Behind us, the guards were closing in fast.

“Shut up and run!” Electra yanked me down a side ally, our feet churning the muddy road.

“Stop there, Criminal Scum!”

Neither of us obeyed. Electra, of course, wasn’t a criminal, so she had no reason to stop. And I had no reason to stop, because I was a criminal.

Now, you’re probably wondering how we got into this situation.

“Duck!”

I ducked, nearly tripping over my feet as we ducked beneath a wagon. The streets of ‘Silverwall’ were packed with merchants and tradesmen. So, I think I could be forgiven for thinking we could slip into the city with the rest of the people coming in on the main road.

“Dammit, Empress, stop getting distracted!”

I sucked in a breath. “I’m... trying!”

It didn’t go very well for us.

“This way, you hecking snail!” Electra jerked me half off my feet, a spear thunking into a wooden sign where my head used to be.The origin of this chapter's debut can be traced to N0v3l--B1n.

“Don’t—haaa—call me that!” All I could do was follow Electra’s commands. She was used to this type of rough and tumble mess. Not that either of us could expect the guards taking one look at our classes and decided we needed to be taken down with lethal force!

“If the shoe fits!” I blinked as Electra caught me by the collar, dragging me into yet another twisted alley between two perilously stooped buildings. I grunted as she tossed me to the ground in a pile of dirt and... leavings, crashing to the ground on top of me a moment later.

“I’ll get you for this,” I hissed out.

“Quiet!”

The thunderous clatter of men in armor rounded the corner a second later, racing past our noxious pile of refuse without looking back.

God damn it. If it worked, I couldn’t even be mad at her for it. Never had I wanted a plan to fail so badly without sabotaging it myself.

The two of us waited in silence for a moment more, just enough time for a second pair of guards to stroll past on the main road—if indeed a slum like this could have ‘main’ anythings.

“Think they’ll catch ‘em?” one of the men asked.

The woman spat to the side. “Not if we lost ‘em Northside. People here wouldn’t know the truth if it crawled up their ass.”

The first nodded, placing a hand on the hilt of his short sword. “Almost make you wish we could stop caring so much about rare-classes and take care of this fucking pig sty.

“Keep it in your pants.” The woman replied. “Don’t get paid to make more trouble.”

Electra got off of me as they rounded the corner, pulling me up with her.

“It’s in my hair.” I hissed. I didn’t know how much of the gunk coating me was garbage and mud and how much was... other, but I didn’t want to know. “Jesus Christ did you have to dump us in it?”

“Can it!” Electra hissed at me, eyes furrowed. “If you think they’re gonna give up after one sweep—”

“If you think I need help from you at evading the law, you’ve got another thing coming.” I grabbed her wrist, pulling her back onto the main road.

“That’s not what it looked like, Via.” Electra smirked. I held my breath. Working with this woman was insufferable.

As we made our way down the street, people in ragged clothes began to emerge from their houses and shops. They gave us leery glances; Even caked in mud, the two of us were obvious outsiders. I didn’t linger long, this time heading back the direction we came from, back towards the city’s main thoroughfare. It was the only street I’d seen with paving stones, though maybe that changed behind the city’s second wall.

I frowned as I took in the rough-cut logs and thatch roofs surrounding us. There was a low-lying perimeter wall around the city, which showed medieval levels of stonemasonry. That was a rather clear sign of this society’s level of technology.

In a word, disheartening.

I couldn’t just wave my hand over a pile of scrap metal and yank the moon out of orbit.

Not... that I had experience with anything like that in particular. That was more Dr. Impossible’s bailiwick.

But the point was that technology took precision, operating within incredibly small tolerances, and the devices to achieve that precision and measure those tolerances. Without that, in a world like this...

Well, to get us home, it wouldn’t be a question of building the tools I needed to make a teleporter.

I’d be building the tools to build the tools to build the tools.

“Where are we going?”

I glanced over my shoulder at Electra. “Not here.”

From what little we’d seen, it was clear that the city became more filthy and downtrodden the farther north you went from the main thoroughfare. Then there was the south side, which we hadn’t seen, and that second set of walls with a castle peeking out from behind them, but I assumed that we wouldn’t be getting into that place anytime soon.

And then the voice said, The bargain is struck.

I snapped back to reality without a second having passed. Everyone was the same. The men were in the same spot, the boss grabbing Electra’s face with one of his meaty hands.

But there was a small lump on the ground between us.

My eyes were drawn to it, taking in the too long arms and its squat, almost squished torso. From the back, I could only make out its pin-shaped bald head and massive nose.

Then the creature let out a gibbering shriek, mouth opening to reveal rows of serrated teeth. And it threw itself at the big man.

“Wha—ghrk!”

He had just enough time to be surprised before it took a juicy bite out of his throat. The man fell down to the ground, gurgling. My familiar paused for a moment, just enough for me to feel the connection between.

“Don’t stop.”

The thing seemed to smile, before leaning down to take another massive bite.

Ding!

System Message

You have killed Thief Lvl 5. For defeating an enemy more than twice your level, additional experience has been granted

Ding!—

I pushed the notifications down. I didn’t have time for that. “Kill the other thieves.” I ordered. The thing looked at me mutely, even as the other men stumbled back in shock.

Capable of nothing else indeed.

With a growl I pointed towards the closest man, pushing my aggression across our bond. “Attack!”

With a gleeful squeal it leapt forward.

And the rest, you might say, is history.

“I think I’m gonna be sick.” Electra still had the last one, the cobbler boy, pinned to the ground.

The other three had been reduced to giblets, with my demon still crouched over its most recent victim, massive teeth munching happily on an arm.

Or was it a leg? The business end was already in its gullet.

“Are you going to deal with the last one?” I looked towards her. “Or shall I?”

Electra scrambled to her feet, stepping in front of the boy. “What? No way.” She crossed her arms. “The fight’s over. We’re not killing him.”

I raised an eyebrow, glancing towards the boy. If he jumped up and stabbed Electra, well, at least I’d have the chance to say ‘I told you so’ before she bled out. Instead, he just curled up into a ball, rocking back and forth.

I sighed. “Suit yourself.” I turned, walking towards my little demon as it happily worked its way through a man’s rib cage.

And yes, I could, in fact, feel its dull spark of joy simmering through the bond we’d made.

I glanced to the west, where the sun was sinking inexorably towards the horizon. “Be still.”

It froze.

Now, I didn’t know a thing about demons in this world, or the last. But no one who ever trusted a demon lived to regret their decision.

Who knew what definition of ‘obey me for a day’ we were going with? The last thing I needed was to be carting this thing around until its sudden and inevitable betrayal.

So, I did what any successful villain would do in my situation. I picked up a discarded knife, grabbed my first familiar by the top of the head, and drew the knife across its spindly little neck.

It fell backwards, and I swore I saw something dark and mist-like rise out of the corpse before vanishing back from whence it came. The bond between us snapped, and I sucked in a breath.

In the back of my head I heard the voice again.

This contract is thus complete.

I swallowed.

Then, in a completely normal voice it added. “A pleasure doing business with you! Contact us again soon!”

I blinked. “What?”

Behind me the cobbler threw up on Electra’s feet.

“Oh what the—”

I brushed myself off. “I did offer to kill him for you.”