CH 31

Macey Shefinko's Regrets ②

Translated by KaiesV

Edited by KaiesV

The reputation of the royalty and nobility in this country has taken a turn for the worse.

Conversely, the reputation of Ottilie in the neighboring country is improving.

Originally, Ottilie would have been building her reputation in this way if Louise-sama had not behaved like that, if rumors had not spread. She could have lived in this country as just a reputable duchess.

I think that when Louise-sama was showing that Ottilie was a bad woman like that, we took advantage of the situation, which made Louise-sama that way even more so. And I am sure that if I had looked at Ottilie more objectively, none of this would have happened.

…As for the nobles of this country, they were only on board because Louise-sama and we were like that. I would say that they kept their distance from Ottilie because they didn’t want us to stare at them, even though they realized that Ottilie was not that kind of lady.

When I was alive as a member of Aloige-sama’s entourage, many ladies approached me. But none of them approach me now.

I believed and was deluded by Louise-sama’s words that I could meet my destiny, and I did not make a fiancée when my father and mother tried to make one—— I think I was smug that I could always have a fiancée.

If things continue as they are, there is a good chance I will never get married. I must do everything I can, even if it is retribution for my actions.

My father and mother, for what it’s worth, left me a place as the head of a ducal family. If I had wanted to, I could have put myself in a position from which I couldn’t recover, or I could’ve killed myself in secret, but I did not do so.

With my reputation on the ground, I have many obstacles in front of me to live as the head of a ducal family. However, I am here today because of the warmth that my father and mother still feel toward me as their son.

「I made a mistake. I thought that there must be no mistake in what Louise-sama was saying, and I didn’t look at Ottilie properly. So I won’t be delusional in believing in them from now on either. Is it not true? And always act with suspicion.」

「I think that is a good idea. Macey-sama was too pure to act as the head of the dukedom. What people say includes lies. People make mistakes. Macey-sama’s mistake was big enough to shake the country. Yet… Macey-sama is alive. Macey-sama still has a life ahead of h him. If he wants to make amends to Ottilie-sama, he will become a fine Duke.」

Such is the case with my words, said the old butler who has served the mansion for a long time.

…Many of those who served in this mansion have left the mansion. Most of them have not established good relations with me, but some of those who have remained in this way are concerned about me. I had become so deluded about Louise-sama that I would not even listen to the words of these old-timers.

I could not realize such a fact until I was in this situation.

I made a mistake. If only I had done that, if only I had done this—— I have many such regrets. However, regret does not change what I have done.

Depending on what I will do from now on… I may find some hope.

The current situation is full of hardships, but it’s not the worst.

Ottilie lived straight through a situation like that. Nor was she despairing. She was thinking ahead.

When I think of Ottilie, I am determined to work single-mindedly as the head of the ducal family.

Once the reputation fell, it did not get better.

It took the same ten years that Ottilie had been disgraced for her reputation to be overturned. However, if I work hard, my luck will turn.

「I want to take advantage of you. I want money for my house. And I would like to have children. Macey-sama is working very hard to improve his reputation, that’s why you won’t be unkind to me, will you? Our interests are aligned with each other. Let’s get married.」

There was one noblewoman who told me so. She was the daughter of a Viscount, and apparently her estate was in debt due to a natural disaster. I said I could offer support without having to get married, but she said,「I don’t want inequality to just be given to me!!」How she pushed me to take her as my wife.

I thought it would be a cold family relationship, but surprisingly, my relationship with my wife was good.

——And I had a daughter.

My lovely, adorable daughter.

She looks somewhat like Ottilie. If my own daughter had gone through what Ottilie did… And so I was distressed by my sin.

My sins. What I had done. That fact will never change. But because of that regret, I want to avoid making the same mistake.

As I watched my daughter being held in the hands of the maid of honor, I resolved to try to be a good father to her.