CH 24

「……fuu, thanks for the meal」

「You’re welcome, Wilhelm-sama」

After the lunch had ended, I tidied up the basket. As I have thought, Wilhelm-sama is a man as well. The basket which had lots of lunch for me, he emptied it.

It was Chris who made most of it but he also ate the potato salad that I made deliciously as well. There is no happiness greater than this.

And after the meal, it is the time to speak with Wilhelm-sama like this while drinking tea.

Is it, am I allowed to be so happy?

「It was very delicious. Which one did Carol make?」

「It is the potato salad that I have prepared」

「I see. That was delicious. The allotment of condiments was exquisite. I have been living alone for a long time so I have fairly cooked, but Carol might have already surpassed me」

Uu.

About the allotment of condiments, I have just followed Chris’ instructions. It is absolutely not my skill.

However, as for the evaluation, it would be good enough to get it from now on. After all, someday, I will be the one who will make all of Wilhelm-sama’s meals.

And for that, I must not skip practicing cooking from now on.

「Ahh, that’s right. You don’t need to come tomorrow」

「Eh……」

My excited heart was suddenly rejected.

I was even looking forward to every day from now on, enjoying meals with Wilhelm-sama.

I, is it that, am I really a nuisance……

「No, no. Don’t make such a face. There will be patrols to the local order of knights tomorrow. It is very close, so I should be able to return at night if I leave in the morning」

「Local order of knights?」

「Umu. There was a report about the order of knights in the territory of Earl Hans are doing injustice. Right now, there are no wars so I can move quite freely. I thought of making inspections on this occasion」

「Was that so. Wilhelm-sama is very hard-working」

Thank goodness. It was for work.

After all, Wilhelm-sama has the position of being the knight of the order of knights, so there would be many tasks like this. If I say that I am feeling lonely every time, it would be on Wilhelm-sama’s way.

I should show that I am an understanding lady here.

「Wilhelm-sama’s work, what other kinds are there?」

「Mu……let me see」

To my question, Wilhelm-sama placed his hand on his chin.

It is not like I have asked a difficult question, but it would seem that there is so many that he cannot answer with a few words.

「First, wars I guess. In the case where a war occurs with the neighboring kingdom, I must sortie without fail. In that case, I cannot return for several months……or a year if it is long」

「Oh……」

For a whole year, just waiting is very painful.

Just the fact that he will be on the battlefield where his life would be threatened. I, I might cry every day just thinking of it.

If possible, I hope that something like that does not happen.

「And at peace……I have many works to do. I need to inspect local order of knights regularly, and I must look after their training. I also have paperwork to submit to the palace. Adding to that, I must also train myself, or else I would not be able to fight when war comes」

「Oh……you are very busy. If so, are you not coming home late always?」

「Yeah. After supervising the training at peacetime, I am always doing paperwork after all. Normally, I do not go home before the date changes」

「Oh no!」

That is.

Wilhelm-sama’s work, it has too much burden on just Wilhelm-sama alone. Is it not the administrative officers who must do paper works like that originally?

Even if he is the captain of the knights, if he busies himself to work like that, no one knows when his robust body would raise a scream.

And also, if he continues work like that when he has taken me as a wife, it would be very lonely.

「This is also the duty of a person who oversees the order of knights」

「However, still……is it not, too assiduous?」

「What it’s nothing, I am taking my rest days properly. After al, I am taking making sure to have a rest day once a week. If I do not push it to make a rest day, it would not be so busy though」

「However, it will be a burden to your body without a rest day」

「That’s right. Adding to that, I have my position as the captain of the order of knights」

I nodded.

Wilhelm-sama is the most authoritative person in the order of knights. That is the reason why he has many work and responsibility.

「If the person above does not rest, those who are under cannot rest」

「Is that……so?」

「Yeah. If I come every day to work, that itself would be a burden to the surroundings. If I continuously work every day, those under me will be apprehensive and cannot rest. That is why, a person who stands above must take their rest」

Those works, I am able to understand them.

It is true that if Wilhelm-sama does not rest, it would be embarrassing to ask for rest for a personal reason.

Wilhelm-sama’s thoughts are excellent; however, it is too heavy for me to accept.

「……however, Carol is worried」

「Umu……nevertheless, it’s something that I have already continued for more than 20 years. You need not to worry so much. Although I’m at my age, I’m still healthy that I do not need a doctor」

「Uu……」

Since Wilhelm-sama says that much, is it something that I must accept?

But, even so.

Wilhelm-sama, he is pushing himself too much.

「That is why」

「……yes」

「I am, a person who cannot look after his family」

“Ha!”, I raised my head.

Wilhelm-sama, he is staring at me with serious eyes.

It was as if.

As if, he is determined to do something.

「Even if I take someone as my wife, I will leave for work earlier than my wife wakes up, and return later after she sleeps. Even if it is my rest day, I will be resting my body for the whole day. If a war occurs, I will leave my house open for a very long time……a person like that, should not create a family」

「Wilhelm, sama」

「You’re disappointed right, Carol. As you can see, I am a person who only thinks of himself. Such a person, there is no need to get involved much further」

It was, as if.

It was as if he is saying, that I am a nuisance.

「B-But, if that is Wilhelm-sama’s duty……」

「You will not have discontent, do you have the confidence to say that? Seeing me not taking care of the household, seeing me going to work, do you have the confidence to say that you will not have any discontent?」

「……」

Probably, no, I will absolutely, have discontent.

I am even discontent with a rendezvous with just eating lunch like this. I want to be with Wilhelm-sama longer.

If in the future, if I became his wife……my desire, it would get stronger for sure.

That is why, I cannot, I cannot answer Wilhelm-sama’s question.

「Carol」

「……yes」

「I am such a person. Carol, she must search for a partner suitable to her standing. From the start, a person who oversees the order of knights do not need a household. Even if I take someone as my wife, I cannot take care of her」

「……Wilhelm, sama, is」

Tears naturally filled my eyes.

If this continues, I am sure that Wilhelm-sama will take distance from me, I feel like that.

This is only, my selfishness. Wilhelm-sama, he is answering to my selfishness sincerely.

But.

I, I love Wilhelm-sama.

「Do you hate, Carol?」

「It is not like that. I am the one who’s in the wrong. A person like me, he must not get involved with a wonderful woman like Carol. About His Majesty, I will explain……」

「Wilhelm-sama, does not need, Carol……he is saying, that」

There is no longer meaning to live in this world.

Living in such a world, I……

That is why

「Carol, she will bite her tongue and……」

「Carol!」

Wilhelm-sama raised an angry voice stopping my words.

My body was startled and trembled.

Why.

Why are you.

Why are you that angry.

「……thank you for the meal. I have my duties. Go home」

「Wilhelm-sama!」

「Go home」

Wilhelm-sama left the drawing room.

I could only watch him do that together with despair. I do not know what is making me sad. I do not know what I must cry for.

I, I made Wilhelm-sama, I made him angry.

It was just.

I could not say a word, with my tears flowing endlessly.