CH 29

「Well, let’s leave it with this much. However, we cannot go out with that face. Let’s leave your mother’s errand for tomorrow. Carol, are you free tomorrow?」

「Y-Yes, Mother. I do not have anything to do for the whole day tomorrow」

「Well then, please go out with your mother tomorrow」

I wonder what Mother’s errand is?

She said that I cannot go out, so, are we going to buy something outside? I am sure that even Mother did not think that I will return while crying like this.

「Where are we going tomorrow?」

「We are going to that tailors. I have not bought Carol clothes recently too. Let’s arrange your clothes in this occasion as well. By doing that, you will not need to go out in your uniform like today」

Oh.

It is true that I only have a few clothes and I followed Natalia’s advice and wore my uniform.

However, casual clothes are needed as well. I would be very delighted if Mother will buy it for me.

「I understood, Mother」

「Yes, lovely Carol. Fix your face before dinner comes. Your mother has heard about the circumstances, but Gilliam would be surprised if you have that face」

「……yes」

Is my face right now, really that terrible?

However, it should probably true since Mother says so.

I thought of sleeping alone in my room, but I have a goal right now. I am going to do my best from now on to become a good woman.

Although I am completely clueless on what to do.

「Well then, Mother, please excuse me」

「Yes」

I left Mother’s room and went to my room.

I should ask a lot of people what the thing called “a good woman” is tomorrow. For example, Chris. If it is her, I believe that she would have a good answer.

Other than her, who should I ask?

For the meantime, I arrived at my room, so I undressed my uniform and wore room clothes.

The uniform is very cute, but it is a little difficult to move in it. That is why, I am usually in my room clothes in my room.

I also thought of taking a bath, but I feel really bad to ask to make hot water especially for me, so I should hold back.

I know.

「Natalia」

「Yes, Ojou-sama」

Natalia who had always followed me from Mother’s room from earlier was standing straight just as usual.

She would stay by my side like air as long as I do not call out for her. It is very thankful.

「Natalia, what kind of woman do you think a good woman is?」

「Mu……」

For me, Natalia is a very charming woman.

She is tall, her face is pretty, and her chest is huge as well. Also, she has a good personality, thoughtful, and kind. Is a woman like Natalia the so-called “good woman”?

If so, I would need to have a physical remodeling. What do I need to do to make my chest bigger?

「Is it fine with my individual thoughts?」

「Yes, I do not mind」

「Well then……the ideal woman that I believe, is someone who has the strength to live alone」

The strength to live alone.

It is true that that has some parts that connect to the first class woman that Mother spoke of.

She said that a first class woman is a woman who can endure it even if there are difficult things. A woman who lives unmoving no matter how hard it is, is a first class woman.

Having the strength to live alone corresponds to that as well.

「I see……」

Well then, what about me?

If I were to be asked whether I am able to live by myself, I would need to tilt my head.

From the start, being born as the lady of a Duke’s House, I do not need to be in a certain job. I was an existence that needed to be educated to become the Queen, receive the minimum education from the school, and act in the high society in the future.

However, that is only because I am a person from the Ambrose House of the Duke.

I, Carol, as an individual woman, if I were to be asked if I would be able to live if the House of the Duke falls, it is impossible.

On the other hand, Wilhelm-sama can live by himself. I am sure that Wilhelm-sama who had not taken a wife up until now plans to live by himself.

And in there, if a weak woman who cannot even live by herself intervenes, it would only be a burden on Wilhelm-sama.

And, does that men, I need to be in a certain kind of job?

Leaving aside whether our House falls or not, I am just a woman. I need to become a strong woman, that Wilhelm-sama would feel attracted to the person called “me”.

I thought of the good women who are close to me.

I am sure that Natalia can live by herself. Even if she is not a servant of the Ambrose House of the Duke, a woman as strong as Natalia would be able to enter the female order of knights, and even if she does not do so, she would be able to work in the town without any problem.

Without a doubt, Natalia has the strength to live by herself.

I am also sure that Mother can live by herself.

Father is the head of the Ambrose House of the Duke, but Mother has the direct bloodline. It is even recognized both inside and outside, whether Mother is really not the head of the family.

And Mother is perfect in a lot of sense. Although her appearance is very youthful that we would look like sisters standing side by side, she has a very strong heart and very aggressive.

I am also sure that Chris can live by herself.

Her skill at making food, I am sure that it would be a great business if she makes a store in the town. And she who treats her male subordinates strictly has the strength that does not lose against men.

Her appearance is that Elder Brother likes as well, and although she is not at the same level as Mother and Natalia, I think that she is very beautiful. It is very strange why she has not married yet.

What should I do? There are only good women around me.

「Natalia」

「Yes」

「What do you think should I do to become strong?」

What do I need to do to become strong enough to stand at Wilhelm-sama’s side?

Not physical strength, but mental strength.

My mentality is too immature. Compared to the heroines that appear in love stories, my heart is too weak.

「I do not mean to be rude, but can I give my honest opinion?」

「Yes, I do not mind」

「Well then……I think that, Ojou-sama should know more about the outside the mansion」

Outside?

I do not understand very well why she said “outside the mansion”.

「What do you mean?」

「Yes. If I were to say anything rude, please tell me any time」

「Whatever Natalia tells me, I do not plan on punishing you. I understand very well that Natalia would say it for my sake」

She is really, an amazing servant.

Normally, the servants who serve ladies of the House of the Duke like me, they would not say anything bad as much as possible so that I would not get offended.

However, Natalia has served me for nine years. I understand her personality very well.

That is why, she would tell me things like this that might be difficult to tell me.

Candid advice must be the thing that makes people grow.

「Yes. Well then, saying this frankly……Ojou-sama is, currently, jobless」

「……」

「You do not have the standing of a student. Your engagement with Rayford His Highness was discarded, so you are not the Queen candidate as well. You were not accepted by Wilhelm-sama too, so you are not the Knight Captain’s fiancée as well. There is Albert-sama, so you are not the next head of the Ambrose House of the Duke as well……well then, what is Ojou-sama right now?」

……。

I am jobless.

No matter how you think about it, I am jobless.

I see, the greatest reason why I cannot live alone is because I do not have a job.

I cannot imagine the scene where I am working. Or rather, originally, a lady from a House of a Duke does not need to work.

「……well then, would it be better for me to work?」

「I am very sure that Danna-sama would question that」

「……of course」

I wonder what I would get told if I say something like wishing to work?

I might be told at least something like “go buy it if you want something.”. Our House has a rich territory, so we are rich.

Well then, what should I do?

I know.

Ha! As if a revelation, I was inspired.

「Thank you, Natalia」

「No, please forgive me for the words unsuitable for my standing」

「It is alright. I decided on what I should do」

At the least, I am aiming to become a strong woman who can live by herself.

However, there is two kinds of strength, the physical strength and the mental strength.

If so, I only need to train both of them.

「What is it, Ojou-sama」

「Yesーー」

Please wait for me, Wilhelm-sama.

Carol will definitely become a suitable lady for you.

「I will enter the order of knights」