CH 85

CHAPTER 85: WILL

「General Wilhelm was a strong warrior. We fought together, and he truly was not the Flarekista’s greatest general for nothing. Even one of the greatest in the continent. We lost a good one」

「Umm……why is Wilhelm-dono’s will with Helena-dono? 」

「Madam’s question is logical. Wilhelm-dono had led the reinforcement to where my country was battling with the neighboring country. And I was the commander then」

「Pardon me for asking, but……why are you, who is renowned as the next empress, in such a place……」

「Because I am first and foremost a soldier. Due to various overlapping matters, I was the only commander available」

I…

I did not understand.

Helena Railnote-san.

The daughter of the Railnote marquis house, a soldier and, on top of that, the next empress; I had no idea about it.

「Lady Carol」

「……Y-Yes」

「I was entrusted with the will to make sure it is conveyed to Lady Carol」

「……Yes」

「”Forgive me, I could not make you happy”」

「……」

They were words which pierced my heart.

Wilhelm-sama was supposed to marry me. I was supposed to be Wilhelm-sama’s bride, no one else’s.

That was my happiness.

That happiness which did not need anyone else but Wilhelm-sama—.

If you…

If you were going to apologize like that…

Then, why did you die—!

「”Please be together with a suitable man and become happy”……that is all for the will entrusted to me」

「……」

「He was talking about his promise of marriage. I have heard you are quite young……」

「……Thank you…very much」

My tears…

…fell one after another.

Wilhelm-sama’s will.

His body had not yet been returned, his head had not been returned either. Only reports of his death in battle came in.

Therefore, all this time, deep in my heart, I did not believe it.

But.

Hearing such a will of Wilhelm-sama…

Made it fully sink in—that he really died.

「Wilhelm-dono really fought bravely. It is thanks to Wilhelm-dono that I was able to return safely like this from such a dire situation. With his effort, we were able to win the battle」

「……」

「It is fine if you blame me. It is true I was not able to help him. However, I am obliged to tell you how bravely he fought」

「……that is enough」

「Lady Carol? 」

「Enough! 」

I stood up.

I did not want to hear any more.

No matter how bravely he fought. No matter how hard he struggled.

It did not change the fact that Wilhelm-sama died—.

「That…is enough……」

「I suppose I have worded it poorly. Wilhelm-dono was thinking about you until the end. I hope you will not let his concern……」

「He would no longer come back! I do not want to hear any more of his death in the war! 」

「But……」

「Carol……」

「No more! 」

Despair whirled in my heart.

My heart, which I thought to have calmed down, started to run amok again.

Wilhelm-sama, Wilhelm-sama, Wilhelm-sama.

Why, how?

My heart was thrown into so much chaos after his death!

「……I am sorry. As I said earlier, you may blame me. You may hate me. But……I want you to understand Wilhelm-dono’s feelings」

「……Our apologies」

「No, it was I who was not considerate enough」

Exactly.

「……I have received the will. Thank you very much」

「All right……do not be too disheartened」

「……Please excuse me」

With that, I left the drawing room.

Pardon me, but I did not want to see Helena-san’s face any longer.

Next empress or not, what of it!

Jeez.

The one who killed Wilhelm-sama—that was all I could see her as.

「Please excuse my daughter. She still seems unable to accept it……」

「Not at all……this is a common occurrence when conveying a will. And there is no doubt I let him die」

「But……」

「When I checked, he was still breathing. I arranged for a physician to see to him at once, but……I had to leave for another matter and was entrusted with only a will. However……his wound was deep」

「Then, there is a possibility he is still alive? 」

「……If you ask for a miracle, there may be」

Outside the drawing room, I who had broken down crying could hear my mother and Helena-san talking.

If there was a miracle, he might be alive.

There was no such thing.

Miracles never happen.

Those miraculously saved, those who miraculously survived—such people.

They were only saying they were really fated to die.

And when it did not happen, it was called a miracle.

「A…Ah……Wil…helm…samaa……! 」

「Ojou-sama……」

—Forgive me, I could not make you happy.

—Please be together with a suitable man and become happy.

The will I heard from Helena-san played back in my head in Wilhelm-sama’s voice.

If you were going to apologize like that.

If you were going to wish like that.

If you were going to speak like that.

Then, right from the start…

You—should not have said you loved me.

「Aah! Aaaaaah!!! 」

Wilhelm-sama…

Wilhelm-sama…

I hate you.