Chapter 158

Crepin Subjugation Battle (9)

I have killed someone before.

Now it’s a new story.

As Ed Rothtaylor, it’s been a while since I started struggling to survive in this gloomy world... but the time I’ve spent in that world is still dozens of times longer than the time I’ve lived in this world.

So I am still just a stranger in this world.

In fact, the act of killing someone in modern warfare is such a simple thing that you may wonder if it is even okay to do so. All you need to do is align the sights and sights, stop breathing, and pull the trigger.

That’s how one’s life ends. It’s so simple and clean that it makes you laugh.

At first, there was no awareness that someone’s life had been taken like that. My hands are shaking because I did something so casually, but I don’t feel it, so I just end up in a dazed mood.

What was really scary was when I went to bed that night.

The facial expressions, lively gestures, and traces of life that disappeared as soon as a single shot was struck through the scope. All that remains is a piece of meat.

The moment you realize that fact, the guilt that blooms like a nightmare eats away at your mind.

This happens to everyone on the battlefield.

On the battlefield, crossing the line of fire, I don’t feel it because I’m trying to save my life, but when I retire and move to a peaceful world... those memories come back like ghosts and try to eat my mind.

It is a measles-like disease that anyone who has lived on the battlefield for several years experiences, and is bound to overcome it over time.

I also suffered from severe measles once, but I soon got over it, got myself together, met friends, joked, watched movies, and played games, and my way of thinking became brighter.

Now, I don’t do the stupid thing of being painfully reminded of those memories, but they still come up from time to time.

The feeling of guilt that comes after killing someone for the first time is a disaster that strikes everyone equally.

This is especially true in wartime situations. It is common to mentally escape from having no choice but to kill the other person. Because in order for me to live, I had to kill the other person.

That’s right, it can happen.

Mental escape is something everyone does, and it was the same for me.

Since the officers all understand this fact, one can gauge the fighting spirit just by looking at the faces of the soldiers as they rationalize little by little.

The problem is those who have gone astray in the other direction. Perhaps these are the types I was most wary of and stayed away from.

──Because I thought that if I let my guard down, I could end up like that too.

If you run away because you had no choice, that’s possible.

However, those who rationalize by saying, ‘I used to be this kind of guy’... are the truly dangerous ones.

I actually enjoy killing.

He is a human being who feels pleasure in killing and stealing from someone.

So there is no such thing as guilt. I have no intention of being understood.

If you say that and run away from guilt, you will eventually start to think that you are a huge ‘pure evil’.

After wandering around the battlefield for several years, free from the guilt that eats away at your mind, you become a monster and retire.

If things go well, they get a job in the defense or security industry and manage to live a social life at a level where they are treated as idiots, but if things go wrong, they end up smuggling guns or hanging out in gangs and dying with a bullet lodged in their chin.

Looking at those words, the experience of being on the verge of becoming such a madman comes back to me... and I get goosebumps all over my back.

That’s why I fought against my guilt until the end.

As I lived like that, I became a person who neither carelessly tried to take responsibility for someone nor tried to save someone in danger for no reason.

I just didn’t want to deal with the heartache of failure... That’s such a ridiculous reason. Still, I think it is a reasonable direction in its own way.

Those who have gone astray are not just homicidal maniacs who enjoy killing and go crazy. They are just cowards who ran away because they couldn’t bear the burden of guilt... and then went crazy.

That’s why there was a question I always wanted to ask my children who went astray.

...Do you still have that feeling you had when you killed your first person?

* * *

Push!

It sounded like blood leaking. The evil spirit’s seal imprinted on Crepin’s left hand began to turn red.

The leaking blood fills the gap in the seal, and an ominous magical energy begins to bloom.

Soon, the magical energy enveloped Crepin’s entire hand, and the vast energy transformed his entire left forearm into an unpleasant lump of flesh.

Scream!

And a few tentacles sprout from his left hand and wrap around him. Although the crepin still has a human form, if you only look at its left hand, it is no different from a monster.

In his right hand, he held a longsword with the family seal engraved on it. Unlike his left hand, which had changed into an unpleasant form, it was still in good condition.

“I feel powerful.”

Crepin spoke in a polite tone.

“I’ve always wanted this kind of power. The magic of immortality is just around the corner.”

After saying that, he clenched his grotesque left hand tightly.

──At that moment, the protection of the storm disappeared.

I couldn’t even feel the magic power. The pressure around me was gathered and compressed in a quick moment that was difficult to even perceive.

The trouble of deliberately waiting for the reactivation time of the Storm’s Protection was in vain. However, it has become clear that we must never let down our guard.

You cannot avoid Crepin’s attacks by moving in response to magical power.

It was the same in , but there was a fairly large gap between hearing the explanation in-game and actually dealing with it.

I had to look only at the actual movements and predict what moves the opponent would use to avoid them. It’s similar to the idea of dodging bullets by looking at the direction of the gun, so it may seem possible in words, but it’s impossible to do in person.

But you can’t stop trying just because it’s impossible. I have already reached the top of this hell.

Either catch Crepin or I die. Since you’ve reached one of two situations, don’t act hastily or be overly cautious.

Kaaaaagh!

The roar of high-ranking wind spirit Merilda echoed throughout the grounds of Rosstaylor Mansion.

She swung her front paw and tried to hit Crepin’s body, but when Crepin twisted her left hand in a bizarre way, Merilda’s front paw was blocked by an unknown physical force.

He manifested the elemental magic ‘Wind Blade’ and tried to fly towards Crepin, but as expected, he was neutralized by an unknown force just before he could approach Crepin.

Lucy said that she uses a type of magic that deviates from the normal magic power system. It was said that that was the power of Mevuller.

If it’s an indecipherable type of magic, I know how to use one.

A dark red magical energy began to bloom and surround the body. The magic power of the Aspect gathered at the tip of the finger was aimed straight at Crepin.

Phew.

Was he aiming for an opportunity where the flow of thoughts was running wild?

The crepin’s blade pierced my shoulder. It was a speed that was difficult to even recognize because no magic power was felt.

As the pain surges, I see Crepin smiling darkly in front of me.

My body, which had already reached its limit, screamed and I felt myself gradually losing consciousness.

* * *

A huge wind surrounded the annex of the mansion.

Everyone who gathered at the mansion grounds could see the scene with their own eyes.

A man is fighting an ominous energy beyond that rooftop.

The night sky of the mansion where a giant wolf roars and runs wild and all kinds of high-ranking magic comes and goes is bright.

When I close my eyes there, it feels like I am sitting facing a mirror in a pure white space.

Bring a wooden chair and sit down in front of a large mirror that reflects your entire body at once.

Then, in the mirror, a blond-haired man sitting with his hands clasped together with a serious expression will look straight at me.

A mirror reflects everything in the world equally, but sometimes it feels like something inside is peeking through.

The blonde man in the mirror image will be looking straight at me with a somewhat unfamiliar gaze.

Ed Rosstaylor glares at me.

These are the eyes that look back on a life in which all one could do was run away without even being able to properly fight against the enormous injustice that was attacking them.

He had too much work to do right now.

If I was kicked out of Ofilis Hall, I had to find a place to live right away. Although I still had a bachelor’s degree, there was no place to get support for tuition. Not only did I have food to eat and a few clothes to wear, but the bachelor’s reputation was so bad that I had nowhere to ask for help. .

Even at the place he arrived at after running away, there was no place for him to rest comfortably... He might have wanted to give up his life.

I gritted my teeth and struggled to escape the darkness of my family, but what I ended up with was this nothingness. Life is a futile thing.

What kind of life did I live after taking over the baton there?

I slept less than 4 hours a day and did my best to survive.

I made my home by tearing off tree bark, boiling it, eating it, wearing old clothes, and somehow incorporating magical theory into my body with my slow talent.

Only by gritting my teeth and holding on again and again was I able to create a simple but decent home.

A large cabin, a couple of wooden sheds, a good campfire for starting a fire, and a wooden rest area where Lucy sometimes rests. In addition to the hut where Jenica stays, Lortel has even begun to build his own villa, and even Belle comes in and out to help with the work.

Now, I can say that it has become a hideout that I don’t want to give away to anyone else, and that it has truly become my home.

The position within the academic department has also changed a lot.

My grades went up, I became a scholarship recipient, and I recently became the top student in my grade, and I have a lot of juniors who follow me.

As I walked around the school, there were quite a few people who said hello and looked at me. I know quite a few big people, so I never hear people say I have limited connections.

I envy you.

The source of the voice that suddenly rose up was me beyond the mirror.

After saying that, the man bowed his head and said nothing more.

I sat down in front of him and just stared at his lowered head.

The boy just bowed down for a while, wiping his face.

He had already lost the will to live. All I want is a comfortable rest.

So there was only one thing I could say.

That’s it, you can rest comfortably now.

If I stop, I’ve done enough... I can finish the next day.

The boy just kept his head down for a while, perhaps because my thoughts had reached him.

Sigh!

I grabbed Crepin’s right hand, which was poking at my shoulder. This was the first action I took even before my vision returned.

As Merilda’s rising wind enveloped the surroundings and removed some of the magic floating around... I grabbed Crepin’s right arm and threw him backwards.

Quang! Kwadangtang!

“Wow...”

Crepin let out a groan, not expecting a counterattack at all, probably because he thought it was a clean blow. It seemed like his back suffered a huge shock as he fell to the floor.

The shock also caused the sword to go deeper into my shoulder, but I gritted my teeth and pulled it out and threw it away. Blood flowed from the wound and intense pain welled up, but... I gritted my teeth, endured it, and trampled on the fallen Crepin.

Blood is dripping down.

The blood that was covered was already stuck, but my blood was added on top of it.

“Uh huh...”

I breathed out. I can’t breathe as I want. Nevertheless, I bit my teeth as if they would break and took out the dagger.

Even the ceremonial dagger was already soaked in blood.

I faced life-threatening situations several times. It’s the same both before and after coming to this world.

I have actually experienced death, been seriously injured, and collapsed from overwork on many occasions.

There were more than one or two trials that came to me as if they hated me, and they all tried to take my life, but I defeated them all.

I remembered what my comrades said to me when I was walking around the battlefield.

It wasn’t a nickname I liked very much because it didn’t have a good connotation.

“I am a cockroach.”

Without any intention of stopping the dripping blood, I pressed down on the crepin and looked down at him as I spoke.

Grinding his teeth, he lowered his dagger.

grasp!

With difficulty, he blocked it with his left arm, but by putting his weight on his shaky arm, he somehow managed to pierce the strange-looking arm and go down.

Crepin gritted his teeth again as he held on with all his strength.

“I will never die. Never.”

Along with the cool voice, even the fishy eyes seem to be frosty.

In the midst of that miasma, I somehow gritted my teeth and continued the struggle of strength.