Chapter 169

No, look, Mr. Yenika (2)

〈Sylvania’s Failed Sword Saint〉 It’s been quite a while since I entered, and I’ve interacted with and built relationships with countless people in this world as well.

In the process, there are people who manage to work things out and become special friends, and there are also many people whose relationships become more complicated through twists and turns.

All human relationships are like that. You can’t get along well with everyone.

I lived a busy life.

Although I’m currently taking a break, I can count on one hand the number of days I’ve had a good night’s sleep while rolling around since I first came to Aken Island.

The reason I lived like that is simple. Because I had to survive.

Real and realistic threats to my life came several times every semester.

Running out of food, suffering from cold or heat, getting sick... Not only was there a threat to survival, but the scenario also involved risking one’s life against the enemy, so every moment was a series of threats.

Reality is different from movies.

As if we were on a school field trip, while we were bickering with the opposite sex, enjoying the tightrope walk of relationships, and holding on to our pounding hearts, time passes and seasons change.

While you exchange silly conversations and create a believable atmosphere, the maintenance of the cabin doesn’t take care of itself, the hunting traps you set out are retrieved on their own, or the game you catch doesn’t rot and waits for you.

I saw lovers exchanging words of love even in a battlefield where bullets were flying.

Only in the movies can it become a beautiful love story between two lovers who resist a harsh fate.

However, the meaning of love in a real battlefield is nothing more or less than a weakness.

Real-life tragedies always happen suddenly without foreshadowing.

One day, when you suddenly look at your lover’s face on a stretcher, and see the beauty pierced by a bullet and the ugly bulging shape of the pupil... the feeling of love that was so heartbreaking turns into a curse and eats away at your body and mind. .

Although he acts as if he is the star of the whole world, the spotlight never shines on him.

Even the lover’s death is merely used as a passing background scene, just like the deaths of other soldiers.

Anyone who sees such a scene countless times will naturally come to realize it.

A situation where a blade is held right under the neck. If the time comes when you have to struggle in the face of death, you can only survive if you focus all your mind on survival.

How many times did I almost die during this trip to the Ross Taylor mansion?

The reason I was able to survive despite the numerous threats of death was because I focused solely on survival itself.

Because of my desire to survive, my comrades always called me ‘cockroach’.

Even if you throw him naked in the middle of the desert, he will somehow survive and die after being expelled.

I always self-suggestion.

Let’s prioritize tasks and do the necessary tasks first. I am a mechanical device that must be rational and reasonable anytime and anywhere.

Whether it is a battlefield where countless people die or an academy full of love and romance.

If there was a knife under my neck right now, the first thing I had to worry about was survival itself.

I lived with that thought in mind until I escaped from the battlefield and felt a little relieved, and I rarely felt shaken.

Cold reason always clearly judged the importance and priorities of matters.

― ‘A person whose heart is frozen.’

It wasn’t until then that an old story buried deep in my memory came to mind.

― ‘The harsh reality made you like that, but it’s not just cold snow and rain in the world. Surprisingly, there are many clear and sunny days as well as warm and cozy days.’

― ‘It’s human psychology that if you get used to looking up at the sky while wet with snow and rain, you can’t help but think that it’s going to rain tomorrow too.’

― ‘I hope that one day you will meet someone who can melt the thin ice in your heart like snow.’

Is it a memory from the battlefield or a memory after retirement? I didn’t remember it well, but... it was a strangely vague voice.

– ‘Until then, even if it’s cold, just fasten your collar and endure it well. ‘You can do it because you are strong.’

* * *

“Ed is always full of worries, but something feels different this time.”

Beyond the bonfire, Yenica Palover spoke with a heavy and serious expression.

Unfortunately, the reason I am so embarrassed is not that serious and serious. It’s simply because he’s wondering how to react to Merilda’s whims.

If he goes along with the whims of Merilda, who insists on kissing Jenica, he may be able to do so.

The time of being ashamed of kissing someone and making them hate themselves is long gone. If I wanted to, I could grab Jenica’s lower jaw right now and press my lips into it.

However, shouldn’t we also consider Yenika’s position as the victim?

If you kiss me right away, you’ll be confused as to what’s going on.

I don’t think I would ever feel happy if I found out that Merilda’s shallow whim had pushed me back and captured my lips.

The act of casually kissing a person in order to obtain information about the remains of the highest-ranking spirit known to Merilda... is, in some ways, an irresponsible act.

People who have never met me might not know, but Yenica Palover is the companion I have lived with for the longest time since coming to this world. I don’t want to treat you carelessly.

In that case, wouldn’t it be enough to just kiss each other person to person? Whatever Merilda’s whims are, let’s leave that aside.

Well, that’s fine. If you think about it again, that’s not true.

No matter what I thought, it was obvious that Jenica, who found out the truth, would think that I had kissed Merilda on a whim.

Then there is only one last remaining possibility.

I tell all of this to Jenica and ask her if she can kiss me as a favor.

...I’m not an expert on relationships, but I do know that the last move is the worst.

“I’m sorry, but I can’t tell you, Yenika. I think this is something I need to think about slowly and alone.”

After saying that, I tried to gloss over the conversation with Yenika.

However, it seems that it conveyed a different meaning to Jenica, as she suddenly puffed out her cheeks and opened her eyes sullenly.

“...really?”

Am I grumpy?

I thought we were in a relationship where we could share everything, even the deepest parts of our lives, but I guess the fact that there was a crucial part of us that we were hiding didn’t seem to be accepted very happily... Yenika started to grumble.

“Ugh!”

For a while, Yenica stamped her feet and made strange noises.

From my point of view, I have nothing to say. I can’t help but look at Yenika as if I’m embarrassed.

“...Ed, can I ask you a weird question this time?”

“...Do whatever you want.”

“Right now, I’m wondering whether it would be better to question Ed further and somehow get him to share his concerns, or whether it would be better to pretend that it is so and not see it.”

“...You’re consulting with me about that?”

Yenika grumbled but sighed deeply.

Then he looked up at the sky as if he was choosing something to say and fell into deep thought.

The sun is already setting. Actually, from my perspective, it feels like evening has finally arrived.

When would they die? This is because for a person who does not know how to carelessly engage in affection with another person, it creates a burden in itself.

In a situation where I cannot even take responsibility for my own life, am I not thinking at all about the position of the other person who will face my death?

The pain of broken heart is temporary. However, it will be healed someday. However, the pain of loss is much more likely to last a lifetime. It is more

difficult to overcome and stand up, and usually one falls down without being able to overcome it.

If I had known that fact, I should have acted more carefully.

It is absurd. I shouldn’t have interacted with others carelessly.

I’ve gone through many trials.

The scenarios were a lot twisted and the plot twisted a lot... But anyway, I managed to survive and come this far. The

struggle for the imperial throne, the family civil war, and the battle to subjugate Bellbroke. These are the remaining trials. I’ve been running for so long that I can barely handle it with one hand, but as is the case with trials, what remains is more difficult than what I went through.

If I finish all the trials and really get this Sylvania diploma in my hand, If I can take it.

If I can go out to Aken Island and live my life fully with the various abilities I have accumulated, my many histories, and my connections...

I will take care of all the disasters set out in the scenario of . If I can stand on my own two feet in this world...

If that happens, will I be able to escape from the fear of death... and be able to envision a bigger future?

The worry about ‘how will I survive?’ Will there come a day when we can break away from this and move on to worrying about ‘how will I live?’

“Because I lived like that, I became this kind of person. I’m not a person that’s particularly likable.”

There was the sound of burning twigs in the campfire.

Before I knew it, the sun was setting and night was creeping in.

As always, the night in the northern forest is truly peaceful when viewed from afar.

This camp, which was naturally embedded in the middle of the forest, seemed to have suddenly become part of the forest.

“Don’t say that, Ed.”

When I suddenly looked at Yenika, her expression had become much calmer. On the one hand, it seemed sad.

The redness has gone down a lot and I feel like I have regained my composure.

“Ed isn’t as cold-blooded as you think.”

“Thank you for even saying that.”

“It’s not just words. Ed said that earlier. I’m worried that no matter what I say, he’ll take it as polite consolation. That’s exactly how I feel right now.”

Yenika turned around again and looked straight at me.

“The reason Ed was so worried and embarrassed was because he was trying to be considerate of me. If I had kissed Merilda on a whim like Ed said, I would have felt very strange. I would have been happy right now, but...”

“....”

“What I said was a bit nonsense... Ha, anyway... Ed was right what he was thinking. It’s definitely... Merilda! You did such a useless thing! It’s okay... Don’t worry about this. Make them do it!”

Once again, Yenika’s lips trembled and she began to breathe quickly.

“Anyway... please pretend that what I just said never happened, Jenica. As I said, kissing you like this wouldn’t be polite to you, and there’s no need to play to Merilda’s whims.”

“Eh Ed... But the spirit remains that Merilda mentioned... are you really needed?”

The remains of the highest ranking spirit.

It is a mysterious artifact that will dramatically increase the abilities related to elemental arts, whose growth is slowly slowing down... but there are many ways to find out by messing around with Merilda.

There is no reason to stick to this method.

“I’ll take care of it, so you just... pretend you didn’t hear it. Actually, you’re okay, but I’m not okay with it before. I don’t really want to use you as a means of use.”

“Eh, Ed. I’m glad you said that, but... I actually came up with an innovative method.”

“...what?”

Yenika took a deep breath and continued speaking in a hesitant tone, as if she was reading awkward lines.

“In short, Ed thought that way because he was considerate of me, right? Even if I told him it was okay, he didn’t want to do something unpleasant like he was taking advantage of me...?”

After saying that, Yenika hurried down from the rock and approached me to talk.

“Actually, the solution is easier than you think.”

“I’m anxious...”

“You just have to change the subject of the action...”

“What?”

“I do it, not Ed.”

It happened before I could even answer what that meant.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and my breathing stopped for a moment.

If we talk about Yenika, she has a timid temperament and often hesitates in everything.

However, there were many times when a bold decision was shown when the situation reached the extreme or a quick decision was needed.

I didn’t know that such a temperament would work to this extent.

For a while, only the sound of insects crying spread through the forest. Other than that there is only silence.

There were only two mouths to communicate, but both were blocked.

“Huh...”

Yenika took a quick step back after finishing her work, covered her mouth, and took a deep breath on her own.

He widened his eyes, glanced at me a few times, and then bent his shoulders tightly on his own as if he had done a good job.

“...Uh... Yenny....”

“Ugh! I’m tired! I came by boat from my hometown and I’m so tired! I feel like I’m going to fall asleep! See you tomorrow!”

Before I could say anything, Yenika ran into her hut making a fuss.

This was because my breathing became heavier just by making eye contact.

Finally, the cabin door closed with a bang.

“No...”

Left alone in front of the campfire, I looked at the poker on the floor.

“...Look....”

Shouldn’t I be given some time to talk about my position as well?

From my perspective, it was like a lightning strike... so it was difficult to understand the situation right away.

Anyway... there is a strange feeling of awkwardness in the air.

The problem is that Yenica and I are cohabitants who live next door.

It was nice to see Yenika raising her shoulders and making a fuss just by making eye contact. I have to keep seeing him face to face starting tomorrow... but it was a huge accident.

I would have taken appropriate action if he had put an iron plate on his face and asked if it was okay.

If you run away like this... what will I do...

I was worried starting tomorrow morning, so I wiped my face several times.