CH 5

Posted on April 15, 2021by Soafp

TL: I think most of the people find it hard to follow the conversation. So I’m gonna put names behind the “” to make it more clear whos talking. But if I don’t know it either or some random guy/girl is talking, I will do it like this (???). Enjoy the chapter

“Why does God want to put me through trials……?” (Yuki)

I was looking at the blackboard, stunned. Last night, I suddenly became conscious and aware of the environment, and decided to start with what I could change that could help the environment, and replaced all my mechanical pencils with normal pencils. It was a way to reduce plastic. At the time, I was grinning with pleasure, but after class had started, I realized that I hadn’t sharpened them. These pencils are not sharpened. Why doesn’t anyone carry a pencil sharpener with them?

There were three brand new pencils that hadn’t been sharpened at all. I was helpless. Unsharpened pencils are as worthless as a pig that can’t fly. The only use for these things is to roll them around and play with them. What are you, an elementary school student? Thanks to this, I haven’t been able to take any notes in the morning class. Why don’t you just borrow a (mechanical) pencil, you ask? It’s too difficult for me, a sad loner. Besides, the whole point of me becoming aware of the environmental damages is that I would swear off mechanical pencils. So, to then start using it again, would be pointless. That’s why I had to go to the store.

As I was about to get up, someone stopped me.

“Yukito, would you like to have lunch with me?” (Suzurikawa)

“No, thank you.” (Yuki)

I couldn’t help but speak in the Kyoto dialect, even though I wasn’t from Kyoto. I have been there once before, but all I heard were the voices of foreign tourists, and I wondered “Is this Japan?” I even started questioning whether I was in some foreign country or not. 　

I don’t care who had asked me to go eat lunch with them, but I also didn’t bother to look up to see who had asked me. There was no way I could have misheard the voice. We’ve spent so much time together, Hinagi Suzurikawa. I feel a dull pain when I think of her.

“Suzurikawa, don’t try to get involved with me.” (Yuki)

“What? Why?　We’re classmates, aren’t we? And we’re childhood friends!” (Suzurikawa)

“That was a long time ago. Not anymore.” (Yuki)

“Why do you say that? That’s just your own decision, Yukito.” (Suzurikawa)

Hinagi Suzurikawa. A childhood friend I used to love. The person I mistakingly thought I had feelings for. I was the pathetic clown who tried to confess, but was rejected before I could.

“Suzurikawa, go eat with someone else. I don’t want to hurt your boyfriend’s feelings.”(Yuki)

“—-!” (Suzurikawa)

There was a shock in the classroom. Oh, no. In junior high school, it was well known that Suzurikawa had a boyfriend, but in high school, it was not so well-known. I might have carelessly leaked her personal information.

“Can’t you let it go……?” (Suzurikawa)

“I’m doing this for you, Suzurikawa. If you were my girlfriend, I wouldn’t want you getting close to someone of the opposite sex either. I’d not be as oppossed to it if that was someone was just a classmate, but if it’s a childhood friend it’s even worse. You wouldn’t like it if your boyfriend was hanging out with other women, would you?” (Yuki)

“Like I said, that’s–!” (Suzurikawa)

That’s exactly why I terminated the relationship between Suzurikawa and I. There is no way that any man would be so narrow-minded as to be jealous of a classmate having lunch with her, but when it comes to a childhood friend of the opposite sex, the story changes.

There’s no way I’m going to stay with her when Suzurikawa has chosen someone else. Seeing her so close to a childhood friend of the opposite sex would be unsettling for any boyfriend. Besides, Suzurikawa seems to really like her boyfriend. They even go out together and do other things like that. I guess that’s how close they are. If that’s the case, the only thing I can do is to keep my distance. I don’t know why Suzurikawa doesn’t realize such a simple thing. There’s no way we could keep our normal friendship.

“Sorry about this. Besides, I want to purchase something.” (Yuki)

Because I used to love her, I want her to be happy and I can’t be the reason for the break-up. There was no place for a heartbroken, pathetic man, in her heart. I’m the one who should stay away from Suzurikawa. Besides, what about now? Do I still love her? Perhaps I will never understand that.

Yukito Kokonoe’s bombshell announcement sent the classroom into a wild frenzy.

“What, she has a boyfriend?” (???)

“She’s so beautiful, she must have a boyfriend…….” (???)

“I was wanting to ask her out, I had my eyes on her.” (???)

“Who’s that guy anyway.” (???)

“Oh, by the way, when they were in junior high school—” (???)

“–STOP IT!” (Suzurikawa)

“…” (???)

“I’m sorry, but please …… don’t say anything more ……” (Suzurikawa)

A voice that sounded like a scream echoed through the classroom. It was refusal. She absolutely refused to allow them to talk about it. The haggard look of Suzurikawa denied anything and everything.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Suzurikawa-san. ……” (???)

The classroom was quiet for a moment. On the bright and lively time for the day, a grim silence prevailed during lunchtime.

“It’s my fault. …… It’s all my fault. ……” (Suzurikawa)

There was no one to hear Suzurikawa’s voice as she let out a small cry.

Why did I, of all people, buy two different kinds of anpan? Don’t people usually choose the same flavor? I can only say that it was youthful indiscretion. The eternal mystery was lying in a surprisingly familiar place. The school cafeteria was already full of people. I went outside to find a quiet place where I could be alone, and found a emergency staircase. Wouldn’t this be the perfect spot for me, a gloomy guy? Let’s eat it here.

“–Soma-san, I want you to go out with me.” (Male Senpai)

In the Utopia I arrived at, confessions were being made. Is this a confession spot? If so, the Utopia has already collapsed, but it’s unusual, because it’s the first time I’ve seen a confession scene. At any rate, I ignored all such exchanges and sat down on the stairs.

Bleh. The two sweet anpan were a mistake, after all. By the way, I use the school cafeteria and the store twice a week. My mom is busy, so I make my own lunch three times a week, but it’s too much trouble for me to do it every day, so I buy my lunches at the cafeteria or the store as well. Naturally, I make my sister’s lunch as well, but I thought it might be a good idea for her to start making her own lunch. I casually suggested that she should make her own lunch two times a week, but she gave me 5,000 yen. It was a bribe. She wouldn’t look me in the eye for some reason. Well, I don’t care if my sister is not good at it, because it will only result in disappointment.

“Um, ……, what do you want from us?” (Male Senpai)

For some reason, the man who had been confessing to her earlier spoke to me. He seemed to be my senpai.

“What? I’m sorry, we’ve never met before, have we? I don’t have any business with you.” (Yuki)

I don’t know what he’s talking about. I don’t have anything to do with him. What made you think that I needed something from you? I’m not sure why you’d need to involve me in such an important moment of your confession.

“Then why did you come here?” (Male Senpai)

“Oh, you mean that! No, I was simply looking for a place where I could be alone and relax. You can pretend, as if I am not here, like air, because I am a gloomy loner. I’m as tight-lipped as a mitsuobi armadillo. Now, go on, please continue with the confession.” (Yuki)

He twisted his head as if he didn’t understand, but he reluctantly agreed. I would be in trouble if he wouldn’t have agreed with me.

“Let’s see, ……, then, Soma-san, may I have your reply?” (Male Senpai)

A senpai (male) and another senpai (female) are having a tense exchange while glancing at each other. I think there is no need to worry about my presence, which is about the same as nitrogengas in the air, but this is why pretty people are so annoying.

“I-I’m sorry,” she said. (Soma)

“May I ask why?” (Male Senpai)

The anpan was too sweet in my mouth, and my body was furiously seeking water. In times like this, milk is the only way to go. I’m actually trying to grow taller.

“I don’t know you very well, so…” (Soma)

“How about going out with me so you can get to know me? Or do you have someone else you like? (Male Senpai)

“I’m sorry, it’s not like that.” (Soma)

“Haa. I get it. I’ll give up. Thank you for coming.” (Male Senpai)

Apparently, it’s over. The senpai (man) is leaving. He should feel guilty for disturbing the space of relaxation that I had just discovered, even for a senpai. Then, for some reason, senpai (woman) sits down next to me. No, you should hurry up and go back too.

“Haa. I’m in trouble, aren’t I? This kind of thing….” (Soma)

“I’m the one who’s this trouble right now.” (Yuki)

“Haha. What are you really doing here? You’re not confessing to me too, are you? (Soma)

“You have a great sense of self-love, senpai.” (Yuki)

“I don’t even know the guy very well, from earlier. If you were to confess your love for me without knowing me, I can’t possibly accept it, can I?” (Soma)

“…” (Yuki)

“Oi oi, why are you not listening? Are you really an underclassman? Aren’t you being too mean to me? Aren’t upperclassmen supposed to be respected?” (Soma)

“I’m more interested in the mystery of the two anpans.” (Yuki)

“Am I losing to an anpan……?” (Soma)

Get the hell out of here already! No matter how you look at it, she was a bad woman. I’m not sure why she suddenly started talking about her state of mind to an unrelated underclassman she’d never met before, but she might have mistaken me for a wall or something.

“Is it okay if you listen to me for a while? You don’t have friends anyway, right?” (Soma)

“Arrogant senpai!” (Yuki)

“I’m sorry, did I offend you?” (Soma)

“No, you’re a arrogant senpai. I’m just impressed, because all around me there are people who won’t admit that I’m gloomy and alone.” (Yuki)

“Well, suddenly I don’t want to admit it either.” (Soma)

“No way, you arrogant senpai.” (Yuki)

“I mean, can you stop that? It’s embarrassing!” (Soma)

“Would you prefer to be the pompous senpai?” (Yuki)

“None of it, None of it! You’re joking, right?” (Soma)

“What should I call you then? – Oh, I’m not interested, nevermind.” (Yuki)

“I’m starting to get angry! You’re really pissing me off!” (Soma)

The atmosphere of this person has changed since senpai (male) was here. I had the impression that she was ladylike, but she seems to have a very cheerful personality.

“I’m Kyoka Soma, and I’m in my second year.” (Soma)

“Why didn’t I choose cream buns……” (Yuki)

“Listen to me! Please be more interested in me than bread!” (Soma)

“Alright…” (Yuki)

“Why do you look so uncomfortable? Hey, what’s your name? Tell me your name!” (Soma)

“Yukito Kokonoe.” (Yuki)

“Heh. Your name is Kokonoe-kun. Come to think of it, there’s also a girl in the second year with that name. (Soma)

“Ah, it must be my sister.” (Yuki)

“Eh!? You’re Yuri Kokonoe’s little brother?” (Soma)

“I think we need to do a DNA test.” (Yuki)

“I’m too afraid to laugh at your self-mockery, so I’ll do it in moderation, okay?” (Soma)

“Okay.” (Yuki)

For me, it’s not self-mockery, but I can’t be careless, because I don’t know what my sister will do to me if I tell her this.

“Hmm. Do you think you’ll ever come back here?” (Soma)

“Sometimes I eat in the classroom, so maybe once or twice a week.” (Yuki)

“I see. Maybe I’ll come here once in a while.” (Soma)

“You’re a pain in the a*s, ……. but in a good way.” (Yuki)

“You can’t just say “in a good way” and expect everything to be okay!” (Soma)

“I didn’t know that. …… I’m still learning things.” (Yuki)

“I was a little depressed, but talking to you made me feel better. Thanks.” (Soma)

“Can I have a consultation fee?” (Yuki)

“Haha. Sure. I’ll buy you a cream bun next time.” (Soma)

“Goddess. ……. I’ll call you Goddess from now on.” (Yuki)

“Can you please stop?　I’m afraid you might actually call me that, because you seem like the type who can’t take a joke.” (Soma)

“My life is a joke, you know.” (Yuki)

“That’s why it’s not funny!” (Soma)

In the end, I ended up talking to my senpai until the end of my lunch break, and my plan to be a “gloomy” loner was foiled once again. When will I be able to achieve my goal? I’m just asking for a quiet school life.