CH 9

Posted on April 19, 2021by Soafp

[Hinagi Suzurikawa PoV]

Ten minutes, thirty minutes, an hour, two hours. I kept looking at the screen of my phone over and over again. After dinner, I would take a bath. That’s how time flies. But no matter how long it took, my messages remained unread.

(Does this mean that my messages are not worth looking at……?)

This question never left my mind. I felt like if I said it out loud and I listened to it myself, I would admit to it, so I couldn’t say it out loud. A buzzing, uncomfortable feeling. I can’t believe that we used to be able to talk naturally …… and now we can’t even communicate digitaly …….

Waiting for a decision, I clutched my phone in my hands and waited for the right moment. I’m like an electronic slave. My emotions are being controlled by my phone. It’s around 11pm. I have to go to bed. I have school tomorrow, too.

What should I look like when I see Yukito? How can I ask him why he is ignoring me?　There was no way I could. If he says it’s, because he doesn’t like me, then it’s all over. We barely have any bond. We were only childhood friends.

The fact that we are classmates is the only thing that connects me and Yukito. But I felt that if that thin thread was broken, we would surely become strangers.

I can’t help hating my own personality. I can’t help hating myself. If I had been able to express my feelings honestly, none of this would have happened.……

It didn’t have to be that horrible. I was scolded, ridiculed, and angered by my family, and my sister, who adored Yukito, still hasn’t forgiven me. I can’t even argue with them when they say I’m a stupid woman. In fact, I am stupid and foolish.

Even though, I love him so much. And yet, I couldn’t tell him how I felt, or what I want to say, even once. It’s midnight now. I check my phone one more time. The message I sent was still unread.

There is a myth that women can’t read maps, but I am feeling lost in my own life. If only I had a map I wouldn’t be lost, but unfortunately there is no map of my life. I’m lost.

In the end, I thought about it for a long time, but it was impossible for me to figure out where the problem was in the theory of not needing a smartphone.

It’s funny. I’m good at studying, even though I look like this. In junior high school, I used to study in my spare time, since I was a normal student, I took my school work seriously in order to not cause any trouble for my family.

I never scored less than 400 points in any of the five subjects, and I was usually ranked in the single digits at around 450 points. Even if the number of subjects increased to 10, it wouldn’t be any different.

After all, if I can’t solve it, then I can only think of it as an unsolved mystery. In order to solve it, I would need the help of a mysterious or suspicious psychic, but unfortunately it’s difficult to find one in my small circle of friends. In fact, if I had that kind of power, I would solve all my woman problem.

“Yukito, you’ve got some serious dark circles under your eyes and why do you have a pacifier in your mouth?” (Miho)

Miho Kouki, a handsome and fresh-looking man who is known for his wide range of friendships. He might have one or two acquaintances with excellent senses.

“Yesterday, my mom wouldn’t let me go. She said she was going to sleep with me, because she was worried about me, so she tied me to the bed and I became her pillow and also became an infant. Babuh.” [Baby sound] (Yuki)

“What the heck is going on here? What on earth is …… No, don’t tell me anything. I’m afraid to ask!” (Miho)

“I thought that if I would imagine what it would be like to be a baby, I might be able to get to the truth, but it was useless.” (Yuki)

“What should I do? …… My friend’s incoherence is getting more and more impressive.” (Miho)

Yukito Kokonoe (16) Baby form. My mom smelled so sweet. I was so nervous that I couldn’t even make the slightest movement, like a frozen tuna, and I spent the night in agony. For now, I put the pacifier away, because it was hard to talk.

“Thanks to this, I’m completely sleep deprived. If you know anyone with ESP abilities, please introduce them to me.” (Yuki)

“No, I don’t! Just so you know, I have healthy friendships, okay?” (Miho)

“No, not when I’m around, you’re not.” (Yuki)

“You’re starting to scare me again.” (Miho)

Lack of sleep has slowed down my thinking. My brain was craving for sugar. Pudding, pudding, pudding. I’ve left my phone untouched since then, but now that my mom has cried, I can’t cancel it. I’m sure she won’t let me.

However, once you have experienced this feeling of freedom, it is undeniable that you will be unable to go back to being a slave again.

Although Yukito Kokonoe himself doesn’t know it at all, He is one of the major talk of this class 1-B. As a man who had done something wrong as soon as he entered the school, he had attracted the attention of many of his classmates. A man who caused a lot of trouble in his class every day.

Whenever Yukito Kokonoe started to talk, most of his classmates would listen to him. This is why some of the groups in the class, especially the group of girls who are fond of love affairs, tend to gather near Yukito Kokonoe.

It’s all about the love. Because of Yukito Kokonoe, the concept of school hierarchy in this class has completely collapsed.

If either of the two girls got close to Yukito Kokonoe, the tension in the class would rise.

However, the seriousness of the situation made it impossible to ask for more details, and the attention towards him only increased. Yukito Kokonoe is a man who is treated like a daytime drama.

He is often the main topic of conversation in the class group chat. There was even a group that Yukito Kokonoe was not invited to, so they could talk about him without him knowing. In the “Today’s Kokonoe” section, his movements were reported on a daily basis. When a tip came in that Yukito Kokonoe was the younger brother of Yuri Kokonoe, a second year student, things got really exciting.

So, in contrary to his intentions, Yukito Kokonoe, who calls himself a “gloomy loner,” is getting a lot of attention, but he is not aware of any of this. But he doesn’t care. He was completely carefree.

“Yuki, why did you not respond?　Do you hate me that much …… or ……?” (Kamishiro)

An early morning classroom. A feeling of tension prevails in class. This is it. In an instant, the class shares a common understanding that this is it. Shiori Kamishiro. She was a popular girl who was cheerful and easygoing with everyone.

Now that a certain amount of time has passed and Kamishiro’s character is known to some extent, more and more people are questioning Kamishiro’s attitude towards Yukito Kokonoe.

If she approached Yukito Kokonoe, it would be a sign that something was going to happen again.

“–?　What are you talking about?” (Yuki)

“You don’t have to decline my calls. I know you hate me ……–but!” (Kamishiro)

“Kamishiro, calm down, you’re not getting enough DHA or EPA [Omega 3 acid]. I suggest you eat some blue fish. Mackerel is good. I ate a lot of blue fish when I broke my arm.”

“–that time …… I’m sorry about that!” (Kamishiro)

Shiori Kamishiro was crying. It seems that I hurt someone and made her cry again, just like my mother did yesterday. I guess this is what they call yesterday’s day.

But this time, I don’t even know why anymore. I don’t even know what Kamishiro was talking about. Since when did this woman become a radio wave type of woman? Were there electronic slaves here, too? I was sure it was my fault, but I had no idea what was going on, and the problem was always in my mind.

What should I do in such a situation? What is the right thing to say to them? I don’t know. How could I know? Yesterday and now today. I can’t understand anything.

Ah, yeah. Come to think of it, what did you do yesterday, mom? What did she do to me?　I think back to last night. I have a good memory, you know!

I don’t know what it was, but at that moment, I felt something warm spread throughout my whole body. I don’t know what it was or what the feeling was, but I know it wasn’t a burb. I carelessly sucked on the pacifier.

That’s why I approached Kamishiro and hugged her.

“I have no idea what you’re talking about. Rejecting incoming calls? I would never do that.” (Yuki)

“What? …… Hey, Yuki!” (Kamishiro)

Her eyes were red and swollen from tears. However, Kamishiro’s pale face instantly turned red. There was no way I would have rejected her call. There is no need to reject incoming calls when the only calls you get are from your family or your mobile service provider.

I don’t use my phone much, so I don’t even know how to block incoming calls in the first place. I can’t keep up with electronic devices. It’s amazing that young people these days are able to use such things. ……

“But, but! I tried to call you. But Yuki didn’t pick up. ……” (Kamishiro)

“Phone call? Just so you know, I don’t use my phone anymore. It doesn’t even have a battery.” (Yuki)

“Eh? What? Why?” (Kamishiro)

“Because I’m no longer a slave to electronics.”(Yuki)

“I’m sorry, I don’t know what you’re talking about. …… So, then you didn’t reject my calls because you hate me, did you ……? (Kamishiro)

“I told already I would never do that” (Yuki)

“—-!?” (Kamishiro)

Kamishiro’s body jumps. I pat her back, just like my mother did to me yesterday. I feel like a guardian caring for a child.

When did I have a child of my own age? Hi, I’m Dad Kamishiro. It sounded unnecessarily immoral. She’s a real handful, but the soft, citrusy smell makes me feel a little better.

“Anyway, calm down. If you have something to say, say it properly. Babuh.” (Yuki)

“Well, I think that’s always Yuki’s side.……” (Kamishiro)

“Babuh-babuh-babuh?” (Yuki)

“Why are you sucking on a pacifier, ……?” (Kamishiro)

“For unavoidable reasons, I had to go back to being an infant.” (Yuki)

“Haha. I have no idea what you’re talking about.” (Kamishiro)

“Are you all right?” (Yuki)

“Yeah, thanks.” (Kamishiro)

Contrary to the tragic expression she wore earlier, this time she looked somewhat embarrassed. I don’t know why. Has she calmed down for now? I put away the pacifier.

After all, my mother’s teachings are perfect. I couldn’t have handled the situation by myself, as I don’t have children, but I got through it by imitating my mother on the spur of the moment. It’s a parent’s role to silence a crying child. I’m going to worship my mother when I get home.

“You know, ……, I’m going to say it! I’ll say it properly this time!” (Suzurikawa)

The door to the classroom opens with a bang. She was just in time. It was unusual for her to arrive at school at the last minute. The person who came in was an honor student and my former childhood friend. She didn’t look good or well.

“Yukito…..?” (Suzurikawa)

Hinagi Suzurikawa just muttered stunnedly and collapsed on the spot.

[Shiori Kamishiro PoV]

I called him with determination. However, it ended up nowhere. No matter how many times I called, the call didn’t go through. A phone that won’t connect. Only the sound of tuut tuut [when a call won’t connect you hear beep sound] keeps ringing incessantly. At first, I thought I was somewhere with no signal.

But it was night time when I made the call. Could it be that the power went off? I took some time and tried again. The call did go through. A vague feeling of uneasiness gradually came over me. Could it be that Yuki is blocking my calls?

I can’t say for certain but the possibility is there. In fact, it’s probably natural that I have been blocked. I don’t think Yuki would want to talk to me after what I did to him. There’s no reason for him not to reject me. If someone I hated to the point that I don’t even want to talk to them, calls me, I might would have chosen to reject the call as well.

It was no use. It was too late. I was sinking deeper into the darkness. My eyes went black with despair. I couldn’t stop crying. I cried, broke down, was exhausted and I fell asleep.

When I arrived at school the next day, my eyes were immediately glued to him. Today, he was talking to Kouki again. I wish I could talk to him as casually as Kouki does to him, like I did back then… As I think about this, the tears that I thought had dried up yesterday well up in my eyes again.

Driven by emotions, as if impulses were pushing me forward, I threw words at Yuki.

“Yuki, why did you not respond? Do you hate me that much …… or ……?” (Kamishiro)

If you say you hate me, so be it. I must have completely vanished from his mind. He is in my mind, but I am no longer in his. Trembling words coming out of a trembling body. I didn’t want to ask him, but I couldn’t help it, so I spoke up.

I’m sure he’ll say that he hates me. Such feelings of resignation filled my heart. But the answer that came back from him was….

What? What’s going on? My mind went completely blank. I didn’t even know what I was talking about. Before I knew it, I was being hugged by Yuki. In the middle of the morning classroom.

But I didn’t have time to worry about it at all, I was just happy and embarrassed that he didn’t reject my calls.

It was so warm. I wondered when the last time was someone had done this to me. It must have been since I was a child. I was wrapped in a sense of security. Something warm slowly covered my cold heart. It didn’t take me long to realize that it was his kindness.

Yuki is teaching me. I don’t know what he meant about breaking free from slavery, but he is not using his phone, he is just leaving it unattended.

I don’t know why he was doing it, but it was always easy for Yuki to do the most bizarre things. An unprincipled classmate. It was a small thing, really. There was nothing to distinguish Yuki from me.

The light he emits illuminates my dark heart. I still have hope, and I think I can recover the lost time. He is kind. He remained gentle.

I wondered if there was still a possibility that he might like me in the future. I am a fighter. That’s why I said it. I said the words I thought I would never say.

I’m not going to betray my feelings, this time I will say “I love you”.

“You know, ……, I’m going to say it!　I’ll say it properly this time!” (Suzurikawa)

At that moment, Hinagi Suzurikawa entered the classroom. I don’t want to lose to her. I don’t want to lose to anyone. I have had enough of regrets. So I look at his face and smiled. I don’t want to disappear from his mind. I don’t want to forget this warmth. This time, I’m going to face it!