CH 26

Posted on May 24, 2021by Soafp

TL: Sponsored chapter.

As usual, I was in front of the door. A single room in an apartment building. I rang the doorbell as usual, but my mental state was different from usual. An outside light illuminates the darkness. Silence surrounds me, I’ve told her I will be there today. It’s an ordinary day, just like any other.

The person I’m looking for appears right away, as if she’s been waiting for me. She was standing there with a familiar smile on her face, smiling kindly at me as she always does. But today is a different kind of day. This is where it all began, of a person named Yukito Kokonoe. It all started here, in this room, where I am now.

“Yuki-chan. I’ve been waiting for you! Come in, come in, let’s have some sushi.” (Sekka)

“It’s been a while. But first, may I have a word with you?” (Yuki)

“What’s wrong?” (Sekka) 

“You’re the one who made me like this, didn’t you, Sekka?” (Yuki)

“Did you find out, Yuki-chan!?” (Sekka) 

Her pupils dilated. A look of mixed surprise. Joy and loneliness. It seemed to me as if the opposite emotions were intricately intertwined.

Sekka Kokonoe. She’s my mother’s sister, and I guess you could say she’s another mother to me. Sekka-san spoils me a lot. It was after I ran away from home that I started to have a real connection with her.

After my sister told me to disappear  and I didn’t go home, I kept walking in the opposite direction from home. The only thing that kept me going was the urge to disappear. The next thing I knew, I was in police custody. I remember my mother and sister were crying in front of me.

I had a broken bone and had to be hospitalized. On the day I was discharged from the hospital, my mom and Sekka-san were fighting at home. However, it was mainly Sekka who was accusing my mom, and she couldn’t say anything. Sekka was furious and said, “If you can’t raise him, I will!” I couldn’t do anything about it, all I could do was stare blankly at the scene.

There is something I remember. At that time, somewhere in my heart, I wanted my mother to stop me. No matter how much I said that Sekka was my mother’s sister, she was not my mother. I wanted her to argue that she wouldn’t let that happen. I wanted her to protect me. But my mother couldn’t say anything because of Sekka’s wordsmanship, so Sekka took me in and we lived together for a month.

The look in my mother’s eyes when we were about to part. Why did she come back and tell me that she was relieved that I was no longer a nuisance? I wonder if she thought that I should have just disappeared. These feelings swelled up inside me. Rejected by my sister and abandoned by my mother, I have no value in existence. I have to disappear. Sekka hugged me as I cried.

“Did you really notice, Yuki-chan? My suggestion?” (Sekka) 

“Yes, I went to the hospital to confirm it.” (Yuki)

I questioned my thoughts and headed to the hospital. I went to the psychiatrist and found out that there was some kind of restriction in my thoughts. I don’t need to know the details of what they are. There’s only one person who can do that for me. Sekka was the only person who could help me become the Yukito Kokonoe I am today.

Sekka majored in psychology at university. She often talked about it to me. If that’s the case, then she knows everything about me. She never lied to me. I was confident that if I asked her, she would tell me.

“Why…… did you tell me that?” (Yuki) 

“Do you remember when we went to Sky Tree?” (Sekka) 

I knew it was true. Since that day, Sekka-san…

“It was right after you took me in, right?” (Yuki) 

“Yes. When I saw how Yuki-chan looked at that time, I thought, “If I don’t do something, Yuki-chan will give up on his life again. I was sure he would try to disappear again.” (Sekka) 

“I don’t think you were wrong about that” (Yuki) 

“I was scared. I was afraid that Yuki-chan would try to disappear again. I was just lucky that you survived that time. If it happens again, I might’ve been too late this time.” (Sekka)

“Is that why you twisted my thoughts?” (Yuki) 

“Yes. What I did was not that big of a deal. I just put a little trick on Yuki-chan.” (Sekka) 

“A trick?” (Yuki) 

Sekka smiled to herself. In the living room, we just piled on to the words as if we were trying to figure out what we had done so far.

“Yes. I put a mind-set on Yuki-chan so that you do not want to die and so that you don’t want to disappear.” (Sekka) 

“How is that possible?” (Yuki) 

“Yuki-chan, you thought you were unnecessary, didn’t you?” (Sekka) 

“Yes.” (Yuki) 

“Yuki-chan thought his own existence was unimportant. That’s why I guided Yuki-chan to strongly recognize himself as Yukito Kokonoe.” (Sekka) 

When I heard that, a question was cleared up in my mind: I had been repeatedly recognizing myself as Yukito Kokonoe. It was all because of Sekka-san. 

“But the truth is, you should have been able to figure that out sooner.” (Sekka) 

The tone of Sekka’s voice drops a notch.

“My sister loves you too, Yuki-chan. It’s the same with Yuri. So it was a simple spell that could be solved immediately if Yuki-chan could understand it properly. It was supposed to be a really simple spell, nothing too serious or specialized. But……” (Sekka) 

“?” (Yuki) 

“Yuki-chan had bad luck with women. Even after that, there were always things that happened to Yuki-chan that tried to hurt you. It was really bad in junior high school, wasn’t it? Each time, the spell I casted would bind Yuki-chan more tightly.” (Sekka) 

“Is that why my mental strength is so strong?” (Yuki) 

Well, I was mistaken. It’s not because I’m broken that I don’t get hurt. It was a trade-off between not being hurt and being broken. But if it wasn’t for that, I’m sure I would have given up on my life at some point.

“Yuki-chan was not hurt by the spell I casted. But every time I did, Yuki-chan will be broken. By that time, I couldn’t do anything about it anymore. Every time I saw you, all I could do was watch you break.” (Sekka) 

“Why didn’t you tell Mom or Nee-san?” (Yuki) 

“I couldn’t stand the two of them always being so close to Yuki-chan. I can’t stand the sight of Yuki-chan breaking down.” (Sekka) 

“Then, Sekka-san…” (Yuki) 

Sekka-san was crying. She’s my aunt, and she has a vague resemblance to my mother. I’ve made her cry again. I thought I didn’t want to make anyone else cry. Why do I always have to–

I was hugged. It was the same as my mother’s, too. But the smell was a little different from my mother’s. Thinking back, I was always hugged like this by Sekka-san. I’m sure it was Sekka’s way of spoiling me since I couldn’t be spoiled by my mother.

“You’ve finally realized that you’re loved, haven’t you, Yuki? I don’t want you to disappear. We don’t want Yuki-chan to disappear. That’s what everyone thinks.” (Sekka) 

“Yes. Maybe…… no, if I do that, it will make you sad, I think.” (Yuki) 

“I’m sorry…… I gave you a hard time.…… I’m sorry!” (Sekka) 

Sekka was crying as if she was washing away everything she had ever done. I don’t know how much I’ve made this person worry about me.　This person has done so much for me. Even though she’s my mother’s sister, you’re supposed to be nothing but a stranger.. Why–

“Why are you doing so much for me, Sekka?” (Yuki) 

“You know what I’m talking about, don’t you?” (Sekka) 

“Is it because you love……?” (Yuki) 

“It’s not a surprise. I love you. I love you, Yuki-chan!” (Sekka) 

It was the third time I felt that touch on my lips.

It was so sweet and soft.

I wondered why people were so warm.

“There was only one thing I wanted to ask. You’ve always been the same in front of me, haven’t you, Yuki-chan? The mindset I put on Yuki-chan was inexplicably advanced. So why?” (Sekka) 

Yes, the usual ridiculous thoughts. It rang true in front of Sekka. I had never thought of such a thing before. It was strange to think back, but the answer was so simple and clear.

It must have been–

“Sekka-san has never hurt me, not once.” (Yuki) 

Yes, she had been protecting me all this time. I was about to die, and she was saving me. I thought I was rejected by everyone but she had always given me love. I wondered how much love she had given to me since then, until today. It can only be described as devotion. She’s been giving it to me for so long. My head naturally bowed.

“Thank you very much.” (Yuki) 

“Yuki-chan…… Yuki-chan!” (Sekka) 

Sekka-san was laughing. I’m sure the tears were not from sadness, they shone so brightly that even I could tell.

“I’m full.” (Sekka) 

“I think it’s been a while since I’ve had sushi.” (Yuki) 

“Really?” (Sekka) 

“Neither my mother nor my sister are good with horseradish.” (Yuki) 

“Oh, that’s right, my sister isn’t. But Yuri is the same.” (Sekka) 

Me and Sekka-san were taking a bath together. It always happens every time I come to Sekka’s place, so I’m not embarrassed now. Nevertheless, my gaze was wandering in the void.

“Now that the spell has been broken, Yuki-chan may get hurt in the future. Will you still be okay?” (Sekka) 

“I’m fine. There are many people who can help me.” (Yuki) 

“I see. I’m relieved.” (Sekka) 

“You can help me too, right, Sekka?” (Yuki) 

“Ah mooh!　Today, Yuki-chan is 50% cuter than the last time I saw you, and I don’t know if I can handle it.” (Sekka) 

There were always many friends. There was as much good as there was bad. I just didn’t see it. Instead of being hurt, I’ve been broken. But that’s over now. Even if I get hurt, I don’t want to be broken so that I can make somebody else sad. My strongest mental strength, like super-hard nanotubes, is gone. I don’t need it now. But that’s okay. Maybe I can finally get my emotions back from now on. Today is the end of my invincibility.

“But…” (Yuki) 

I couldn’t help but laugh.

What a mess. I’ve gotten so used to it. It’s no surprise. It’s been far too long. I’ve known him for almost ten years now. No matter what I say, it has always been a part of me, it’s already me.

“It seems that I also like the Yukito Kokonoe of the past. I don’t want to lose what Sekka-san has given me for me.” (Yuki) 

“Yuki-chan, ……? (Sekka) 

I got up from the tub with a bang.

“It’s me, Yukito Kokonoe, who will use the flat-rate benefits to buy manufacturing stocks in preparation for a confrontation between the US and China!” (Yuki) 

It’s not the most expensive thing you can buy with 100,000 yen, but it will add up. After all, considering the current world situation, I don’t know how long I can stay in Japan in peace. This is not a time for peace-loving people. It was absolutely hilarious. Yes, this is who I am, isn’t it? It’s not a fake personality. It’s not a fake. It was different. This is me.

“You look great, Yuki-chan!　And that…… bottom one is magnificent, too.” (Sekka) 

Sekka’s cheeks are flushed red. What? Wait a minute. What am I showing off to Sekka-san?　Aren’t I being too brazen?　It’s true that Sekka-san and I have been taking baths together since we were little, but I’m still an adolescent. Yes.

“Don’t worry!　I have prepared a rubber for you. If you want, I’m fine without it.” (Sekka) 

“No, no, no, that’s not it!” (Yuki) 

“I’m the one who can’t let you escape, right, Yuki-chan?” (Sekka) 

“I feel a sigh on my neck!?” (Yuki) 

I was not wearing sunglasses and I did not have a beard. No, I didn’t.

[Sekka’s PoV]

Yuki-chan is breathing adorably in his sleep. This day has finally arrived. For us, today is the “promised day”. We have been waiting for this day. I wanted Yuki-chan to realize that he was loved as I watched him break down for a long time.

Yuki-chan said that I never hurt him, but the truth is different. I was the one who hurt Yuki-chan the most. If I hadn’t done what I did, we wouldn’t have gotten into this mess. Still, at that time, I had no choice but to do what I did. I didn’t want him to die. That was my only wish.

But he said thank you. I felt as if I had been rewarded. Yuki-chan affirmed what I had done. I felt as if the fog had finally lifted and I couldn’t stop crying. I knew that Yuki-chan would be fine now. He had realized it himself.

Yuki-chan and I met when he was much younger. I don’t think he even remembers. At that time, I was troubled by many things. It was a time when I was unsure of what I should do. At that time, I had a chance to take care of Yuki-chan at my sister’s house. Even then, Yuki-chan was an easy child to take care of, but one day, he called me “Mama”. We are sisters. My sister and I have similar facial features. I was sure he would have misunderstood me. Yuki-chan came to me unsteadily, and when he called me that, he fell asleep. He looked even more innocent than he does now.

At that moment, all my doubts disappeared from my mind. I was blown away by how trivial my worries had become. Petty worries were insignificant. There are more important things in life, I thought as I looked at Yuki-chan’s sleeping face.

I couldn’t bear the thought of Yuki-chan going through something like that. For the first time, I felt a strong resentment towards my sister. What I didn’t expect was that Yuki-chan would have bad luck anyway. He was always getting into trouble. It might be his character, but at least his young mind could not stand it.

I wanted to do something to help him. It was just a little help. A little coping mechanism. At first, it was just a spell that would be quickly solved. I didn’t think it would turn out to be something that would last this long. But it’s finally over. Yuki-chan told me that he had someone who could help him. So it’s okay. I don’t need any more spells to protect Yuki-chan’s heart.

I don’t have to interfere anymore. I’m sure that from now on, Yuki-chan won’t come to me as much as she has in the past. I’ll miss you …….

“……Sekka-san……” (Yuki) 

I wonder if he’s talking in his sleep. Munching and mumbling, Yuki-chan is muttering. No, no, no, no, no!　No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!　I have been the one who has been tormenting Yuki-chan all this time. I was the one who broke him. Even though I think so, and my thoughts are judging so, when I see Yuki-chan, I can’t resist. I can’t resist the urge to spoil him. Because I love him so much.

I knew that when Yuki-chan realized the truth, he would surely hate me. No wonder. I’m the cause of all this. Yuki-chan has the right to hate me. And yet, instead, he thanked me. I hadn’t seen his smile since the day he called me mom when I was much younger.

Until now, I had felt guilty and obligated.

But if Yuki-chan forgives me, then from now on…

It’s not worth it.

If I told my friends, they would question my sanity.

It’s a hard fact that you can’t change the age difference.

But still, I can’t stop myself.

I can’t cover up my feelings.

I’m in love with this boy in front of me right now.

Ed- Well now we know how Yuki’s mentality was so tough and we now have a m**f the which is a W but if there are any mistakes or questions please comment them down below and as usual I hope you enjoyed chapter 26 of the series