Lu Xiaobei walked out the door, Yu Xiaoya returned to her room, taking her mother's phone. "Mom, do you have a note with grandma's number? Since grandma changed her landline last year, I haven't memorised the number."
From time to time Xiaoya did mention Lu Xiaobei. "Yeah, she did leave but she came back to Nancheng today."
Xiaoya's heart grew uneasy, however, she still thought her mother shouldn't have noticed anything. "That's because I asked her to buy me some skincare products while she was in the Netherlands, so today intentionally went to pick her up so I could bring them back." After the cabinet was filled, Lu Xiaobei had placed the skincare products directly on the table. So at current, Xiaoya was glad Lu Xiaobei had left some proof. Pointing to the bottles on the table, she continued, "There right there."
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
Xiaoya: I came out.
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
Tears poured from Xiaoya's eyes. She cried out honestly, "I didn't fall in love with some gangster!"
Xiaoya's mother didn't respond to her but instead asked, "Didn't you tell me Lu Xiaobei left the country after her college entrance exams?"
"Alright. Alright. Alright." These three 'alrights' spoken by Xiaoya's mother were different from her earlier affirmations. These three 'alrights' only made Xiaoya feel as though a brewing storm was nearing.
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
Her curtains were still open. The lights of the building across from hers had been torn off, and in her own house, there had been no stirrings for a long time. Xiaoya had no idea what the current time was, s she took her phone from her tissue box and saw there were two unread messages from Lu Xiaobei.
Physically, the distance between them was merely a few metres, and was considerably short, yet it felt as though vast mountains and rivers stood between them. It was nothing like before when Lu Xiaobei was in the Netherlands. Because despite there being over seven-thousand kilometres between them at that time, they did not have any obstacles in their way.
At the dinner table, Xiaoya's chopsticks froze. "I'm sure. I like liberal arts more."
With a sigh, Xiaoya's father turned and left her room.
From time to time Xiaoya did mention Lu Xiaobei. "Yeah, she did leave but she came back to Nancheng today."
"What's this?" Xiaoya's mother asked.
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
Xiaoya's mother snapped, "Look directly at my eyes and answer the question!"
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
That's... that's...
Xiaoya's heart grew uneasy, however, she still thought her mother shouldn't have noticed anything. "That's because I asked her to buy me some skincare products while she was in the Netherlands, so today intentionally went to pick her up so I could bring them back." After the cabinet was filled, Lu Xiaobei had placed the skincare products directly on the table. So at current, Xiaoya was glad Lu Xiaobei had left some proof. Pointing to the bottles on the table, she continued, "There right there."
Lu Xiaobei: I'm downstairs... in your building.
Xiaoya tried to take the initiative on the topic. She added even more details so as to not only quell the tension in her heart, but also to add some credibility to her words.
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
Xiaoya tried to take the initiative on the topic. She added even more details so as to not only quell the tension in her heart, but also to add some credibility to her words.
At the dinner table, Xiaoya's chopsticks froze. "I'm sure. I like liberal arts more."
Second Update
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
Xiaoya's mother cleared her bed, intending to fold Xiaoya's blanket.
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
After a long while passed, Xiaoya's mother turned and took hold of Xiaoya's hand. "Break up with her."
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
Xiaoya had been unusually clever recently. She only thought she would be accompanying her dad to Little Nancheng for his annual retreat, but despite her finding it strange the retreat would go on for half a month, she asked no questions and simply packed her bag full of question papers and reference materials. After a moment of hesitation, she took out her phone and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag.
"Did something happen? Why haven't you come down?"
A man as thick-skinned as Xiaoya' father hadn't noticed in the slightest the cold war occurring between the mother-daughter pair over the past few days.
A man as thick-skinned as Xiaoya' father hadn't noticed in the slightest the cold war occurring between the mother-daughter pair over the past few days.
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
"What's this?" Xiaoya's mother asked.
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
Xiaoya nervously turned on the flashlight of her own phone, also waving it towards Lu Xiaobei.
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
Xiaoya's face paled, wanting very much to retreat instinctively but the desk behind her prevented such an action.
Her mother: "In Yunta Town. Although this high school's advanced classes are not as good as the ones in your former high school, the management here is strict. It's also an especially good school for liberal arts, as every year there are a lot of students graduating from here that enter top universities."
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
That's... that's...
After eating, Xiaoya volunteered to wash the dishes but her father drove her away saying, "Go to the living room and watch some television with your mother."
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
As her mother, whatever clothes Xiaoya had she knew them all well, and that bra was not her daughter's.
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
SLAP—
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
Xiaoya lowered her head, mumbling, "No, I don't."
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
Never... Xiaoya never thought it would turn out this way. She thought her mother would continue to hit her, she thought she would be beaten to death. To her, her mother was a superwoman: someone all-powerful, someone who could never fall.
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
Xiaoya: I came out.
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
Her mother rose to her feet, she had knelt down for too long so they had grown a bit numb, causing her to hobble to the door. "I won't tell your father, he ill never accept this. But know this, I will never agree to the two of you being together."
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
Xiaoya tried to take the initiative on the topic. She added even more details so as to not only quell the tension in her heart, but also to add some credibility to her words.
After helping Xiaoya carrying the suitcase to the bottom floor and packing the luggage into the car, the family of three drove off, her father driving them all out of the city.
Xiaoya slowly neared her mother, the tears from her eyes now flowing like rain, as if she was a kid no more than three or four years old who had no idea how to express their feelings apart from simply shedding tears. "Mom... please don't cry... don't cry, please..."
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
Lu Xiaobei walked out the door, Yu Xiaoya returned to her room, taking her mother's phone. "Mom, do you have a note with grandma's number? Since grandma changed her landline last year, I haven't memorised the number."
Xiaoya's mother: "Yu Xiaoya, I need you to tell me the truth, understood? Do you have a boyfriend?"
She no longer raised a hand against her, neither did she curse her, all the woman did was cry by her lonesome, forcing herself to hold the tears back, but was completely unable to and so just kept crying, creating a sad and hopeless sight. In that small room, no longer were the summer's chirping cicadas anywhere to be heard, as the only sound enveloping that space were pain-filled sobs. Her cries sounded like those of a desperate person who had lost their sustenance, or of an animal who discovered she'd lost her cub—it was as if her life was beyond redemption.
There was dead silence.
Xiaoya slowly neared her mother, the tears from her eyes now flowing like rain, as if she was a kid no more than three or four years old who had no idea how to express their feelings apart from simply shedding tears. "Mom... please don't cry... don't cry, please..."
Xiaoya's mother then asked her, character by character: "Then, do you have a girlfriend?"
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
Never... Xiaoya never thought it would turn out this way. She thought her mother would continue to hit her, she thought she would be beaten to death. To her, her mother was a superwoman: someone all-powerful, someone who could never fall.
"Alright. Alright. Alright." These three 'alrights' spoken by Xiaoya's mother were different from her earlier affirmations. These three 'alrights' only made Xiaoya feel as though a brewing storm was nearing.
Xiaoya lowered her head, mumbling, "No, I don't."
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
Xiaoya's mother snapped, "Look directly at my eyes and answer the question!"
iana: Some clarification because I'm in no mood for linking footnotes. About the transfer, in case you forgot, Xiaoya was registered at the high school she qualified for via entrance exams but attended a different high school as a loan student, so it wasn't a full transfer. So this time around she is a registered student on Yunta High (Boarding School). About wishing Lu Xiaobei hadn't returned, don't misunderstand our girl, it's just that she actually had a relationship at that time, not feeling guilty all around and kept under lock and key. Looks like she was planning to wait it out but her mother pulled a trap card. Trust me when I say being transferred out of the blue feels like sht, and the reasoning behind hers must feel like crap flakes on poop icing on top of a sht cake. Remember, despite her parents being a$ right now, they are still her parents, she doesn't/didn't want to disappoint them—or Lu Xiaobei, so our girl is stuck; and she was precious from the get go. She's not the type to expect a reaction like this. Especially, since she hasn't actually done anything! Okay, I'm done. This chapter hurt my heart, and I am not okay. o(TヘTo) ... o(一︿一+)o
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
N/A
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
It was impossible for her to go eat inner with Lu Xiaobei now, even their future was...
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
In the living room, the television was always running so Xiaoya closed her door, not even in the mood to take out her phone. Lately, although she was still in contact with Lu Xiaobei, all she messaged every day was a hello.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
Lu Xiaobei walked out the door, Yu Xiaoya returned to her room, taking her mother's phone. "Mom, do you have a note with grandma's number? Since grandma changed her landline last year, I haven't memorised the number."
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
"Alright. Alright. Alright." These three 'alrights' spoken by Xiaoya's mother were different from her earlier affirmations. These three 'alrights' only made Xiaoya feel as though a brewing storm was nearing.
"Did something happen? Why haven't you come down?"
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
Xiaoya's mother then asked her, character by character: "Then, do you have a girlfriend?"
Xiaoya's mother no longer argued with her daughter, only stepping out the car and saying to her, "Get out, I'm taking you to go register. We transferred you fully this time, so now you're registered at this school. Yunta High has strict rules. It has classes throughout the weekend and lets off for a holiday once a month. When that time comes we'll drive here to come pick you up."
Xiaoya's face paled as she stare at her mother in disbelief.
Lu Xiaobei: I will. Go get some sleep, okay?
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
Lu Xiaobei: Did anything happen to you?
She then went to her mother, taking the suitcase the woman held in her hand, only to feel her entire body lean over. "Why is it so heavy? Does it have all the clothes of our house inside it?"
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
N/A
The young girl feeling as though her entire person had fallen into an icy pit. It wasn't that she had never thought about coming out of the closet, just that whenever that time was it would surely not have been at this moment. She hadn't given her parents any forewarnings, she was still in high school, and was in no way able to support herself.
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
Xiaoya replied to her: I saw it.
"Yunta High School," her mother replied.
Her curtains were still open. The lights of the building across from hers had been torn off, and in her own house, there had been no stirrings for a long time. Xiaoya had no idea what the current time was, s she took her phone from her tissue box and saw there were two unread messages from Lu Xiaobei.
There was dead silence.
"You spoil her too much! I'm educating her, so stay out of it!" Xiaoya's mother waved him away as she spoke.
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
Hearing the commotion, Xiaoya's father came in from the living room and said to them both, "Why are you being so harsh to the kid? Holiday's are hard to come by, it's good for her to go hang out and enjoy herself, to be lively."
There was dead silence.
That's... that's...
She no longer raised a hand against her, neither did she curse her, all the woman did was cry by her lonesome, forcing herself to hold the tears back, but was completely unable to and so just kept crying, creating a sad and hopeless sight. In that small room, no longer were the summer's chirping cicadas anywhere to be heard, as the only sound enveloping that space were pain-filled sobs. Her cries sounded like those of a desperate person who had lost their sustenance, or of an animal who discovered she'd lost her cub—it was as if her life was beyond redemption.
"Xiaoya, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. When you read this, message me back, okay?"
Lu Xiaobei: Did anything happen to you?
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
"You spoil her too much! I'm educating her, so stay out of it!" Xiaoya's mother waved him away as she spoke.
It was impossible for her to go eat inner with Lu Xiaobei now, even their future was...
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
The next day, the man received a call from a colleague at their home, "Mr. Yu, the annual retreat this year will be held in Little Nancheng, the hot spring there is quite famous. You can bring your wife and daughter along as well, the company will cover all the expenses."
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
Xiaoya's face paled, wanting very much to retreat instinctively but the desk behind her prevented such an action.
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
Xiaoya had no idea what her mother had told him, however, she got the vague feeling that her mother hadn't outed her, otherwise, there was no way her father would still be that calm. Again seeing his daughter not say a word, he took it as her silent agreement. "When you enter university, you will meet a lot of new people, people far better and far more outstanding who will like you. So for now, it's much better for you to make your studies a priority."
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
Second Update
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
Xiaoya: Yes, I see you.
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
Xiaoya's mother cleared her bed, intending to fold Xiaoya's blanket.
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
Xiaoya's mother didn't respond to her but instead asked, "Didn't you tell me Lu Xiaobei left the country after her college entrance exams?"
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
Second Update
Xiaoya's mother cleared her bed, intending to fold Xiaoya's blanket.
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
"Mom, I..."
Xiaoya: "Dad, I'm sorry." These days, all Xiaoya had said sorry so many times in her heart, to her mother, to Lu Xiaobei, and to her father.
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
Xiaoya: "Dad, I'm sorry." These days, all Xiaoya had said sorry so many times in her heart, to her mother, to Lu Xiaobei, and to her father.
Suddenly, her mother asked, "Have you broken up with her?"
Xiaoya's mother didn't respond to her but instead asked, "Didn't you tell me Lu Xiaobei left the country after her college entrance exams?"
SLAP—
Her curtains were still open. The lights of the building across from hers had been torn off, and in her own house, there had been no stirrings for a long time. Xiaoya had no idea what the current time was, s she took her phone from her tissue box and saw there were two unread messages from Lu Xiaobei.
Xiaoya's mother froze. Her hand reacting much faster than her mind, slapping her daughter right across her face.
That night, Xiaoya's mother did not call her out for dinner. But Xiaoya didn't know whether it was on account of her mother's kindness or just her being exiled.
Xiaoya, stunned, stood there in place. The force of the slap was so strong she was knocked into a stupor. Her mother then dropping onto the ground, leaning against her bed as she cried.
Xiaoya replied to her: I saw it.
Xiaoya had been unusually clever recently. She only thought she would be accompanying her dad to Little Nancheng for his annual retreat, but despite her finding it strange the retreat would go on for half a month, she asked no questions and simply packed her bag full of question papers and reference materials. After a moment of hesitation, she took out her phone and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag.
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Second Update
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
She no longer raised a hand against her, neither did she curse her, all the woman did was cry by her lonesome, forcing herself to hold the tears back, but was completely unable to and so just kept crying, creating a sad and hopeless sight. In that small room, no longer were the summer's chirping cicadas anywhere to be heard, as the only sound enveloping that space were pain-filled sobs. Her cries sounded like those of a desperate person who had lost their sustenance, or of an animal who discovered she'd lost her cub—it was as if her life was beyond redemption.
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
Xiaoya's mother no longer argued with her daughter, only stepping out the car and saying to her, "Get out, I'm taking you to go register. We transferred you fully this time, so now you're registered at this school. Yunta High has strict rules. It has classes throughout the weekend and lets off for a holiday once a month. When that time comes we'll drive here to come pick you up."
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
Never... Xiaoya never thought it would turn out this way. She thought her mother would continue to hit her, she thought she would be beaten to death. To her, her mother was a superwoman: someone all-powerful, someone who could never fall.
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
Xiaoya: Yes, I see you.
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
Lu Xiaobei walked out the door, Yu Xiaoya returned to her room, taking her mother's phone. "Mom, do you have a note with grandma's number? Since grandma changed her landline last year, I haven't memorised the number."
Xiaoya slowly neared her mother, the tears from her eyes now flowing like rain, as if she was a kid no more than three or four years old who had no idea how to express their feelings apart from simply shedding tears. "Mom... please don't cry... don't cry, please..."
After helping Xiaoya carrying the suitcase to the bottom floor and packing the luggage into the car, the family of three drove off, her father driving them all out of the city.
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
That night, Xiaoya's mother did not call her out for dinner. But Xiaoya didn't know whether it was on account of her mother's kindness or just her being exiled.
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
Suddenly, her mother asked, "Have you broken up with her?"
"Mom... mommy... please don't cry... I was wrong, okay... I'll be good from now on, okay... I'll study well, okay..." Xiaoya hugged her mother, her entire body trembling as she sobbed.
Xiaoya tried to take the initiative on the topic. She added even more details so as to not only quell the tension in her heart, but also to add some credibility to her words.
N/A
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
After a long while passed, Xiaoya's mother turned and took hold of Xiaoya's hand. "Break up with her."
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
Xiaoya tried to take the initiative on the topic. She added even more details so as to not only quell the tension in her heart, but also to add some credibility to her words.
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
Sometimes when Xiaoya thought about it, she thought it would've been better if Lu Xiaobei hadn't returned to Nancheng. But she also knew that if she stretched out her head, there would be a blade; and if she shrunk her head back, there would be a blade too. Sooner or later, the day would've arrived and there was no avoiding it.
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
That's... that's...
The person she loved was standing right there, right in the first floor of her building, but she couldn't bring herself to face her mother and say they wanted to be together.
From the front seat, Xiaoya's father stretched out his head. "Don't yell at your mother. Both of us hate the idea of it too, but we can't just sit by and watch you ruin your life by falling in love with some gangster."
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
Physically, the distance between them was merely a few metres, and was considerably short, yet it felt as though vast mountains and rivers stood between them. It was nothing like before when Lu Xiaobei was in the Netherlands. Because despite there being over seven-thousand kilometres between them at that time, they did not have any obstacles in their way.
After a long while passed, Xiaoya's mother turned and took hold of Xiaoya's hand. "Break up with her."
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
"You spoil her too much! I'm educating her, so stay out of it!" Xiaoya's mother waved him away as she spoke.
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
Lu Xiaobei: Did anything happen to you?
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
When the end of term exam results came out, Xiaoya's score was pretty good. She had placed well inside the top one hundred and fifty of her year and could enter into the advanced science courses. But Xiaoya had discussed it earlier with her parents she would be going the liberal arts route and not the sciences. But her father now lamented, "If you enter the advanced science course, it would be much easier for you to get into a good college. Furthermore, if you study the same major as I did, you can join my class in the future. I know a few teachers at your high school, so are you sure you don't want to change it?"
It was impossible for her to go eat inner with Lu Xiaobei now, even their future was...
After her father was done with the dishes, he walked into the living room, picked up the remote, and without asking, switched to channel to a ballgame.
"You spoil her too much! I'm educating her, so stay out of it!" Xiaoya's mother waved him away as she spoke.
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
"What's this?" Xiaoya's mother asked.
When the end of term exam results came out, Xiaoya's score was pretty good. She had placed well inside the top one hundred and fifty of her year and could enter into the advanced science courses. But Xiaoya had discussed it earlier with her parents she would be going the liberal arts route and not the sciences. But her father now lamented, "If you enter the advanced science course, it would be much easier for you to get into a good college. Furthermore, if you study the same major as I did, you can join my class in the future. I know a few teachers at your high school, so are you sure you don't want to change it?"
On that summer's evening, the passage of time was incomparably slow.
On that summer's evening, the passage of time was incomparably slow.
She no longer raised a hand against her, neither did she curse her, all the woman did was cry by her lonesome, forcing herself to hold the tears back, but was completely unable to and so just kept crying, creating a sad and hopeless sight. In that small room, no longer were the summer's chirping cicadas anywhere to be heard, as the only sound enveloping that space were pain-filled sobs. Her cries sounded like those of a desperate person who had lost their sustenance, or of an animal who discovered she'd lost her cub—it was as if her life was beyond redemption.
Second Update
To Xiaoya, it felt as though the light transmitted from Lu Xiaobei's phone, had illuminated the shroud of darkness, had illuminated her life.
Lu Xiaobei: I will. Go get some sleep, okay?
Her mother: "In Yunta Town. Although this high school's advanced classes are not as good as the ones in your former high school, the management here is strict. It's also an especially good school for liberal arts, as every year there are a lot of students graduating from here that enter top universities."
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
Xiaoya: I came out.
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
Stunned, Xiaoya looked at the time, it was already twenty minutes past one, but not in the afternoon, in the wee hours of the morning. Lu Xiaobei had been waiting on the first floor of her apartment building for seven hours.
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Xiaoya wanted to shake her head, she wanted to say no, but she was completely frozen stiff, unable to move and do anything.
As her mother, whatever clothes Xiaoya had she knew them all well, and that bra was not her daughter's.
"Don't force my hand." Her mother looked at her sternly.
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
SLAP—
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
Tears poured from Xiaoya's eyes. She cried out honestly, "I didn't fall in love with some gangster!"
N/A
Xiaoya's heart grew uneasy, however, she still thought her mother shouldn't have noticed anything. "That's because I asked her to buy me some skincare products while she was in the Netherlands, so today intentionally went to pick her up so I could bring them back." After the cabinet was filled, Lu Xiaobei had placed the skincare products directly on the table. So at current, Xiaoya was glad Lu Xiaobei had left some proof. Pointing to the bottles on the table, she continued, "There right there."
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
"Mom, I..."
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
Her mother rose to her feet, she had knelt down for too long so they had grown a bit numb, causing her to hobble to the door. "I won't tell your father, he ill never accept this. But know this, I will never agree to the two of you being together."
"Xiaoya, go study in your room," her mother ordered.
That night, Xiaoya's mother did not call her out for dinner. But Xiaoya didn't know whether it was on account of her mother's kindness or just her being exiled.
And not two two seconds later, Lu Xiaobei sent her a message in return, as though she had been staring at her phone the entire time.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
Xiaoya had no idea what her mother had told him, however, she got the vague feeling that her mother hadn't outed her, otherwise, there was no way her father would still be that calm. Again seeing his daughter not say a word, he took it as her silent agreement. "When you enter university, you will meet a lot of new people, people far better and far more outstanding who will like you. So for now, it's much better for you to make your studies a priority."
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
Xiaoya's face paled, wanting very much to retreat instinctively but the desk behind her prevented such an action.
N/A
Xiaoya's mother then asked her, character by character: "Then, do you have a girlfriend?"
Xiaoya wanted to shake her head, she wanted to say no, but she was completely frozen stiff, unable to move and do anything.
Her curtains were still open. The lights of the building across from hers had been torn off, and in her own house, there had been no stirrings for a long time. Xiaoya had no idea what the current time was, s she took her phone from her tissue box and saw there were two unread messages from Lu Xiaobei.
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
"Did something happen? Why haven't you come down?"
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
"Alright. Alright. Alright." These three 'alrights' spoken by Xiaoya's mother were different from her earlier affirmations. These three 'alrights' only made Xiaoya feel as though a brewing storm was nearing.
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
That night, Xiaoya's mother packed a suitcase for her, so Xiaoya asked, "Are we going to Little Nancheng? When are we leaving?"
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
"Xiaoya, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. When you read this, message me back, okay?"
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
"What's this?" Xiaoya's mother asked.
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
To Xiaoya, it felt as though the light transmitted from Lu Xiaobei's phone, had illuminated the shroud of darkness, had illuminated her life.
There was dead silence.
Xiaoya replied to her: I saw it.
Second Update
N/A
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
And not two two seconds later, Lu Xiaobei sent her a message in return, as though she had been staring at her phone the entire time.
Xiaoya was in no mood to study, only holding the pen in her hand while she sat at her desk. It was very quiet at night, so even if the door was closed, Xiaoya could still still hear the voices from the television: "Ball—is in!" But she couldn't hear any of her parents' words.
Xiaoya had no idea what her mother had told him, however, she got the vague feeling that her mother hadn't outed her, otherwise, there was no way her father would still be that calm. Again seeing his daughter not say a word, he took it as her silent agreement. "When you enter university, you will meet a lot of new people, people far better and far more outstanding who will like you. So for now, it's much better for you to make your studies a priority."
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
Lu Xiaobei: What happened?
That night, Xiaoya's mother packed a suitcase for her, so Xiaoya asked, "Are we going to Little Nancheng? When are we leaving?"
Xiaoya: "Dad, I'm sorry." These days, all Xiaoya had said sorry so many times in her heart, to her mother, to Lu Xiaobei, and to her father.
iana: Some clarification because I'm in no mood for linking footnotes. About the transfer, in case you forgot, Xiaoya was registered at the high school she qualified for via entrance exams but attended a different high school as a loan student, so it wasn't a full transfer. So this time around she is a registered student on Yunta High (Boarding School). About wishing Lu Xiaobei hadn't returned, don't misunderstand our girl, it's just that she actually had a relationship at that time, not feeling guilty all around and kept under lock and key. Looks like she was planning to wait it out but her mother pulled a trap card. Trust me when I say being transferred out of the blue feels like sht, and the reasoning behind hers must feel like crap flakes on poop icing on top of a sht cake. Remember, despite her parents being a$ right now, they are still her parents, she doesn't/didn't want to disappoint them—or Lu Xiaobei, so our girl is stuck; and she was precious from the get go. She's not the type to expect a reaction like this. Especially, since she hasn't actually done anything! Okay, I'm done. This chapter hurt my heart, and I am not okay. o(TヘTo) ... o(一︿一+)o
Xiaoya: I came out.
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
Xiaoya's face paled as she stare at her mother in disbelief.
Physically, the distance between them was merely a few metres, and was considerably short, yet it felt as though vast mountains and rivers stood between them. It was nothing like before when Lu Xiaobei was in the Netherlands. Because despite there being over seven-thousand kilometres between them at that time, they did not have any obstacles in their way.
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
Lu Xiaobei: Did anything happen to you?
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
Physically, the distance between them was merely a few metres, and was considerably short, yet it felt as though vast mountains and rivers stood between them. It was nothing like before when Lu Xiaobei was in the Netherlands. Because despite there being over seven-thousand kilometres between them at that time, they did not have any obstacles in their way.
Chuckling politely, Xiaoya's father replied, "Oh, thank you, I appreciate it."
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
"Don't force my hand." Her mother looked at her sternly.
"What's this?" Xiaoya's mother asked.
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
Lu Xiaobei: I'm downstairs... in your building.
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
Stunned, Xiaoya looked at the time, it was already twenty minutes past one, but not in the afternoon, in the wee hours of the morning. Lu Xiaobei had been waiting on the first floor of her apartment building for seven hours.
She then went to her mother, taking the suitcase the woman held in her hand, only to feel her entire body lean over. "Why is it so heavy? Does it have all the clothes of our house inside it?"
Xiaoya, with trembling hands, then typed: I thought you had already gone back home.
Xiaoya's mother: "Yu Xiaoya, I need you to tell me the truth, understood? Do you have a boyfriend?"
Xiaoya, with trembling hands, then typed: I thought you had already gone back home.
Lu Xiaobei: I'm downstairs... in your building.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
At the dinner table, Xiaoya's chopsticks froze. "I'm sure. I like liberal arts more."
From time to time Xiaoya did mention Lu Xiaobei. "Yeah, she did leave but she came back to Nancheng today."
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
Lu Xiaobei: I was worried about you.
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
Xiaoya jumped off the bed, rushing over, holding the handle of her door, wanting to go outside, wanting to run down to Lu Xiaobei, wanting to see her. Her door then opened with a click, immediately breaking Xiaoya from her trance. No, she couldn't go meet Lu Xiaobei right then.
N/A
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
Tears poured from Xiaoya's eyes. She cried out honestly, "I didn't fall in love with some gangster!"
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
Xiaoya, stunned, stood there in place. The force of the slap was so strong she was knocked into a stupor. Her mother then dropping onto the ground, leaning against her bed as she cried.
Xiaoya nervously turned on the flashlight of her own phone, also waving it towards Lu Xiaobei.
Xiaoya's mother then asked her, character by character: "Then, do you have a girlfriend?"
Lu Xiaobei messaged: Do you see me?
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
After her father was done with the dishes, he walked into the living room, picked up the remote, and without asking, switched to channel to a ballgame.
"Don't force my hand." Her mother looked at her sternly.
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
For a long time, her heart shook, but there was nowhere to go.
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
Xiaoya: Yes, I see you.
With a sigh, Xiaoya's father turned and left her room.
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
Her mother: "In Yunta Town. Although this high school's advanced classes are not as good as the ones in your former high school, the management here is strict. It's also an especially good school for liberal arts, as every year there are a lot of students graduating from here that enter top universities."
Xiaoya's mother: "Yu Xiaoya, I need you to tell me the truth, understood? Do you have a boyfriend?"
N/A
Lu Xiaobei: I will. Go get some sleep, okay?
To Xiaoya, it felt as though the light transmitted from Lu Xiaobei's phone, had illuminated the shroud of darkness, had illuminated her life.
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
After eating, Xiaoya volunteered to wash the dishes but her father drove her away saying, "Go to the living room and watch some television with your mother."
It had been a long time since Xiaoya had slept this deep. So when she was shaken awake by her mother, she was still in a daze. "Are we there?" Xiaoya looked out the car window where beyond it was a large sports field, looking nothing like a resort. Xiaoya then asked, "Where are we?"
That night, Xiaoya's mother did not call her out for dinner. But Xiaoya didn't know whether it was on account of her mother's kindness or just her being exiled.
Xiaoya lowered her head, mumbling, "No, I don't."
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
Xiaoya's mother cleared her bed, intending to fold Xiaoya's blanket.
Lu Xiaobei: I will. Go get some sleep, okay?
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
After a long while passed, Xiaoya's mother turned and took hold of Xiaoya's hand. "Break up with her."
Xiaoya nervously turned on the flashlight of her own phone, also waving it towards Lu Xiaobei.
After helping Xiaoya carrying the suitcase to the bottom floor and packing the luggage into the car, the family of three drove off, her father driving them all out of the city.
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
Lu Xiaobei: I was worried about you.
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
The next day, the man received a call from a colleague at their home, "Mr. Yu, the annual retreat this year will be held in Little Nancheng, the hot spring there is quite famous. You can bring your wife and daughter along as well, the company will cover all the expenses."
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
When the end of term exam results came out, Xiaoya's score was pretty good. She had placed well inside the top one hundred and fifty of her year and could enter into the advanced science courses. But Xiaoya had discussed it earlier with her parents she would be going the liberal arts route and not the sciences. But her father now lamented, "If you enter the advanced science course, it would be much easier for you to get into a good college. Furthermore, if you study the same major as I did, you can join my class in the future. I know a few teachers at your high school, so are you sure you don't want to change it?"
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
"Xiaoya, go study in your room," her mother ordered.
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
Xiaoya had no idea what her mother had told him, however, she got the vague feeling that her mother hadn't outed her, otherwise, there was no way her father would still be that calm. Again seeing his daughter not say a word, he took it as her silent agreement. "When you enter university, you will meet a lot of new people, people far better and far more outstanding who will like you. So for now, it's much better for you to make your studies a priority."
From the front seat, Xiaoya's father stretched out his head. "Don't yell at your mother. Both of us hate the idea of it too, but we can't just sit by and watch you ruin your life by falling in love with some gangster."
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
At the dinner table, Xiaoya's chopsticks froze. "I'm sure. I like liberal arts more."
To Xiaoya, it felt as though the light transmitted from Lu Xiaobei's phone, had illuminated the shroud of darkness, had illuminated her life.
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
Lu Xiaobei: What happened?
Tears poured from Xiaoya's eyes. She cried out honestly, "I didn't fall in love with some gangster!"
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
Suddenly, her mother asked, "Have you broken up with her?"
It was impossible for her to go eat inner with Lu Xiaobei now, even their future was...
Xiaoya nervously turned on the flashlight of her own phone, also waving it towards Lu Xiaobei.
From the front seat, Xiaoya's father stretched out his head. "Don't yell at your mother. Both of us hate the idea of it too, but we can't just sit by and watch you ruin your life by falling in love with some gangster."
"Mom, I..."
After eating, Xiaoya volunteered to wash the dishes but her father drove her away saying, "Go to the living room and watch some television with your mother."
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Xiaoya replied to her: I saw it.
"Yunta High School," her mother replied.
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
A man as thick-skinned as Xiaoya' father hadn't noticed in the slightest the cold war occurring between the mother-daughter pair over the past few days.
"Don't force my hand." Her mother looked at her sternly.
Xiaoya ran to her desk, climbing onto it and carefully looked down below. The street lights were dim, so she couldn't see clearly. But just then, someone turned on the flashlight of their phone, waving in in the direction of her room.
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
The person she loved was standing right there, right in the first floor of her building, but she couldn't bring herself to face her mother and say they wanted to be together.
It had been a long time since Xiaoya had slept this deep. So when she was shaken awake by her mother, she was still in a daze. "Are we there?" Xiaoya looked out the car window where beyond it was a large sports field, looking nothing like a resort. Xiaoya then asked, "Where are we?"
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
Suddenly, her mother asked, "Have you broken up with her?"
Chuckling politely, Xiaoya's father replied, "Oh, thank you, I appreciate it."
"Yunta High School," her mother replied.
In the living room, the television was always running so Xiaoya closed her door, not even in the mood to take out her phone. Lately, although she was still in contact with Lu Xiaobei, all she messaged every day was a hello.
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
It was impossible for her to go eat inner with Lu Xiaobei now, even their future was...
After eating, Xiaoya volunteered to wash the dishes but her father drove her away saying, "Go to the living room and watch some television with your mother."
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
"Did something happen? Why haven't you come down?"
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
"Mom, I..."
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
The young girl feeling as though her entire person had fallen into an icy pit. It wasn't that she had never thought about coming out of the closet, just that whenever that time was it would surely not have been at this moment. She hadn't given her parents any forewarnings, she was still in high school, and was in no way able to support herself.
Xiaoya's mother snapped, "Look directly at my eyes and answer the question!"
The young girl feeling as though her entire person had fallen into an icy pit. It wasn't that she had never thought about coming out of the closet, just that whenever that time was it would surely not have been at this moment. She hadn't given her parents any forewarnings, she was still in high school, and was in no way able to support herself.
Xiaoya's mother then asked her, character by character: "Then, do you have a girlfriend?"
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
After her father was done with the dishes, he walked into the living room, picked up the remote, and without asking, switched to channel to a ballgame.
Xiaoya lowered her head, mumbling, "No, I don't."
Xiaoya's mother didn't respond to her but instead asked, "Didn't you tell me Lu Xiaobei left the country after her college entrance exams?"
When the end of term exam results came out, Xiaoya's score was pretty good. She had placed well inside the top one hundred and fifty of her year and could enter into the advanced science courses. But Xiaoya had discussed it earlier with her parents she would be going the liberal arts route and not the sciences. But her father now lamented, "If you enter the advanced science course, it would be much easier for you to get into a good college. Furthermore, if you study the same major as I did, you can join my class in the future. I know a few teachers at your high school, so are you sure you don't want to change it?"
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
As her mother, whatever clothes Xiaoya had she knew them all well, and that bra was not her daughter's.
"Xiaoya, go study in your room," her mother ordered.
Lu Xiaobei walked out the door, Yu Xiaoya returned to her room, taking her mother's phone. "Mom, do you have a note with grandma's number? Since grandma changed her landline last year, I haven't memorised the number."
"Xiaoya, go study in your room," her mother ordered.
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
Xiaoya nervously turned on the flashlight of her own phone, also waving it towards Lu Xiaobei.
Xiaoya's face paled as she stare at her mother in disbelief.
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
Xiaoya: I came out.
On that summer's evening, the passage of time was incomparably slow.
Xiaoya was in no mood to study, only holding the pen in her hand while she sat at her desk. It was very quiet at night, so even if the door was closed, Xiaoya could still still hear the voices from the television: "Ball—is in!" But she couldn't hear any of her parents' words.
Xiaoya had been unusually clever recently. She only thought she would be accompanying her dad to Little Nancheng for his annual retreat, but despite her finding it strange the retreat would go on for half a month, she asked no questions and simply packed her bag full of question papers and reference materials. After a moment of hesitation, she took out her phone and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag.
Xiaoya lowered her head, mumbling, "No, I don't."
SLAP—
Xiaoya thought her tears had long dried up as her eyes were dry and were hurting. But because she felt guilty towards her mother, and terrified of the unknown, tears still left her, flowing out drip by drip before dropping onto the floor.
To Xiaoya, it felt as though the light transmitted from Lu Xiaobei's phone, had illuminated the shroud of darkness, had illuminated her life.
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
Stunned, Xiaoya looked at the time, it was already twenty minutes past one, but not in the afternoon, in the wee hours of the morning. Lu Xiaobei had been waiting on the first floor of her apartment building for seven hours.
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
In the next coming days, things within the Yu household were calm. Xiaoya's mother, as she had promised Xiaoya, said nothing of the matter to her father. While Xiaoya, with the door to her room kept open, worked on practice questions every day. She did not binge watch any shows, she didn't watch any anime. All she did was study quietly, since she had declared this position of not letting love interfere with her responsibilities to her mother. But she also did it to divert her attention, so as to not think about certain things all day long.
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
Physically, the distance between them was merely a few metres, and was considerably short, yet it felt as though vast mountains and rivers stood between them. It was nothing like before when Lu Xiaobei was in the Netherlands. Because despite there being over seven-thousand kilometres between them at that time, they did not have any obstacles in their way.
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
Xiaoya's face paled as she stare at her mother in disbelief.
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
She guessed that her mother and father were definitely talking about her. And she was waiting, waiting for them to put her on trial.
Lu Xiaobei: What happened?
It was now dark, completely dark, but Xiaoya had no intention of of adjusting the light of her desk lamp. When the ballgame ended, perhaps an hour later, or maybe two, her father entered her room and stood at her door, seriousness and severity in his voice as he spoke, "Your mother told me you're dating someone, is that correct?"
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
Xiaoya replied to her: I saw it.
Xiaoya could feel heart pound with a thud as she went on to reply, "A little while ago when Captain took her nap she probably felt uncomfortable and took it off. I'll give it back to her later."
Xiaoya's mother snapped, "Look directly at my eyes and answer the question!"
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
Lu Xiaobei: I was worried about you.
Xiaoya had no idea what her mother had told him, however, she got the vague feeling that her mother hadn't outed her, otherwise, there was no way her father would still be that calm. Again seeing his daughter not say a word, he took it as her silent agreement. "When you enter university, you will meet a lot of new people, people far better and far more outstanding who will like you. So for now, it's much better for you to make your studies a priority."
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
Xiaoya had been unusually clever recently. She only thought she would be accompanying her dad to Little Nancheng for his annual retreat, but despite her finding it strange the retreat would go on for half a month, she asked no questions and simply packed her bag full of question papers and reference materials. After a moment of hesitation, she took out her phone and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag.
That night, Xiaoya's mother did not call her out for dinner. But Xiaoya didn't know whether it was on account of her mother's kindness or just her being exiled.
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
Xiaoya: "Dad, I'm sorry." These days, all Xiaoya had said sorry so many times in her heart, to her mother, to Lu Xiaobei, and to her father.
"Mom... mommy... please don't cry... I was wrong, okay... I'll be good from now on, okay... I'll study well, okay..." Xiaoya hugged her mother, her entire body trembling as she sobbed.
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
When the end of term exam results came out, Xiaoya's score was pretty good. She had placed well inside the top one hundred and fifty of her year and could enter into the advanced science courses. But Xiaoya had discussed it earlier with her parents she would be going the liberal arts route and not the sciences. But her father now lamented, "If you enter the advanced science course, it would be much easier for you to get into a good college. Furthermore, if you study the same major as I did, you can join my class in the future. I know a few teachers at your high school, so are you sure you don't want to change it?"
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
With a sigh, Xiaoya's father turned and left her room.
The next day, the man received a call from a colleague at their home, "Mr. Yu, the annual retreat this year will be held in Little Nancheng, the hot spring there is quite famous. You can bring your wife and daughter along as well, the company will cover all the expenses."
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
The next day, the man received a call from a colleague at their home, "Mr. Yu, the annual retreat this year will be held in Little Nancheng, the hot spring there is quite famous. You can bring your wife and daughter along as well, the company will cover all the expenses."
Xiaoya, with trembling hands, then typed: I thought you had already gone back home.
Chuckling politely, Xiaoya's father replied, "Oh, thank you, I appreciate it."
Lu Xiaobei: I was worried about you.
That night, Xiaoya's mother packed a suitcase for her, so Xiaoya asked, "Are we going to Little Nancheng? When are we leaving?"
A man as thick-skinned as Xiaoya' father hadn't noticed in the slightest the cold war occurring between the mother-daughter pair over the past few days.
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
"Xiaoya, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. When you read this, message me back, okay?"
Her mother rose to her feet, she had knelt down for too long so they had grown a bit numb, causing her to hobble to the door. "I won't tell your father, he ill never accept this. But know this, I will never agree to the two of you being together."
After a long while passed, Xiaoya's mother turned and took hold of Xiaoya's hand. "Break up with her."
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
In the living room, the television was always running so Xiaoya closed her door, not even in the mood to take out her phone. Lately, although she was still in contact with Lu Xiaobei, all she messaged every day was a hello.
"Answer me!" Her mother snapped once more.
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
Xiaoya jumped off the bed, rushing over, holding the handle of her door, wanting to go outside, wanting to run down to Lu Xiaobei, wanting to see her. Her door then opened with a click, immediately breaking Xiaoya from her trance. No, she couldn't go meet Lu Xiaobei right then.
"Your mother also told me he is already no longer in high school."
She couldn't think, the gears in her mind were stuck. Her only thought being that everything had made sense and she shouldn't expose any fatal flaws.
Xiaoya: I came out.
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
It had been a long time since Xiaoya had slept this deep. So when she was shaken awake by her mother, she was still in a daze. "Are we there?" Xiaoya looked out the car window where beyond it was a large sports field, looking nothing like a resort. Xiaoya then asked, "Where are we?"
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
Xiaoya: No, nothing. Did you get back home as yet?
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
Xiaoya walked into the living room, and seeing her mother sitting on one end of the three-seater couch, she sat on the other, wanting to speak but dared not say a word.
Sometimes when Xiaoya thought about it, she thought it would've been better if Lu Xiaobei hadn't returned to Nancheng. But she also knew that if she stretched out her head, there would be a blade; and if she shrunk her head back, there would be a blade too. Sooner or later, the day would've arrived and there was no avoiding it.
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
Xiaoya was in no mood to study, only holding the pen in her hand while she sat at her desk. It was very quiet at night, so even if the door was closed, Xiaoya could still still hear the voices from the television: "Ball—is in!" But she couldn't hear any of her parents' words.
Xiaoya's mother didn't respond to her but instead asked, "Didn't you tell me Lu Xiaobei left the country after her college entrance exams?"
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
Lu Xiaobei: I will. Go get some sleep, okay?
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
SLAP—
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
However, what she never expected was for her mother to be so determined and unyielding.
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
The person she loved was standing right there, right in the first floor of her building, but she couldn't bring herself to face her mother and say they wanted to be together.
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
Xiaoya noticed the phone in her tissue box vibrate a couple of times, but her mother was too much of an agitated to have noticed the box move. Xiaoya could only think right then: Lu Xiaobei must've realised something went wrong an decided to not ring the doorbell.
Xiaoya had been unusually clever recently. She only thought she would be accompanying her dad to Little Nancheng for his annual retreat, but despite her finding it strange the retreat would go on for half a month, she asked no questions and simply packed her bag full of question papers and reference materials. After a moment of hesitation, she took out her phone and stuffed it into the bottom of the bag.
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
Xiaoya: I came out.
"Don't force my hand." Her mother looked at her sternly.
She then went to her mother, taking the suitcase the woman held in her hand, only to feel her entire body lean over. "Why is it so heavy? Does it have all the clothes of our house inside it?"
Xiaoya slowly neared her mother, the tears from her eyes now flowing like rain, as if she was a kid no more than three or four years old who had no idea how to express their feelings apart from simply shedding tears. "Mom... please don't cry... don't cry, please..."
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
And not two two seconds later, Lu Xiaobei sent her a message in return, as though she had been staring at her phone the entire time.
With a sigh, Xiaoya's father turned and left her room.
It wasn't until the last ray of sunlight was gone that Xiaoya's mother had calmed down, at least by some degree. "I should've guessed as much earlier. You're my daughter, and you can't hide your true feelings at all. You giggled to yourself everyday, so your father and I did guess that you had fallen in love. But... I never thought the one you were dating would be a girl.
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
But her mother said nothing, and only asked her father to help his daughter carry the luggage.
Hearing the commotion, Xiaoya's father came in from the living room and said to them both, "Why are you being so harsh to the kid? Holiday's are hard to come by, it's good for her to go hang out and enjoy herself, to be lively."
After helping Xiaoya carrying the suitcase to the bottom floor and packing the luggage into the car, the family of three drove off, her father driving them all out of the city.
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
To this, he father chuckled and said, "Alright then. Liberal arts is much better for girls."
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
Stunned, Xiaoya looked at the time, it was already twenty minutes past one, but not in the afternoon, in the wee hours of the morning. Lu Xiaobei had been waiting on the first floor of her apartment building for seven hours.
Xiaoya's mother cleared her bed, intending to fold Xiaoya's blanket.
Xiaoya at that moment breathed a sigh of relief, thinking she had escaped, and secretly feeling glad she had decided to hide her phone in the tissue box as usual, instead of under her pillow which was more convenient.
Xiaoya said nothing, but she agreed silently.
Xiaoya's mother: "Yu Xiaoya, I need you to tell me the truth, understood? Do you have a boyfriend?"
It had been a long time since Xiaoya had slept this deep. So when she was shaken awake by her mother, she was still in a daze. "Are we there?" Xiaoya looked out the car window where beyond it was a large sports field, looking nothing like a resort. Xiaoya then asked, "Where are we?"
"Xiaoya, I'll be waiting for you downstairs. When you read this, message me back, okay?"
Her mother neither affirmed nor denied it, instead only said, "The only thing you should focus on is studying properly."
Suddenly, her mother asked, "Have you broken up with her?"
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
"Yunta High School," her mother replied.
The person she loved was standing right there, right in the first floor of her building, but she couldn't bring herself to face her mother and say they wanted to be together.
Another two days later, Xiaoya's mother called her out and handed her a suitcase. "You'll be going for a month this time so pack all of your assignments."
N/A
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
And not two two seconds later, Lu Xiaobei sent her a message in return, as though she had been staring at her phone the entire time.
Xiaoya's looked back at her father humming happily as he washed the dishes in the kitchen. When she was little, she thought she would've found a boyfriend similar to her father. He would be very mature most of the time, and occasionally he'd be silly but amusing—like a big kid. He also have a successful career, take care of his family, and when they got married, maybe they'd have a son then a daughter, and grow old together. But now, such a thing was no longer possible.
Xiaoya's mother closed the door, her voice calming somewhat as she then asked, "Tell me truth. I promise I won't tell your father, alright? Are you and Lu Xiaobei dating?"
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
Xiaoya wanted to shake her head, she wanted to say no, but she was completely frozen stiff, unable to move and do anything.
Xiaoya's mother saw her daughter say nothing in return, and so directly stated, "Understood."
Xiaoya's mother snapped, "Look directly at my eyes and answer the question!"
Xiaoya: "? ? ?"
But at current, with such a scene unfolding, she couldn't say a word.
She couldn't, she didn't want to break up with Lu Xiaobei. She wouldn't entertain even the thought of it.
Xiaoya then snatched the bra from her mother's hand, doing so in such a flurry it looked like a robbery. The room then fell into an awkward silence.
Her mother: "In Yunta Town. Although this high school's advanced classes are not as good as the ones in your former high school, the management here is strict. It's also an especially good school for liberal arts, as every year there are a lot of students graduating from here that enter top universities."
Lu Xiaobei: What happened?
At the dinner table, Xiaoya's chopsticks froze. "I'm sure. I like liberal arts more."
iana: Some clarification because I'm in no mood for linking footnotes. About the transfer, in case you forgot, Xiaoya was registered at the high school she qualified for via entrance exams but attended a different high school as a loan student, so it wasn't a full transfer. So this time around she is a registered student on Yunta High (Boarding School). About wishing Lu Xiaobei hadn't returned, don't misunderstand our girl, it's just that she actually had a relationship at that time, not feeling guilty all around and kept under lock and key. Looks like she was planning to wait it out but her mother pulled a trap card. Trust me when I say being transferred out of the blue feels like sht, and the reasoning behind hers must feel like crap flakes on poop icing on top of a sht cake. Remember, despite her parents being a$ right now, they are still her parents, she doesn't/didn't want to disappoint them—or Lu Xiaobei, so our girl is stuck; and she was precious from the get go. She's not the type to expect a reaction like this. Especially, since she hasn't actually done anything! Okay, I'm done. This chapter hurt my heart, and I am not okay. o(TヘTo) ... o(一︿一+)o
Xiaoya looked as though someone had grabbed her by the throat. Unable to let out even a sob, as only her tears now streamed from her eyes uncontrollably.
Lying on her bed, Xiaoya wanted to do nothing. The summer air was warm, but throughout her body she could only feel a chill.
Xiaoya's mother held up the pure white bra covered in a delicate lace.
Hearing her mother's gentleness in her mother's words, Xiaoya's rapidly pounding heart calmed. Her mind was an utter mess, but upon seeing her mother's gentle manner all her defences had fallen away. So with a pair of eyes brimming with tears, Xiaoya finally replied, "Yes."
Xiaoya couldn't believe it. "You transferred me?!"
Xiaoya's mother froze. Her hand reacting much faster than her mind, slapping her daughter right across her face.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
Xiaoya lifted her head, staring into her mother's eyes. "I don't have a boyfriend."
The psychological pressure Xiaoya has been experiencing these days had been enormous, and at current, with both her father and mother together it was hard to relax even a little. Resting her head on the back of the chair, she quickly fell asleep.
For some words, there was simply no use in saying them.
From the front seat, Xiaoya's father stretched out his head. "Don't yell at your mother. Both of us hate the idea of it too, but we can't just sit by and watch you ruin your life by falling in love with some gangster."
In the living room, the television was always running so Xiaoya closed her door, not even in the mood to take out her phone. Lately, although she was still in contact with Lu Xiaobei, all she messaged every day was a hello.
It could've only been Lu Xiaobei's. Due to Xiaoya's mother sudden entry earlier, Lu Xiaobei only had enough time to put on a T-shirt and so hid it under the blanket, and so had forgotten to take it when she left.
And for other words, neither had to speak them for them to be understood.
After her father was done with the dishes, he walked into the living room, picked up the remote, and without asking, switched to channel to a ballgame.
"Oh." Xiaoya's mother indicated she understood, but again asked, "She didn't go back to her house, but instead came directly to ours?"
Xiaoya: Be careful on your way back.
Xiaoya jumped off the bed, rushing over, holding the handle of her door, wanting to go outside, wanting to run down to Lu Xiaobei, wanting to see her. Her door then opened with a click, immediately breaking Xiaoya from her trance. No, she couldn't go meet Lu Xiaobei right then.
Tears poured from Xiaoya's eyes. She cried out honestly, "I didn't fall in love with some gangster!"
Xiaoya's heart grew uneasy, however, she still thought her mother shouldn't have noticed anything. "That's because I asked her to buy me some skincare products while she was in the Netherlands, so today intentionally went to pick her up so I could bring them back." After the cabinet was filled, Lu Xiaobei had placed the skincare products directly on the table. So at current, Xiaoya was glad Lu Xiaobei had left some proof. Pointing to the bottles on the table, she continued, "There right there."
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
"We've been in love too, but over more than a week of vacation, you never went out even once. So I just assumed I had guessed it wrong, but it turns out it was because she was just never in the country. Tell me, how could it be possible that the first thing someone does after returning to the country to not be going to their but to come find you. I saw it, in that open open suitcase... everything in there was all bought for you. Even best friends don't do that sort of thing. I didn't want to say this to you in front of the person you liked, but you must sever your ties with her. You will go to her yourself and say that you're still a high school student and you need to focus on your studies and now isn't the time for any relationships."
That night, Xiaoya's mother packed a suitcase for her, so Xiaoya asked, "Are we going to Little Nancheng? When are we leaving?"
Xiaoya's face paled as she stare at her mother in disbelief.
Xiaoya's mother no longer argued with her daughter, only stepping out the car and saying to her, "Get out, I'm taking you to go register. We transferred you fully this time, so now you're registered at this school. Yunta High has strict rules. It has classes throughout the weekend and lets off for a holiday once a month. When that time comes we'll drive here to come pick you up."
"Yunta High School," her mother replied.
Her chest tightened with unease, but Xiaoya still returned to her room as told. She sat in her chair, peeking towards the living room, but then her mother got up and closed the door to the living room without sparing her a glance.
That's... that's...
Xiaoya wanted to shake her head, she wanted to say no, but she was completely frozen stiff, unable to move and do anything.
Not wanting to argue with her, Xiaoya's father simply added, "She's a big girl now, so just talk it out. Don't raise you hand." Then one he was done, he returned to the living room, no longer paying any mind the mother-daughter pair.
The phone shook again, Lu Xiaobei sent a new message: I'm heading back. I'm walking by your window now, can you see me.
Hearing the commotion, Xiaoya's father came in from the living room and said to them both, "Why are you being so harsh to the kid? Holiday's are hard to come by, it's good for her to go hang out and enjoy herself, to be lively."
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