CH 5.1

“Really… I really…”

Hwawoon was in a state of bewilderment that he could only repeat his words—couldn’t say anything else. It was because the evil conducts done by Hwawoon—Yeon-bin, were beyond imagination. 

Hwawoon, who got his breath snatched by only hearing that, now couldn’t face Ahjin properly. It seemed like he finally knew the reason Ahjin and the court ladies of Jeongan Palace were always trembling and bowing whenever they saw him.

Although all of this was very sudden, and it was hard to just accept the fact that he had his body changed overnight, he couldn’t stay feeling detached and flustered. Since Hwawoon even lost the body for him to come back, the only choice left for him was to survive in this palace. That was why he needed to quickly grasp the situation, then pretended to be Yeon Hwawoon—with no one knowing. 

It was the reason I wanted to hear properly from Ahjin what kind of person the former Yeonbin was. It was, but.

“… Why hasn’t His Majesty kicked me out?”

Hwawoon unconsciously muttered. 

As Hwawoon showed no sign of getting angry or furious no matter what kind of truth she had said, Ahjin, who had relaxed, quickly answered.

“Of course that is because Lord Yeon is His Majesty’s most trusted person.” 

“Ah… if it’s Lord Yeon… you-you must be talking about my father… right?”

In an instant, his heart cracked somewhere. He felt like his tongue got twisted by the word father—as if he just learned a new word that never existed in this world. For Hwawoon, there were no memories of him opening his mouth to say, mother or father. 

“Haah…”

As he fully realized the sudden situation he was faced with, the sigh continuously flowed out. He, the lonely orphan who had no relatives to rely on, now became the son of the most rumored faithful, meritorious retainer of the empire. 

Was it only that? Hawoon originally had a calm temperament and was quiet. He didn’t like having arguments with other people. Even when he subdued the customers who made a problem in the inn, he almost never raised his voice. He was someone who lived quietly.

Then, what about himself now? He rose to the bin position because he was the Emperor’s concubine, but at the same time, he was the concubine who was very loathed by the Emperor. All the people in the palace feared him or despised him, and even the young court ladies of Jeongan Palace saw him as a demon who liked to act violently and torture people around him.

Because of that, even for Hwawoon, who had made up his mind to adapt to this situation no matter what, the road in front of him was dark and suffocating—as if draining his spirit.

Only when Hwawoon’s complexion darkened, Ahjin realized she had talked too excitedly before closing her lips—gasp, then she checked on her master. The fear of what if he suddenly shouted, ‘you wench’ surged up like a tidal wave. Nevertheless, Hwawoon only let out a deep breath, then spoke quietly.

“First… it seems like I have to start with things I can do now. Is there perhaps any kids in Jeongan Palace who got hurt or sick because of me?”

“… Pardon?”

“No. It doesn’t have to be caused by me… I want you to check for the kids who had through a hard time because I couldn’t take care of them properly, then report it to me.”

“…… Pardon?”

Once again, Ahjin infringed her rule and asked back twice. Although she clearly heard the words ‘taking care of the kids’ from her master who never blinked his eyes even when he saw a lot of people in the palace were getting carried out while soaked in blood, Ahjin couldn’t properly understand the meaning of that.

“First… right, let’s start from that.”

Hwawoon felt like his head was going to crack just by hearing the story. He shook his head, then gestured with his hand to tell Ahjin it was fine for her to leave. 

After all, there was not much for Hwawoon to do now. Especially, because his relationship with the Emperor wasn’t something that could be easily recovered no matter what he tried, he made a determination to hide from the emperor’s eyes just like a dead person. 

Right at that time, instead of leaving the room, Ahjin turned back and asked Hwawoon with a face full of suspicion.

“Your Highness… you don’t plan to kill all those kids, right?”

Hwawoon wanted to faint once more.

***