CH 21.1

“You said that it was because you love me, but you ignore me, deceive me, and force me to love only you without caring about my situation. Is that what love means to you?”

In order to protect her dignity, the empress helped the emperor, and in order to make his mind at ease, she sometimes tolerated the indulgence of favored concubines and pretended not to know the wounds she received. In addition, she had to endure when the concubines were jealous and envious towards each other and learn to be content with the short night the emperor gave to her. 

In the first place, no one, including the emperor, came here owing to love. However, caring for each other, being considerate, and suppressing individual desires in this tied relationship was life in this imperial palace. And Yihan was well aware that even if that was not love, all of that was their sincerity in caring for the emperor. 

Therefore, how could the emperor think that Yeonbin, who forced him to only look at him, was being more sincere than the others? 

“I love you more than anybody else in this imperial palace, Your Majesty! That is the reason I could endure the night you didn’t come to me. The other concubines who said that they could understand when you didn’t come, only don’t love you more than I do!” 

Perhaps he became impatient hearing the emperor’s voice that turned colder, Yeonbin once again shed tears with that pitiable face, but the emperor was fed up with all this now. He had scolded him and he also comforted him. He punished him by not visiting Jeongan Palace, and sometimes he played along with his tricks.

Still, those were useless. Nothing seemed to satisfy Yeonbin. Despite knowing that it was impossible, Yeonbin kept acting violently in hope that he would have the emperor’s only and absolute love. On the day when the emperor did not come, he boastfully tortured his powerless subordinates and treated them like a hostage to display in front of the emperor. As if declaring that the reason these people were tortured was the emperor’s fault.

“If you try to force me only to get what you want in this imperial palace, where no one can live by getting everything they want, then what you actually love the most is not me, but yourself. Am I wrong?” 

The emperor, who was tired of everything now, slowly walked past Yeonbin. Yeonbin cried and begged, but there was no hesitation in the emperor’s footsteps leaving Jeongan Palace.

Now, the emperor did not believe in the love said by Yeonbin anymore.

***

“Your Majesty, it’s already late. How about calling it a day now?” 

It was only after hearing Eunuch Oh’s worried voice did Yihan realize he had been focusing on his work for too long. When he lifted his head while massaging his stiff nape, he saw it was already dark outside. Considering that the sun was getting longer day by day as summer approached, it seemed that a long time had really passed.

Summer was a troublesome season as ever. Being in the emperor position, there was no season in the whole year that went through without trouble, but summer was especially a handful. When there was no drought, then there was the flood. When they barely held on against the typhoon, an epidemic spread because of the heat.

In the season transitioning from spring to summer, people inevitably went starving, and as a result, there were not a few regions that were shaken due to a public sentiment that the emperor was not being attentive. They had to go through this time well to cope with the numerous variables that would occur in the summer.

Because of that reason, the emperor sent people to check on each province even before winter completely passed. However, the reports sent by them were not a little, so he spent this day busily checking on those, discussing proper countermeasures, and made the decision. Except for when he went to the Empress Palace to have dinner, Yihan stayed all day in Cheonggeon Hall and Anjeong Palace to do his work.

“Where will you go, Your Majesty?”

Yihan’s steps stopped while he turned his neck around. He felt like the thoughts that he pushed back with burying himself at work were crawling up through the crack made by Eunuch Oh’s question. Yihan’s gaze stared far away.

As if it had become a habit, he recalled Hwawoon that he saw in the empress palace this morning.

If it had only been a few days ago, Yihan would have expected this on his way to the Empress Palace. That Yeonbin acted rudely not only to other concubines but also to the Empress. Sukbi, who got angry by his behavior, would fight him so a quarrel would happen, and they would calm down only after the Empress stepped up and raised her voice. Yihan pictured it like that as if he had seen such a scene.

However, today was different.