CH 25.1

As Seoseo approached Ahjin first among them and asked, Ahjin answered by looking down.

“Fine? His wrist is already swollen and looks pale. I think he’ll get bruises tomorrow.”

The expressions of the court ladies next to Ahjin turned sour after hearing her answer. Once she talked about it, Ahjin, who did not talk more in front of Hwawoon because she was concerned about her master’s complicated feelings, felt like continuing to talk in fumes as if she were soaring fever inside. 

“Why did His Majesty suddenly do that? His Highness was only enjoying the moonlight. Is that such a big sin that needs His Majesty to come here late at night and hurt our master?”

Indeed, it was a complacent and profane word. After all, no one else was listening anyway, and if Ahjin had to hold herself from saying this, she felt like she would suffer from distress. She had been upset, but how could her master only say all of that was his fault? 

The faces of those surrounding Ahjin became darker. Previously, they were always able to understand the emperor who treated their master harshly, but the feelings they faced today,

Yeah, it was certainly different from the past.

***

“Empress.”

Yihan spoke after a very long time. He didn’t touch the tea prepared by the empress at all. Jaran, the empress, who knew that the emperor’s mood wasn’t good from the moment he stepped into the empress palace, only stayed silent and waited until he spoke first. She looked softly at the emperor and answered, “Yes, Your Majesty.”

“Empress, you…” 

Yihan hesitated. In fact, Yihan himself didn’t know what he wanted to say. He wanted to pour out the stuffy feelings he felt in his heart, but he couldn’t understand what was the feeling he felt. He didn’t know how to explain that feeling, so he was at a loss.

Furthermore, he didn’t know how many times he looked back on his way from Jeongan Palace to the Empress Palace. Also, how many times did he close his mouth, which was ready to give an order to stop the palanquin? 

As if it had become a habit, the emperor clenched his fist to erase the image of Hwawoon under the moonlight that was about to show up clearly again, but Yihan was hardly able to erase his image as if someone had forcibly engraved it in his head. 

“Empress, about Yeonbin…” 

After hesitating for a while, the emperor spoke to the empress again. Alas, those words didn’t end completely again.  

The emperor actually wanted to ask the empress about Yeonbin. About how he wanted to change and the strange behavior he did. It was because he wanted to reassure his mind.  He hoped someone would tell him that Yeonbin didn’t change, couldn’t change, and all the behavior he showed recently was false.

“No. Nothing. By the way, you must be tired because I came at a very late time.”

Nevertheless, the emperor couldn’t ask that. He couldn’t bring himself to ask that. It was because Yihan was not ready to accept any answer at this time. 

He was afraid the empress wouldn’t give the answer he wanted. He wavered if she would ask him to trust Yeonbin because she thought Yeonbin really changed. Yihan didn’t want to add a bigger agony to his complicated heart because of Yeonbin.

However, at the same time, Yihan was also afraid in case the empress would agree with him. It was so contradictory to ask such a question and to be afraid of getting the desired answer, but that very contradiction was happening in the emperor’s mind now.

‘Yeonbin doesn’t change at all, and he couldn’t change. His figure that he shows to Your Majesty now is merely to deceive you again.’ Because the emperor wondered if the empress would say that to him, he couldn’t bring up the question he wanted to ask till the end. 

“No way, Your Majesty. It is always my greatest pleasure for you to visit the Empress Palace.”

Yihan tried to calm his confused mind by looking at the Empress’s soft and gentle smile.

For a very short moment, he recalled Hwawoon, who self-mockingly said that being far from the emperor’s gaze was his way to help him, but just like what Hwawoon said, that was the treatment he deserved, so the emperor tried hard to disregard that.

He really wanted to stop caring about him. Really.