CH 31.2

Only when the late night appeared, did Hawoon finally return to the room located in the corner on the second floor of the inn. It was a room that was too narrow to be used as a guest room, so it was used to store sundries, but Hawoon had been using it since he started to work and live in the inn. As he sat for a while in the worn-out bed, he felt like the tiredness from the whole day surged up, so Hwawoon closed his eyes tight once and then opened them back. Today had been quite a hard day for him.

After letting out a short sigh while looking down at the floor, Hawoon’s eyes turned to the moon through the window. Hawoon, who was quietly watching the moon for a while, raised up his body and followed the moonlight that flooded the floor to the window.

There was only a big moon in the dark night sky. Hawoon carefully opened the window, then he sat on the window frame, feeling the night wind swarming him as he took a deep breath. At the end of the day, when he had moved as if he had become someone’s puppet, the sense of becoming a person spread to his fingertips.

Life had always been a matter of survival for Hawoon. He had no spare time for other things but survival. Hawoon only worked hard so that his body wouldn’t starve—enduring and enduring the hard days. 

For that reason, Hawoon had no dream. There was nothing such a big future he envisioned. Hawoon was enough with a life where he wouldn’t starve and could sleep in a safe place.

Well, he had no desire to achieve a big target, but even if he had such a thing, it would be impossible for Hawoon to have a chance to achieve it. Thus, Hawoon was really content with his life now, where he could take good care of himself. 

However, sometimes—really sometimes. 

Hawoon tried to imagine a life with a dream—when he heard the stories exchanged boisterously by the guests of the inn. When he saw people dreaming about something more than making ends meet, he wondered how that felt. He wondered what kind of sensation of desiring something more than eating and living. Hawoon had been curious about such things for a long time.

However, the life that was allowed for Hawoon this time was only this far. Perhaps, until the day he died, there would be no such thing as him dreaming of a higher place he couldn’t reach. Therefore, Hawoon only left it as a small curiosity in his heart, spending the night looking at the moonlight for a long time.

This was a story that happened before Hawoon met Yihan.

***

Opening his eyes wide, Yihan stared at the ceiling while laying down. He couldn’t fall asleep.

He turned his body so that he faced his left side this time. It was boiling inside him. He couldn’t fall asleep.

Again, he turned his body so that he faced his right side. His heart ran as it pleased, as though it was broken. He couldn’t fall asleep.

“What on…!”

In the end, Yihan couldn’t endure it anymore so he sprang up to sit, fuming while looking at the air. He wondered if he really had gone crazy. He was going mad because he had been in this state since returning to Anjeong Palace from Jeongan Palace, showing no sign of calming down.

He didn’t visit Jeongbin. Did he only not visit Jeongbin? Yihan completely forgot his agenda to visit Jeongbin as he returned to Anjeong Palace. It was fortunate that Eunuch Oh told him about it first, if not, then he would make Jeongbin wait for him without notice.

“I’m really out of my mind…”

Yihan mumbled as he quietly stared at the creased blanket, which was like his heart. There were a lot of things and feelings he had experienced the whole night, but he couldn’t understand them at all.

He was feeling anxious if he didn’t see Yeon Hwawoon. He felt like getting annoyed but also feeling like getting angry for no reason. He even blamed Hwawoon for making him uneasy by saying such words, making him want to scold him the next time they met.

Alas, the situation turned worse when he saw Yeon Hwawoon. His feeling acted on its own when Hwawoon was in front of him, making him feel it was better if he could just get annoyed and angry. He couldn’t explain the feeling he felt when he saw Yeon Hwawoon. He was only feeling in chaos. 

Just like tens of thousands of colors engulfed a lump of fire. As if he was struggling to untangle the tangled threads—didn’t know where the ends were, only the vague and dizzy emotions were entangled tremendously, making Yihan’s heart pounded and uncomfortable. 

Yihan eventually slammed back to the bed while groaning. In his mind, he wanted to run back to Jeongan Palace right away and ask, ‘what have you done to me?’, but he couldn’t do something lame like that considering his dignity as the emperor.

Without properly covering his body with the crumpled blanket, Yihan turned to the wall and curled his back. Strangely, he felt a little sad, but he believed he could never be sad because of Yeon Hwawoon, so Yihan thought he was not sad at all.

Of course, lying in such a pitiful state might lead to a question of whether it showed the emperor’s dignity, but anyway, Yihan wasn’t sad at all. He just couldn’t sleep.

***

“Anyway… it’s fortunate that nothing happened in particular.”

Before he went to sleep, Ahjin applied the ointment on Hwawoon’s bruised wrist and then said that while blowing the wound. Looking at that, Hwawoon smiled quietly and soon asked.

“Fortunate? What?”

“I’m talking about His Majesty. I was really worried if His Majesty would hurt you again, Your Highness.”

Ahjin answered as she pouted. Before the emperor came, she soothed the nervous Hwawoon by saying, “It’s okay,” and “It’s only His Majesty visiting,” but it seemed like she was worried about that inside. Delighted with her concern, this time Hwawoon burst into small laughter and said again.

“You are worried about everything. Actually, His Majesty didn’t make this wrist become like this because he meant so.”  

“I know, but… however hard I think about it, I think His Majesty is too mean nowadays. Even though you’re making efforts like this, Your Highness…” 

“I have only made a little effort for a few days. You are the one who’s weird to believe in me in a short time.”