CH 91

“Do you think I’m really going to Jeongan Palace? I was just saying it.” 

“Were you? This person went too far again.” 

“Hmph. Let’s go to Anjeong Palace.” 

Eunuch Oh was the only one who knew the emperor didn’t even think about heading to the Empress Palace or other concubines’ residences. The eunuch bowed his head without recommending another residence for the emperor, who was not yet ready to fully realize his feelings. 

On the palanquin, the emperor said. 

“When it’s dawn in the morning, find out if Yeonbin drank the tea I sent him before going to bed.” 

“… Yes, Your Majesty.” 

Yihan pretended not to know a moment of silence from Eunuch Oh. He himself thought it was so ridiculous and stupid, and Yihan comforted himself by thinking that it was fine for him to say such strange things because he endured his desire to run to Jeongan Palace right away.

***

“Shh.”

Entering the empress dowager’s bedroom carefully, a court lady hurriedly stopped moving at the shush from the empress. The empress was sitting in front of the bed, where the empress dowager was lying down, and massaging her arm. It hadn’t been long since the empress came to give her morning greetings, but the empress dowager seemed to have fallen asleep. 

The empress dowager, who had been sick for a long time, mostly spent her time sleeping. The empress stopped moving after massaging the empress dowager’s arm a few more times, then looked at her face. The empress dowager, who had an old and thin face, seemed so exhausted that she could not be called the proud mother of the emperor who held the world in his hands. The empress looked at the empress dowager’s sleeping face for a long time.

In the eyes of the world, the empress dowager was the true winner. Although she was not loved by her husband when she was in the seat of the empress, and she had to spend a long humiliating time because of the concubines who acted up with the emperor’s love on their backs, her son eventually rose to the throne. She rose to the position of the only empress dowager after enduring a long time, so it could be said that she was a woman who sat in the winner’s seat after a very long hardship. 

However, the empress dowager was unhappy. She had always been like that from before becoming an empress until now. The reason was that the only thing she desired for so desperately was not to become the empress nor the empress dowager. She was a woman who only wanted love from the emperor, her husband.

If she could win the emperor’s love, she would have gladly given up the empress’s position. If by becoming a concubine she could become the emperor’s most beloved woman, she was willing to give up her seat as the official wife and become a concubine. If someone offered to give the emperor’s love in return for removing her son from the crown prince’s throne, she would even push her son. She was such a helpless person for love. 

“What’s so great about it…” 

Jaran’s voice rang lowly inside the empress dowager’s hushed and gloomy bedroom.

Jaran actually wanted to ask her mother-in-law for a very long time. Is that such a great thing? Were you so desperate to get the emperor’s love even after you became an empress? 

Of course, the emperor’s love in the imperial family symbolized power, so Jaran knew that all women who served the emperor had no choice but to pay attention to where the emperor’s heart was headed. However, Jaran, who had long watched all the waves in the imperial family as the wife of the crown prince, thought that the biggest defeat of the empress was that she loved her emperor with all her heart. 

No matter how great the emperor’s love was, there was a great distance between the empress and the concubines. Even if the emperor had other women he loved, as long as he wasn’t a bloodthirsty tyrant, he could not ignore the empress’s family, the opposition of the ministers, and the public sentiment that protected the empress to do anything about the empress’s position recklessly. 

Nevertheless, the empress dowager was devastated and distressed as if the world had abandoned her just because she couldn’t win the emperor’s heart. Even though the concubines dared to look down on her, she only cowered without giving a proper fight. In the empress dowager’s mind, she herself was already a loser, and the noble consort was an unwavering power holding the emperor’s heart. She always laid low in fear that she would get bigger hate from the emperor if she treated the noble consort badly. 

She could have stopped it if she tried to. She could have dealt with it wisely before the noble consort became so impudent. Despite countless opportunities and power in her hands, the empress dowager insisted on becoming a poor woman who was abandoned. Jaran couldn’t understand it at all. 

Therefore, how easy the crown prince would be seen as he only worked on protecting his cowering mother? Who wouldn’t have thought of doing something to him? The noble consort and her son were, of course, high sinners who deserved to be punished more than a thousand times, but to be very honest, Jaran understood their choice rather than the empress dowager. 

Jaran was a kind and benevolent empress. No matter which residence the emperor stayed in, she wouldn’t get jealous like that, and she always took care of the concubines and held them under her wing. However, the reason Jaran could be so benevolent was that they did not dare to look down on the authority of the empress. It was possible because the concubines sincerely followed the will of the empress and did not covet the seat of the empress. 

It was the same with the old Yeonbin. Even if he was rude to the empress, the reason the empress did not suppress him was not that she was wary of Yeonbin and his family, but because Yeonbin was only greedy about the emperor’s heart.

No matter how much Yeonbin longed for the emperor’s heart, the relationship between the emperor and Yeonbin only grew farther as the days passed, but even if Yeonbin really won the emperor’s heart, nothing would have changed much. The current emperor was never the one to do anything about the empress’s position arbitrarily. Even if the emperor was really blinded by love and thought of changing the empress’s position, Jaran was confident that she would not collapse from such love play. 

The empress, who had been quietly staring at the empress dowager’s face for a long time, soon rose from her seat. Walking past the court lady, who only bowed her head as if she didn’t see anything nor hear anything, the empress, who just left the empress dowager’s palace, looked so big that it couldn’t be easily guessed how she had originally looked. 

As she walked out to the front of the palace, the sun, which was quite stinging, shone on her head. 

Even after giving birth to a precious eldest son of the imperial family, the empress dowager trembled with anxiety all her life and eventually claimed the position of an unhappy woman. Jaran still had no children, and sometimes some people talked about it with anxiety. However, even if she could not bear a child in her stomach, Jaran, who never intended to become an unhappy woman, walked forward without looking back at the empress dowager’s palace. 

One empress was unhappy because she was not loved even though she had everything in her hands, but Jaran was a woman who didn’t need any love on her way. 

***

“My Lord, can’t you visit His Highness Yeonbin for once?”

After Juwon returned from the palace, Sukjin, who had been wanting to say something, finally asked carefully. After being stabbed by a needle while embroidering a few days ago, Sukjin could not resolve her anxiety. Juwon, who looked at Sukjin’s face for a while, answered.

“Today, His Majesty said that His Highness Yeonbin’s wounds are healing well, and although he is still in pain, the imperial clinic is doing their best to take care of him, so don’t worry too much.”

“…”

“Unlike before, His Majesty seems to be very concerned this time.” 

Juwon recalled the emperor, who called him up after the morning assembly today to explain the state of Yeonbin himself. The emperor had a guilty face as if Juwon were really his father-in-law. It was not a day or two that Yeonbin had been sick, but it was the first time that the emperor had spoken with such a worried expression, so he was quite taken aback. There were a lot of things that Juwon had been surprised and confused about lately. Then, Sukjin continued. 

“But, My Lord, I’m nervous.” 

“His Majesty is taking good care of him, so what are you worried about?”

“He was a child who said to throw away the puppy he was raising because he hated to see it whimpering in front of him.” 

“…”

“But such a child got hurt instead of Her Highness Sukbi? My lord, are you sure you don’t get bothered by this?” 

Juwon couldn’t give any answer. That was because Juwon himself had been thinking about it since the moment he heard his son was injured. Even if it were for the emperor, whom he loved so much, it was hard to believe that he risked his life. Yet he wounded his body for Sukbi, who was not the emperor and the one he always picked a fight with. It would have been hard to believe even if he saw it with his own eyes.

TN:

I don’t think this is important, but I remembered a more suitable translation for the concubine ranks recently. That’s why the noble concubine changed into the noble consort. Bin = concubine. Bi = consort. Gwibi = noble consort. The noble consort one will usually get bestowed with another name (our mc will later), but it seems like this noble consort didn’t get her another name mentioned because she’s not that important.

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