CH 130

Therefore, he couldn’t deny the Empress’ words, but he was also embarrassed to confirm them, so Hwawoon hesitated. Meanwhile, Jaran, who had been smiling for a while, soon opened her mouth and her smile disappeared completely.

“Yeonbin.” 

Suddenly, the air in the room changed. This was because the weight of Jaran’s voice had changed. Just by calling his name, he could tell that Jaran was trying to bring up something absolutely out of the ordinary. Hwawoon answered, “Yes, Your Majesty,” and Jaran immediately continued.

“But you are a man’s body.”

“…” 

“It means that no matter how much His Majesty favors you in the future, you will never bear children.” 

Jaran examined Hwawoon’s face as she said that. She also wondered how he would react to the words, which were quite natural but could never be natural in the palace. But Hwawoon, who had never thought of it as his own to worry about, just kept looking calm.

“Yes, Your Majesty. I know.” 

“… Are you not afraid of it?”

So the empress asked. Although Hwawoon was weak, he was not as seriously ill as the male concubine, who was said to have monopolized the emperor’s love in the past. In this imperial palace, where once a person enters, he or she cannot leave even after death, Jaran wanted to know what kind of future Yeon Hwawoon wanted to have. 

“His Majesty has given me an undeserved grace, and you are so generous to me, so what is there for me to be afraid of?”

“The position of a concubine without a child in the imperial palace is like a lamp before the wind. Although there is no one in the internal court who has given birth to a child, someone must carry on His Majesty’s blood for the sake of the nation.”

“…” 

“This means that in this palace, where the direction of power changes with the slightest breeze, you must live long days relying solely on His Majesty’s favor, without the slightest shield to protect you. Are you…” 

There is no eternal power in the world. One day, the reputation of the Yeon family wouldn’t be the same as before, and perhaps, it could come unexpectedly sooner. In such a situation, if the child who would rise to the crown prince position regarded Yeonbin as a nuisance. If he held a grudge because he thought that Hwawoon monopolized his father’s love and made his mother lonely. And one day, if the emperor’s love even left his side. Then, who would protect Yeon Hwawoon?

“Are you really not afraid of that?”

Fear could make a person weak, or even vicious. There had been so many people in the history of this nation who had done something unacceptable just to protect themselves and their possessions. Perhaps it was human nature, something that even a concubine could not escape. 

Hwawoon, sitting there, mulled over Jaran’s words. Nothing the Empress said was wrong. It sounded like a warning to Hwawoon that he shouldn’t stay as comfortable as he was now, but to do anything to protect himself at any moment. 

But Hwawoon wasn’t afraid. He wasn’t worried about the distant future. In the first place, he had never envisioned the future. There was nothing he wanted. Going through the day as he lived and stopping when death had come. Hawoon had lived such a life for a very long time. 

The current emperor was the one who became the future for Hawoon. After facing the emperor, Hawoon held in his mind for the first time a tomorrow he had never dreamed of, a future he wanted to grasp. So, whatever it would be didn’t matter to Hwawoon now. Even if last night was the first and the last. Even if it was a one-time dream. Even if the Emperor would never visit him again after this day. Even so. 

Hwawoon, who came into this palace recklessly just because he wanted to stay in the same palace with the emperor, felt that he had already gained an undeserved future. 

Even though he had to die once, Hwawoon, who held such a precious thing and such precious people in his hands, no longer had any greed.

After a short silence, Hwawoon spoke up. 

“Your Majesty. It wouldn’t be strange if I had died that day.”

Without further explanation, the empress could tell when “that day” Hwawoon was referring to. The day that could be said as the day Yeon Hwawoon was reborn anew. When death and new life coexisted. 

“I’m already receiving too much for my extended life… So what else would I dare to covet?” 

“An extended life…”

“I will just live the rest of my life in this palace where His Majesty stays, serving you, Empress, and living quietly. That’s all I want.” 

Hawoon’s body was already gone. This was not Hawoon’s life, but the life as Hwawoon that Hawoon got, which was absurdly excessive for him. Therefore, even if the rest of his life would fall into a mudslide again, Hwawoon would gladly accept it as his own. 

Jaran, who had confirmed that Hwawoon’s attitude really showed no other intentions, said. 

“Listen, Yeonbin.”

As the weight felt in her voice changed once more, becoming even heavier, Hwawoon rose from his seat and put one of his knees on the floor, saying, “Yes, Your Majesty.” Jaran went on. 

“From now on, hold dear the heart of His Majesty as you do now.”

Jaran didn’t know how big and heavy the emperor’s heart was for Yeonbin, but at least Jaran knew that Yeon Hwawoon was her biggest opportunity. Perhaps this man would let the emperor, who had only lived as an emperor, know the happiness as “Sung Yihan.” Jaran hoped for it. 

“Don’t covet a position that you shouldn’t covet.” 

Thus, Jaran pondered. If Yeon Hwawoon would keep his duty. 

“Don’t be greedy for what you shouldn’t have.” 

Without hurting others by wielding the emperor’s love as a weapon. 

“… If you really live like that, as you have told me before.”

If he could continue affectionately embracing the fragile heart of the emperor as he was now. If so, 

“Then I, the Empress.”

Then Jaran would surely. 

“I will protect you in any storm of power.” 

She would protect Yeon Hwawoon as how she protected herself and the emperor. 

It was the day when the empress’s long-cherished desire, which even the emperor did not know, finally unfolded through Yeon Hwawoon.

***

“…”

Yihan, walking in the courtyard of Jungcheon Palace to catch his breath for a while, suddenly looked down at his sleeves. It wasn’t his first time wearing it, but the robe of dark-red color felt strange for some reason. 

Usually, the emperor’s robe was prepared in three different types every morning, and the emperor would choose one of them. However, Yihan had never picked anything himself. He didn’t care about whatever kind of clothes he would wear. So it was always up to the person who took care of his clothes on that day to decide on Yihan’s clothes. 

But today was different. Normally, Eunuch Oh would choose anything as Yihan ordered, but this morning, Yihan chose the dark red robe among the three different colored robes in front of him. This was because he remembered Hwawoon’s hair that was scattered on the blanket like embroidery the moment he saw it. Once he remembered it, he didn’t want to choose another outfit. He had lived thinking that it didn’t matter whatever he wore, but strangely, he felt like the day would go on properly only if he wore that dark red robe. 

When Yihan touched a robe, Eunuch Oh, who was preparing to choose randomly as usual, looked so surprised. Remembering it made Yihan feel embarrassed, and the back of his neck was burning.

Suddenly, he recalled the day when Hwawoon asked him what his favorite color was. Yihan was very taken aback because he had no answer to the question, which would be extremely common to others. Since then, Yihan had been thinking about his favorite color. He thought about his favorite music, paintings, books, and such. It was the first time he seriously thought over such trivial things. For the first time in his life, Yihan was genuinely and fiercely agonizing over something that would not help him lead the nation.

“Oh Jinsung.” 

“Yes, Your Majesty.” 

“Is it time for lunch yet?” 

Hearing the sudden question from Yihan, who had been looking only at his sleeves for a long time, Eunuch Oh hurriedly approached and bent down.

“It’s rather early, Your Majesty.” 

Yihan pouted his lips. You really are tactful and annoying at the wrong times, but why are you so slow at times like this? Eunuch Oh peeked up as the Emperor turned silent, and then continued to speak again. 

“But your Majesty. Since you ate less breakfast today, wouldn’t it be good to have an early lunch?”

The scowling face finally turned soft. Yihan dusted off his robe for no reason, then took a quick step and spoke in a loud voice. 

“Let’s go to Seojeong Palace.”