Chapter 38: A Mother’s New Resolve

Chapter 38: A Mother’s New Resolve

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“Eleven thousand years, mother.”

“Eh?”

“I spent eleven thousand years in Murim. This was never false, nor a lie...” I said. “Do you know how much that is? Over a hundred times the lifespan of a person, longer than most of humanity’s history, over a thousand times longer than all the time I spent on Earth.”

“K-Katherine...” My mother gasped as she saw me crying.

I cried.

I couldn’t help it anymore.

“Do you know how painful it was to go through all of that alone? The pain, the blood, the agony. So many times, I forgot who I was. There were years when I had complete amnesia about who I was. There were years that I spent as a slave. And there were hundreds of years I spent hiding and growing stronger; every day, I was chased by others trying to kill me.” I spoke. “Years after years after years. A never-ending nightmare.”

“That much?” Ruby finally spoke after remaining mostly silent through it all. “I-I know you went through a lot, but... I didn’t know that it was that much, though. Maybe you were exaggerating, or maybe you never really went into too many details.”

“I didn’t want to go into details because I knew it would have no point. Why would I want to tell someone else about my traumas? Why would I want to share all the suffering, just to make you feel bad?” I asked. “I just wanted to see you happy. If only the tower hadn’t appeared, maybe I would not have gone to such lengths in these last days. And honestly, I... I can’t say I am sorry. I don’t regret my actions. I can’t. My resolve is unshakable. And my will is eternal. I might be showing myself in a humane shape, in the form you could most likely comprehend.”

“E-Eh?” Ruby felt surprised. "What... what are you talking about?”

“Do you want to see what I truly look like?” I asked them both. “It might turn you blind, and it might even burn your skin and kill you. I contain my true body because it is completely made of pure, refined Nine Heaven Essence. I swallowed four out of five suns of Murim. I am a walking star.”

“T-That’s... Is that even possible?” My mother asked.

“I’ll conjure a stronger barrier, and I’ll show you.” I conjured a powerful barrier around them and then around us. It was at least a hundred times more reinforced than the usual Nine Heaven Protection. “Now, prepare yourselves; you might go blind, so I’ll constantly heal your eyes.”

I took away my clothes, standing completely naked in front of them, as my skin slowly peeled off my body. Something translucent surged from within. There was no blood, no flesh, no bones, no internal organs—just endless rivers of colorful light intersecting together.Rread latest chapters at novelhall.com

Once all my skin was peeled off, they saw what I truly was. A being made of complete and pure light, compressed through almost subatomic levels. The two gasped, stepping back as Ruby screamed as the light burned her eyes, but I healed her quickly.

“W-What is this?!” My mother screamed.

“K-Katherine?! This is you- ugh... It burns so much!” Ruby cried.

“This is what I am,” I said. “As you can see, mother, it is not as if I am a person killing another person. I am a monster, simply taking care of another monster.”

“It is embarrassing to admit that, but I do care.” I nodded. “I could have simply destroyed the world and everything inside of it to kill the gods instantly and gain a lot of experience points, stats, and skills. But I chose not to do that. I could probably end every world in the tower within a couple of hours, but I chose not to do that either. I want to do this my own way; I will go world after world, protect the people inside of these worlds, and make sure their futures are secured without their gods chaining them down.”

“I’m sorry, Katherine.” My mother said, “I’m sorry for doubting you and saying those things; although I still can’t completely agree with you, you’re not wrong either. And... I won’t leave your side. Don’t be dumb, my daughter. You’re my first child, the baby I gave birth to, and the child I raised. I still have clear memories of when you were a little baby girl. Even if you spent that much time somewhere else, within those eyes, I could see her—that child. As a mother, I just wanted to try to correct you, but I suppose you’re already an adult and even older than me now.”

“Still, I appreciate what you did and what you said. Nobody has confronted me in such a way before. It made me rethink everything even more, even if slightly...” I sighed. “I think I need some time to rest before we climb to the second floor. I might need some time alone to think about my decisions and my actions."

“Are you alright?” Ruby asked me. “Big sis, I know I overreact a lot sometimes, but... I also care about you.”

“It’s fine, I know.” I smiled, kissing my sister’s forehead, as my mother gave me one last hug.

“A-And of course I’m coming with you too! You’ve carried me a lot, so I kind of want to pull my own weight for once.” Ruby said. “Juan is coming too; is that okay with you?”

“...It’s fine; I do not like him, but I’ve grown used to his face by now. I might eventually not dislike him.” I said. “He’ll need to get a bit stronger, though. But it’s fine. If he’s your lover, then he’s family.”

“Thank you for accepting him...” Ruby said.

“Thank you for accepting me.” I smiled as I gave them both one last hug. “You don’t know how much I relished a moment like this my entire life back then. Even now, it feels like I am dreaming.”

“My poor girl...” My mother hugged me. “Let’s talk more about these things, okay? I want to learn what you went through there; tell me more and speak with me. Open up; it is fine to tell me these things. I want to understand, and I even want to share that pain with you.”

“Okay, maybe... Maybe one day I’ll do it." I nodded. “Let’s go eat now; I am quite hungry."

“Y-Yes, let’s go.” My mother nodded.

“Yeah...” My sister agreed.

Although I was trying my best, I couldn’t help but feel let down through the rest of the day. It was a mix of sadness, sorrow, frustration, self-hatred, and perhaps some of the traumas resurfacing inside my head.

Living for eleven thousand years fills your head with so many memories that it is oftentimes very hard to navigate through all the emotions and experiences you’ve gone through.

But as the night arrived and I spent time with the twins while looking at the moon in the night sky, their words, their warmth, and their smiles slowly healed my heart once more.

And I smiled as I watched the stars, the moon, and their beautiful smiles.

Thank you for loving me. It is still hard for me to process this emotion, but I will try to love you as much as you love me in return.

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