CH 7

John’s body felt like it was sucked into the dark, disintegrating into tiny molecules. Overwhelmed with fear, he took a quick breath, but his efforts to secure oxygen only caused a greater feeling of suffocation. The fear made his whole body asphyxiate, feeling like a rope pressing him down, making him breathless.

As John struggled, he felt the ground under his feet. The sand digging through the toes was surprisingly soft. Standing on the ground with his two feet, John looked around in vain. It was as dark as space everywhere, and the muggy wind that swept through his skin was unpleasant.

Then, after hesitating, John stepped back and…

‘…!’

A large hand sticking out of the sand grabbed around John’s ankle. John let out a silent scream as he twisted his leg, trying to get away. However, the hand was firm, and the force of the ruthless pull quickly made his knees drop to the ground. On the back of the white hand that came up for his thigh, there was a sullen vein. John intuitively realized who the owner of the hand was.

“…Ack!”

John, who was twitching, managed to wake from his nightmare. With his unstable breathing, his out of oxygen chest painfully heaved up and down. John gasped, trying to come to his senses somehow. Blink, blink. John’s thin eyelids flickered at a rapid pace. Only darkness filled his vision, as if he were still in the dream.

Where… am I?

The place I am in right now…

John suddenly remembered the last thing that happened before he lost consciousness. At the same time, John’s face became pale. 

On my way out of Joseph’s house, I… What happened next? John tried to come to his senses, still feeling confused. He didn’t know whether his encounter with Valentine was a cruel delusion or reality. However, no matter how much he tried to remember what came after that, nothing came to mind.

A dream? Was it a dream…?

John stared at the ceiling while in a daze. His heartbeat slowly calmed down, and the surroundings gradually came into focus. But before John could feel safe, the chandelier hanging on the ceiling glistened vaguely. He was in a strange place.

John tried to get up in a hurry, but soon became stiff. He belatedly realized that he was not alone. A warm body temperature touched his back, buttocks, and thighs, and an uniform breath could be felt on his nape.

“…”

John let out a trembling breath, carefully moving his unresponsive body, as if he had been paralyzed. In the meantime, he found out that his wrists were tied together with a soft cloth. Reality was worse than any nightmare. John chewed his lips with his eyes closed, feeling a mixture of fear and despair.

There was a time when John was afraid that Valentine would find him. However, a long time had passed since then, and the past had been buried like a faded picture. No matter how persistent Valentine was, he couldn’t do anything to a legally dead person. For John, this kind of sudden reunion was unbearable.

I have to get out of here.

Valentine seemed to be asleep, as he showed no signs of moving. John tried to untidy the cloth by all means, moving as carefully as possible. However, even before the effort could bear fruit, John’s shoulders stiffen. He felt as if he had been struck by lightning after he felt a large hand land on his back.

“Even if you try… it’s not going to work out.”

The drowsiness of the voice rang slowly in his ears. John froze, opening his eyes like a frog in front of a snake. Perhaps, because he became extremely sensitive, even the sound of friction between the sheets felt as loud as thunder.

“Why did you wake up already?”

Valentine’s sleepy voice was low and had a strange echo. With a drowsy tossing and turning, Valentine got up. At the same time, the body temperature surrounding John disappeared. John clenched his teeth, trying to suppress the tremor going through him. John felt his body break out in a cold sweat, making  his palm wet.

“John.”

Valentine, whom John hadn’t faced in a few years, felt incredibly unfamiliar to him. It was ironic, considering the fact that Valentine was once the closest person to him. Overwhelmed by his presence, John muttered in a weak voice that was hard even for himself to hear.

“…Untie me.”

“That’s going to be a little difficult.”

“Untie it… Uh.”

Valentine, with his upper body bent, buried his head on John’s neck. John trembled when he felt the scorching touch all over his body. The unhesitating hand groped everywhere, like a snake. As Valentine touched the shoulders, chest, arms, flat stomach, and thighs, those parts hardened like pieces of wood. The caressing hand had no sexual purpose at all, but was only cautious, as if trying to confirm John’s existence.

Valentine, after letting out a long breath, leaned against John’s forehead. His languid breath felt cold.

“We haven’t seen each other in a long time. Aren’t you going to say hello?”

“Let me go…”

“John.”

“… Let, let me go!”

As soon as Valentine’s lips touched the nape of his neck, John was able to move as if he had been unfrozen by magic. John screamed like he was suffocating and thrashed like a madman.

“Shit, let go!”

“Just a little bit more…”

“Let go of me, let go!”

However, even if John strongly resisted, he could not overcome the overwhelming difference in power. John resisted with all his might, but he was no match for Valentine, and eventually became exhausted first after a short physical fight. As John’s rebellion ended, Valentine held John in his arms, as if he had been waiting.

“… Let go of me, please…”

John groaned from being held in Valentine’s arms. The surrounding body heat was hot. The warmer it got, the colder John’s heart became. Tick, tock, tick, tock. Every minute and second passed like eternity. Just when John was trying to somehow recover strength in his exhausted body and mind, Valentine muttered in a dry voice.

“I had a hard time without you.”

“…”

“Don’t disappear from now on.”

At that remark, John felt a strong sense of anger that was about to split the back of his head. It was such a clear feeling that even his fear faded away. The harsh breathing was mixed with cynicism. If his hands were free, John wanted to strangle Valentine.

Instead of thinking of an impossible wish, John chewed on his lips before chewing on his tongue. John, who managed to contain the anger that made his heart jump, answered with a nervous laugh.

“Go fuck yourself.”

Valentine did not respond to the harsh response. The body temperature and pressure surrounding John’s body were only stronger. John grinded his teeth and stressed each syllable.

“You’re disgusting, don’t touch me.”

But the only thing that came back this time was silence. The anger and helplessness that had been constantly raging inside him quickly heated him up. Fuck. John, swallowing a curse, tried to calm himself.

Valentine had not changed a bit. He was ignoring what John wanted with his creepy smugness. John took a long breath and rubbed his eyes against the sheet. Tears that he couldn’t hide eventually burst out. The flowing tears soaked his eyelashes and the soft cloth. He couldn’t even afford to feel shame. His voice came back, after being swept away by the vortex of emotion and he managed to say:

“Did you… did you miss the taste of my hole so much that you chased me for years like… a dog?”

Suddenly, the atmosphere became cold, as if the temperature in the room had cooled down. But it was despair rather than fear that weighed down on John. The Valentine in front of John was like a nightmare, but his throbbing heart was too vivid. Worst of all, the body scent John used to smell in the past was a clear reminder of what had happened.

Realizing that he was still the helpless John from the past, John let out a giggling breath.

Damn it. How did I hold out for such a long time like this again?

Disappointment, anger, fear, and self-deprecation rose together, but they lost their place, wandering in front of Valentine’s inaction. Even if he knew it was useless, John kept begging Valentine.

“Let… Let me go.”

“…”

“Please, I’m begging you… Please, just let me go.”

Unlike the loving touch, the air surrounding them began to sway strangely. Valentine, who had been silent all along, caged John with his upper body. A dark shadow was cast over John’s pale and wet face. Valentine looked like a beast at first glance when a phosphorescence sparkled in the black darkness.

“John, I…”

A large and delicate hand wrapped around John’s chin. Valentine’s fingers, which were tapping against John’s lips, headed to his neck. John couldn’t guess Valentine’s expression from the faint light floating like smoke in the dark. However, he could sense the anger because of the pheromones that bloomed.

“I thought you would come back when you stopped being angry.”

“…”

“It didn’t make sense that you would be dead, so I have been waiting for you…”

John almost forgot to even breathe. Valentine’s upper body got a little closer. The soft lips brushed against the soft flesh of John’s ear, and Valentine’s laughing voice rang in John’s ears.

“But you didn’t come back.”

The low laughing voice made John break out in goosebumps.

“So I used to think that if I were to meet you, I would twist your neck.”

“Uh…”

John let out a painful breath under the pressure of his neck being pressed. His brows were like crumpled paper. John was out of breath under physiological pressure. Valentine grinned as he saw John encroaching on pain.

“… But how could I do that?”

The pressure on his neck disappeared at once. Valentine leaned his head on John’s neck and took a deep breath. The warm breath tickled over his skin, leaving only moisture.

“John…”

Whenever Valentine called his name, John felt his whole body possessed by evil powers. He laughed like a madman. If all this is a dream… If I see my disgusting apartment ceiling when I wake up again, I will once again believe in the presence of God.

“…Uck!”

It was time for John to escape from reality with delusions. Suddenly, a hard and smooth thing was pushed through the gap of his lips. John, who had been dozing off until then, intuitively realized that it was a pill. Immediately John violently rebelled, pushing it out with his tongue.

“Shit, I don’t want to!”

“Open your mouth.”

“I said I… don’t… wanna, uck…!”

“It’s just a tranquilizer.”

When John pushed out the pill that was forcibly pushed into his mouth and continued to refuse, Valentine lightly clicked his tongue and firmly pinched John’s chin.

“… Ah!”

As the mouth was unwillingly opened because of the coercive force, the pill popped in because of Valentine suddenly shoving his tongue inside of John’s mouth. John’s body couldn’t stop shaking, feeling as if he had been pierced by an iron skewer, and soon shook his head.

“…Ugh!”

As soon as Valentine warmed up in the hand holding his chin, John closed his mouth as hard as he could. John’s mouth was filled with a strong smell of blood, along with a dull thud, the sound of a tongue being bit down on. At the same time, hot blood gushed down his throat.

“Ha…”

With a painful low groan, Valentine pushed the tattered tongue deeper into John’s mouth. The saliva mixed with blood went inside the esophagus along with the pill. John let out a fierce cough as the blood entered his airways. Valentine removed his mouth after confirming that John had completely swallowed the pill.

“Cough, cough…!”

“Get some rest.”

Valentine vaguely mumbled, his pronunciation garbled as blood dripped down his chin.

“It’s going to work right away, so you’ll go to sleep even if you don’t want to.”

“You… You bastard. Cough…”

John glared at Valentine with bright and furious eyes, but soon became unconscious. John tried to open his eyes, but it was impossible to beat the drowsiness.

John, who was slowly blinking, finally lowered his eyelids as if surrendering. Then, Valentine gave John a sweet kiss on his forehead.

“Sweet dreams, John.”

The voice that resonated in his ears was sweet, as if whispering tender words, but all of it was a realistic nightmare for John. With the long fingers covering his cheeks for the last time, John completely lost consciousness.

* * *

John didn’t know how long he had been unconscious for. However, when John opened his eyes, the room was bright, and Valentine had already disappeared. John raised his upper body and belatedly realized that his clothes had been changed. The cloth that bound his wrists was also gone. John slowly looked around, rubbing the scarred wrists.

The bedroom with a high ceiling was luxurious and spacious. A dazzling sunlight poured through a large window. A peaceful calm swam through the air. Where am I? John slowly blinked and shook his head. Due to the remaining power of the pill, his head was dull and couldn’t think properly

For a while, John was waiting to come to his senses, leaning blankly on the head of the bed. Suddenly, the door opened without notice.

“You’re up.”

John suddenly raised his head. It was a tall blonde man who came into the room. The man in the suit looked like a typical cold-hearted German. Several maids pushed in a cart from behind him. The man approached John and spoke in a polite tone.

“You were asleep for half a day. I thought you might be hungry, so I prepared a meal.”

“… Who are you, and where are we?”

The man read John’s wary eyes and lowered his eyes slightly. Like the color of his hair, his eyelashes were bright and they fluttered in the sunlight.

“I’m Valentine’s secretary, and this is his private property.”

“…”

“We’ve prepared a light meal that won’t strain your stomach, so you had better eat first. I’ll put your clothes here to let you change.”

Without giving John any time to process or respond to this absurdity, the man nodded slightly before leaving the room. He walked away in large strides, but wasn’t in a hurry. John, who came to his senses too late, ran and tried to open the door, but the door made of solid wood had already been firmly locked.

“Ha, fuck…”

John let out swear words in a dejected voice and let his mind wander. When he thought about it to some extent, the first thing he felt was absurdity. He was living a peaceful life not too long ago, but now with this whole kidnapping thing, John felt like he was the main character in a poor B-class movie.

John glanced at the table. The steaming foods were tastefully prepared, but he could feel no appetite or hunger at all. He thought he could get to something. John, whose lips were pressed together, wandered around the room to see if there was any way to escape.

However, there was nothing in the room, except for furniture that was too heavy to push or move, and of course, there was no secret passage. Right, this wasn’t a magic school. John approached the window that reflected his image. The beautifully landscaped garden appeared over the window.

Freedom is just one step away…

The huge mansion was filled with warm and beautiful things, but for John, this place was like a huge prison. John closed his eyes and leaned against the window. His fist turned white. His stomach churned with the thought that Valentine might appear again.

No. Maybe… There’s a way out.

John opened his eyes again, sticking his face to the window as much as possible and looked underneath. The room was located on the second floor, and it didn’t seem to be that high. If he jumped from the window, the fall wouldn’t even hurt his ankle.

John dragged a heavy wooden chair and stood in front of the window. Taking a deep steady breath, as if gathering his strength together, he swung the chair he held with all his might.

Bang-!

“Ugh…!”

A dull thump was heard. Instead of the window shattering, the force recoiled back to John. His wrist was throbbing. John fell to his knees while spitting out curses. It was so painful that he felt like he might have broken his wrist.

“Haah… Fuck.”

John let out a ridiculous laugh. The window remained intact without a single scratch. He didn’t think it was, but was it really bulletproof glass? Only then, it struck him how tight the security of the Lindbergh mansion was. Even if he was lucky to escape the room, it was clear that armed guards were wandering around the mansion like police dogs. John put his body over the thick carpet. He was unable to escape from Valentine’s solid prison.

After that, John intermittently continued trying to find ways to escape, but it was pointless. Only after experiencing several setbacks did John finally admit he could not get out of here. The gloom came like a tsunami and took away all his will to live.

John gave up all hopes of escaping, quietly emptied the plate when the meal came, and slept nonstop for the rest of the time. Seeing that he felt sleepy whenever he ate, he became suspicious about the food, but he couldn’t starve, so he decided to endure it.

A few days passed like that. In the 21st century, when liberal democracy became an absolute right, confinement was not acceptable, even as a joke. But John was calmer than expected. Looking back on himself, he expressed his self-help admiration for Human’s great adaptability.

“What the hell are you going to do…”

While sleeping, John fell into thought, lying in a pleasant bed with replaced bedding. The straight brow was furrowed. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but Valentine was still absent. At first, John paid so much attention to when Valentine would appear that it got on his nerves, but as the tension continued, John didn’t care anymore.

What made John suffer more than the tension or fear was the extreme suffocation and boredom. He would rather face Valentine than stay locked up like this and go crazy. However, contrary to John’s wish, Valentine didn’t appear.

How much time has passed now?

As usual, a man always came to look after him at the same time and helped him to kill time. John would have ignored him, but this time it was different.

“Excuse me.”

John felt awkward with his voice because he hadn’t talked for a few days. John, who had a dried throat, opened his mouth again.

“Valentine, where’s that bastard?”

Perhaps he had been trained to restrain his facial expressions, the man calmly responded with a perfect poker face.

“He’s coming back to the country today.”

His answer struck John.

“Are you saying that… that son of a bitch is not even in America?”

There was no return answer, but silence was positive enough. That’s why it has been quiet for a few days. In the meantime, John took the medicine that put him to sleep for fear of causing a disturbance. John cynically twisted his lips. His heart was thumping with anger. But soon he changed his mind. John didn’t care what Valentine did, but if he was not in the U.S. now, this was the only opportunity to run away. The man replied as if he had read John’s inner thoughts.

“He’s coming back this evening.”

“… I see.”

As if worried that the conversation would be prolonged, the man turned his back on John as soon as he stopped talking. 

“What’s your name?”

Perhaps John’s question was unexpected, as the man’s eyes were slightly wider as he turned around. John added with a smile, as if he was hesitating.

“You’re Valentine’s secretary. I’m sure we’ll have to keep seeing each other. I think we’d better know each other’s names.”

“… Lucas.”

A hesitant voice flowed down the man’s lips. Lucas, a name that resembles light, but he seemed the opposite of his namesake. John didn’t hide the sneer coming out of his lips.

“Aha, Lucas, can you send me home for now?”

As John expected, Lucas shut his mouth like a clam. John sighed and tilted his head.

“I don’t know if you have the authority, but I have a reason to go home.”

Lucas remained silent again this time. At this rate, the man would soon open the door and leave. John swallowed his impatience and touched his cheek with tiredness.

Damn it, I didn’t want to say it myself…

However, if the man was looking after John instead of Valentine, he would already know it, so it didn’t matter. John suppressed the feeling of being naked and continued his speech.

“You know what my body is like, right?”

Lucas’ eyes twitched slightly at the blunt question. John smiled faintly. He thought the man couldn’t not know, but John felt dirty knowing that someone who didn’t know about his disgrace knew about it.

“What I am.”

“…”

“An Unique Omega.”

Unique Omega was a generic term for an Omega who had a unique trait amongst Omegas. It was no different from any other fertile Omegas in that the heat cycle was irregular, but once the heat cycle hit, these Unique Omegas had a 99.9% of getting pregnant.

A monster, a man that isn’t a man.

John, as he could no longer defend his identity as a Beta, defined himself as such. Suddenly, he stammered over his words, placing the tip of his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“So, I need an inhibitor. I could be in a heat cycle right now, and if something goes wrong while Valentine’s away, won’t you be in trouble?”

“If that’s the case…”

“My body is a ticking time bomb that doesn’t know when and where it’s going to explode if I don’t take it every day. I think it’s been a while.”

“If it’s medicine, it’s already in the meal…”

The man rarely responded with an embarrassed face, but John cut his words out.

“I need to take the medicine I have been prescribed.”

“…”

“You or anyone else can come with me. Just let me go home.”

Lucas, who hesitated for a while due to John’s strong demand, asked for patience and avoided him. Looking at the cell phone in Lucas’s hand after a while, John could guess that he had spoken to Valentine. Lucas opened his mouth with a stiff face.

“I’ll stop by your house as you said. I’m going to come in with you and bring you back here. Will that be okay?”

“Aha… whatever you want.”

John tickled the inside of his cheek with his teeth. Whether Lucas came with him or not, it was none of John’s business. He could get out of this stuffy prison. Just thinking about it made him feel a little refreshed. John stretched. His body, which had been extremely restricted in movement for several days, felt extremely drowsy.

* * *

John realized how big the mansion where he was being imprisoned in and was so surprised that his eyes almost popped out. It was not comparable to the Richmond Family mansion, but Valentine’s mansion was also huge, reminding John of a small castle.

Passing through an artificial lake, swimming pool, several separate buildings, and a well-maintained garden, John started thinking. It’s not New York, is it New Jersey? New Hampshire. Damn it, where on earth am I… No matter how hard he thought about it, it was hard to think of an area with a private property of this size.

He thought ‘I could get a hint on the ride home’, but it was a mistake. Lucas led John to a private plane, not to a car. During the first hour of flight, John had no choice, but to blankly stare at the TV.

“We’ve arrived.”

After a long time, even after getting off the private plane, John could now see a familiar view. Accepting Lucas’ favor of opening the car door from the outside, John stepped on the ground. He didn’t know how long it had been, but he had finally come back to his apartment in Queens.

Although they changed to a regular sedan, as if John was conscious of his surroundings once they entered Queens, it was easy to guess that there were some cars following them. It was clear that he would still be watched from all over the place.

“How old are you, Lucas?”

“…”

“When did you start working with Valentine?”

While the old elevator went up, John continued to ask Lucas questions, but the cold man just remained silent.

Uninteresting bastard. Clicking his tongue, John lifted the umbrella leaning against the front door. The key sparkled against the dusty floor. Fortunately, Elaine didn’t hide her keys elsewhere. John picked up the key, feeling gratitude for his roommate’s insensitivity; the broken lock had long been left unattended. The two, who agreed to the idea that they would not have much to lose even if thieves broke in any way, used classic iron locks from then on instead of spending money to repair it.

Suddenly, the door opened without resistance, and the old familiar wooden smell welcomed John. As he expected, the house was empty. Elaine was probably dealing with customers at the T-Mobile Call Center.

Every time John moved, the dusty floor creaked. Standing in the narrow living room, John glanced back at Lucas. Then, John squinted his eyes as if to gauge Lucas’s true intentions.

“Are you going to lock me in the room again?”

“…”

“Ha, I feel like I’m talking to a wall, but I don’t think you’ll be okay if you lock me up.”

“Don’t worry, I’ve made sure that doesn’t matter.”

It was hard to understand that it would not be a problem when a person, who was fine, disappeared. John was once a member of the Lindbergh Family, too, but was too young to feel what level of power they had. Rather, only now, when he was cut off from them, John was a little appalled by the feeling of seeing some of the power.

“Then, I’ll go get changed. I’ll pack up.”

“Why don’t you just take the medicine, and if you need anything else, I’ll get it ready for you.”

“No, I want to take this off right away, if I think even the clothes I’m wearing now are from that house.”

“…”

“It won’t take long.”

John went into the room before Lucas disturbed him further, leaned against the door and let out a long sigh. When John tilted his head, he noticed the speckled water marks on the ceiling. The room, which he was not particularly attached to, now gave off a unique impression.

But there was no time to be immersed in the atmosphere. John approached the bed and bent over without delay. He pushed his arm deep under the iron bed. Every time he groped around, a thick layer of dust rose. He didn’t stop until a cold metal material reached his fingertips.

John, who barely had his finger on the handle, pulled his arm back. A white dusty steel safe was exposed under the sun. After entering the password, the box opened with a clear sound. What appeared in it was a passport, ID card, a small key and a large pile of cash.

“Nice to meet you, my entire fortune.”

John, after muttering a little, took an old cloth bag out of the closet and put it down next to the safe.

Ever since he came to live another’s life, John had tried not to leave a trace of himself, consciously or unconsciously. The sensitivity of accumulating a pile of cash was pathetic because he was even hesitant to deposit it in the bank. At this moment, he wondered if there was some insight that he was not aware of.

John shoved a bundle of cash and identification cards into a bag. Then, he poured out the inhibitors, which had been piled up in the drawer, as soon as possible. John, carrying the bag as it was, paused and swallowed a  pill without water. John had to cough as the pill was stuck in his dry throat.

In any case, it was not a lie to say that he needed his medicine.

Since he knew he was an Omega, John had been living in an uncontrollable heat cycle. The inhibitors, which he took at the same time every day, was like a reverent ritual that made John look like a Beta. Again, being the prey of disgusting Alphas was something he didn’t want to experience again, so John did it with the fundamental desire to protect himself from the outside.

He always kept his luggage simple so that he could leave at any time, so he had nothing to pack, but money and his ID. John had to hurry before Lucas started getting suspicious. John opened the window. As the joints of the windows spread out in a straight line, the messy noise of the city flooded into the room, as if it had been waiting.

The new buildings didn’t allow the windows to fully open due to safety hazards, but it didn’t apply to John’s old apartment. The fifteen-story building boasted a dizzying view. He could see people passing through the alley far down below him.

“Ha, fuck. How did I end up…”

John, who took a deep breath, put his feet on the ladder. The rusty iron squeaked, as creepy noises and dust flew into the air. The tightly hardened fingers grasped the thickly dusty window frame. John raised his head with his teeth clenched.

If only I could go to the rooftop…

When John put both feet on the ladder, the iron ladder, which had been left unattended for a long time, shook without enduring the weight of an adult. The feeling of his reeling body dancing made John dizzy.

The outer emergency stairs were attached right next to John’s room. In fact, it was only a few steps away, but the only places John could step on were decorative stones and old drains that slightly protruded over the outer wall. If he let his guard down a little, he would die.

If he was going to die like this, he should just punch Valentine’s face. John took a deep breath, reflecting on his untimely disappointment. Then, he grabbed the brick with his hands and moved carefully. Pieces of stone scattered in the air, rustling with every step. The fear that he would fall and smash open his head at any moment was real. Whenever the wind blew, the center of gravity weakened, and his heart bumped so hard as if it would burst at any moment.

“Fuck, haah…”

He always thought it wouldn’t matter if he died at any time, but now John felt the intense desire to live.

“Haa… ha…”

When John eventually succeeded in climbing to the emergency stairs leading to the roof, his body was soaked in cold sweat. It had been less than a few minutes, but it felt longer than eternity. John roughly rubbed his damp forehead with his hands, and forced his weak legs to move.

Finally, the rooftop appeared. Old water tanks, cotton sofas, crowded cigarette butts and dusty beer bottles rolling on the floor. The scenery, which was usually disgusting, now looked more beautiful than the ceiling painting of the Sistine Chapel. John, who crossed the roof, carefully pushed the iron door.

Fortunately, Lucas didn’t seem to notice John’s absence yet. John shushed a stray cat and went down a few floors to take the elevator. He got off the second floor, not the first one, and ran to the other side of the hallway.

John opened the dusty window and looked down. On the fifteenth floor, he used all kinds of acrobatic moves, with his life as collateral, so the height of the second floor felt like nothing now. He jumped out of the window without hesitation. Pum! A dull sound was heard after hitting the ground and John’s ankle started to hurt like hell.

“Ugh, damn it.”

He felt a terrible amount of pain, but he didn’t have time to worry about it. John went into the alley.

“Thank you, God.”

God really existed and had left him a miracle: Elaine’s motorcycle was parked quietly at the end of the alley. John dug through his pocket and took out the key. He often had to borrow Elaine’s motorcycle, so he made a copy of the key and had never thought before of using it this way. John got on the motorcycle and mumbled to himself.

Elaine, I’m sorry. But I left enough money to buy a new motorcycle, so please let’s call it even.

Acrid smoke spouted from the motorbike.

“John…!”

A loud voice was heard throughout the alley. Lucas was leaning out the window, looking down at John. Lucas’s face, which had always had a neutral expression, was distorted with embarrassment.

“Kiss my ass.”

When John saw Lucas’s face, he could feel a sense of joy. With a smirk, John raised the middle finger at him. Then, John pulled on the accelerator without hesitation. Vroom-! The wheels started turning around with a cheerful scream. John sprinted out of the alley.

Soon, the alley became empty.

* * *

John didn’t know where to go when he got on the motorcycle. He just wanted to hide somewhere and think about where to go then. However, when he entered Queen’s central district, a place popped into John’s head.

J.F.K International Airport.

John had already told Grant his desire to leave. Grant was reluctant at first, but soon respected John’s wishes and agreed to work only until the end of the month in consideration of the period of finding new employees.

‘It’s a little early, but…’

He was planning to leave for Chicago in the middle of next month, but if John went now, Thompson would prefer it. John, after thinking about it, no longer hesitated to turn the steering wheel of the motorcycle. The motorcycle raced along the expressway leading to JFK.

The sun was burning in the middle of the blue sky filled with clouds. The clear and hot light pouring like a waterfall heated the road. The heavy wind continued to stroke John’s hair, cheeks, lips and chin exposed outside the helmet. The wind rushing against his body made John feel more excited.

Not knowing how much time had passed, John noticed the highway signs. John’s heart rate went up as he looked at the letters that ‘J.F.K airport’ printed on a turquoise panel. John rolled up his lips, speeding up a little more along the gentle curve of the expressway.

Despite it being in the daytime and a weekday, the airport was crowded. John, after parking his motorcycle randomly on the way to the terminal, went straight to Terminal 2.

“The flight bound for Chicago…”

John confirmed the fastest direct flight to Chicago through the electronic display and frowned. It would leave at 3:30. He hoped there was an extra seat left. John ran to the Delta Airlines check-in counter, praying for a God he had not been looking for many times.

Fortunately the line for the procedure wasn’t that long. John, who was nervously chewing his lips and waiting his turn, leaned against the counter and asked the counter staff.

“Do you have any seats left for the 3:30 flight to Chicago?”

“Which seat do you want?”

“I’d like an economy class if possible, but I don’t care about the seat.”

“Wait a minute.”

Luckily, there were still tickets left for Chicago. A look of relief and joy passed through John’s face.

“Here you go.”

The staff looked weirdly at John, who took out a bunch of cash instead of a card, but he proceeded with the ticketing without saying anything. Holding the ticket, John carried his bag and headed to the airport security. It was not until he entered the duty-free area that a sigh of relief broke out. 

“Hah, damn it.”

All pressure left John’s body,  making him lean against the wall. The chills permeating from the cold marble tiles cooled his heated body. John blinked and stared at the high ceiling.

There were already less than 30 minutes left until the boarding time of the plane. No matter who Valentine was, he wouldn’t be able to find John in such a short period of time. When Valentine realized that John had left for Chicago, it would be too late and, even when he found out, there was nothing he could do.

“…”

No, don’t lie to yourself, John. You don’t actually think so. Will Valentine give up so easily?

John shook his head, turning away from the feeling of doubt nagging him. Thinking about it would do him no good. It was better for John to leave for Chicago first and then think about what to do next. A belated sense of hunger hit him as John recovered his mind to some extent. Come to think of it, he didn’t even have a proper meal all day. John took a wriggling step to his target.

“Five dollars and seventy cents.”

John, after buying a bottle of water and a bag of potato chips, walked to the boarding gate. The chairs in front of the gate were crowded with passengers, perhaps because the plane would be boarding soon. John sat next to  a Hispanic family.

John stretched out on the chair, as held the crunching bag of chips in his hands. His whole body felt damp from sweat. The fact that he had been detained by Valentine’s secretary just a few hours ago already felt like the distant past. John looked around and recalled his encounter with Valentine.

Valentine generally looked the same as he had appeared on TV, but in reality he looked much more daunting and dangerous. Although his features had matured and his body had grown in size compared to when he was 17 years old, his appearance hadn’t changed much from the past.

‘But why did I… feel like he was a complete stranger?’

Slowly, such thoughts rose one by one, and John let out a low sigh. There was only one thing that was vastly different from his memories. It was the two eyes staring at John.

The clear blue-eyed eyes were still as beautiful as sapphire, but the emotions reflected in them were not. Once dazzling with confidence about the future, the eyes darkened and turned angry. In a way, the eyes looked dead inside, almost as if they belonged to a corpse.

So I used to think that if I were to meet you, I would twist your neck.

Suddenly, Valentine’s voice crossed John’s mind. At the same time, the bitterness of the blood that had spread inside of John’s mouth also came to mind. John crossed his arms in front of his chest to hide his shaking shoulders. His legs also unconsciously trembled.

[The DL0421 flight bound for Chicago will begin boarding at 3:30, will all passengers…]

John, who was waiting anxiously for time to pass, stood up, nearly jumping out of his seat as soon as he heard the announcement. Standing at the end of the line, he had checked in his bag in advance and tightly grabbed the ticket.

After all, Valentine couldn’t find him yet.

Feeling a mixture of relief, joy, and anxiety, John walked behind the crowd. It was John’s turn next, and an airline employee was just about to scan his ticket against the machine.

“There!”

“Get him!”

“…!”

The sudden commotion caught John’s attention. John reflexively turned his head and his eyes grew wide. A group of bulky men in black suits were running towards him. Without a doubt, their target was John.

Fuck…!

“I can go in now, right?”

“Ah? Ahh, yeah.”

The airline employee had his eyes wide open and belatedly nodded. Having hastily snatched the ticket from his hand, John entered the gate. The loud footsteps reached him.

“…Ugh!”

It was then, a sharp amount of pain shot through his shoulder, feeling as if it was dislocated. John’s body flew up into the air. The passengers screamed, running away in the midst of the commotion, and the orderly line became chaotic.

“Let me go! Let… let me go…!”

The men forced John to kneel. He struggled, trying to escape, but his efforts were futile. John was eventually pressed to the floor with his arms bent behind his back, and his face was pressed to the floor.

“Let go of me, fuckers…!”

John twisted and grinded his teeth. There was no time to even feel humiliated, only frustration and anger. He could only huff and intermittently rebel. Something was caught in his view.

A tall man wearing a suit walked towards John. The atmosphere got heavier as Valentine got closer. Everything quieted down, and a more discreet whispering replaced it. The consistent steps hit the cleanly polished stone floor. The afternoon sun shone over the white blonde and wide open shoulders.

John glared at Valentine, which made Valentine tilt his head. John couldn’t read anything from Valentine’s expressionless face, but his eyes were icy cold as they looked around.

“Who told you to tie him up?”

The man holding John down became nervous due to the cold reprimand. Only then was John able to face Valentine completely, as his upper body was lifted from the floor. John’s green eyes stared at Valentine, filled with a burning anger. Valentine, noticing that, knelt on one knee with a smile. Their eyes were at a similar height, and a large hand wrapped around John’s pale cheek.

Valentine spoke in a tender voice, gently squinting his eyes.

“John.”

“…”

“You should have told me.”

While thrashing around, a neat and long finger touched John’s crooked shirt. Valentine whispered as he unbuttoned John’s crumpled clothes.

“I could have taken you wherever you wanted.”

The unexpected calmness confused John. As in the past, John thought Valentine would burst into uncontrollable anger over his escape, but Valentine was acting nonchalant, as if nothing had happened.

Valentine slowly looked around while John was stiff in a daze. He looked through the bags, water bottle, and snacks that John had randomly thrown out. The fine-looking lips bent slowly.

“I’m hungry.”

“…”

“Let’s go eat.”

A big white hand reached out. The hand held John’s hand with conviction, regardless of people’s gaze. The fingers were tightly woven, and the palms were tightly attached. John just watched as everything happened, as if he had become a spectator. As they moved, the crowd parted, allowing them to pass through. An unknown number of whispers came about.

“Is… Is that Valentine Lindbergh?”

“I think you’re right. Who’s the guy next to him?”

“What’s going on?”

The whispers, which had spread like a wildfire, went out of control at some point. Those who realized that Valentine Lindbergh was the main character of the disturbance rushed over, holding out their cameras and cell phones.

“Ugh…”

Click, click. Flashes went off here and there. The blinding flashes from the camera were like a hunter chasing John. The fact that it was being taken by an unknown amount quickly made John turn pale. He stopped thinking as his feet were shaking.

“Don’t worry.”

Knowing John’s agitation, Valentine whispered in his ear. It was a low, but powerful voice. A hard arm wrapped around his convulsing shoulder, as if protecting John.

“Lucas will take care of it.”

Unlike the friendly words directed at John, the gaze Valentine gave at Lucas was as cold as ice.

“You’ve already made a mistake once, so don’t let me down this time.”

Lucas’ face became stiff due to the warning, but didn’t show any emotion. John could not stand the gazes shot like an arrow and leaned on Valentine’s chest. Then, as if waiting, a large hand completely wrapped around John’s cheek and blocked his view.

As Valentine nodded, a series of men rushed through at once, as if they had been waiting. Leaving behind the commotion caused by the scuffle, Valentine walked out with John, who stumbled as he couldn’t see anything.

The escape turned out to be a failure.

* * *

The white separate room built in the shape of a dome was like an art piece in itself.

The six marble pillars supporting the luxurious space were carved with delicate vine full of roses, and beyond a large sunny window, a beautifully decorated garden could be seen. In the middle of the separated room, the two were sitting face to face with each other. Elaborate dishes were placed on the table.

Valentine spoke in a relaxed, but tired voice.

“They said you didn’t eat anything today. You must be hungry. Let’s eat first.”

Valentine’s disguised calmness felt artificial. John stared at Valentine, as if searching for something, still having his arms crossed in front of his chest. By the time John thought about escaping again, he had already been dragged to Valentine’s private residence. Perhaps because of what happened, John had no fear of encountering Valentine, rather he was disturbingly excited.

Even though it was clear that he was vividly aware of John’s rejection, Valentine started eating regardless. He ate the food and drank wine with graceful movements. The anger poured out from the unresponsive John was meaningless to Valentine. John swallowed a sigh and looked down at the complex tableware lined up in front of him.

John had been learning table manners since he was in William School, but this had long become unfamiliar to him. For years, all he has had are hamburgers, sandwiches, and bread with jam. In addition, although he hadn’t eaten at all, he didn’t feel hungry, as if his stomach were paralyzed.

Valentine asked, when he saw John didn’t even touch the food.

“Don’t you like it?”

Valentine called the server by hand. Valentine, after giving the man instructions, smiled and said.

“I ordered seafood papillote. You will like it.”

Seeing Valentine talking about his taste from a few years ago as if nothing had changed, John’s gaze became even more cynical. How many times have I been swayed like this in the past? Unlike then, when he was dragged around, John had no intention of keeping up with his rhythm.

“Don’t you like that either? You have a head for something, think about it.”

John, having a twisted smile in his mouth, pushed the leg of the table with his feet. Clank-! The table rushed toward Valentine with a screech. The centerpiece, which splendidly decorated the table, collapsed, as the glasses and plates shook. Red wine poured out of the wine bottle that stumbled and fell. In an instant, the liquid soaked the white tablecloth and eventually dripped down Valentine’s thighs.

John smiled at Valentine, who stared at him with a heartless look.

“How can I eat with your face in front of me?”

Valentine slowly blinked his glassy eyes. As John was becoming nervous about the prolonged silence, Valentine’s neat hand grabbed a napkin. Wiping off his wet thighs, Valentine responded lightly.

“You have gotten rougher, John.”

“…Ha.”

“I like how you look, but we still have a meal to eat.”

An unidentified smile rose over Valentine’s face and then disappeared.

“You surely must be hungry after wasting all of your strength.”

John felt his intestines twisting when Valentine said that, as if he was being sarcastic. He felt like screaming against a solid wall. John couldn’t read Valentine’s thoughts, but he could guess that Valentine intentionally hid his feelings. John blankly looked at the server walking around the table.

What the hell… What’s going on here? The vain end to a game of tag that has been going on for years? An emotional reunion of those who were once brothers? Or an artificial encounter between the perpetrator and the victim? What kind of name should I give in this fucking situation?

While John was thinking about escaping reality, Valentine, who looked at him with a calm gaze, knocked on the table as if to remind John of his presence.

“John, don’t think about anything else in front of me.”

At first glance, it was a soft voice, but the coercion in it couldn’t be hidden. John laughed cynically after noticing that.

“Who are you?”

“…”

“What right do you have to tell me what to do?”

There was a cold fire in the blue eyes. John laughed. He was so confused by his nonchalant behavior for a moment, but Valentine was out of his mind. Look. Those eyes. His eyes were basically telling John that Valentine could get up and strangle him right away.

“What even am I to you?”

Valentine, who had been taking little time to rest as if thinking about an answer, tilted his head.

“I’ll find out little by little.”

“John Lindbergh.”

“…”

“Is dead.”

Valentine smiled and sent away the server pushing the tray with a hand. Silence heavily sank in the space left by only the two.

“That kind of joke isn’t funny.”

Valentine, who hid his true feelings under the tightly trained mask, looked flawless. John couldn’t stand the nervous tension. His voice had a mix of frustration and anger that unstably flowed out.

“How the hell did you… How did you find me?”

“I’ll ask you instead, John.”

“…”

“Did you really think I wouldn’t be able to find you?”

Unlike his smiling face, Valentine had no laughter in his voice. The blunt question was a clear insight into John’s fears. Valentine, who could not hide his inner feelings and saw his facade collapsing, pressed his lips.

“It was unexpected that I also found you through Joseph.”

John’s eyes slowly grew bigger. After remaining silent, John asked again in disbelief.

“You… Don’t tell me, did you spy on Joseph?”

Valentine leaned loosely against the chair and answered meekly.

“Not only that fucker, but anyone who had a connection with you.”

“Ha … you crazy bastard.”

When John could not hide his astonishment, Valentine calmly added. He had no intention of justifying his actions.

“But I was desperate, John. No matter how much I tried, I couldn’t continue my repetitive and meaningless work over the years.”

“…”

“This is how I found you, anyways. That proves that I have my ways.”

At the answer, which even felt determined, John felt a sense of horror that he couldn’t even see in the end. The morbid persistence and the ability to act out crazy plans scared him. Noticing that John’s face was turning pale, Valentine clicked his tongue and smiled, as if to soothe him.

“Let’s stop talking about boring stuff. Anyway, what is important is that I’ve found you. I’m sorry I made you uncomfortable these days.”

“Did you… perhaps give me some drug?”

John recalled his physical condition, in which he had been feeling drowsy for several days. Valentine nodded.

“You were angry, and I was worried that you would disappear somewhere while I was away. That couldn’t happen again.”

As his temple throbed, John lowered his eyelids. He felt the time swirling and lumping together. The longer he faced those blue eyes, the more likely the embers hidden in the ashes of his memory seemed to revive.

John wasn’t sure if he was able to face that yet.

John rose from his seat, suppressing his misery. Avoiding the persistent gaze, he managed to talk. His straight chin was white from the pressure.

“It’s been years since I hid away from that fucking house.”

“…”

“Now I’m a person who has nothing to do with you. So just… leave me alone.”

John turned around, without waiting for Valentine’s answer. He tried to walk out, but his wrist was grabbed when the other approached him. At that moment, John’s body reacted instinctively. John hit Valentine’s hand and stepped back. A trembling voice flowed out of his mouth.

“Don’t touch me… Don’t touch me. Never again.”

Valentine, staring at John, slowly pulled his arm back. However, Valentine’s eyes, which were cold like ice, stabbed into John, feeling heavier than a hundred words. Just by narrowing the physical distance from Valentine’s, John’s danger instinct made his heart race.

“Why? Are you afraid that I’m going to hurt you?”

John’s face was frozen by Valentine’s provocative words. However, John, who managed to stop the anger from pouring out at the tip of his tongue, slowly made a smiling face. The voice toward Valentine was calm, but the cold anger had solidified.

“No, because you’re dirty.”

“…”

“It feels dirty just touching you.”

John turned around, shaking off his clenched wrist. He didn’t know if Valentine would leave him alone, but the door was just around the corner anyway. With a sense of urgency, John’s steps naturally accelerated. It was just when his hand touched the doorknob.

“I’ve prayed to God every day since you disappeared.”

With a calm voice, John reflexively stopped walking. Holding the cold metal doorknob in his hand, he gasped for a short time.

“If I can’t find you alive, let me find your body.”

The hand holding the doorknob strengthened. The coolness of the hot palm made John cool down. John slowly turned his head with a stiff expression on his face. Valentine was staring at him with an expressionless face. Without avoiding the insensitive gaze, John replied quietly.

“God should have let you find my body.”

“…”

“Then, I might have been a little sweet to you.”

The hand holding the door knob turned. When the tightly closed door opened, bodyguards waiting outside blocked John at once. However, they soon moved away, perhaps Valentine sent a signal from behind.

Fearful, John thought he looked like a wild animal with all the facial hair he had. The awareness damaged John’s pride, but the first thing he needed to do was leave this place. If he had to have any more interactions with Valentine, he might burst into anger. John suddenly became afraid of what was lurking around.

Keeping that feeling hidden, John pretended to be fine. However, until he got out of Valentine’s sight, the stinging sensation didn’t disappear.

* * *

Fortunately, there was no sign of someone following him. Unfortunately, however, John couldn’t find the exit of the complex mansion. When he managed to get out of the maze-like garden, a black sedan blocked him, as if it were waiting. It was Lucas who got out of the car.

“I’ll take you back.”

“I don’t need it.”

John refused, as if he didn’t need to hear more, but in fact he didn’t know what to do. The place where he was currently at didn’t seem to be as far away from New York as where he was first detained, but it was still unknown how far he would be from home. Lucas gave him something as if he had read John’s inner thoughts. It was the bag that John dropped at the airport.

“I got a message to make sure you are comfortable.”

“…”

“It’s quite a distance from here to New York, so please get in the car.”

In response to the polite suggestion Lucas had made again, John, who hesitated, finally sighed and got in the sedan.

A suffocating silence followed inside the sedan. John threw a meaningless look at the scenery passing by him, his arms leaning on the window frame. The green eyes looked bored at first glance, but if one looked closely, complex emotions were mixed.

I’m involved with Valentine again…

What will happen to us from now on?

…Does Ryan know any of this by any chance?

When that face, which he had been trying hard to forget, popped up, John buried his face his hands. He closed his eyes, trying to push the distractions out of his head. Long eyelashes drew a comb-like shadow over the pale cheeks. For some time, the unstable breath gradually calmed down.

Efforts to escape from all the people after him actually worked to some extent, and John was in a state of hypnosis by the time the car stopped. However, firmly standing on the ground, John felt that the little peace that barely stuck disappeared without a trace.

“I think we came to the wrong house.”

John looked back at Lucas, without hiding the hesitant look on his face. Lucas responded calmly, as if he had expected such a reaction.

“This is the right one. You’re forced to move to another house because of the security issue where you were originally located.”

John was puzzled since they entered Manhattan, not Queens. However, John was already mentally exhausted and didn’t think deeply about it. It was not until the sedan stopped in front of the luxury mansion on the Upper East Side that he realized things had gone wrong.

Looking at the luxurious-looking mansion, John unconsciously shed a big smile. Valentine, you crazy bastard… You let me go without a hitch, but did you make this up? 

He asked Lucas without thinking about it anymore.

“Please, let’s go back to Queens.”

“I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in advance, but that house has already been cleaned up.”

“Ha, ha… Damn it.”

John, who was annoyingly disheveling his hair, suddenly reached out to Lucas.

“I need to talk to that bastard, get him on the phone.”

“He told me to give you this.”

Instead of asking who the son of a bitch was, Lucas took out a new cell phone from his pocket, as if he had been waiting. John pressed down his desire to throw it to the ground and searched for Valentine’s contact information. As John expected, there was a number saved.

I can’t believe I’m going to call that bastard on my own accord so soon.

John pressed the call button with a cynical look on his face, and the call was connected after the first ring. John vented his irritation even before Valentine opened his mouth.

“What the fuck are you doing? What are you doing with me?”

Valentine responded with calmness, contrary to John’s anger.

– It’s just a tiny fraction of what you should have enjoyed in the first place.

“Don’t say bullshit. I have nothing to do with this damn house. Get my old house back right now.”

– Then, I’ll be honest.

“…”

– I can’t stand you living with another bitch anymore.

“You crazy bastard…”

The more John talked, the more upset he felt. John turned his back from Lucas, who stared at him, and pressed his finger down on his forehead.

“That’s because of my situation.”

– If you don’t do this, I’ll do it my way. Is that okay?

“… What?”

– Hide you where only I can see you, and reward my greed for the time you were gone…

When the frozen John couldn’t say anything, Valentine continued in a faint smiley voice.

– If I do something like that, you’ll definitely hate it.

“…”

– So John, please accept the sincerity I’m showing you.

Valentine simply defined his arbitrary behavior with the word ‘sincerity’. John knew well that the word was not just a threat.

It hurt his pride to admit it, but he was still afraid of Valentine. Fear imprinted on the unconscious mind was not easy to erase. The fingertips holding the cell phone became cold with tension. Discovering his weakness, John hung up in haste. The outcome of the conversation had been no other than boiling anger.

It was not until quite a long time later that John’s shoulders, which were stiff and pointing at the sky, gradually drooped. After breathing harshly several times, he slowly faced Lucas. The voice flowing through the frigid lips was as gloomy as a cloudy sky.

“… I’ll go in.”

There was no reason not to accept it, even if they gave it recklessly. Trying to rationalize his choice, John followed Lucas into the mansion.

The mansion, which was made of bulletproof glass on the front, was thoroughly secured and had two or three rooms on each floor. Lucas’ steps stopped at the top floor of the mansion, a penthouse that occupied the entire floor. Lucas opened the front door and turned to allow John to enter.

“Since you’ve just finished your fingerprint registration, from now on, you can enter all the areas through fingerprint scanning. If you want to call a janitor or a bodyguard, you can use the living room bell. The meal will be prepared every 6 a.m. and 5 p.m. in consideration of your work pattern. The janitor will visit every other day, do you want to adjust the time?”

“…”

“Then, let me know anytime if you need anything.”

John slammed the door in Lucas’ face, and walked down the dusty hallway. The living room had good lighting. There was a large terrace with jacuzzi over the window, and warm sunlight poured over the ivory-colored marble floor, dazzling his eyes.

This space, which had a clear view of Manhattan, gave off the impression of a gallery that had just been completed rather than a house. However, John just looked around with an unmoved look and looked for something. As soon as his eyes were placed on a corner of the living room, his mouth upturned into a cynical sneer.

I knew it.

The cleverly hidden CCTV camera was shining. After searching all over the house, John succeeded in finding a different camera, its purpose unknown. He smashed the camera hanging from the ceiling of the living room. As John looked at the broken camera, his anger seemed to go down a little.

“…Haa”.

After the one task, John flopped over the soft fleece rug. He lost all his energy all at once.

He needed to clear his mind after so much had happened. He couldn’t afford to think now. John, who was staring at the lights of geometric shapes like art, slowly closed his eyes. The fatigue that he couldn’t do anything about it flooded in like a rising tide, and his mind blinked like a light bulb, so John fell into a heavy sleep.