CH 7

That’s true, they were always like that. They hated her, but they weren’t inherently evil people. The family’s vassals must have only been worried and tried to protect them.

“Well, I just didn’t feel like talking much.”

Beatrice’s words sounded like ice piercing the ground. She was, in fact, unimpressed by their bullying.

Putting shattered glass pieces under her bed sheets or needles under her shoes did not pose a threat to her.

Unlike her outer skin, her inner skin was identical to ordinary people, leading to cuts on their tongues, but it was not a body that was harmed by such things.

She did not, however, appreciate the idea that she was not bothered by the bullying. But if that was why her family’s interested in her, it would not be a terrible idea to use it to her advantage.

Of course, an effort was needed to maintain that interest. Proper deception needed effort as well.

“I figured if I created a commotion, you’d hate me even more, which is a problem to the family.”

I didn’t really care whether they hated me or not.

“But I want to stay here.”

While I spoke, I thought that human pity wasn’t a long-lasting emotion. There must be something more dramatic to draw attention aside from that.

“I’m used to being hated anyway, so I don’t want to bother the Duchess and my two elder brothers.”

Ah, yeah, that.

“I’m sure you’ve hated me since my father’s funeral.”

Beatrice attempted to recall the funeral, but nothing came to mind.

“I couldn’t do anything at that moment… It didn’t feel real… I just went back and cried a lot.”

I lied, I didn’t cry. But wouldn’t it be useful in any case? The image of a kind daughter who had been misunderstood till now…

Pretending I was feeling empty, I glanced at Agatha with my attention fixed on the teacup and saw her face distorted in a grimace — as if she was on the verge of crying. Oh, did it work?

Beatrice responded with an uneasy smile, like someone who didn’t know how to smile since they had never even done it before.

“I’m happy enough, so it doesn’t matter if you don’t care about me any longer.”

What should I do with the final blow?  Maybe do something a little more saddening…

“Just please allow me to stay here.”

Pathetic. 

That would be a nice way to wrap things up. It seemed like Agatha’s heart was broken, but she cried as if she were her naïve and pitiful youngest daughter who knew nothing.

I had never done any acting before, but wasn’t that fantastic? Life became a reality in which I must continue performing, even though life was originally pretty boring and annoying for me. It wouldn’t hurt to put on a pretty smile — I got so much free time that I didn’t want to waste it.

There was a long pause between the two of them. Beatrice had no desire to talk further, and Agatha was pondering about what to say.

A surge of remorse came washing over Agatha as she discovered that the main reason she had been hesitant to accept her daughter was a misunderstanding. It took her a long time to recover from the sudden emotion.

Yes, what would a child know at that time? I’d never witnessed such a person’s death before, so I couldn’t even tell you what it was.

Of course, Agatha and her family were wary of Beatrice when she was younger, but the past gets diluted and forgotten sometimes. She felt so ashamed she had forgotten the exact feeling of rejection and unusual isolation she had that time completely. 

“Here… You can stay here. Please, do.”

Fortunately, the Duchess appeared to have fallen for my terrible acting. She’s not a horrible person, as predicted. Not like me.

After reaching that conclusion, Beatrice voiced cautiously what came to mind when Agatha mentioned her debut.

“I’m happy that you’ll oversee my debut party, though I’m a bit concerned that I’ll be making my debut without knowing anybody. Is it my greed?”

But the fact that she didn’t have a friend wasn’t the major concern, however, Agatha imagined that she didn’t get along well with her family, of course she’s hesitant to enter that huge social circle without any friends. And so, she agreed by nodding her head.

“Yes, I haven’t thought about that… Do you have any family in mind?”

“No, I don’t hear much news from outside after all.”

It was evident which family would be suggested if Beatrice mentioned this, and she was hoping for it.

“Then how about Count Billander?”

Billander was a family that had been a vassal of the duke’s household for a long time and was now one of the places that’s mentioned as the wedding place of Calex, the current duke.

Count Billander had a son who was younger than Felix and a daughter who was the same age as me. The family’s reputation was not terrible, and I recalled that his children were pretty well-known in the social circle.

Fortunately, word has it that they were pure gold-like siblings as they did not resemble their father, the count. In fact, I had the impression that it was made by melting gold. But of course, we’ve never met in this life.

“If it’s Count Billander, I believe you may feel at ease since our family has a good relationship with them.”

“Yes, and his daughter has an excellent social standing, so I think it would be beneficial to you. I’ll put you in touch with her.”

“Thank you, Duchess.”

Agatha smiled at her words of gratitude for a while but then faltered as if she was ready to say something but quickly hesitated. The thought of Beatrice calling her by her title, “Duchess”, struck her.

However, she was embarrassed to call her mother since she had been ignored for so long, so she gave up and stood to ponder after gradually winning her heart. She stood up from the sofa as the Duchess was about to depart to see her farewell.

“If there is anything more that I can do for you, please let me know through your maid. Are you comfortable with the etiquette and the dancing?”

“Have you forgotten how long the tutor has been away from the family? Don’t be too worried. I had a nice relationship with the teachers.”

“Well, that’s good. Let’s eat dinner together when Calex returns today.”

“Yes, I will. See you, then.”

Beatrice returned to the sofa she had been sitting on after seeing Agatha depart and began to think. It was already early February, and the royal family’s debut banquet was scheduled for May.

It wasn’t enough time to get to know the Billander Family, but she wanted them for reasons other than their young daughter.

Beatrice already knew what she wanted, despite that she would have to wait another two years to meet her naturally. Rather than wasting two years, it would be better if it was done quickly.

I needed someone to be my hands and feet in order to quietly lurk and move, and no one was more suited than their young daughter I’m now talking about. The woman who showed up to me at any of my lives.

“Lily.”

I’m going to approach her first this time. Regardless of the fact that she was not the sort to become overly attached to herself. I would visit you after a long time because I’d had empty thoughts and feelings.

* * *

The Duchess addressed a letter to Floria, the Count’s daughter, immediately after parting ways with Beatrice. She mentioned that her youngest daughter was having a late debutante party and asked if she could be her companion and also wished that the two would maintain a deep friendship.

When Agatha, the Duchess, sent a letter herself, the response came in less than a day. The matter was, of course, accepted.

Floria Billander’s bright and beautiful handwriting will be the pride of her family more than anything else. She stated that she intends to visit her at the Duke’s home whenever a date is decided.

Agatha, of course, meant to bring Floria to the mansion for her daughter, who knew nothing of the outside world — but when she heard the news that she would be going to Floria instead, Beatrice shook her head.

The thing is, they thought that she might’ve want to go out and breathe some fresh air since she’s been in closed doors for so long. That’s why Agatha accepted it without hesitation.

Beatrice agreed to pay a visit to Billander barely a week after the letter was exchanged. What a week it had been.

I didn’t have many dresses, so I called a tailor to sew roughly six pieces and got a jeweler into the house to match twelve sets of jewelry. I guess I picked about eight pairs of shoes as well.

The Duchess ordered to fit just the dress she needed right away and prepare the rest little by little, Beatrice nodded in response. She said that she was first uninterested in her appearance, such as wearing dresses and jewelry, but she grew used to it throughout her long life.

I couldn’t help it since it was considered careless and disrespectful for a noble lady to disregard her appearance. I guess I was feeling a little laid back when I went to a relatively remote area.

Beatrice walked through the mansion’s front gate, which was elegantly decorated. The family knight reached out his hand to assist her as she stood in front of the Duke’s largest carriage, which was decked in brown and green.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                      

She took his hand in hers and went into the carriage, trailed by Laura, the temporary maid. Considering that she was the Duchess’ maid, she agreed to look after Beatrice just until she got a new personal maid.

When the carriage departed after the coach had calmed the frantic horses, Beatrice straightened her back and lowered her gaze. It was more of a warning sign that no one should speak to her in the sense that she was thinking quietly alone.

Laura, who has keen vision, knew what that meant not long after they were together inside while she sat across from her, carefully shutting her mouth.

Lily used to work as a maid for Count Billander. She would be sixteen before the end of the year, and she’d be sharpening her blade in full swing. She’s one of those people who was enraged by Count Billander.