Chapter 180

The medicine was chilly and soothing, and felt extremely comfortable when applied. Chu Qiao’s feet were small and adorable, and a small segment of her calves were also exposed. Yan Xun held her ankle with one hand, and applied medicine with the other. His voice was like a passing breeze, emphasizing the awkwardness between the duo.

“Yep, I know.” Chu Qiao nodded, and lightly bit her lip. Yet, she did not know what to say. She suddenly remembered those years in the palace, whenever winter came, her feet would suffer from frostbite and turn red and swollen, sometimes even oozing pus. At her worst, she could not even get out of bed. In those days, they did not have medicine, so Yan Xun would rub her wounds with alcohol. Seeing her squirm in pain, he even joked that he would make her drunk so that she would no longer feel pain. At that time, Yan Xun’s eyes were crystal clear. Even now in her dreams, she could still remember his eyes back then. His eyes were so pure that just thinking about them would cause her to forget how he had become now.

“Rest well.” After applying the medicine, Yan Xun stood up. Carrying the bowl with him, he said, “I will be going first.”

“Yan Xun…” Just as he turned around, he realized that the corner of his shirt had been grabbed by a small white hand. The hand was so thin, and hearing her voice, his heart softened. He turned around, and looking into Chu Qiao’s eyes, he calmly asked, “What’s wrong?”

“Are you still angry at me?”

Looking back at her, Yan Xun calmly retorted, “Am I supposed to be?”

Chu Qiao was a tad breathless from the lack of circulation in the tent. Biting her lips, she replied, “I don’t know.”

The entire atmosphere froze up as the two of them sank into silence. The smell of awkwardness once again lingered in the tent. Yan Xun, standing up straight, with his jet black hair and obsidian-like irises, merely gazed at her. Chu Qiao’s cheeks were pale, and finally, she slowly lifted up her head, and looking into Yan Xun’s eyes, she tugged at his sleeves, before whispering, “Just let me follow you, please?”

Yan Xun stood there quietly for very long, as he gazed at Chu Qiao’s face. A multitude of emotions flashed before his mind, causing him to unable to discern his own feelings. The rise of Yan Bei had happened too quickly, and now they were going against the current. Every step they took must be careful and calculated. Frowning, he thought about his future plans and strategies, before finally opening his mouth, “AhChu, do you know what is the greatest threat Yan Bei is facing right now?”

Chu Qiao lifted her head but did not answer. She knew this was a rhetorical question.

As expected, Yan Xun continued, “With the multiple factions within the military, everyone has their own leaders. With the infiltration of Da Tong forces, the military is unstable, as everyone has their own leaders that they follow. This will be the achilles heel of the Yan Bei army.” Yan Xun stretched out his hand, and lightly caressed Chu Qiao’s hair, before continuing, “All of these are matters that remain to be sorted out. It would no doubt be a bloody process, but this is a path that must be taken for a new government to be established. There is no right or wrong in this, and I am merely taking this path due to the circumstances that I had been faced with. I do not wish for you to get involved in this ruckus as well. Do you understand?”

Chu Qiao nodded. “I understand. Yan Xun, I do not want control over any forces. I merely want to be by your side.”

Hearing Chu Qiao, Yan Xun was mildly taken aback. He thought that Chu Qiao pursued his forces merely to take back her position as the leader of the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison. At that moment, he started to doubt his initial judgment of her intentions. Yet, with the warmth spreading throughout his heart, he nodded, and gently said, “That’s good.”

Yan Xun put down her hand and was about to leave. Putting on his blue robe, it seemed as though his figure had slimmed down. Seeing his silhouette, Chu Qiao suddenly felt her heart ache. She bit her lips and asked, “Yan Xun, do you trust me?”

Yan Xun’s footsteps stopped, but he did not turn around. Yet, his quiet voice echoed back, like the soft sounds of waves crashing into the sand.

“AhChu, I have never doubted you. I merely hope that before the storm hits, I can protect you from the fighting.”

With a sway of the veil, the figure vanished. Sitting on the bed, Chu Qiao was completely devoid of her previous drowsiness. With the sound of the hourglass in the background, everything was at peace. She was suddenly reminded of the promise that the two of them had made long ago. There would be no secrets, and they would forever be honest with each other. They must not let misunderstandings or any obstacles stand between the two of them! Yet, that was merely a fantasy. There were a lot of things that one must keep secret from others, and particularly, someone that one loves.

She should believe in him.

Chu Qiao silently bit her lip again. If she did not believe in him, who else could she believe in? She tried her best to convince herself before lying back down. Before she closed her eyes, the scene of those beheaded men on that square suddenly flashed before her eyes again.

After traveling for seven straight days, the army had finally reached the Xuekui River in the Yuyao province. Setting up the main camp by the mountain, the 200,000 soldiers settled down. From afar, one could only see an entire patch of metallic white.

Chu Qiao had given up her command of the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison for good reason. After the battle of Beishuo, Chu Qiao’s reputation in Beishuo was on par with Yan Xun, with many singing praises for her in the army. Plus, due to the fact that she had followed Yan Xun all these years, along with her outstanding achievements, she had become the de facto number two figure in Yan Bei. Yet, as the forces that had directly caused the defeat of Yan Shicheng, Southwest Emissary’s Garrison had evoked mixed feelings from the crowds. There were some who hated them for the past betrayal, and some who appreciated them for defending Yan Bei. Such conflicting emotions could be easily made use of by anyone trying to plot something.

The loyalty of Southwest Emissary’s Garrison to Chu Qiao was well known to all. As long as she maintained her command over these troops, Yan Xun would lose complete control over this army. These troops would literally become her private army. Such a thing would be intolerable to any ruler. As such, she must give up her authority and stand beside Yan Xun. As such, if anything were to happen, she would be in a position of neutrality, and it would be helpful for both her and the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison.

This idea was originally a very well thought out one. Yet, when she saw the new commander that was appointed to lead the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison, she was lost for words. Her frown deepened as her gaze became piercing with antagonism. The young commander who donned a uniform of blue quietly gave his salutations before emotionlessly greeting her, “It has been a while, Master Chu.”

“General Cheng.” Chu Qiao’s gaze froze, as she smirked. Quietly, she stated, “With the parting at Beishuo, General Xue Zhiyuan died a horrible death. As you left with General Xia An, I had thought that I would never see your face again. I had not expected that we would meet again. This was really such a joyous reunion.”

Cheng Yuan lightly smiled. “The world is a small place. I believe we are fated to meet again.”

Chu Qiao snorted and walked toward Yan Xun’s tent. Before leaving, she coldly instructed, “He Xiao, watch your men. Before I come back, no one is to do anything to the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison!”

“Yes!” He Xiao loudly acknowledged.

With the cold wind blowing on her face, she thought, General Xue, I can finally take revenge for you!

Yan Xun had the same dream again. With his forehead full of cold sweat, his eyes were hollow like a bottomless abyss. Lying on his desk, his entire inner shirt was soaked. Stretching out his lanky finger to reach for the teacup, one could see his neatly clipped nails, along with the thick layer of callouses that resulted from his years of practicing martial arts. Despite holding the cup with all his strength, his fingers trembled. After all these years, his memory was no longer vivid, and everything had turned into a blur. He had always thought that the years of tolerance in the Royal Capital had allowed him to forget. Yet, all it took was an occasional dream for all his efforts in forgetting the past to be wasted. Those emotions and memories that he had suppressed overwhelmed him again and again, wrapping him like a blanket of blades, digging into his flesh, scratching into his bones.

In the dream, blood flowed endlessly. His parents’ eyes were wide open as blood started to spill out from their eyes, looking like top quality red wine. After all these years, he thought that he had already gotten used to those raging emotions. Yet, at the very moment that he stepped into the lands of Yan Bei, those hidden emotions that had remained dormant for all those years erupted yet again. Those emotions hibernated like snake until disturbed. Even with its eyes closed, it instinctively knew where to bite. At this very moment, he finally understood that merely returning to Yan Bei was not his salvation but was merely a drug to subdue his emotions.

Staring out, his eyes were out of focus as his breathing steadily calmed down. Yet, an intense hatred rose from within his heart. A desire for bloodthirst started to grow within his heart. He had an insatiable desire to grab his blade, to swing it, and to feel the joy of slashing into flesh and bones.

At this moment, there was a ruckus in front of the door. The enraged sounds of a woman seemed particularly piercing. His thoughts came to a standstill. Without thinking, he would know who was his visitor. With a loud shout, he noticed the guards, and immediately, she was allowed to enter.

Chu Qiao still wore that snow-white robe. In this period, she seemed to have grown quite a bit taller. Standing there, it was apparent that she was no longer a child.

Yan Xun composed himself as he hid his emotions. Gently, he explained, “Those guards are new, so they do now know you yet.”

“Why is Cheng Yuan in the army?” Chu Qiao wasted no time and was completely unbothered by the fact that she had been stopped outside the tent.

Yan Xun, upon seeing how she seemed so serious, sat upright as well, and with a serious face, he replied, “He contributed greatly. He killed the escaping General Xia An, and returned with the Beishuo Garrison. That was deserving of a reward.”

Chu Qiao’s eyes sparkled, and she stared into Yan Xun, as though she wanted to find some kind of loophole in his expression. The man merely sat at the side, completely emotionless, completely carefree.

“I want to kill him,” Chu Qiao slowly said. Her voice was especially calm, yet a tinge of bloodthirst flashed in her eyes.

Yan Xun’s eyebrow raised very slightly, as he observed Chu Qiao very quietly without replying. The atmosphere turned heavy, and one could almost hear the sound of the wind blowing past the tents.

“I have informed you. I will take my leave now,” Chu Qiao quietly said, as she turned around to leave.

“Wait a moment.” Yan Xun squinted, and seemingly unhappy, he looked at her frowning. He slowly warned, “As of now, Cheng Yuan is the General for Southwest Emissary’s Garrison. If something happens to him, the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison will not escape from the crime of not protecting their commander properly.”

Turning around, Chu Qiao raised her eyebrow. “Are you threatening me?”

“I merely hope that you do not do something wrong.”

“He killed Xue Zhiyuan and the soldiers of the Southwest Emissary’s Garrison. He almost killed me. It not for him, the war of Yan Bei would not have suffered such heavy losses. This person is despicable and cruel, and was a coward who merely sucked up to those in power. You wish to protect such a person?”

Looking at the agitated Chu Qiao, Yan Xun’s expression did not change. He calmly stated, “There are too many people in Yan Bei who have no fear of death, or bow to authority. I do not think such qualities are very praiseworthy.”

Chu Qiao bellowed back, “So being ungrateful and being a coward is something that is praiseworthy?”

“One person must have their own desires and fears in order for them to be easy to control. AhChu, I hope that you can calm down and think about it carefully.”

Chu Qiao stared at Yan Xun. The scene of the warriors who had died under the Beishuo city walls, along with the death of Xue Zhiyuan, replayed in her mind. She suddenly felt her blood boiling, as her gaze turned sharp like a blade. Firmly, she asked, “What if I insist that I wish to kill him. What will you do to me?”