Chapter 1744
Influence +31!
Randidly pressed his eyes closed and tried to ignore how nervous he was. The cool air of the cavern was the only reason he could remain as calm as he was. But even through the relief of the air, an annoyance cropped up. Why the hell do these notifications need to ruin every meaningful moment...?
Randidly had problems managing his guilt already. He had been able to keep a clear head about it since he sparred with Bertram and felt the beginnings of Helen’s Depths of Horror seeping into the Stillborn Phoenix, but also the constant ache of her absence hadn’t packed its bags and vacated the hollow under his heart. Now, to stand here above her coffin, to be forced to speak, and to feel himself benefiting front he experience-
Influence +32!
Stop it, Randidly said to himself. He stared at the coffin in front of him, trying to ignore the people waiting behind him. Waiting for him to speak. You know the reason you are nervous... has nothing to do with the accumulation of Influence.
I just don’t know... what do you say about someone who gave their life to protect you? Randidly chewed on his bottom lip for several seconds.
Neveah stood over next to Wivanya and Alana, but she reached through their connection. Do you want a bit of advice?
Yes. Randidly replied honestly. At the moment, his mind was blank.
Say what you would want to say to her now. If she could still hear you.
Randidly pressed his eyes shut and blew a breath out through his nose. He opened his eyes and turned around to look at the people swimming in this same cool grief as him. He forced himself to take another breath to steady himself.
Heiffal and his subordinates who had served as Overseers with Helen stood on the right. In the middle were representatives from the Order Ducis and Kharon who had either been trained by Helen or been trained by those Helen trained. In addition, Donnyton and many of the other Zones sent representatives who had assisted Helen in patrolling the Wildlands in the early days. Beyond them were smaller clusters of people who came from Bubble Cities that Helen and the Order Ducis had liberated.
To the left, about half of the Elite Recruits stood with stern expressions. At the front, Charlotte Wick practically glowered forward, burning a hole in the coffin with her intense gaze.
As he had requested, all the attendees held their weapons as they stood at Helen’s funeral. Randidly would have almost felt dumb for suggesting it in retrospect, had not he seen how desperately everyone was clinging to the bits of metal, bone, and wood in their hands.
“We met as rivals. I went to Tellus to pay a debt and she was one of the first powerful foes I faced. I was lucky enough to defeat her. But even in our first meeting...” Randidly shook his head slowly. “I felt how desperate she was. How much she needed to improve. I had learned to fight underneath the System... and I had learned that I fought and won or I died. Helen believed the same about her own situation; she could not afford to lose. So when I defeated her... she decided to become my spear attendant.
”In her mind, she had no other choice.”
Randidly took another breath. His mouth was suddenly dry; he should have prepared water. With the brief respite, he opened himself up and allowed Nether to flow freely out of him and swirling through the surrounding space. Then he ignored the dryness and continued to speak.
“A lot of you... likely those who didn’t spend as much time with Helen, are probably wondering why I insisted that everyone carry their weapons openly at this funeral and that she be buried with her spear.” Randidly’s lips twitched slightly as he looked around at the surrounding people. “The easy answer is that nothing brought Helen joy like competitive violence. She was fiery and brutal, both in conversation and in a fight. The more complicated answer... is that I would have told you, before I had the last few weeks to reflect, that so much of my relationship with her centered around sparring. Sparring was her constant request to me. Generally, it was the only thing she asked of me.”
Randidly had the urge to scratch his neck but suppressed it. “But... sparring was only the beginning; I was a fool to think that was the defining mode of our relationship. Because now, when I think of Helen...”
His expression crumped. Randidly needed to suck a breath in between his teeth before he could continue. “Now, when I think of her, I remember a woman who never doubted that I could accomplish something. She was someone who would hear me make a sudden and strange request: help me practice my new image, teach these people how to use an image, training these naive youths to become soldiers-”
Across the natural amphitheater, Charlotte Wick fell to her knees and began to sob.
“-anything. Anything I asked, any plan I made, or any bizarre training regimen I wanted to try... Helen was always there.” Randidly’s shoulder heaved as he continued to talk. “She was always there. For years she has followed me without complaint. And I... to her....I am so, so very thankful. I couldn’t have gotten to this point without her. She was my Knight, the only one that I’ll ever have. She was...”
But suddenly, Randidly’s throat closed. The words would no longer come. His body rebelled against his desire to express the complex relationship he had built with Helen through all the years that he had known her. Just like how Randidly felt like his body had been strained to bring a planet into his Alpha Cosmos, he now felt strained releasing the truth of how much she meant to him into the world.
His powerful body was an insufficient medium to convey the truth.
Nether rolled off of his torso in thick ripples. A strange stickiness accumulated in the air as the Nether filled all the available space and began to compress. And in front of him... Islinda removed a training spear from her interspatial device and gripped it tightly. A single tear rolled down her cheek.
Randidly closed his mouth. He could feel his body beginning to heat the cavern; his heart was beating too quickly. He cleared his throat awkwardly and finally addressed the most common uncertainty floating around Helen’s sudden death. “I’ll say this briefly, just once. Helen’s death was not an accident. It was a reminder of the sort of place that the Nexus is. Of the reason why we need to work so hard to change things.”
He turned away from the crowd and peered at the coffin. “Thank you all for coming. For the next hour... sit and remember. For Helen.”