Chapter - 27 The Seven Freaks of Jiangnan (11)

Knowing that his uncle hated the Jin to the bone, Duan Tiande knew that if he told the truth his uncle might kill him on the spot himself, so on the way here he had already thought of a lie. Seeing his uncle's cold stare at this moment, he immediately knelt down and kowtowed: "Someone is troubling me, please help me uncle!"

Buddhist monk Kumu replied: "You are an army officer; it's a miracle if you don't go troubling others, who would dare to trouble you?" With an innocent look on his face, Duan Tiande replied: "I'm no good, but I'm hiding here and there from this Taoist bastard. I hope that uncle will, for the sake of late father, save me." Out of pity, the monk Kumu asked him: "Why is the Taoist chasing you?"

Duan Tiande knew that the more repentant he sounded the better off he was, so he said: "It's all my fault… my fault! Two days ago I went to the Wah-Zi on the west side of Clear Coolness Bridge…." The Abbot Kumu snorted and his face dropped. "Wah She", or "Wah-Zi", was the slang word for brothels back at that time; from that came the saying "Wahs gather when time comes, wahs scatters when time goes", which is used to describe something that comes easily and goes just as fast.

Duan Tiande continued: "There was someone there that I had met on many occasions and she was in the middle of a song when a Taoist suddenly burst in and said that she had to entertain him because her song was so good…." Abbot Kumu abruptly cut in: "Bull! What is a priest doing in a place like that?" Duan Tiande replied: "That's what I said and then I told him to leave. But it turned out that Taoist was a low-life and cursed me for enjoying myself in spite of the fact that I would lose my head in the next couple of days." Abbot Kumu asked: "What is he talking about?" Duan Tiande replied: "He said that the Jin army was going to cross the river and invade south soon and was going to kill every single one of us Song soldiers."

Furious, Buddhist Abbot Kumu demanded: "Did he really say that?" Duan Tiande nodded: "Yes! I guess my temper was not really good either and I got into an argument with him, saying that if the Jin really did invade, we would at least all die fighting and wouldn't necessarily lose." This really rubbed the Abbot Kumu the right way, so much so that he could not help but nod in approval as he thought this was the best thing that this nephew of his ever said. Seeing him nod, Duan Tiande's hope lit up and he continued: "We just kept on arguing until we began to fight, but I wasn't a match for the Taoist. He came chasing after me; I had nowhere else to go, so that's why I came here. Uncle, please help me!" The monk Kumu replied: "I am a monk, I'm not getting involved in this kind of name-seeking matters that you men get yourself into." Duan Tiande begged: "Just this one time, uncle, I will never do anything like this again."

Remembering his brother of yesteryear and quite angry at the Taoist for saying what he said, the Venerable Kumu finally relented: "Alright, you can hide here for a couple of days. I don't want any kind of trouble from you." Duan Tiande agreed to everything and anything he demanded. Abbot Kumu sighed: "An honorable army officer, pah…utterly useless! If the Jin army really does invade, then what will we do? Ay! Back then, I…."

Frightened by threats from Duan Tiande, Li Ping just stood there by his side through all his lies, not daring to say a single word.

The next afternoon, the guest attending monk [Zhike Seng] ran in and reported to monk Kumu: "There's a Taoist priest out front, shouting all kinds of stuff and creating havoc, saying something about making Duan…. Commander Duan, come outside."

Abbot Kumu went and got Duan Tiande and told him. In a panic, Duan Tiande said: "It's him, it's him!" Abbot Kumu asked: "Which sect does this vicious Taoist belong to?" Duan Tiande replied: "I don't know which hole that barbarian crawled out of, but his martial arts don't seem that great, it's just that his arm strength is enormous. The only reason I lost is because I didn't know any martial arts at all." Abbot Kumu replied: "Alright, I'm going to go meet him in person." Walking out to the Main Hall, he ran right into Qiu Chuji who was trying to break into the temple. The guard monks were trying their best to slow him down, but they were failing. The Abbot Kumu walked up to him and gently pushed Qiu Chuji's shoulder, using a bit of inner strength; he figured he would just push Qiu Chuji out of the Main Hall. But, to his surprise, it felt as if he was pushing down on a pile of cotton, there was nothing there that he could actually push against. Knowing he was in trouble, he immediately tried to pull back. But it was too late as he stumbled back out of control and backed into the offerings table. "Crack!" "Boom!" Half of the offerings table collapsed and all the offerings on it were scattered and fell onto the floor.

Shocked, a thought ran through his mind: "This Taoist's martial arts are truly amazing, much more than just enormous arm strength, undoubtedly." He immediately held his palm up and saluted: "May I ask why the reverend has come to visit our humble monastery?" Qiu Chuji replied: "I'm looking for an evil criminal with the surname of Duan." Knowing that he himself was no match for Qiu Chuji, Kumu replied: "We men of religion should always be merciful and forgiving, why is the Priest stooping to the same level as laymen?"

Ignoring him, Qiu Chuji walked into the Inner Hall. By now Duan Tiande had already hidden himself and Li Ping. Yunlou Temple's incense was very popular and it was the Spring Pilgrimage season, so the hall was filled with believers of both genders. Realizing that it was impossible to search thoroughly, Qiu Chuji snorted and walked out.

When Duan Tiande came out from his hiding place, monk Kumu demanded angrily: "Barbarian? If he wasn't holding back, I would be dead by now!" Duan Tiande replied: "That barbaric Taoist is a spy for the Jin; why else would he make a point of specifically troubling us officers of the Great Song?" The Zhike Seng came back in and reported that the Taoist had left. Monk Kumu asked: "Did he say anything as he left?" The Zhike Seng replied: "He said that he would never give up until we turn over that… that officer named Duan."

The Kumu shot an angry look at Duan Tiande and said: "Judging from what you said, I can't figure out why you are hiding. This Taoist's martial arts are really too strong. You probably won't come out alive if you fall into his hands." After quietly thinking for a while, he continued: "You can't stay here any longer. My younger martial brother monk Jiaomu's martial arts are better than mine. He's the only one who has a chance of stopping that Taoist; why don't you go and hide with him for a while?" Duan Tiande didn't even dare to utter a single word fearing that he might anger his uncle. Later his uncle handed him a letter to give to the monk Jiaomu explaining the situation. He immediately rented a boat and headed for Jiaxing in the middle of the night.

How could the monk Jiaomu have guessed that the person he dragged in with him was actually a woman? Since he had the letter from his elder martial brother, he naturally allowed Duan Tiande to stay. When Qiu Chuji found out about this, he came pursuing as well. He even spotted Li Ping in the back gardens of the temple. But by the time he'd burst into the temple, Duan Tiande had already dragged Li Ping into the underground storage room with him. Qiu Chuji, still thinking that Li Ping was in the temple, demanded that she be handed over. Since he saw her with his own eyes, he did not believe any answers that the monk Jiaomu came up with, and their argument got worse and worse. As soon as Qiu Chuji revealed a bit of his martial arts, the monk Jiaomu knew absolutely he was no match. Having always been a good friend of the Seven Freaks, he set up a meeting with Qiu Chuji in the Pavilion of the Drunken Immortal. That huge vat that Qiu Chuji had with him came from that very Fahua Monastery. When he ran into the Jin soldiers in the Pavilion of the Drunken Immortal, Qiu Chuji's misunderstanding got even worse.