Chapter 158 - THE BLISSFUL FEELING

The life in front of you is far more important than the life behind you.

-Joel Osteen-

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"Why?" Raine asked abruptly, as her curiosity had washed over her.

She had heard some rumor about Torak's past, but had never had courage to ask about it.

However now, it felt so right to ask while they were still at it.

Seeing Raine's curiosity was a relief for Torak, it was better to see her this way rather than to see fear or disgusted look in her eyes for what he had done.

"Because there was this curse." Torak started to explain it. Because Raine's reaction was far better than he expected, he felt relax and began to play his fingers between the strands of her hair.

"What kind of curse?" This was the question that she had long wanted to ask.

"A curse which saying I will never have a mate for my entire immortal life." Torak said it lightly, now when he talked about it, he didn't feel the familiar anger gathered within him anymore.

"But, you said… I am your…" Raine puzzled, wasn't Torak always saying that she was his mate?

"My mate." Torak brought her hand to his lips and kissed her fingers. "I did something meritorious and the Moon Goddess lifted my curse, also my brothers as well."

Raine beamed when she heard this. "That must be something remarkable until the Moon Goddess changed her mind."

"I guess so." Torak shrugged his shoulder.

"But, what you and your brother did until the Moon Goddess cursed you?" Raine kept asking question, since they were still in this topic, it would be better if she asked all of her curiosity away.

However, Torak refused to answer that in detail. "A very dreadful sin that I feel ashamed to mention it to you my love." He leaned over and kissed Raine's forehead. "I am sorry, I can't answer this question."

It must be something very dark until Torak refused to share it with her.

Raine contemplated for awhile before she remembered something in Torak's words. "You said there was another more important reason for you to take the guardian angel away from the village, what was that?"

Torak sighed, Raine was too observant. "First because Selene didn't like the rule that the shadow guard set for guardian angel and another reason was because we needed them to fight against the devil." Torak explained it as if he was telling a fairy tale to lull a child to sleep. "Centuries ago there was a great war between Lycanthropes and the devil, and this involved all of the creatures in every realm."

Raine's breath hitched as she listened to him. She couldn't imagine how that war happened, seeing Torak fought in his Lycan form alone was already a scary scene to see, what about thousand of creatures, or more, fought with each other?

"Who is the winner?" Raine asked with fear dancing in her eyes.

"Who do you think has won it?" Torak smiled brightly as an answer and Raine also smiled beautifully when she realized it.

"Glad to hear that." Raine slightly pushed herself up and kissed his chin.

Torak was very satisfied with Raine reaction, especially when she kissed him voluntarily. Seemingly she didn't look at him in disgust or fear, she still accept him after what he had told her, right?

"Don't you see me as a beast now? Bloodthirsty and pathetic beast that live by killing other creatures." Torak asked, though his voice was as calm as ever, but he was worried with what Raine's answer could be.

Raine gave some thought to answer Torak's question. "Even now, there is many thing that I don't understand, the part that you have to kill other creatures to achieve what you want, is the scariest thing that I ever heard, but…" Raine caressed Torak face, tracing her fingers on his jaw line. "I think human also the same, some of them killed each other to survive, or they would try to hurt other people to make themselves feel better."

It was like the treatment that Raine had received in the hospital and orphanage. That nurse had a need to hurt her because he wanted to feel superior. Rumor has it that he felt depressed for long time because of his chief kept pressuring him at work.

In the orphanage, other child would talk bad about Raine because they wanted to make themselves appeared better, they hurt her emotionally as they wanted to find the secure feeling that someone else has more miserable life than them.

Serefina did it in different way though, despite she meant good to burn her mother diary, but Raine felt there was something personal, which made her treated Raine harshly.

No matter what form it took, they did that to survive, their natural instinct to save themselves.

"It's natural instinct to survive when people hurt people. In your case, you just bring it to another level." Raine said it calmly. "It is not my place to judge what you have done, you must have reason for that and maybe I can't accept some of it. But, all of that had already happened and nothing I can do about that."

Torak looked at Raine without blinking, his mate really grew from a scared little girl, who always afraid of her surrounding to be a beautiful girl, who could learn the lessons from what had happened in her life.

"Thus, I want to live my life with you now and I don't want the past bother what I have now." Raine smiled sheepishly, realized she had talked too much.

"Thank you for understand me." Torak couldn't describe the flow of the blissful feeling that ran through his veins now. On the edge of his mind, his beast purred in total satisfaction with his mate's cognition.

"But, can you promise one thing?" She didn't want to ask too much from Torak, but she needed his answer for this. "Can you refrain yourself from killing other?"

"Everything for you my love." Torak kissed her hand and pulled her closed to him. "As long as they don't do any harm on you, I will try." Torak neither agree nor reject her request.

Actually, that wasn't exactly the answer that Raine wanted to hear, but she knew Torak would try to keep his words.