221 The monologue of the Second Princess

- In a room (Lillian perspective)

- How did this happen?

Grasp the cup in your hand and put your thoughts on your current situation. That was very painful and once again something that made me realize what I was being thought around.

That's how I look back and dig up memories that can be called the beginning of it all again.

Beginning with...... have you met Master Argent? A knight with a distinguished international appearance who was among the visitors from Ilfena.

Though if I accidentally spoke to him, he looked a little surprised. Still, he smiled gently and returned the words.

'My name is Argent. It's an honor to hear from you.'

I thought everything was beautiful, both the way it looked and the way it worked. I fell in love with a more gentle smile and voice than that.

If this guy... he might not hurt me. That was enough to illuminate him.

During the investigation, I found out that Master Argent was from the Duke of Bashre's house. It was a joy to float when I found out that.

Being a princess requires a companion commensurate with her status. No matter how good you are in just a knight, you will never be forgiven.

That was the thing that bothered me the most. Because there's nothing more I can do than be a princess.

The problem does not exist. He said he was allowed to be.

When I found out that, I was happy to put my hands together with the ladies on my side....... oh, that kid shook my hand in tears and said 'good for you'.

I immediately told your father how I felt, but your father didn't look good for some reason. Whoever heard it was supposed to be good luck, but your father obviously showed difficulty.

If you think about it now, your father would have understood Mr. Argent's position. The colour that surrounds you, the loyalty that it shows. Because if you knew that, you would have figured out that my love would never come true.

Still, it was the kindness of being a father that made me ask Irfena. It was an extraction that looked to my fringe, which would come in the future, that if I were clearly refused, I would give up.

The result is… naturally, 'no'. This would be it, in a nutshell, even if it is addressed in gentle terms.

I was not allowed to ask why. Dear Argent, if you said so yourself, you would agree with me.

Even so, the words returned from your father had a very sharp thorn.

"Lillian, this is a clear refusal [to marry no matter what]. If you give me a reason, you'll try to do what's right for it. But they're saying they won't even acknowledge the effort. It's no use trying. '

The words made me sincerely tremble. Because that is my own denial that 'no matter what, there is no future to be a partner'.

Because she's the second princess.

Because I'll catch up with you in my capacity.

Because it will be a connection between countries.

It should be noted that in view of all those meanings, they have said 'I don't need it'!

If it was because of me not getting there, I was going to try. Because even I thought I didn't deserve it right now.

It'll take a few years, but if you'll be my fiancée, I'll try my best to be the woman I deserve. Yes, he said he was talking to the samurai, too.

It was... your sister who said such kind words to me.

"Lillian, we are bound by duty. But I'm glad you weren't judged by your identity or royal blood. '

'If they say that's all it's worth.... If that's all you think you need, it's not like you're a blood tool, a sacrifice to make connections between countries.'

'You can't do that. You are my pretty sister. I swore to your mother I would protect you, but it's an important family. "

Your sister's words are so sweet, her arms are so warm to hold me.

You always thought of me when you said you were carrying something much heavier than me.

My sister spoke of her promise in a gentle voice, as usual, to me when I cried out.

'It's okay, Lillian. I'll protect you. "

"Right, sister. Your sister always said that to me."

While I was putting my thoughts to my memory, I grinned at my mouth when I squealed like that.

I kept being told I couldn't do it from a young age. I'm scared of the voices around me, it's hard. When I cried to hide alone, it was always your sister who found me and comforted me.

Your sister promised me all the time to a young self who complained that her contempt gaze was hard when she was afraid of the voice of disappointment.

"It's okay, I'll protect you about you."

"One day, I'll make sure you don't have to cry"

Even a young man knew I couldn't do that. Born can't be helped. The voices around you will never be interrupted more than with royal blood.

Still... Still, I was happy with your sister's words. The love directed at me by someone who is an absolute ally!

My late mother told me, 'Never get along with my parents'. I don't have a faction or anything.

Therefore, there are no houses or people behind them.

... I guess I was a stupid princess but never used because I kept my distance the most.

As I get older, I see it as the reason my mother told me that. I thanked my mother sincerely when I realized... 'You don't have to be your sister's enemy'.

Mother and Queen were very close. But the people at each other's parents were hostile to each other, pinching their annoying mouths for their convenience. I think you're both exhausted and tired.

Mothers have crushed the possibility that my sister and I would be hostile. Perhaps your father is involved.

So... I'm not willing to make a grudge against my situation.

Because it's true that I'm stupid.

Ugh, exhale. I'm sure I should have given up here. That's what I thought.

I can't help but have a fiancée. I should have thought so, but the rumors in my ear kept me from giving up on love.

"The Guardians are drowning their magicians."

I doubted my ears. Because I heard one of the guardians was Master Argent.

Do you ever love someone better than that?

Even though I heard you respect your loyalty to the Lord above all else?

I felt my feet crumble. Because I have understood that the saying no to me does not mean 'no one needs', but 'you do not need'.

Rumors of otherworldly people are also like supporting that prediction... and I wondered why I couldn't. "I want it because I'm a powerful magician," then it would have been recognized as my value as a princess. Not so, that means......

A twitchy, heart-burning emotion... jealousy toward a wizard I've never even met.

Even if everyone thinks of what underlies the rumors as' duty as a guardian ', I know, I'm not the only one. It's because I'm the one who got poked no...... I'm out of saying' it's not '.

I regretted it. I wasn't even allowed to try.

It was sad. I was going to give up because nobody would turn around.

The only thing brought to me with that sentiment was a report that Master Argento and the Magic Instructor, who visited Sarovara, were very friendly.

Whoever sees it deserves the word 'drowning', so much so that Master Argento is spoiling it.

Anticipation turns to certainty, and hatred grows in me. Don't you have any words to speak to me with the samurai, so that their treatment touches the swelling?

Decision-making was Argentinean's attitude and language between the glances. Because whoever saw it was a 'lover'!

I couldn't stand it and pinched my mouth. Your father looked at me, but I still couldn't help but say a word.

I think of you.

At least you wanted your own words.

Still...... the answer returned is an emphasis on position. It was that 'position' that mattered before being one woman named 'Lillian', which was also poked at me by that demon mentor.

Now, I think I've said terrible things to the Wizard. Even though the words you say out loud on eight strikes are something you should never say to another world.

But she wasn't angry. On the contrary, I don't think I even hurt you.

I can't win.

I vaguely thought so. I was surprised, but terrified, by the attitude that it was natural.

'Cause, right? The emotions that can be directed at people in different worlds are not always gentle... I hear that there are many people who try to use them. It would not be once or twice more a monster treatment than being a magician.

Yet she confronts the word plainly. No, I laugh and cut back while taking that for granted.

I guess the reason Master Argent thinks' she would 'affects that aspect as well. Yes, I'm so convinced.

Once you think that, you can give up. And what stays is regret and self-loathing.

Let's apologize. Even if you don't forgive me, let's apologize while she's in this country.

It also influenced Argentinean attitude that made him think so. I showed it then, cold eyes. Because it was far from what I had in mind, Master Argent.

I'm sure Master Argent is not who I think he is. Similar thoughts to the certainty rapidly caused me to lose my admiration for Master Argento from within.

I don't think it's terrible. But I didn't think he was being nice.

Is she really happy that Master Argent likes her like that?

I don't think it felt sad. But it's not the wind I'm in love with. Close friends, or trusted associates. I heard you were drowning, but how dare you have that impression.

I'm sure there's a lot I don't know. Based on that, she is convinced of her relationship with the guardians.

I didn't think so. If such a relationship is to be desired, it is only natural that I cannot stand next to Master Argent.

No, even if I could have been your partner, it wouldn't have been the relationship I wanted. I'm sure your marriage has turned cold.

So... I was convinced. I could give up.

Yet...

"There are suspicions that your samurai has harmed the Demon Master and the Knight of the Guard."

That kid who was told that and taken. That kid didn't say anything to me that surprised me.

"I'm on the Princess's side."

That girl who always told me that. If you were doing something for me... if the suspicions that could be directed at you by everyone were true!

It won't be enough for me to apologize to that girl. Because I got that kid involved in my own stupidity!

"Hey, how come... you didn't say anything to me?

There are no words to whine or return. That child is restrained, and the magician is gone. That reality twitches and erodes me. I'm about to be crushed by guilt.

You said you thought so much about Master Argent, and now it's all about that kid. I never thought of losing the existence that stood beside me as an ally, etc., so scary.

That's why I consolidate one resolve. Though I know it's a lonely, very unhanging sin in my time.

What if?

If that child has sinned.

I will kneel down to apologize to my magician and ask forgiveness. I didn't know anything. I can't do it, I'm the culprit of it all, so let's throw this body and apologize.

If this country says that your father, your sister, and that child will be forgiven... it is cheap if it is my life.

Stupid, unnecessary me for this country. Bad second princess.

Still, I remember my gratitude to those who put their hearts to it.