CH 11

All Senelia’s struggles up to now was a means to marry Benelucia.

Only then will she be safe.

Only then will she be free from the emperor’s reach.

But when he finally did arrive, Benelucia was flippant about marriage.

Senelia felt as though those past eight years were useless.

If marriage was something he could go through so casually, then what the hell did she need those eight years for?

All that humiliation and pain experienced and endured during that time.

What was the use of that?

Like any other person who were denied the fruits of their labor, Senelia was bound to anger.

“Even if I ran out of this banquet hall right now and catch anyone to get married to… It would have nothing to do with the Grand Duke.”

Senelia spat out the first words that came to mind.

For the first time in eight years, her words were spoken without thought, and they were filled with jagged thorns.

The thorns that she had faithfully swallowed countless times over.

Senelia left Benelucia behind and ran out of the break room.

Which in fact, was something she had long since wanted to do.

***

With her return to the townhouse, Senelia began to regret her actions.

Everything. She regretted everything she had done in the break room.

I… It’s all been in vain.

Her fear arose.

For eight years I struggled. I knew it from the beginning how selfish Benelucia could be.

But today, she wasn’t able to endure it. She had gotten furious at him and used the name of Lucalina against him

It was pathetic and so terrifying. She hated it so much that she could hardly breathe.

“How, how…”

Senelia began to mutter hysterically, all while biting on her thumb.

It was an act developed subconsciously as the though of death gave her anxiety.

What will I do if Benelucia really wants to break up with me?

Senelia kept imagining what would happen.

The imaginary Benelucia, looking at her with a tired expression on his face.

Eventually turning his back on her. Never looking back.

“Urgh…!”

At that precise moment, Senelia’s panting gasps stopped entirely.

Thud.

Unable to breathe, her body slid off the chairs and fell onto the floor.

“…Miss!”

The maid, having readied the bath, opened the door, and ran to Senelia in a panic.

However, once Senelia collapsed, she did not react.

“Young Lady, calm down! Miss!”

For a second, Senelia thought to herself…

She thought that this might be her only last chance to have some peace.

***

Benelucia looked down at the sound asleep Senelia.

‘The Young Miss collapsed, but I couldn’t contact the priest… Help! Your Majesty!’

As soon as he heard those words, Benelucia felt as if he himself could not breathe.

Senelia had collapsed and the maid at her townhouse had urgently sent for a priest, but she had remained unconscious.

A priest who could call to the spiritual side of a person was known as a high-leveled priest amongst priests.

A lower noble such as Senelia, would not be able to call.

So, the maid had run straight to the mansion of the Grand Duke.

Senelia hated it, but it was the only available option.

As a result, Benelucia was able to see Senelia’s townhouse room for the first time.

…Is it because of me?

But he paid it no attention, Benelucia had focused entirely on the events of today.

Anxiety gave Senelia a pale complexion.

…She often had trouble breathing.

As he thought back to the maid’s explanation, Benelucia was troubled.

They had been together for eight years, and even something like that was unknown to him.

According to the maid, Senelia sometimes panicked and had trouble breathing.

They said a priest came over several times, but nothing could help her.

And then, Senelia had quietly accepted that fact.

“…Why the hell did I leave you like that?”

He lowered his voice to a murmur in fear that she might wake up.

Senelia had never wanted to be a nuisance for Benelucia. So, for that reason, she had thoroughly hidden her problem, Benelucia had no way of knowing about it.

Senelia was a person who pretended to be unwavering in front of the duke.

Besides, she hadn’t told anyone, because of one reason.

She was walking on thin ice.

The emperor’s sword was patiently at the ready to kill her for even the slightest misstep.

So Senelia couldn’t help being anxious.

She had developed a panic disorder brought on by extreme tension and anxiety.

Panic disorder. That was the condition Senelia had been diagnosed with.

“How did you hide so much from me?”

Benelucia thought of Senelia, who was angry at him.

Ironically, he had seen more of her after the breakup.

It was also the first time he had ever seen Senelia get so upset.

He knew she was withholding something from him.

But he could not just straight out ask her what she was hiding.

Wasn’t I the one who told Senelia from the beginning to not ask for anything?

“Is that why you said goodbye to me?”

No one can hide themselves for their entire lives.

As he watched Senelia, whose complexion still didn’t improve with sleep, the thought crept into his now calm mind.

It was then that Senelia’s eyelids trembled and fluttered.

The moment her red eyes met his gaze, Benelucia felt relieved.

He didn’t notice his state of mind.

“…Majesty?”

Senelia panicked and spoke.

From what she could see, the ceiling was her room in the townhouse. So how was Benelucia there?

She had never intended to bring him into her personal space.

“You fell, Sally. Are you okay?”

The Grand Duke replied cautiously in a gentle voice.

As if they were lovers who did not part.

When she finally believed that Benelucia was really in her room, Senelia’s brows furrowed in an instant.

In the end, traces of him will remain in her room from now on.

Benelucia Afron had always been very memorable to Senelia.

I hate that from now on I will think of him even in my room.

“Why are you here, Your Majesty?”

As a result of her frustration, her words weren’t pretty.

“You collapsed, how can I not come?”

Her words did not anger Benelucia.

Rather, he gently patted Senelia as if worried when he noticed she became nervous as soon she woke up.

“Sleep some more. Before the priest left, he said you needed to take a break.”

Senelia bit her lip.

What happened in the break room during the banquet was only a brief incident.

In the end, Benelucia Afron was arrogant like the rest of the royal family, and yet, miraculously but ironically, he was also a kind person.

It was a fact that Senelia, who had been with him for eight years, knew well.

Because sometimes the fact that his kindness, when ignoring his selfishness, wasn’t hers at all. It pained her.

Let’s go to sleep without thinking about anything.

She was feeling depressed.

So Senelia forced her thoughts out.

Losing her fighting power in an instant, she placed her half-raised upper body back on the bed without another word.

If I stay awake, I probably wouldn’t be able to stop overthinking.

“I’ll be by your side until you wake up. Sleep well.”

Benelucia said soothingly.

Senelia, ironically, felt relieved.

The emperor won’t come to visit her when the Grand Duke was around.

In the end, Benelucia was the only one who could save Senelia.

Bang. Bang. Bang.

Had it not been for the sudden frantic knocking on the door, Senelia would have fallen asleep.

“Your Majesty! I have something to report to you!”

Despite the loud knocking, the Grand Duke did not immediately come out. A voice was heard instead.

“Go away.”

However, even after hearing the urgency in his subordinate’s voice, Benelucia was not swayed.

He intended to stay by Senelia’s side as he had promised.

But the next words he heard made that impossible.

“Your Majesty, the Young Lady Elihan is back!”

Lucalina Elihan.

The duke flinched at her name.

He whispered in disbelief.

“…Lucalina?”

Lucalina Elihan.

In the face of that name, Senelia turned white.

Even though the duke sat before her, she had forgotten to take care of her facial expression.

…The heroine? Why, why… Already?

Senelia’s hands trembled in panic.

The reality she had feared every day for the past eight years had finally begun to unfold before her eyes.

One year… Wasn’t there one more year left?

She repeatedly counted to herself again and again.

However, according to the flow of the original from her memories, it was correct for Lucalina to appear only a year later.

It was not that Senelia was wrong, the original had changed.

Why…? I, I …I intervened? Was it because I tried to change the original?

Senelia covered her mouth.

Because at that moment, a hysterical scream seemed about to come out.