CH 26

They had never spoken of their true feelings ever since the very beginning. Senelia was accustomed to swallowing up her resentment and even the hatred that developed later on.  

She felt like she needed a reaction from Benelucia first.  

For him to reveal any emotions that had been buried and left to rot away.  

It was cruel of her to force him when she spent her time struggling to hide the stench of her dying love.  

I wanted to guarantee that you loved me.  

But there was no love that could ever exist between the two.  

Because at the center of it all, their love festered. 

For many years, Senelia had loved Benelucia, but that love was corrupted by the weight of their secrets and lies.  

Nevertheless, love or not… Senelia was determined to marry Benelucia.  

She grudgingly took a spoon and scooped up some porridge. The watery porridge slowly flowed down her throat like a heavy stone.  

Senelia ate it anyway.  

She had a lot of work to do now. It was vital to fill her stomach with something and move on.  

It was her luck that she had no stomach ache after eating the lukewarm porridge. 

Viscountess Daphnen was not idle and Senelia could not fall behind and waste time. ‘They had to hurriedly make up for the sudden loss of Viscount Daphnen.  

Since the unexpected bump in with the Grand Duke at their estate, it meant that he had gotten involved in the Viscount’s business without consulting her prior.  

What exactly were you thinking? 

Her expression wasn’t pleasant as she visited the guest room where the Grand Duke resided. Sighing angrily, she knocked on the door.  

Knock. Knock.  

“Your Majesty, may I come in?” 

“Welcome, Sally.” 

The door was instantly pulled open by Benelucia. It was as though he had been lying in wait. He probably knew she was coming.  

It further showed that he was going to meddle into the workings of the Viscount estate.  

“Sit down. Is it just before lunch yet?” 

He remained relaxed as he suggested they dine together and seeing his behavior caused Senelia’s stomach to twist.  

Benelucia was satisfied, he had gotten Senelia to bring herself to him according to his wishes.  

The young lady sat before him, thinking of how a meeting with Benelucia would not end quickly. She tried to calm herself.  

I will do what I’ve always done, especially since it looks like Benelucia is out to get me to lose control. I don’t want to comply with his wishes.  

“I have work left to do, so if Your Majesty needs to eat, I will get the chef to prepare it for you.” 

Calmly, she rejected his suggestion. From her understanding, there could be only one reason why Benelucia would choose her over Lucalina.  

It was because Senelia Daphnen had behaved differently from the countless other women who had ever fallen for him.  

So, the Grand Duke was trying to shake her resolve, but she could risk it. If she fell short, her ending would be like all the other women before her.  

Senelia needed to keep her distance from him, if only for a while.  

Whether he needed her to avoid suspicion, or because he wanted the love he once had but lost… It meant that he couldn’t have it even though he wanted it and that made him desire it even more.  

“Have you come to my room and still insist on not having dinner with me?” 

He’s shameless.  

With the intention of summoning her to him, he must have been secretly controlling the affairs of the Viscount estate which Senelia had not paid attention to, and used it to make Senelia voluntarily come to him.  

“Your Majesty, you must know why I’ve come to visit. I appreciate the kindness shown to our family, but there is no need for Your Majesty to go out of your way to hide my father’s obituary.” 

[T/N: An obituary is a notice of death mostly used in newspapers.] 

Straight to the point without a chance to interrupt, she got her main reason out before Benelucia could respond.  

News of Viscount Daphnen was not important amongst the capital’s noblemen. Rather, his daughter, Senelia Daphnen, had received much attention ever since she held the title of lover of the Grand Duke. 

Despite her appearance at the banquet hall with the Young Lord Pendragon, it did not stop her being tied to Benelucia.  

And so, word of the Viscount would draw the attention of the nobles, especially since she had been with the duke for a long time without any whispers of a marriage to him.  

The sudden death of Viscount would have already become a popular discussion in the capital, and yet, no one knew of it. No one communicated with them about it and no one was lurking about. This led Senelia to believe that someone had a hand in suppressing the news.  

There weren’t many people who could cover the eyes of the capital’s aristocrats.  

Of course the emperor would not give Senelia a helping hand, so that left just one other. Grand Duke Benelucia Afron.  

“Sally, I’ve thought about what you said yesterday.” 

It seemed that Benelucia had now finally understood her actions. But she, who had never asked for anything from him when they were lovers, could not accept his favor now.  

The Grand Duke was too calm, he did something unexpected.  

“I know I have wronged you.” 

Ominous. Senelia felt something wicked was coming her way.  

His words made her forget to breathe.  

“And for that, I guess you will never forgive me. Right, Sally?” 

He so easily revealed her hatred for him, causing her to tightly clench her trembling hands.  

If one shows such an attitude but hoped for the other to not notice, then that person was truly stupid.  

Senelia had once hoped that Benelucia could be that stupid.  

It’s just… He’s acted that way for eight years, never caring about my problems and reactions. I just assumed that it will be the case this time too.  

If you can’t pay attention to someone, how could you possibly understand the workings of their mind?  

Benelucia’s love for Lucalina had been so pure and came so naturally to him that Senelia had long since come to the conclusion that he would never be able to love anyone but Lucalina.  

Now that he was looking for her heart, she was at a loss.  

“I dare not forgive Your Majesty for any wrongdoings.” 

[T/N: She means that it is not her place to forgive him. Whether he has wronged her or not, she, as a subject of the empire, cannot go above her standing and accept his apology.] 

Her mind was blank.  

She was not a person known for her ability to adjust to a situation quickly. Her expectations after those eight years were different from what she faced now.  

After all those years, Benelucia had felt an attachment to Senelia, and when they became uncomfortable with one another, Senelia ran away. Entirely unaware that she had ran away from a living being, Benelucia, who would chase after her.  

From her perspective, she didn’t consider that Benelucia might come to understand her emotions.  

“If you hate me, Sally, doesn’t it mean that you loved me very much?” 

Her brows furrowed as her mood plummeted.  

It appeared that the love she had wasted on the Grand Duke and then hid had begun to show once more.  

Senelia would be lying to herself if she said she did not yearn for Benelucia’s love, but it was a shield she would use cower behind to avoid wondering if it was okay to love him when he might not love her back.  

[T/N: I don’t know about you guys, but I personally don’t like the road their love is heading down. T-T] 

Her love had once been acknowledged then trampled on by benelucia himself, it was a terrifying memory to relive.  

Senelia could never fully explain how miserable she felt at that time, how unfair it was and how it brought tears to her eyes.  

“It’s okay should you not forgive me.” 

Her eyes turned red, the frustration she felt caused her to hold back angry sobs.  

But still, Benelucia continued. He was now a man who would not stop speaking his thoughts.  

“I do not care if you do not love me right now.” 

He spoke confidently.  

The protagonist of this arrogant world.  

It was words only the Benelucia Afron could utter with ease.  

“I’ll make you love me again, Sally.” 

[T/N: Our novel title is starting to take place.] 

It would have been nice if what he confessed was an empty promise.  

But, for some reason, Senelia was afraid. 

The only time she felt loved by Benelucia was only when he allowed it. It had always been that way in the past, and should be so in the future.  

So, if someone like Benelucia, whom Senelia loved, was determined to aim for her love once again, she wasn’t sure she could stop herself.  

I’m not confident.  

She had been too lonely and broken to not give in.  

“Please don’t.” 

Senelia couldn’t hide her fear.  

If the day came where she longed for his love again, she would not be able to endure it.  

She would have to spend the rest of her life with the fact that Lucalina Elihan was his first true love and his destined partner for the rest of her life.  

And she would always be the one cast to the side, simply a hopelessly in love person who was used when needed and nothing more.  

“Love. I have told Your Majesty that I would be by your side without yearning for love.” 

Determined, she wanted to protest against his cruelty.  

“This is a fact that will always remain between us, Your Majesty.” 

After experiencing one fear, the gateway holding back the others crumbled.  

The excitement she felt when she was at his side.  

The blooming emotions from his trivial affection.  

Her eyes that trailed after him, a man who was the main character in life.  

The love that would lift its head like a spout that was hit by spring rain.  

[T/N: Talking about a love that blooms like how a plant sprouts after a spring rain.] 

If Benelucia sincerely seeked her love, how much more would she love him? 

If that happens, will Cliff de Helios leave my family and I alone? Can I spy on the man I so desperately want to love and remain at his side?  

Every scenario she could think of ended in disaster.