CH 31

“What? Did His Majesty think that we really wouldn’t know that Senelia wasn’t chosen as the Grand Duchess candidate?”

Senelia’s eyes widened.

Ah… Benelucia and Lucalina’s love story should have been even more famous at that time, of course it wouldn’t have made sense if the mature Viscount Daphnen and his wife hadn’t heard news of it. 

Even if they weren’t interested in social circles, there was much insider gossip that aristocrats would hear of even if they didn’t join the social circles. 

Senelia looked at Benelucia with hopeful eyes without realizing it.

At least, please, I hoped that my parents would never know that I was only a substitute.

However, Benelucia had no reply.

In the end, silence was the answer.

The Grand Duke had already long guessed that the viscountess might know about Lucalina’s relationship with him.

Senelia’s body trembled and staggered at the feeling of betrayal.

“Sally!”

He was surprised by her sudden stumble that he automatically reached out and hugged Senelia.

Smack. 

There was a commotion as she slashed the hand that was holding her away forcefully.

Senelia’s eyes widened with betrayal.

So this is the main reason why mother was so vehemently opposed to Benelucia.

Even so, her mother probably didn’t want to let Senelia know about it as much as possible. 

She would have known that her daughter would be hurt.

However, Benelucia’s actions had forced the Viscountess to even tell Senelia that she knew about him and Lucalina.

His attitude was so strong that it was as if he couldn’t turn back once he passed from this spot.

“If the person who did that to my daughter says he loves her now, how long will that love last?”

The Viscountess’s words poured out like a flood. Those were the words she had been holding back until the very end, not wanting to hurt her daughter.

“Have you had a change of heart and abandoned your love for Lady Elihan enough to now go after my daughter?”

Her mother’s words raised doubts she didn’t even know existed in Senelia.

The contents seemed to make a lot of sense.

She was shaken. Senelia’s face, shaken by the feeling of betrayal, showed such emotions.

“Close that mouth of yours. It’s an order.”

The Grand Duke spoke nervously to the Viscountess but was answered by Senelia.

“It’s the order of His Majesty, the Grand Duke, so of course it should be as he says.”

She sounded sarcastic to anyone listening in.

Senelia, however, glared at Benelucia, but did not dare to look back at her mother’s face. 

I didn’t have the confidence to do that.

She was not unaware that there was talk of her being with him for a long time.

To give an excuse, Senelia had been very desperate for eight years.

My parents didn’t say much, and I thought they wouldn’t know because they were so indifferent to the social world.

Especially since Senelia became entangled with Benelucia, they had been afraid of getting entangled in useless gossip, so they didn’t even look at the social circles to join.

That’s why I thought there was no way it would reach their ears unless someone deliberately conveyed Benelucia’s love history to them. 

Foolishly, she only realized it now.

That it was because of her that they had completely cut off their interest in the social world.

So, how can I look at my mother’s face?

“Sally, sit down. It’s nothing to get excited about.”

The Viscountess gently took her daughter by the arm and pulled her.

There was a clear hint of concern in her voice for the trembling Senelia.

Rather than shouting, she was worried that her daughter’s health would be harmed by her anger.

She took in the sight of her daughter who was much thinner than she was eight years ago.

Senelia groaned. 

She was so grateful and sorry for all the problems she’d caused them that it was hard to bear that her mother was there for her even at this moment.

“…Let me talk to Sally alone for a moment.”

Benelucia suggested to the Viscountess.

Senelia wasn’t looking at him, a rare trace of nervousness ran over his face.

Despite his softening tone, the Viscountess did not let her guard down. 

Senelia sighed deeply at the tense atmosphere, she turned to her mother. 

“I’ll have a good talk, Mom.”

Mom. It’s a title she hadn’t used well since she became an adult. It was so affectionate.

“Are you okay, Sally?”

The viscountess inquired, worriedly. She didn’t want to leave her daughter and that man alone.

Benelucia subtly groaned. 

He wanted to argue that he would not harm Senelia, but refrained as his last bit of awareness warned him that his reply would not be welcomed with open arms. 

“…I have to say something to him.”

I want to tell him that I’m not okay with everything. 

Really, I’m sick of saying that I’m fine unconditionally.

Benelucia flinched, subconsciously, he understood what she was planning to confess. 

Senelia looked at him and laughed at herself.

It was funny how their attitudes changed as soon as they realized who had the upper hand in this fight for  love. Of course, this applied to herself as well. 

“Yes, I understand.”

The Viscountess nodded and left the room, she would trust her daughter.

When the Viscountess left, a chilly silence lingered for a moment.

As always, it was Benelucia who spoke first.

“Sally, I was wrong.”

“How many times have you repeated this line? It has become easier for you to apologize?”

Barbed words flew from her lips.

No matter how much Veneruccia loved her, Senelia knew that hurting his ego won’t do her any good.

Even if I knew, it didn’t matter as much now.

Anyway, if Senelia didn’t get angry in her current situation, Benelucia would become suspicious of her.

Thanks to that fact, she put the resentment she’s always swallowed down to good use.

“In the first place… I don’t know if you’re really apologizing, I’m starting to think that you believe that you can be easily forgiven after only apologizing.”

“I’m not like that—”

“You are.”

Senelia abruptly interrupted her ex-lover.

This time it wasn’t impulsive, it was deliberate. 

Because I don’t want to hear excuses that didn’t work.

“You really didn’t calculate in your heart that I would forgive Your Majesty in the end?”

He was speechless.

When he heard of Viscount Daphnen’s death, he thought that Senelia would never forgive him.

Because you can’t bring the dead back to life, because there is no such thing as a second chance. It was because of him.

Then what about the rest? Did I think I could get it back?

Benelucia was silent.

He thought seriously over Senelia’s words, as if he had already been prepared to do whatever it took when she gave her ultimatum. 

Senelia was surprised.

Benelucia is a man who is good at handling women. 

She thought a slick answer would quickly flow from his mouth to placate her.

If not, she guessed that it was because he was embarrassed by his behavior, which was rare, and could not answer anything.

That is to say, she never expected Benelucia to seriously contemplate her questions before. 

Aside from the slight pain in her heart, Senelia felt only restlessness.

I lived all these years silently, thinking that Benelucia would not want to hear my story.

But if I had come clean, would I have had to do all of this stupid scheming by myself after all?

That was the worst assumption Senelia didn’t want to believe in.

The assumption that Benelucia had in fact loved her for a long time. The assumption that if she had only been honest things might have been better.

Or the assumption that if she hadn’t given up on gaining the love of Benelucia from the beginning, she wouldn’t have lost herself like this.

All of her thoughts were terrible. If all those assumptions were true, the Benelucia scandal of wanting to confirm her feelings and all this time she had been killing herself with heartache were all her fault.

Benelucia’s silence and anguish towards everything made Senelia hate him even more.

“I hate Your Majesty so much.”

Senelia’s hands were shaking  as she gripped the hem of her dress. The sorrows and fury that was kept deep inside finally took shape when it was finally spat out.

And it was so huge that Senelia couldn’t contain herself.

I was so miserable that I had no choice but to think that everything would have been solved by earning your love. My family, the emperor and myself.

“Sally.”

Embarrassment lingered in the Grand Duke’s tone.

Senelia’s eyes, the eyes of which had been suppressing her emotions so that she would not break down, turned red.

She didn’t cry. 

But it felt as though it was worse than crying. 

Benelucia wanted to cry.

Please cry Sally. 

He wanted to hug Senelia and beg her.

However, his wish did not come true.

Knock. Knock.

“My lady, a guest has arrived.”

The maid’s voice came from outside the door.

Even if the Viscount’s wife was alive and well, the next Viscount was Senelia. 

If there was just a normal guest, it would be okay if the viscountess was the one to welcome them. 

But they were still holding the funeral of a noble, a funeral of a noble, also the place to announce the face of the next heir of the noble who was ready to take their parent’s place.

I don’t know how that guest arrived so quickly, but Senelia can’t leave.

“Yes. I am coming.”

Senelia turned away from the Grand Duke.

For a moment it seemed to the Grand Duke that Senelia would never look back at him again. 

Instinctively, he reached out and grabbed her.

“I don’t think I can accept Your Majesty’s marriage proposal.”

With that said, Senelia brushed off his hand in peace.

It would be Benelucia who had to catch her from now on.

Maybe, just maybe, this is the moment we have been waiting for.

[T/N: So… This was a confusing chapter. ToT

Long story short, she didn’t expect her parents to know the reason behind why Benelucia dated her and was trying to protect her all this time. Benelucia was aware of everything a long time ago, and Senelia began to truly hate him because he might have already loved her before but still made no actions to change what people thought of her or try to explain to her parents. Thus this led to her father’s death, which could have been avoided.

Hope that was helpful guys.]