Chapter 2: ✧:.｡.

—————————————————————–Translated By Arcane Translations

Translator: FusionX

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Everything stemmed from a relic I had picked up.

A jewel that was said to grant any wish – who knew it would lead to such a dreadful life?

I had merely wanted to undo one twist of fate.

The relationships, friends, and loved ones I had ruined with my own hands.

But reality was not so kind.

Those who treated me coldly remained the same, and I did not have many opportunities to atone for my misdeeds.

I failed and died. I pushed too hard and died.

Despite the relic’s immense power that kept rewinding time, there was no hope in that endless cycle.

When I first died, I thought acting differently from then on would change things.

I believed if I showed remorse and repentance for my actions, things would return to normal and the people I loved would accept me again.

Through the second, third, and dozens of deaths, my mind gradually became dilapidated.

At times, I tried to become a courteous gentleman and an expert in human relations.

I even became a master at seducing women, my name becoming a symbol of a philanderer, once even successfully luring a princess to be mine.

But in the cycle where I went mad and killed everyone with my own hands, that princess beheaded me.

In the end, each life culminated in a wretched demise, never changing.

It was as if the world whispered to me that my destiny was only ruination, urging me to give up.

So I gave up. After 100 deaths, I finally aimed for eternal rest…

‘How relieving.’

The familiar ceiling, whose every pattern I remembered from seeing it over 100 times, came into view.

I had seen this situation so many times that it was ingrained in me like a picture – the clothes I was wearing, the bed I was lying on, and soon the servant who would come to check if I had woken up.

Remembering these endlessly repeating routines is agonizing.

Especially knowing that no matter how humbly I acted, I would invariably die a miserable death.

In any case, now that I had returned here, it was time to decide how to act.

How should I act this time? Until now, I had acted to ‘survive’ – or rather, to live together with everyone but myself.

I endured insults for any possibility, even kneeling and begging at times. There were quite a few instances where I acted overly cautious to eliminate variables.

Of course, after dying a few times, such obsessions faded. But looking back now, it was all pointless.

Yet I no longer needed to live like that.

It would be better to achieve my goal and then die, if possible.

Giving up entirely and living solely for pleasure didn’t seem so bad either.

Though I had already tried that in one loop, so I wasn’t particularly interested in it anymore.

“I suppose living by doing what I want isn’t so bad.”

There wasn’t much I wanted to do, but I had wished to see the southern sea at least once.

Being close to the north and spanning the central regions, there weren’t many chances to see the ocean here.

Seeing the sea and repaying a debt to a woman I had greatly benefited from in one life seemed fine.

She wouldn’t remember, but in what was likely my best life, I had greatly benefited from her kindness.

My goal was the most perfect death. If the voice I remembered from the last loop was right…

This would likely be my final death.

Knock knock –

As I was organizing my thoughts, there were a few knocks before the door swung open.

The one who entered was an elderly servant.

His name was Renold, I think. As I stared at him intently, a calm voice flowed from his mouth.

“You’ve awoken…I thought you would sleep in late again today. I was soon ordered to have you-”

“Listen here, servant.”

I was used to the servants acting this way towards me.

My standing in the Taylor household was truly abysmal – so pathetic that even a servant could dismiss me if he wished.

But that didn’t mean he should actually disrespect me.

When I cut him off, the servant looked at me with seemingly flustered, wide eyes.

As I always thought, I needed to fix this servant’s habit.

Previously I had let it go in my desperation to survive, but now there was no need for that.

“What is my name?”

“…Pardon?”

“Don’t make me repeat myself. I asked what my name is.”

“Robert Taylor, sir.”

The servant slowly answered in a subdued voice. Right, my name is Robert Taylor.

No matter how much of a scoundrel I’m called, no matter how wretched my end, this household is not so lowly that a mere servant can disrespect me.

“And yet you seem to treat me as an equal. Was knocking too much trouble? If so, we might as well remove the door altogether. I’m quite curious what nation determined it proper etiquette to barge in immediately after knocking.”

It’s not for a good-for-nothing, problem child like me who has disgraced the family’s dignity enough to be executed two or three times to say, but the name Taylor has proven quite effective at subjugating others.

The servant’s body flinched at my sharp gaze.

Yet his voice was composed, even startlingly so to my ears.

“If word got out that a mere servant entered his master’s quarters at his own discretion, what would become of the Taylor dignity? And who would take responsibility for that fallen dignity? You intend to take responsibility?”

“That’s not what I -”

“Then correct yourself. If you make another mistake like this, I will report directly to Father.”

The ashen-faced servant repeatedly bowed before promising in a far more courteous manner to bring my meal.

As he scurried away with his tail between his legs, a thin smile unknowingly formed on my lips.

“…This is better, after all.”

Keeping servants in line was the more convenient approach – a lesson learned through several reincarnations.

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It seemed the rumor that I had harshly reprimanded a servant had already spread, as the stares piercing me on my way to dine were rather noisy.

Their blatant gossiping was almost laughable. Just how meek did they think I was to act that way?

Yet I no longer intended to let them look down on me.

I had nothing to fear, so why should I hesitate? There was no need for me to struggle to live any longer.

If someone tried to kill me, I would even be grateful.

For me, who had no goals or ambitions left, wasn’t life that worthless?

“You must have just made this.”

“Yes, sir. After your orders earlier, I instructed the kitchen staff to make everything anew.”

It seemed the earlier incident had made Renold regain his senses, as his demeanor towards me was quite admirable.

No, this was only natural. That I had lived so futilely was proof enough.

Speaking of which, I hadn’t ordered them to remake the food, so would they have served me cold leftovers?

I already knew the answer, of course.

The food I would have eaten would likely be frigid, inedible chunks of meat.

But this time, the steak sliced through with remarkable ease.

As I savored the food with a satisfied expression, I sensed Renold furtively watching me.

…What was he doing to spoil my appetite? I set down my fork and gave him a sidelong glance, prompting him to open his mouth as if he had been waiting.

“The Lady Yuria is on her way. How would you like to…proceed?”

“Well.”

My elder sister and the one who would inherit our household from Father.

In my past life, she was the one who gave me the poison, for which I was rather grateful.

As far as I could recall, it was one of the least painful ways I had died.

But would I even be able to properly swallow my meal if I saw her face in the middle of eating?

Just as I was about to say I would see her afterward, the door once again swung open as Yuria strode briskly inside.

It seems the people of this household have a habit of entering without permission.

More accurately, it was probably because they looked down on me.

As I scrunched my face slightly, a chilling voice pierced my ears.

“Your complexion looks good after that stunt yesterday. Have you stopped feeling any remorse at all?”

“…What did I do yesterday?”

The ‘act’ from yesterday was vivid in my mind, but I pretended ignorance.

In the end, my countless reincarnations had rendered such things meaningless.

Nothing would change in the future whether I knew or not.

Feigning a confused expression as I asked back, Yuria gave me an incredulous look.

It might have been the first time she saw such an expression from me.

Perhaps it was the first time I hadn’t apologized, which was likely unfamiliar to her.

My life had always involved apologizing for actions I didn’t even remember and taking responsibility for things I didn’t need to.

But I no longer intended to live like that. S~ᴇaʀᴄh the NʘvᴇlFirᴇ.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

Clunking her footsteps as she brushed past the servant to stand before me, Yuria’s gaze was rather fierce.

Her blue-tinged eyes always seemed to hold disdain and loathing on the verge of spilling out, so I could never easily meet Yuria’s eyes.

Of course, that was in the past. Though I had lived like a scoundrel, my current self had committed no major sins.

Just minor transgressions deserving of a scolding at most – too trifling to even call them sins.

Thus, my demeanor was confident.

Knife still in hand from cutting my steak, I met the eyes of Yuria standing before me.

“Have you become so brazen that you can’t even apologize now? Just how unsightly do you plan to become, Robert Taylor?”

“I have no intention of becoming unsightly. I merely judged it appropriate to offer my apologies directly to the Duke .”

“Ha, since when have you placed such importance on etiquette? If you considered it so crucial, then why have you not-”

“Since today.”

I answered coldly yet calmly. I realized it was better to have no feelings towards Yuria at all.

I felt neither pity nor hatred for her.

Neither fear nor dislike – just a complete absence of emotion.

To me, Yuria Taylor was simply my elder sister and the lady of the estate. Nothing more, nothing less.

There was no possibility or room for her to be anything else. For a moment, Yuria stared at me blankly.

Her usually piercing gaze seemed to flicker for an instant before returning to its original light.

“I intend to do so.”

“…I will assume your senses have become addled from sleeping in so late. You insulted and reprimanded the very servant dedicated to assisting you – the only one who diligently works for your sake.”

Diligently, she said. I doubted whether a servant who barged into his master’s room and served cold leftovers was truly diligent.

Renold’s shoulders flinched as our eyes met.

So at least a shred of conscience remained. But I felt no amusement.

It was clear Yuria had not a speck of interest in me as a person.

However, this time I could not act as brazenly as before.

If I brought up the servant here, I would lose the one pawn I could still exploit.

Instead of venting her anger at me, she might lash out at the servant and tell him to leave.

Then she would likely assign one of her own people to monitor me.

I had experienced that enough times. So instead of retorting as I gazed at Yuria’s glare, I courteously bowed my head to her.

“My apologies for causing a disturbance.”

“What?”

“I should have been more mindful of my actions, but I made the mistake of causing an early morning disturbance. I hope you can generously understand.”

There was no inflection in my voice.

Even as I spoke the words, I knew they lacked sincerity, but these were not meant to be heartfelt words regardless.

I was merely bowing once, a wordless gesture to let it go.

Why was I the one apologizing for reprimanding her servant?

As she looked at me blankly, I turned my back on her, adding one more line:

“…My Lady.”

In the past, I might have called her sister, a term of familiarity.

But such closeness no longer suited us. Our relationship had already become too twisted to unravel.

Yuria did not stop me as I left the dining area, my food unfinished.

She only watched me with unsteady eyes, as my steps carried not a shred of hesitation.

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