Chapter 23: ✧:.｡.

—————————————————————–Translated By Arcane Translations

Translator: FusionX

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“Even though I heard you were participating in the festival, I thought you might come back late. But isn’t coming back at this hour a bit too much?”

She herself must know it too.

This situation of finding fault with me just for coming back late was quite ridiculous.

I’m not a child, what problem would arise from coming back at dawn?

There was no need to even discern Yuria’s intention.

She simply disliked me, felt irritated the moment our eyes met.

If not that, she probably intended to find fault with me and say something to me.

Although I knew this assumption was not ordinary, my sister Yuria’s personality was originally like that.

Arrogant and aloof.

Thus, she looked down on those who could not meet her standards.

Wasn’t it natural that she wouldn’t look kindly upon me, who had never been able to gain her favor since childhood?

In the past, I tried to cater to her and endure somehow… But now, not a shred of such feelings remained in me.

If she wanted to hate me, it was better to fully accept that hatred. Sᴇaʀᴄh thᴇ Nʘvᴇl(F)ire.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

Through dying 100 times, what I realized was that Yuria and I could never coexist.

“Is that so.”

“Not ‘is that so’. I’m asking if you have any sense of responsibility or not. Don’t you know Father is in charge of today’s Full Moon Festival? If Father is busy, you and I have to step up and-”

“I don’t quite understand what you mean by stepping up. Didn’t you revoke all my authority to do anything?”

Directly, by the Young Lady.

At my quietly uttered words, Yuria’s eyes narrowed.

Even though it was something I remembered, the reason she couldn’t recall was probably because that was all I had said to her.

The one who took away my authority to act as a member of the Taylor family was Yuria.

That was why I was looked down upon even by servants in this ducal estate.

I had forgotten because I never made an issue of it.

As I stared at her expressionlessly, Yuria clicked her tongue and retorted.

“You don’t really think you’re not a member of the Taylors just because your authority was revoked, do you? And your authority was revoked because your mistakes were severe.”

My mistakes, she said. Come to think of it, back then too, my authority disappeared because she found fault with me coming back late.

Then what would she say to me this time?

I had no desire to listen either.

If I just listened like this, it would only harm my emotions unnecessarily, so I wanted to simply apologize once and leave.

“You’re right. I was wrong.”

“…What?”

“I’m apologizing for coming back late. I’m sorry for causing unnecessary concern. I’ll be careful to come back early next time.”

“I never worried about you.”

That’s none of my business. I knew she wouldn’t care, so I just wanted to go to my room and rest now. I was quite exhausted both physically and mentally from saving Arwen and dealing with Adele in the process. If my emotions were provoked, my sharp feelings might burst out.

So I bowed my head and apologized as politely as possible, then turned around.

There was no need for a long conversation with Yuria.

Although I was quite surprised to run into her today, that was all.

That’s what I thought.

“As expected of the son Mother cherished.”

…If only I hadn’t heard those words, I would have returned to my room.

The fact that the name “Mother” reached my ears made my steps abruptly halt.

“Always doting on you, not realizing your own role even now. Always minding your own business and never caring about the family. Is it true that love makes one resemble the other?”

“Young Lady.”

I always tried to make rational judgments, but not this time.

I knew Yuria was also aware of what the name “Mother” meant to me. And she uttered it knowing it was taboo to me.

At that moment, with a crunch, my teeth gnashed together.

I knew it was a ploy to anger me.

If I showed no reaction, she would simply look down on me as pathetic.

I knew her words were intended to provoke me.

Still, there was a line that humans must not cross.

No matter how much one disliked or despised someone.

There were names that should never be uttered.

“You were always like that. Whenever there was even a slight disadvantage, you would run away. That’s why you’re running away like this now too, aren’t you?”

Yuria had disliked Mother since long ago.

She said Mother didn’t suit her taste because she was too lighthearted and cheerful compared to the Taylors’ atmosphere.

To her, the family was more important than the person who gave birth to her.

Perhaps the reason she disliked me was also because I resembled Mother’s personality.

If that was really the reason, it would be extremely childish.

When I turned my head, Yuria faced me with a slightly surprised expression.

I didn’t know what my current expression looked like.

But it was surely quite ridiculous.

It was probably the first time in this run that I showed her an angry expression.

My lips curled up bitterly.

If I looked in a mirror, my eyes would probably be bloodshot.

The heat rising from my chest filled my head.

If I spoke, quite vulgar curses might pour out.

But I suppressed that.

If I erupted with passion here, it would be like falling for her provocation.

Suddenly, something my father had said came to mind.

Nobles must become more polite the angrier they get.

“Does it make you feel better to say that?”

“…What?”

“I asked if insulting your own mother and disparaging your younger brother like that makes you feel a bit relieved.”

“Robert Tayl-”

“If that is what the Young Lady wishes for, I should follow it, shouldn’t I?”

I felt the temperature in this corridor gradually growing colder.

As if warning me that if I made even the slightest misstep, frozen thorns would pierce each other and blood would flow.

But it was fine.

Bleeding was the one thing I was more confident in than anyone else.

“…I did not permit you to keep speaking to me.”

Yuria answered in a low voice.

Her eyes, cold as ice that seemed about to shatter at any moment, pierced through me.

Those were the eyes I had feared the most.

In the past, having those eyes glare at me and berate me, saying I had insulted the Taylors, was what I dreaded the most.

Now, it didn’t matter.

She was just a mere woman.

She merely held the position of Young Lady, the name Taylor was no longer precious to me.

So I did not avert my gaze.

Rather, I met her eyes and opened my mouth as if mocking.

“Is that so? I had no idea.”

“I didn’t know you had become so ill-mannered. Was the punishment you received last time not enough? Are you acting high and mighty just because you gained Father’s favor for a moment? I’m the one responsible for this ducal estate now.”

“I know. That’s why I’m being so polite, am I not?”

Even as Yuria drew the sword bestowed upon her when she was appointed as Young Lady, I still did not take my eyes off her.

It was a truly familiar situation.

No, it was a situation I had experienced several times before.

When I was still foolish and had not given up the name Taylor.

Even then, Yuria was looking at me with those eyes.

-You are the shame of the Taylors. Robert Taylor.

I knelt down and cried miserably, begging.

I pleaded for my life, even bringing up our sibling bond, trying to survive pathetically.

If I survived like that, I thought I would have a chance to somehow restore our relationship.

Like when we were young, a time I could no longer even remember, I tried to live believing we could be close again.

-…Imprison Robert Taylor in the basement. Until his bad habits are corrected, his meals and water shall be withheld.

But what was the result?

Even though I survived, I was locked in a cold room and died without seeing another person’s face until my death.

I had tried to survive somehow, not giving up even when meals never came.

I chewed on rats that slipped through the cracks and moistened my mouth with the blood of beasts.

Nevertheless, I died.

The moment I knelt before Yuria, my fate was already sealed.

I died like that and lived the next run. What had I done so wrong?

If it was wrong to beg because I wanted to live, that would be a truly ridiculous story.

As my eyebrows distorted at the fleeting memory, Yuria looked at me with disbelief.

She must not like this situation itself where I was saying something to her.

To her, I was always someone beneath her, a coward who couldn’t even make eye contact.

“With my authority as Young Lady, I can directly dispose of those who cause disturbances. You know that, don’t you?”

“Is what I’m doing now causing a disturbance?”

“You just said with your own mouth that you were stripped of all authority, yet you dare to defy me. If that’s not a disturbance, then what is? I’m serious, Robert Taylor.”

Drawing the sword bestowed upon her when she was appointed as Young Lady, she strode towards me.

Did she think I would be intimidated by that? At my unfazed attitude, the hand gripping the sword trembled.

Yuria let out a small sigh.

Her furrowed eyes were directed at me.

Ignoring the emotion in those eyes, I merely waited for what she would say.

What words would this foolish woman utter next?

The words flowing from her tongue were all her karma.

Karma that would one day return to her as swords and poison.

After a long silence, Yuria parted her lips while looking at me.

“You… seem to dislike the Taylors. Since childhood, you never once showed any affection for the family.”

“Is that what you think?”

A laugh escaped me inadvertently.

Yuria frowned with displeasure at the sight of me chuckling.

But it was a laughable statement.

I did not dislike the Taylors.

If I truly hated this family, I would not have repeated the regressions until now.

I had simply given up now.

Knowing that nothing could be changed with my individual efforts, all I wished for was death, abandoning my longings.

So I laughed.

Because her question was ridiculous, because the delusion she herself held was amusing.

“So that’s what you thought. You thought I disliked the Taylors?”

Taking a large step forward, I stood in front of Yuria.

She was much shorter than me, so it was the first time I looked down at her like this.

When I knelt and looked up at her, she seemed quite tall, but thinking she was such a miserable woman made me inadvertently smile.

“…You’re wrong. Young Lady.”

“What do you mean?”

“I do not despise the Taylor family. However.”

I paused for a moment, then looked at Yuria again.

I never thought I would directly utter these words. Words I had always thought but could never say.

If I did, the longings I held would be distorted, and I had no confidence to deal with the aftermath.

But there was nothing to be wary of anymore.

After casting out Theresa, there was nothing left for me to fear.

To Yuria, who was blankly staring at me, I slowly continued.

My voice was so quiet and calm that it was like a doll speaking.

“I only despise you.”

This was my outcry.

What I had wanted to scream out countless times while living my past lives, but could not utter and had buried in my heart.

How would she respond to this silent outcry?

The eyes that had always been frozen cold were not there.

There was only a woman with a stiff face, wearing a merely stupid expression as she stared at me.

No words came from her slightly parted lips.

After looking at Yuria like that for a while, I turned my back and started walking.

“I’ll be going now, Young Lady.”

I no longer had any desire to maintain our sibling bond.

Regardless of what she thought, even if she had a change of heart at these words, it had nothing to do with me.

Just as spilled water cannot be gathered again, our relationship was like that.

Leaving Yuria behind, even as I walked forward, a voice rang in my ears, whining.

It was a voice I had ignored in one of my lives.

A voice I had never acknowledged, seized by foolish lingering attachments. …I disliked Yuria.

Realizing that only now made me feel like a fool.

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