Chapter 69

—————————————————————–Translated By Arcane Translations

Translator: FusionX

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Witnessing someone’s death can never be a pleasant thing.

Even if it was a complete stranger dying, it was heartbreaking, let alone if it was someone you know.

What if it was the death of someone you’ve been particularly concerned about lately?

She couldn’t peek into all of Robert’s memories.

It was only fragments of the memories he possessed, but were these really just fragments?

At the point of observing Robert’s death more than twenty times, Adriana’s heart was gradually becoming desolate.

Each death was equally painful.

He was not trusted, not believed, and in the end, he was abandoned and betrayed, and died.

He died at the hands of someone he loved, and he died without being able to protect the one he loved.

It would probably be a lie to say that she could fully understand those feelings.

She herself wouldn’t be able to understand even a part of it.

So was that why it was so empty?

Having died dozens of times with feelings no one can understand, even the desire to do something had already worn out.

“Is there… nothing I can do?”

She had lived with the name of a saint.

Taking it as a virtue to help and bless others, she had simply lived for others.

But didn’t Robert also fall into that category?

No matter how much she tried to think of a way to help, nothing came to mind, and a futile light arose in Adriana’s eyes.

What was in front of her was Robert, who had fallen and died again.

How was this death, Adriana’s mouth twisted as she recalled it.

She didn’t know what feelings Yuria Taylor had when she looked at Robert.

But it was certain that it was wrong.

It was the first time she had seen a woman so twisted since birth.

Even his fiancée Theresa, and the head of the Taylor family.

Wouldn’t it be rather strange that he didn’t become twisted with such people around him? S~ᴇaʀᴄh the ɴ0velFɪre.nᴇt website on Gøøglᴇ to access chapters of nøvels early and in the highest quality.

Adriana, who wiped Robert’s cheek, smiled bitterly.

Although her palm was still only caressing the void, she just wanted to share her warmth even a little.

Perhaps in his previous lives, Miragen had played that role.

It had already been four times that she had faced a life where she became Robert’s lover.

There was even a time when he became the princess’s lover and almost held a wedding.

If Miragen hadn’t died, wouldn’t Robert have been happy in that life too?

Her gloomy feeling didn’t easily disappear as she had seen him take his own life several times.

As soon as he started regressing, he stabbed his own throat with a knife and deliberately chose to drink poison to end his life.

Watching him suffer, she also shed tears.

Adriana, who stroked her reddened eyes, then carefully sat down next to Robert.

“This time, the world isn’t scattering quickly.”

When Robert experienced a death, the world in his memories scattered like dust, and she would face the next memory.

Now with blurred vision, looking at the hazy front, she realized that this memory was the last.

What kind of death of Robert would she face this time?

It was frightening now.

She resented herself for having set out to examine his memories.

Just looking at these things would only be painful, and now her brows furrowed involuntarily at the stinging pain piercing her chest.

…But, that didn’t mean she should run away.

It was a memory only she knew.

If not Robert, she was the only person in this world who could know about this memory.

Even though she wanted to run away right now, even though she wanted to return to the Moon Tower and run to Robert.

She endured and faced these deaths.

She was the only one who could understand Robert’s regression.

Realizing only now that when he was truly tired and exhausted, when he was about to collapse at the end of this life, there was only one person who could help him.

If she didn’t help, it wouldn’t be strange for him to break down at any moment, so she had to step up before his empty heart completely shattered.

“…It’s cold.”

The wind in the North was cold.

Although she couldn’t feel everything, Robert, who died alone here, must have faced this cold as it was.

Adriana, who sat on that snowy field, muttered.

Feeling the chill piercing through her thin clothes, she looked at Robert, who had now become completely cold.

As the wind blew, the memory slowly collapsed.

Scattering like burning pieces of paper, Robert also gradually began to disappear.

Not the snowy field, but near the imperial palace, it was a tower she was seeing for the first time, but.

Adriana realized it was the Moon Tower where she lived.

But there was probably only one reason why it felt strange.

If the Moon Tower was the background, she would have to see the woman staying at the top of this tower.

Adriana stepped towards the memory.

“Cardinal Verod, you said there was someone who wanted to see me?”

And, she saw herself.

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It was the first time she had appeared in Robert’s memories.

What kind of person would she remain as in Robert’s memories?

Was she a lover like Miragen, or a colleague like the Grand Duchess?

While laughing inwardly thinking it would be awkward if Robert was a paladin, Adriana slowly faced the memory with her anxiety that inadvertently bloomed.

It seemed like Robert had tried to find her.

She didn’t know what business he had, but didn’t he need some help from the church?

With Robert’s position, he must have met her, and Adriana’s face soon filled with puzzlement as she quietly looked at the memory.

Robert had come to see her many times.

Day after day, year after year, month after month.

But she never met Robert.

The moment she headed inside the Moon Tower, curious about the reason, Adriana’s complexion turned pale upon hearing the words she uttered.

– Should I… meet that person?

Her own expression as she hesitantly answered was full of questions.

She already knew that the rumors about a person named Robert Taylor were not good.

But how could she say that without even directly meeting him face to face?

Even if she wanted to blame him, it was her own words.

It was strange.

No matter how much of a stranger he was, there was no way she would have said that.

Whose words did she listen to and answer like that?

That question was resolved in the following words.

Perhaps it was also an answer she had already thought of in a corner of her heart.

– His Highness the Crown Prince said last time. It’s better to avoid people with bad rumors, and he said there’s someone after my life these days…

Even Verod was agreeing with those words.

She knew better than anyone that Robert wasn’t that kind of person.

But believing the Crown Prince’s words without a doubt, she was suspecting a person she had never met.

Ha, Adriana, who let out a hollow laugh, plopped down like that.

It was none other than her own words.

No matter how she made excuses, no matter what other reasons there were.

In the end, it was her who had abandoned Robert.

The reason Robert sought her out was to make a move before the Crown Prince tried to kill her.

The Crown Prince was always deeply involved in Robert’s deaths, so didn’t he gain some realization in the repeated deaths?

…And she had let that go.

She had rejected the hand reaching out for help.

Just because it might be dangerous.

Adriana, who wiped her face, exhaled heavily.

She couldn’t bear the disgust at her own actions.

What kind of saint was she?

Even though she received the name of a saint with the power of God, she rejected a person in need of help like that.

“Haha…”

That was how Robert died.

He had hoped for the saint’s help, but he died in vain without receiving it.

Wasn’t it her fault?

She clenched the rosary in her hand tightly, and then it shattered, piercing the shards into her palm.

Even the stinging pain felt like nothing.

Because compared to the pain Robert had experienced in that life, it was nothing.

Drip, drip.

The blood flowing from her palm dripped towards the floor.

Although his memories had ended, the last memory she saw still remained vividly in Adriana.

“… I, I.”

If she had listened to Robert’s words even once, could he have survived then?

It was a life that had already passed.

Even if Robert resented her, it wouldn’t be strange.

Even though blood flowed, the feeling of pain wasn’t very severe.

She just got up from her seat and moved her steps staggeringly, leaving the shattered rosary as it was.

She had witnessed countless deaths.

Sometimes she was angry together, sometimes she watched those deaths while crying together.

She resented the fact that she couldn’t help him, but she had even been directly involved in his death.

Wasn’t the compassion she harbored truly ridiculous?

Unlike when she came here, Adriana’s steps were just heavy.

She staggered and walked with legs that had no strength at all.

She couldn’t see ahead anymore.

The sight she had temporarily regained while reading the memories had now disappeared again, showing her only darkness.

“I’m sorry. I’m… sorry.”

That apology probably couldn’t be made to him.

She couldn’t honestly confess that she had seen Robert’s memories, could she?

She just wanted to comfort him.

About the loneliness he harbored, about the misery.

She wanted to let him know that he wasn’t alone anymore.

Tears flowed down her cheeks.

She knew better than anyone that the apology she had already muttered several times was meaningless.

She also knew well that she could no longer apologize for that anymore.

Since the Robert she should apologize to had died, what would be the point of apologizing to the current Robert?

It was already, too late.

The flowing wind was still cold.

Even colder than the wind she had faced in that snowy field, and this wind would reach Robert too.

She couldn’t even imagine the sensations he felt.

How cold would the wind flowing in that empty inner self be?

So Adriana walked.

Forward… forward again.

Towards the Moon Tower, where Robert would be alone.

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At the creaking sound, I briefly looked at the window and saw where the wind was coming in.

Although it was time for everyone to be asleep now, I didn’t realize it was too late because I was reading the documents Arwen had sent.

The only light left in this room was a single candle, and I was lost in thought for a moment, looking at the moonlight dimly shining through the open window.

“In the past, I couldn’t even enter.”

I had tried several times, but each time I was blocked by various reasons and had never entered.

But now I was in here like this and even sleeping.

Wasn’t fate a really curious thing?

If I had met Adriana then, would I have already ended the regression?

It was not that I didn’t imagine such assumptions, but it was after I had somewhat let go of my lingering attachments to the past.

Now… well, I think it couldn’t be helped.

It would have been better to find a way out in something other than the church.

Because there were aspects where I acted a bit foolishly.

Those thoughts were dispersed by the presence heard from the corridor.

Wondering who would be moving at this hour, I approached, and soon the door opened and a familiar face entered my sight.

“Robert, do you have a moment?”

“…Adriana, your eyes?”

Did she cry until now?

I hurriedly reached out my hand upon seeing her red and swollen eyes.

There was nothing strange when we parted in the evening, what on earth happened at night?

I gently caressed her cheek.

I asked what had happened, but Adriana just shook her head and responded with silence.

“The night is cold. Come inside. I was surprised, wondering what had happened to you.”

“I have something I want to say. And something I want to ask of you.”

Adriana, who stopped at the doorway, moved her lips.

Her voice mixed with tears seemed like she would burst into tears at any moment, so I quietly looked at her for a moment.

I didn’t know what happened.

But it was certain that she was agitated.

Would she need comfort?

Hesitating for a moment, I gently opened my mouth to Adriana like that.

“If it’s a request, I will gladly listen.”

“…Will you hug me?”

For a moment, my mouth stiffened at the words I heard.

I didn’t know how to answer, I didn’t know what she meant by saying that.

Adriana, who had been looking at me like that, then smiled slightly and continued.

“The wind is cold. More today than yesterday.”

Thud-

Adriana, who had buried herself in my arms like that, wrapped her arms around my waist.

Burying her head in my chest, my body just froze coldly for a moment as she sobbed like that.

A warm warmth was conveyed to me.

Tears dripped on my chest, and her hands held my waist tighter and tighter.

“…I’m sorry. I’m really sorry.”

I didn’t know the reason for her apology.

I didn’t know why she had come to me sobbing and hugging me, nor why she had come to me at this dawn.

But if I asked about that in this situation, it wouldn’t be polite.

Right now, the best thing would be to just comfort her.

My hands, which had been unable to find a place for a moment, gently wrapped around Adriana’s back.

Patting her, comforting her as if saying it was alright.

“I don’t know what you’re apologizing for, but there’s nothing you need to apologize to me for.”

Even if it was about a past life, that was still the case.

I had never, not even once, resented the woman named Adriana.

I gently hugged the woman who was sobbing like that without a word.

Feeling the body temperature being conveyed, the chill of the winter wind touched that warmth and just scattered.

“So, you don’t have to apologize.”

Adriana’s warmth was cozy.

Enough to forget for a moment that the current season was winter.

If her sincere intention was to hug me because she was cold, it must be clear that her feelings were conveyed.

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