CH 12

Chapter 12: “No,” Xie Jianwei shook his head, saying: “Xu Li isn’t Lu Li.”

• • •

The passage of events was like so.

Xie Jianwei and Lu Li held hands as they gazed at the stars and gazed at the moon, as sweet as could be.

But very suddenly, in that instant, Xie Jianwei saw in front of him a car, stepping on the gas like mad, pushing and shoving its way forward in the middle of the night.

Xie Jianwei didn’t think anything of it at first, because no matter how much the car raged on, at least it wouldn’t drive onto the sidewalk; and yet, just as this thought flashed through his head, an extremely familiar silhouette abruptly appeared on the road.

He was crossing the road, but he was distracted – he didn’t even look out for the car, hurtling towards him. 

That was Lu Li!

Xie Jianwei’s heart thudded; logically, he knew that Lu Li was just by his side, that the two were currently holding hands – but when he turned his head again, where was the person beside him? The Lu Li that had been holding his hands had disappeared, and replacing him was the Lu Li that was about to be hit by a car! 

Lu Li’s life was in danger, and Xie Jianwei’s body reacted faster than his brain. 

He rushed over, and pushed ‘Lu Li’ away, falling underneath the desperately breaking car instead. 

And thus occurred the scene that Lu li saw – Xie Jianwei, fallen in a pool of blood, in order to save Xu Li. 

Yan Ke’s expression filled with shock after listening: “How did this happen? The one hit by the car was Xu li? But Xu Li suddenly turned into Lu Li?”

Xie Jianwei nodded; his heart was still beating super rapidly; even though he knew it was a dream, but the moment in which Lu Li had been situated in danger had triggered the part of his memory that he was most reluctant to confront. 

-once, because of him, Lu Li had almost died in the old lair of the Hundred Limbs clan.

That was his first time experiencing the feeling of his heart abruptly stopping, and now he was experiencing it for the second time. 

Xie Jianwei closed his eyes, calming his emotions: “I’ll go back to check it out.”

Yan Ke’s face revealed a strange expression, as he said: “My lord…could Xu Li perhaps be one of the Supreme Commander’s personalities?”

It wasn’t unusual for him to consider this – Xie Jianwei was entering the world of Lu Li’s spiritual consciousness – in a sense, everything within the world of his spiritual consciousness was him; consciously or subconsciously, everything was Lu Li. 

Human nature is complicated; it has kindness and it has evil, it can be outstanding and it can be imperfect; Xu Li was perhaps another side of Lu Li. 

“No.” Xie Jianwei shook his head, saying: “Xu Li isn’t Lu Li.”

Yan Ke didn’t understand why he was so sure: ‘Why?”

Xie Jianwei spoke: ‘i can be sure Xu Li isn’t, because he was using me from beginning till end.”

Xu Li didn’t love Xie Jianwei; he didn’t love him three years ago, and three years later he still didn’t love him; that Xu Li would come back from overseas, stubbornly entangling with Xie Jianwei – the main reason was that sister of Xu Li’s. 

Elder sister Xu had married a young master from a prominent family in S city, but in these recent years, her husband’s family’s financial situation has frequently had problems cropping up – it could be said that they were hovering on the edge of bankruptcy. 

That Xu Li could be so happily free and unfettered overseas, his sister’s contributions couldn’t be overlooked. 

After all, the freedom that Xu li desired was inseparable from money. If something happend to Xu Li’s sister’s family, Xu Li would suffer alongside them.

Afterwards, Xu Li remembered a blockhead with money, Xie Jianwei; as long as he gave a hand, the problems of elder sister Xu’s husband’s family would be readily solved, 100%. [1]

And thus Lu Li, after three years’ time, was ‘suddenly’ enlightened, discovering that he was ‘terribly in love’ with Xie Jianwei.

These matters may have been able to fool President Xie from Lu Li’s dreams, but they weren’t the Xie Jianwei of now. 

He only needed to dig a little to know the ins and outs of the matter. 

So he very clearly knew what sort of person Xu Li was, and he also very clearly knew what Xu Li’s intentions towards him were.

Would someone like this, be one of Lu Li’s personalities?

At any rate, Xie Jianwei had been in contact with Lu Li’s four personalities for a long time – and even though they had different temperaments, and some were even considerably willful, but there was a pre-condition that was doubtless.

No matter which lu Li it was, they were all deeply loyal to Xie Jianwei. 

If it wasn’t for the fact that they deeply loved Xie Jianwei, why would they feel so jealous of themselves to the extent of wanting to kill themselves?

Yan Ke had unconditional faith in Xie Jianwei; if he said it wasn’t then it definitely wasn’t. He didn’t know whether to cry or laugh upon thinking about it, saying: “Could it be that Lord Supreme Commander is doing it on purpose? He was convinced that if Lu Li was met with danger, yo uwould definitely risk your life to save him, so when the dreamscape created this situation it shone a light on your heart?”

After all, if Xu Li had a car accident, Xie Jianwei definitely wouldn’t go to save him, but if Xu Li turned into Lu Li, then Xie Jianwei would absolutely put his life on the line.

After considering it, Xie Jianwei said: “Not necessarily, perhaps there’s someone obstructing us.

The implications of this sentence were deep. 

Yan Ke blinked, and wasn’t able to respond for a long time.

The good thing was that Xie Jianwei had completely calmed down by now. 

When he returned to the dramscape, he found himself already lying in the hospital.

Even though the scene at the time looked extremely terrifying, but, after all, this was Lu Li’s dream – how could he let Xie Jianwei die? And so, even if he was sent flying by a speeding car, and there was enough blood flowing from his body to water flowers, he still wouldn’t die – he didn’t even injure his organs; it was only that his superficial wounds were quite scary-looking. 

Even more bizarre was that Xie Jianwei, lying on the sickbed, completely couldn’t feel pain. 

He had already made the mental preparations to be in the pain of hovering between life and death, and in the end, apart from not being able to get out of bed, he couldn’t even feel half of anythign else.

And so to say…could it please not be so illogical?

How could there exist someone who, having been beaten into such a state, would feel neither pain nor itch? Being biased to such an extent, Lu Big Li, could it be bcause you’ve realised that you’re in a dream?

Xie Jianwei felt that his double standards were on point. [2]

When he was illogical he could overlook it, and yet when he was the slightest bit uncooperative he would play at splitting.

If it wasn’t for the fact that the bastard really did have a bleak mental situation, Xie Jianwei would thnk that he was pranking him!

Xie Jianwei slowly opened his eyes; sitting by his bedside, Lu Li’s tensed up body finally relaxed some. 

Xie Jianwei had been comatose for three days and nights, and Lu Li had stood guard by his bedside, without even changing his clothes, feeling as if his organs had been beaten into a pool of mud. 

On one hand, he was in despair over Xie Jianwei’s willingness to die for Xu Li, and on the other hand, he was terrified of what he should do if he really did die. 

Despite not having slept for a long time, Lu Li didn’t feel the slightest bit fatigued; he only endlessly thought, endlessly hypothesised, and then endlessly overturned those. 

He wanted him to open his eyes, he wanted him to live – he thought that, as long as Xie Jianwei was alright, he would help him gt his heart’s desire.

Since Xie Jianwei liked Xu Li, then he would give him Xu Li. 

His fears, his worries, his unease – he could help him resolve all of them.

Lu Li even lowly and pettily thought that, since he wasn’t what he wanted, then he would help him get what he wanted. 

Even if he himself would sink into endless regret and despair for the rest of his life.

Lu Li thought about these thoughts very much, very very much.

But in the moment that Xie Jianwei opened his eyes, all of them disappeared again.

He couldn’t let go of XIe Jianwei – how could he ever put Xie Jianwei down? He had spent all of his emotions on loving him, so how could he watch him leave to be with someone else? 

He couldn’t do it, he absolutely could not do it!

He wanted Xie Jianwei; he absolutely could not endure him being together with someone else.

Xie Jianwei opened his eyes and gazed at him, and didn’t speak for a long time. 

Lu Li came back to his senses very quickly; he didn’t say anything, only pressing down on the alert beside the bed.

Doctors poured in like fish, the line of check-ups making Xie Jianwei’s brows knit tightly; such underdeveloped medical facilities – it was a pity that this was only a dream, otherwise, he would definitely triple the lifespans of these ancient earth dwellers. 

The doctor in charge gratifically spoke: “Mr Xie is out of danger.”

Lu Li visibly sighed in relief.

The doctor in charge said: “Mr Lu should also quickly rest a little; you’ve kept watch for such a long time, you must be…”

“You people…” a week voice rang out, and Xie Jianwei revealed a perplexed expression on his face: “…Who are you?”

At his words, the people present were all stunned. 

Lu Li walked to his bedside, his pair of black eyes fixating on him; “What did you say?”

Xie Jianwei looked at him, eyes blinking, and then, frowning, spoke: “Who are you?”

Lu Li: “…”

The doctors hurriedly walked closer again; after checking, the lead doctor frowned and said: “Although there’s no way to confirm through checkups, such situations are a pretty common sight – most probably, because the collision happened to the head, it created a temporary loss of memory…”

He said a bunch of academic jargon; Xie – postdoctoral researcher in medicine – first-grade academician of the research centre – Jianwei proclaimed: complete nonsense.

Xie Jianwei was only faking memory loss.

This was also a gap of opportunity; since Lu Li felt that his feelings towards Xu Li were deeply rooted, difficult to completely forget, then he might as well have a round of memory loss; having forgotten everything, he could love fuck all.

Lu Li obviously believed it; after all, lord Supreme Commander was born a country bumpkin – he hadn’t recieved an education, and so was considerably gullible…

The doctors all left, and Xie Jianwei spoke softly: “I’m thirsty.”

Lu Li froze, and it was only a second later that he came back to his senses; his throat tightened as he spoke: ‘I’ll pour water for you.”

Xie Jianwei smiled. 

Lu Li suppored him into a sitting position, and fed him water. Xie Jianwei glanced at him, saying: “Even though I can’t remember, but you must be a very important person to me right?”

Lu Li’s hands shook, almost tossing the cup onto the bed.

Xie Jianwei seemed to reminisce, but quickly frowned, saying: “I truly can’t remember, can you tell me who you are?”

“Lu Li.” Lu Li’s heart beat extrmely fast, and his voice was somewhat gravelly: “…Your lover.”

Xie Jianwei visibly paused: ‘Lover?”

The corner of Lu Li’s lips lightly rose, his lowered voice as mesmerising as an early summer night: “Yes, we’ve been together for a long time.”

Xie Jianwei watched him, and after watching for quite a while, he also smiled, his eyes filled with trust: “Sorry, I actually forgot my own lover.”

Lu Li kissed him, super naturally: “That’s alright, I will help you remember it again.”

Xie Jianwei didn’t feel a single shred of repellence at being kissed by him, his cheeks slightly reddening as he lowered his head and replied: “En.”

• • •

The author has something to say: Military Strategist Xie: For the sake of being locked up in a small dark room, I have also racked my brains.

Long Chang Chang (T/N: nickname of author): This is a brand of very very sweet little dark rooming [most probably made of gingerbread, hahaha]

[1] 迎刃而解: ying ren er jie: be readily solved: literally: split as if having been met with a blade (of bamboo). That is, the problem, like bamboo under the blade of the knife, is readily cut down.

[2] Translating this extremely loosely but (from what I can gather I admit rn that my chinese skills are crap) double standards is basically what it means. Literally, it says ‘Xie Jianwei felt that his (Lu Li’s) double shooting target was ok.” or something idk anymore!