Chapter 232 - Knowing Alexander

Alexa was sitting on her bed, looking at Romeo's cage in her hands, almost without blinking. She had been there for some time. And she couldn't say how much, after her brother finally had to go after they talked a lot.

The nightingale returned from its night flight and landed on top of the cage, facing Alexa.

"I prefer you like that, Romeo," she lamented to the bird. "I also preferred Alexander like that..."

Another thing worried her mind. If she was pregnant, her son or daughter was in a delicate situation. Right now, she needed to find out if that was true, but how could she expose herself like that? She felt nothing different in herself. That is: everything had just happened. She swallowed a cursed pomegranate seed; had her first time with Magnus; the spell on her body and soul was completely broken, casting her back to the lighthouse; and Alexander had said she was pregnant. Alexa knew it could be true ... She felt nothing different but an overall sense of being healthy again, though. However, Alexa could credit this to several other factors.

The Princess heard light footsteps in the hall, and hesitation at her bedroom door.

It was Alexander.

Alexa quickly got under the blankets_ she didn't want to talk to him now. It is, she needed to talk to him, she just didn't want it to be now.

He opened the door, and she squeezed her eyes shut, trying to calm her agitated breath.

So she heard his footsteps approaching the bed, and when he leaned over to reach the cage in the middle of the bed, she instinctively flinched.

"So are you here, Romeo? Did you miss your warm nest next to Alexa's body? I miss that, too," she heard him say. Alexa couldn't shrink any more than she already was, thinking of his words.

The mattress sunk slightly when he went up, sitting down next to her.

"GAHHHHH!" Alexa gave up pretending to be asleep, throwing the blankets up. She already knew she wasn't really having much success,

"What are you doing here?! And with boots on my bed?! And... And you smell like smoke, wine, and horse sweat, not to say worse! Could you 'not smell bad' on my clean sheets?" She didn't look at his face to know his reactions, but she heard him laugh with his youthful, clear crystal voice.

"It's the first time we've shared a bed like a man and a woman, awake and in their respective bodies, and you already accept that we're a couple ... since you treat me like we've been married for at least twenty years."

Alexa narrowed her eyes, looking sideways, and muttered, 

"I'm not lying."

"I know you don't. But understand me at least this time. I already understood all the situations where you smelled like fish, old man's fart, and a thousand other things but roses ... And I managed to survive."

The princess opened her mouth to contest, but it was probably true.

"Don't be so sulky. You said you wanted to talk to me! I came back for that. I know I owe some explanations and I don't want you to resent it."

"Do you want me not to be resentful? Ah Alexander, I'd love to strangle you right now!" She showed her clawed hands to him, who pursed his lips with a guilty and amused look.

"Forgive me. I could not avoid many things that have happened. They were out of my control. I tried to do my best not to hurt you ... But you will see I am thinking about your wellbeing and... everybody's wellbeing, in the end." He held out his arm for Romeo to stroll along its length.

"You..." she got up and stood on the bed. Standing taller than him, facing him, was a way of trying to make him change his attitude. This calmness and condescension emanating from Alexander annoyed her deeply.

Alexander looked up at her, seeing that the princess was staring at him, with her finger raised.

"No… I couldn't tell you what I didn't even remember, Alexa. The fact is that I was Alexander as far as I was able to be... Poor creature... Let's say I also had to live as someone else, just as you had to live like Alexios. The difference is that I didn't remember who I was… But, at the same time, I knew I wasn't who they said I was."

"You ... Aren't you the real son of Gutard and Gisela?"

"Yes, I am. I just had no memory of what I had done and who I really was. I had no dreams of my own, I just dreamed of your life... I knew you were someone else, so... Who was I? I had to find out."

Alexa put her hand over her mouth,

"When did you wake up? Now, with the pomegranate? Don't tell me that. You have been very strange lately."

"Since you arrived in Holstein… And you softened the heart in Mags' chest. From that moment on, I started to remember, little by little. I didn't always understand what was going on, though. It was confusing and frightening… But the time of fear is over."

"Is it really your heart in his chest?" Alexa asked, afraid of the answer. 

But Alexander didn't answer her question. Instead, he carefully placed Romeo in the cage. "I didn't want to lie, but if I told you the truth, you would be gone. If I said you were meant for me before you were even born..."

"You raised Mildred, didn't you? Now what Eldric said makes perfect sense!!! The gods visiting his home!" she exclaimed, pointing at him again, and then kicking Alexander's knees, releasing her frustration when she realized that Alexander had been lying for a long time. 

He was taken by surprise, and defended his knees with his hands, until Alexa stopped her immature reaction.

"You took too many risks for me and I will always be grateful. I can't imagine a person as generous and innocent as you, if I hadn't lived by your side."

"I am not generous. Not innocent, either," Alexa crossed her arms and made a face, and Alexander closed his eyes for a moment.

"All right. Forgive me. I was the one who had a lot of fun moments by your side. I was scared, angry, embarrassed and had all kinds of good and refreshing emotions. I was a bird! I have been close to your heart so many times that sometimes I long for the thump-thump only your heart knows how to do... It's a place where I will always feel safe. I shouldn't be saying that. You are looking at me with a murderous look that can even scare me."

The fact that Alexander had his eyes closed when saying this was impressive, and Alexa shivered.

"I know that you are actually a lich who is somewhere under Holstein, like Volos! You have taken possession of this body, but you have neither this face nor this youth."

"Ah Alexa, Alexa… Are you trying to offend me or is that a question?"

"It's kind of question," she mumbled cautiously for a change, assessing whether she was provoking the powerful lich too much.

"I am not exactly a lich. Like Volos, I mean. I will grant you this truth because you are my wife. The woman I love."

Alexa swallowed.

"Love? If you love why ... Why?! I don't understand this love!!!" she sat down abruptly on the mattress, and the Prince opened his eyes, staring at her.

"Do you need to understand love?"

"...!"

"There is nothing to understand about love. I didn't choose you to love."

Alexa didn't know how to answer the words spoken so clearly, or to stare into her eyes, without shame or fear.

"Alexander will not be returning. He was part of me, but when he fully awoke, he was gone. He was probably more fun, but I will do my best ... In my old spirit, so as not to upset her." Seeing her embrace as if she were cold, Alexander took the blanket and placed it on Alexa's shoulders, kneeling behind her on the bed.

"Hold on just a little longer. This son has obligations to the father who looked after him so dutifully, so lovingly. I'm going to war. Until Magnus is back, at least. I'm sure our enemies won't be prepared for it," he shrugged, and the princess got alarmed.

"Are you really going to avoid talking about our situation? About Magnus, you and me?" Alexa was not comfortable talking about it after hearing Alexander confessing his feelings. But if she was pregnant, this son was unquestionably Magnus'! And more than that, it was Magnus that she wanted to be married to! She couldn't deny that anymore.

"He's definitely going to be mad at me. But he can't kill me anymore, can he? Because he did it once ... And it was horrible, to tell you the truth. But I don't hold a grudge... I will reward him with everything I can do for him, Alexa. But don't think I can give you up now. It's beyond me, I'm sorry."

"Get out of here, Alexander," she managed to say, annoyed beyond words. She couldn't tell whether Alexander was being cynical or was really serious.

The Prince got out of bed, and went to the door.

"But I won't go to war until I say goodbye. It's the least a couple should do... Then we will see each other soon. And Alexa… I'm going to ask you a favor."

"What?" she replied brutally.

"Do not disturb Gutard. Don't tell him. Don't let him die in disgust for failing. He was an excellent father for Magnus and me. What would we have done without his disciplinary love?"

She couldn't even imagine what kind of powerful monsters they would be.

"Nor tell anything to 'Blue Eyes'. I like what you call him. He worked hard for us, too."

This made Alexa question, despite having sent her husband out,

"What's your deal with Letitia, anyway?"

"Hm..." he turned over his shoulder. "You will soon know. Alexa… Take good care of yourself. Don't take unnecessary risks. There are still many dangers around you. Stay away from Cordelia."

"If you think so, why don't you just send her away?"

"Because you convince me she serves some purposes. She's taking good care of my father, either because of some kind of self-inflicted penance, or because this is her gift. And my father is taking good care of her... Because he needs to redeem himself with women, don't you think so? So, we must not interfere in that."

"...!"

The door closed behind Alexander, leaving Alexa with more questions.