Chapter 269 - Bitter End

"I already know that. When you sleep for the winter, I will go crazy. What is really going to stop me?"

"Mags ... You are normally a very sensible man." She chose her words cautiously. Magnus' eyes were lighter, more and more yellow ... less and less human. "What's happening with you?"

"I just know things I didn't know before. With horrible clarity. I remember ... The things that happened here in the past. I remember… who I was, and how we got to this point."

"Are you ... saying that your heart brings you memories now?"

"Yes, Alexa. And I don't know what to believe anymore. I am Orcaius, or Orcaius is Alexander. Or ... It's better not to start with that. It could be an infinite thing, repeating itself every time someone tries to change the fate of this pathetic creature that has defied the unknown... In a cycle of destruction, which is taking on ever greater proportions."

Alexa was beginning to understand what was going on in Magnus' head. He saw no solution and was sure that everything would be repeated. He would either be imprisoned for the hope that there would be a cure, or he would lock himself in place while he still had some sanity. Godly people, or unscrupulous people, would come to him ... And it would start all over again. And there was still one person, at the top of the tower, of whom they knew nothing. Who really was Alexander? A criminal and manipulative soul, or someone who once only wanted to save Orcaius, and ended up taking his place? A victim?

She reached out to touch his face, but he held her hand in the air quickly, and did not allow it,

"You don't think I can live with your pity, do you?"

"Mags, that's not it. I…"

"You will soon hate me."

"Don't try to predict the future."

"But I already know how it draws itself."

Alexa was silent, and Magnus released his hand. The carriage continued on smoothly, but she did not look out the window. I just imagined they were going to Schwartzhofhausen.

"There are two days until the solstice," she recalled, suddenly feeling colder, and curling up under her luxurious cloak. It hadn't snowed yet, but it would happen anytime. Maybe even tonight.

This meant that for three months, she would be unconscious in this world, and according to Alexander, conscious in the underworld, with him. But did things were supposed to continue like this, as he had said? He seemed to have planned everything methodically, even if he said otherwise.

"Beatrix will be fine. The Emperor is aware of the problems we have had with witchcraft in the past year. He also knows that Cordelia was a witch. And other things too. Here are some letters," he took some papers out of his doublet, which he handed to her. "You have some explanations there. I don't want to waste my time on that anymore. I can't fix the future any more than I did."

Alexa was holding the cards and blinking, sensing that what Magnus planned was something extreme and definitive. Her reflection coincided with the carriage's stop.

The door opened, and the coachman informed the Prince that they had arrived.

Magnus helped Alexa down, and she then saw that they were at the lighthouse. The place was empty and abandoned.

She had no logical choice but to follow him to the top of the lighthouse, watching the giant, distorted shadows they both made against the curved walls, while the torch Magnus carried in front of him projected the light.

"Your Light is back, isn't it?" he asked, turning to her when they reached the top of the lighthouse. The same place where she had shared her life with Alexander. Without fire and heat, the place was inhospitable and cold, blackened, and ugly.

"Er... I think so," Alexa replied, uncertain but hopeful.

He turned his back to her for a moment, after placing the torch in a holder.

The absolute silence of the place was only broken by the sounds of the sea. That cold night, he looked especially desolate and lonely.

"Alexa… He turned to her, holding a spear. She was startled. Before she could ask anything, he came to her and handed her the spear. Her heart pumped painfully.

"Mags ... What is this?"

"Two goals: one is to defend yourself."

"Hang on. Mags, what are you going to do?"

He gave a sad smile. "I already realized that it would be very difficult to look into your eyes and explain… But I know that you already know the reason. I've said it before. I need to die. Die to kill Orcaius. Die to end this."

"NO!!!"

His smile changed, "It flatters me in a way it shouldn't have, Lex. Don't make it any more difficult. I've said it before. If I can't trust you, who can I trust? Help me. We will kill Orcaius together."

Alexa felt her knees shake, and her body soften. She would have an easy time forging a faint... In fact, if she didn't stand her ground, she was sure she would fall to the ground.

Tears started streaming down her face. Even though she understood the plan, she couldn't agree with that.

"Look at you. You learned nothing from everything we lived. In waiting for people to repent, to change their ways ... Why did I expect that from you? " Magnus commented.

"YOU CAN BE RESIGNED TO LEAVE ME, AND TO LEAVE YOUR DAUGHTER, BUT… WHAT ABOUT HOLSTEIN? YOU KNOW VERY WELL THE JACKALS WILL COME FOR THE LOOT! THEY DIDN'T DO IT ALREADY FOR THEY FEAR YOU!" she screamed. It was pathetic to appeal to that, but it was real. She knew that without Magnus, the rich kingdom would be an easy target.

"And do you prefer Orcaius to rule over Holstein?"

"YOU ARE NOT ORCAIUS! You are Magnus! Magnus von Wuttenfal!"

"NOT YET! BUT… Don't you see that this is how Alexander will be free to find you when winter comes?"

"MAGS!" She was grateful to have a pole to lean on, as her knees were definitely no longer supporting her weight.

"ALEXA!" he ran his hand through his hair, aggravated. "Don't do this with me. Understand ... That I KNOW. That the Magnus you met is dying here and ... I have little time for that. Do you think I'm ready to leave? Do you think I wouldn't like to take care of everything? Of everyone? Beatrix? Do you think I want to leave you?! No, Lex. I want to devour you, consume you, possess you ... As sickly as the general of Constantinople. I will kill you and turn you into an upir, and then you won't leave me anymore ... We will be an eternal couple. I'm going to sting Alexander's body and give it to the animals. I will destroy that ridiculous cathedral that was built on top of my tomb ... How dare them?! There are no new things under the sun. I will judge the crimes in my city..." Magnus put his hand on his face while murmuring under his breath. If Alexa had not come close, she would not have heard the scary words, which made her grip the spear more tightly.

In a choked voice, she called him,

"Mags ... Stay!"

"Please Alexa, don't weaken me!" he took a deep breath, clearly fighting himself.

"Mags!"

"Do you love me, Alexa?"

Don't ask me that. You know I do!"

"I love you too!"

"So don't do this to me!"

"Because I love you, it's necessary."

The two stood in silence, staring at each other for a moment. The tension was palpable, and Alexa could not stand the pressure, babbling her revolt in disorder, while copious tears washed her face.

"I won't do this to you! If you expect me to pierce your heart... I won't do that! Don't make me do this!"

"No. I wouldn't ask you to get your hands dirty with this." he looked at her. Tears were streaming down his face when he drew his long dagger. The triangular blade shone in the torchlight.

"But I'm breaking my promise about joint plans. I doubt I will be able to do that by tomorrow ... and every word of yours is just another excuse for me to hold on to vain hopes. If I don't do anything now... Orcaius will win. And it will all start again. So I can't hear you anymore. Don't forget. The heart must be destroyed. This is your responsibility, Alexa."

He opened the jacket and Alexa still didn't believe he could do that. To himself. To her.

Alexa knew she was being childish, and that he was right. Or wasn't he?

The scar on his chest was exposed, and Magnus pointed the dagger at his heart, murmuring something she couldn't hear.

Then he raised his head to face her. His brow furrowed.

"Why are you crying, my love? I think I learned the lesson better than you ... Close your eyes, if you can't see. Please close your eyes."